15 Suppression squad

MARKUS.

"And there's the final pack!" Huebert chimed, shrugging his axe from his shoulder and flipping it back around. "How long have we been in 'ere anyway?"

"An hour—two? Not that long…"

"Feels like a bloody age! And why is it always good old Grom that we save for last?"

Markus, his spectacles falling from his nose, adjusted their fit as he lifted his gaze from the report to eye the frontman of their party, who was as flippant as he was—well, clearly bored… "Because, mathematically, he's the furthest from—"

"No! None of that ‘scholarly’ crap!" The large man interrupted, his voice booming while holding his weapon outstretched, jabbing it towards the last encampment of goblins before the boss. "We could do things in any order we so choose. Head to Urk second, Turlock first!"

"Jitters after that?" Lisa chuckled, earning herself an enthusiastic nod from Huebert, who all but ignored the fact that ‘Jitters’ appeared at random, or sometimes not at all…

"Look, I'm not complaining, mind you, but it seems just a touch fucking bland, is all! I've run this dungeon since I was sixteen, and not once have I ever seen something that makes my knickers shiver since Grom broke my arm! And that was at level five! I'm just saying that maybe a little fucking fresh air would do the ‘gloomy girl’ some good for once!"

"Do you have any idea just how much paperwork would be involved in that?" Alicia commented, leaning on her staff while her eyes shifted towards the distance. "The guild would have to denounce every map, every guidebook, training regimen, and lesson plan that already exists and just toss them all out the window! Gods, they might even need to rewrite the tips and tricks board in the hall, and I don't even think it's been touched in generations... All that precedent—gone! Just because you're bored?"

"I mean, I get it…" Markus allowed, sighing as his too-large glasses slipped for the umpteenth time, as they were frustratingly prone to do. "But, this is a job, Huey, you know, something we're ‘paid’ for..."

"And quite well," Lisa added with a draconic grin, "Else nobody would bother coming in here who wasn't green as the gobbies!"

"Sure, the money is good, but really, think about this. I'd have to fuck off all the way to Caldera if I want a new level. Caldera! A three-day ride with a good horse or a damned week by land-barge… ‘All’ so I can get a little experience in while an entirely different city does its best to ass-rape me of all me worldly possessions!

“Is it too much to ask that the lords and ladies who run our beloved city let off the jackboots a little? Hm? Just because I was born here and not there, I've got to work in a dungeon ‘just’ to delve into a bloody dungeon! Does nobody see the insanity of that?"

"There's always wild dungeons," Alicia remarked, smiling slightly as she did so and knowing full well that she was poking the bear.

"Oh? And risk fighting in the belly of the beast itself? Say what you want about 'er, but at least ‘our girl’ doesn't try to actively eat ya with fucking acid traps!"

"It's just the nature of things," the mage offered, lifting a lazy finger to summon a fireball from its tip that shot out and incinerated one of the unsuspecting goblins in a blaze of flames! "Risk and reward," she declared. "If you want ‘easy street’, you should have joined the city watch…"

"And accept mere coppers for my hard work? Scraps hardly enough to feed me belly?"

"Take up fishing," Lisa suggested, arms crossed as she watched the distant goblins scream and holler their righteous indignation! All of them dancing around with clear dissatisfaction that one of their kin was burning to cinder.

"Never been good at fishing… besides, I'm already sort of right fucked for another dozen levels before my first build is all wrapped up."

Alicia merely scoffed. "There are plenty of people like that, dear Huebert. It's nothing new. Yet, people decide it's time for a change all the same and move on if they don't enjoy what their lives are like.

“Maybe you won't get as many levels in baking as if you'd made the decision back when you were younger, but it's never too late to do so! I'd wager that you'd even level faster doing something you love rather than kicking your boots and toeing the line."

"Nah, I love killin', it's fun! I just can't stand how bloody hard everything else around it seems to be! I never thought I'd be doing paperwork while fighting monsters…"

"What paperwork?" Markus accused, glaring at his comrade with narrowed eyes. "I haven't seen you pick up an inkwell since we were assigned together months ago!"

"Well, I'm still part of it," the fighter sniffed, rolling his shoulders as five little green monsters began running in their direction. "I mean, my name is on the form and all!"

"Can you even read?" Lisa giggled, one of her daggers flying through the air, end over end, planting itself blade-first in the skull of an approaching creature with a wet thunk.

"I'll let you know that I am very literate and educated. I just don't like reading in my spare time." So saying, Huebert swung his axe in a vicious arc, one of his boots stomping on the ground as he put his body into the swing.

He claimed the head of one goblin while his massive blade stuck in a second's chest, then, the burly redhead jerked his weapon with a practiced motion, stepping aside to avoid the fountain of blood that flew across the room as it fell.

