Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 57

I tried to shimmy my way out of my pile of alphas without waking them. Ben had both arms wrapped around my waist in a vise grip. I allowed myself a small huff as I continued my extraction effort. I tried rolling my way out of his grasp, only succeeding in somehow being pressed more tightly to his chest. A gentle rumbling met my ears, and I realized the chest below me was shaking.

“I’m sorry to tell you, being a secret spy is not in the cards for you, precious,” Ben said in a whisper, his voice trembling with restrained laughter. “That was such a weak escape attempt.”

I huffed. I should have known there was a reason his grip had only grown tighter.

“Why are you getting out of bed?” he whispered, his breath running down the shell of my ear and making me shiver with pleasure. “Is something wrong? You need food?”

“Everything’s fine,” I said, stretching so I could plant a kiss on his lips. “I’m just going to meet Sam.”

“Mmm, what will you give me to release you from my clutches?”

I smiled in the dark, nuzzling my face against his neck.

I felt happier and lighter than I could remember between Sam’s visit, getting to drive, and forcing the guys to watch my favorite movies. Theo and Cam had finally relaxed this evening; even Ben had been more lighthearted than usual.

I decided I wanted to be playful.

“I’ll give you a blow job tomorrow.”

“Fuck. Fuck!” Ben hissed out, his hips involuntarily thrusting against my core. A shock of pleasure radiated through me. I smiled into Ben’s chest, loving that I made him lose control enough to swear.

“So, I take it we have a deal?”

“Only if I get to eat you out. It’s been way too long since I got to lick your delicious, plump pussy.”

A burst of slick wet my underwear and I perfumed. I glanced over to where the sliver of moonlight through the curtains illuminated Cam and Theo’s sleeping forms.

“You drive a hard bargain,” I said dryly. “But you’ve got a deal. Now let me up.”

I wriggled out of Ben’s grasp and headed towards the balcony. I’d managed to carefully open the balcony door when hands landed on my hips.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ben asked, his whisper sending shivers down my spine and causing me to arch my hips against him.

“I’m meeting Sam outside,” I said, forcing myself to pull away from Ben and step out onto the balcony. He followed me out, shutting the door behind him.

He raised his brows at me.

“Sam and I have late-night talks on the roof. It’s our thing. Don’t worry about it. Just go back to bed.” I made a shooing motion with my hands.

Ben stood back, arms crossed, looking between me and the roofline.

“What’s the plan?”

I huffed. “I said don’t worry about it.”

I dragged the balcony table closer to the roof overhang. I had checked it out earlier and was pretty confident standing on the table would give me enough leverage to pull myself over the roof’s edge. While I was not generally physically agile, I’d had enough roof-climbing experience in my childhood that I felt like it was in my wheelhouse.

The moment I got up on the table, Ben’s hands returned to my hips. I turned to look down at him from my elevated perch.

“You can’t possibly think I’m going to let you climb onto the roof, precious,” he said, humor in his voice.

I let out an exasperated breath. “You have to let me. Remember what I promised you.” I ran my hand through his hair and he groaned, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his face into my stomach.

“That was for letting you get out of bed. Now you want to get on the roof. I should at least get to plug your ass as a reward for letting you do this. That is, if I survive. Because if Cam wakes up and you’re on the roof, he’s going to murder me.”

A thrill ran through me at the thought of Ben plugging me, of him touching me there.

“Okay, deal. If we both survive the night, you can do that.”

“What?” Ben sputtered out, his shock making him forget to keep his voice low.

I gestured wildly and covered his mouth. He shot me an apologetic look and mimed zipping his lips.

“While I’m loving hearing this touching conversation about how you’re going to defile my best friend, let’s get this show on the road,” Sam’s voice hissed out from above, causing me to let out a small shriek and almost fall off the table. Ben’s arms tightened around me, keeping me steady.

“What the hell, Sam,” I whisper-shouted.

I could see the outline of his face pop out from the roof overhang, his bright eyes and smile clear.

“I could say the same thing,” he whispered back. “First, I have to hear you fuck the grumpy one in the dining room, and now this?”

“Wait, Theo’s the grumpy one?” Ben asked, glee in his voice. “I have to tell Cam he’s been dethroned as pack grump.”

I couldn’t resist smiling.

“Help me up,” I said to Sam, lifting my arms above my head. He pulled me up with ease, although I was sure I looked a bit like a beached whale with all my flailing.

“Just as graceful as always,” Sam said. I elbowed him in the side as hard as I could, causing him to let out a quiet grunt.

Ben popped his head over the edge of the roof.

“You good, precious?”

I shimmied on my stomach over to the edge and gave him a kiss. “All good.”

“Please be careful coming down. My ass is on the line here. Or should I say, yours is.” He winked before getting off the table. My cheeks must have been flaming red with how hot they felt.

Sam groaned as he hefted me further onto the roof. “I’m scarred for life.”

“You’ll survive,” I said. “Remember that time you butt dialed me while you and Gerald were doing that role play…” I squeaked as Sam lunged at me, covering my mouth with his hand.

“I thought we promised never to speak of it again,” he growled.

“Anything you say, professor.”

We both burst out laughing, lying back on the roof side by side. I reached out and grabbed his hand, reminded of all the times we had done this growing up.

Sam squeezed my hand. “You seem happy, Josie.”

“I think I am.”

“Are they treating you right? Because I’ll find a way to smuggle you back with us if not.”

“They treat me perfectly,” I said, smiling.

“I’m still not sure they’re good enough for you.”

His voice was grumpy, but he had talked and laughed with the guys at dinner. I had been on the verge of happy tears, so grateful to have the people I loved most at the table. Even if I had had to endure lots of jokes about us eating in the room Theo and I had defiled.

“I want you to like them. You’re my family, they’re my pack. I want us to all be friends together,” I said.

“Cam said something similar, actually.”

“He did?”

“I thought you would have heard when you were eavesdropping.”

There was no condemnation in his voice. We promised as kids not to keep secrets from each other. Besides, we perfected our eavesdropping skills at all the dinner parties we attended.

“I didn’t hear all of what you said. And I wasn’t eavesdropping. I was going to the kitchen for more snacks, and then I heard you all talking about me.”

“I’m sorry, Josie-girl. I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you.”

“I know.”

Because I did. I had been frustrated with the guys for not telling me about the files they found right away, but it had been a hard couple of days. I understood why they held back.

Sam and I lay for a while in companionable silence, the cool air washing over my skin and causing little goosebumps to spread across my arms.

“You really think I should help the Alliance?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“I think you should do whatever you want, Josie. You’ve earned it. I would never blame you if you wanted to sit out of this fight. But I know you, and I think eventually you might regret not taking an active role. I know you don’t think you can be helpful to the Alliance. But you’re wrong.”

“I don’t even know what I would do to help them. I can’t hack stuff like Ben or do security like Theo and Cam.”

“You’re brilliant and brave.”

Warmth curled in my stomach at his compliment, quickly followed by doubt. “I’m not brave.”

“Fuck yes, you are. I’ve never met someone braver than you. The life you’ve lived, Josie? You’re brave to keep waking up every day, to keep fighting, to keep living.”

“But I’m afraid all the time.”

“And you keep doing it, keep moving forward, keep living with the fear. It’s the bravest thing you could ever do. The Designation Government is crumbling, Josie. Support is waning. Glen barely shows his face anymore. They’re getting desperate and making mistakes. Now that we have the alpha tabs, we have another advantage in this fight. The Alliance is confident we can end them soon.”

I wanted to believe what he was saying, but I was scared to get my hopes up. It hit me that I’d resigned myself to living under the Designation Government. My two years at the DA had taken the fight out of me.

“No one will blame you if you don’t want to take part. Giving them the device has already given us a leg-up no one expected us to have. You’ve done enough for the Alliance. The question is, have you done enough for yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve spent the last few years being their victim.”

I breathed in sharply, ripping my hand from Sam’s. Hurt bloomed in me.

“You think I’ve just sat around being their victim? Like that was a choice?” I asked, my voice getting louder.

“Fuck. No, that’s not what I meant.”

Sam moved closer towards me and I scooted away.

“Josie-girl, please listen,” Sam said quickly, desperation in his voice. “I don’t mean that any of it’s your fault. You fought as hard as you could. You fought every day to stay alive. I’ve never seen you as a victim, have never thought you didn’t do enough. What I’m concerned about is that you see yourself as a victim and not as a survivor. You see yourself as weak. I just thought that taking a more active role in the Alliance could show you how fucking strong you are. But I’ll back off if it’s too much. You never have to do anything to prove something to me. I already know how incredible you are. I never need convincing.”

I lay back down, breathing hard. Sam tentatively reached out to grasp my hand again, and I let him.

“Sorry,” he said softly.

I took a deep breath, forcing my jaw to unclench.

“It’s okay. I’m just feeling sensitive about it all. I had a bad nightmare the other night and it just brought it all back.”

Sam didn’t say anything; he just squeezed my hand.

“I’ve really missed you,” I choked out, tears falling down my face.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Sam said, his voice tight.

He pulled me closer to him and put his arms around me.

“You know I would do anything for you, right?”

“I know. I wouldn’t be here without you,” I sniffled.

Sam held me for what could have been minutes or hours. I breathed in his floral scent, so steadying after all these years without it.

“So…” he said once we pulled apart, a slyness in his voice. “When are you and those hunks in there going to bond?”

“Hunks?” I asked with a smile. “You’ve spent this whole time threatening them.”

“Yeah, well, had to make sure they were a bit intimidated,” he said with a stretch. “But I have eyes.”

“They’re so hot, right?”

“You’re avoiding my question.”

I huffed in irritation. “We haven’t known each other that long,” I hedged. “Is it… weird that they haven’t talked to me about it?”

I knew it was probably because they didn’t want to pressure me, but I couldn’t shake the nagging insecurity that they didn’t actually want to bond me.

As if reading the direction of my thoughts, Sam said, “Josie, if you woke them up right now and asked them to bond you, I guarantee they would all bite you on the spot. I might not be convinced I like them yet, but I can say with unquestioning certainty that they’re fucking obsessed with you.”

I squirmed a little, blushing at the thought of my alphas biting me, marking me as theirs.

“It’s a big step,” I said. “I just want to make sure I’m ready.”

“You will be,” he said.

The wind picked up and I shivered.

“We should head back in,” Sam said.

I sat up and started scooting to the roof edge.

“I wish you didn’t have to go in the morning.”

“I know. But hopefully, we can take down these assholes soon and then travel between provinces will be easier.”

I smiled at the thought of visiting Sam and Gerald’s home.

“Travel will be easier. And driving,” I said with a giggle. I knew my driving was reckless, but it was one of the few outlets I had for taking risks.

Sam groaned. “Here’s to hoping your alphas can keep you in line.”

I snorted, jabbing my elbow into his stomach again.

Sam lowered me down to the patio table.

“See you in the morning,” I whispered before slipping back into the warm bedroom.

I stared at my three alphas in bed, wondering how to get under the covers without waking them. I crawled up from the foot of the bed until I reached a spot between Ben and Cam. As I was trying to shimmy under the covers, Cam’s arms encircled me, pressing me to his hard body.

“Someone’s been very naughty,” he growled in my ear.

“I was just in the bathroom,” I whispered, my heart racing.

“Lying to your alpha. That’s just going to add to your punishment.” His hand squeezed my ass hard in a promise of what was to come. “But for now, you need to rest, little omega.”

A wave of exhaustion hit me, and I snuggled closer to his chest. Ben’s body pressed behind me.

“Traitor,” I hissed at him.

All I got in response was a chuckle as he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Go to sleep, precious. Tomorrow’s going to be busy for you,” Ben said. I shivered in delight, looking forward to everything my alphas had planned.