"It is hard to get levels here rather soon after getting into the swing of things…" Alicia lamented, her expression souring as she gazed at the allotted experience the party shared for their deeds. "Personally? I've already applied for a transfer to another hall, preferably Caldera, given its dungeon has so many floors—but I think I'd take a posting almost anywhere I can get citizenship… I love Taeldra; it's where I was born after all—but…"

"You don't want to be level ‘fifteen’ by the time you're old and gray?" Huebert laughed, turning to the tall mage, who nodded emphatically.

Again, another of Alicia's fingers rose, this time crackling with bright energy as a bolt of lightning flashed and cooked a nearby monster from the inside out!

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The creature's body momentarily glowed with all its bones and organs visible through its skin before it flew away in a charred heap.

"I'm with you on the whole wild dungeon thing; the last time I tried my luck with one, half of us were maimed! And that was only on the first floor… Sure, we actually got a lot more experience, even from the low-level monsters, but risking your life for some measly levels seems…"

"Scary?" Lisa offered.

"I'd say more a bad bargain, honestly, but, sure, ‘scary’ works…"

"I think the lot of you are foolish then," Markus announced, lifting his chin as if in defiance of all the looks his team gave him. "A steady income of experience, good pay, safety, and stability. If you really want to be adventurers, then you should be trying your luck with wild dungeons. 'Cause, I'm afraid to tell you, this isn't adventuring; it's work."

"Oh, shove off, Markus; we're just having a chat and a hiss about life; no need to be so ‘serious’ all the time!"

"Well, maybe I'm just exhausted from hearing you complain about what we do every single time we come in here together! Maybe if you hate paperwork so much, you should look elsewhere for work, because this is what we'll be doing for years. Nothing is going to change about it by whining to the dungeon."

The large fighter blinked, his eyes shifting from the taller mage to the rogue, neither of whom seemed too interested in commenting.

Lisa just turned her back and wandered over to where her dagger was still stuck in a goblin's head while Alicia yawned, eyes glazed and returning to their typical disinterested stare.

"Fine, apologies, friend. Didn't know it grated on ya so bad to hear a man vent his woes… But maybe ‘you’ should consider a job with fewer people around ya if a little blabbering gets you that hot under the cap."

The mage's eye twitched at that, but he ultimately let it go.

His gaze lingered on Huebert's own for several seconds before the larger man shrugged and turned away.

Desperately, Markus wished there was a complaint portion of the form he was filling out, specifically one that was targeted towards what he saw as ‘bad eggs’ in the program.

He grunted, taking in a deep breath through his mouth to avoid the terrible smell all around him before jotting down his observations regarding the current layout they were re-mapping.

It didn't take long to compare the floor plan with the, thus far, entirely accurate variation of the map that they'd plucked from the pile shortly after starting the delve.

More, when he got back, Markus would be inquiring about the possibility of switching teams…

While he didn't really have anything against Lisa, the other two were as lazy as they were chatty… ‘Why’ couldn't people just do what they came here for in a timely order and depart with as minimal conversation as possible?

They only had to see each other once a day! And even then, only for a few hours at the very worst. Was it too much to ask for just a small modicum of bloody damn professionalism?

He certainly didn't think so…

As always, the chamber leading to Grom's room was exactly as was to be expected.

That was to say, uninterrupting.

The goblins, the decor, the loot, all of it falling well within expectation and previously set standards. Perfectly normal, as it always was, just as it should always be.

Markus began filling in the final section of their paperwork, the only one who ever voluntarily touched it, following along in silence as the members of their team began wandering toward the very last cavern the dungeon had to offer.

He wasn't sure when the exact moment it was when he knew something was wrong, the lack of familiar noise, the thickening atmosphere of dread, that spine-tingling sensation that ran along his back as though instincts were telling him to be wary…

No, there hadn't been anything that dramatic, at least not for himself.

Yet, he could pinpoint when Huebert ‘did’, as the man decided to proclaim, "Ay!" as humanly loud as possible! Right before, he carried right along as though trying to wake the dead... "Something's off, over here!"

Markus, and indeed, the others in their team, all slowed as they made their way down the winding tunnel, filing in behind the large warrior as the man stood at what should be one of the entrances to the boss's chamber.

At first glance, and as their eyes adjusted to the considerable brightness within, nothing exactly seemed wrong. It was a scene that Markus had been presented with dozens of times!

Grom's chamber wasn't anything specifically special when pitted against the dungeon's typical architecture and penchant for design. No more than a large cavern, both wide and tall, its chamber brightly lit and exceedingly warm through the presence of a roaring bonfire that stood in its center.

Of course, the typical goblin totems and bone-work art littered the space between nooks and crannies, ensuring that, during the battle, participants would have plenty of things to trip on and get stuck in while Grom, the massive hob-goblin that he was, chased people around his chamber to—well, ‘smash’.

Usually, the boss would trundle about while his underlings fought, cheering or insulting either side by equal measure while destroying anything of a fragile and artistic variety, using his club and legs to shatter the rickety structures, all in his appetite for mayhem.

Alternatively, if one failed to kill enough goblins as they made their way through, the fleeing buggers would eventually make their way to his chamber, where Grom would laugh at any choosing to confront him!

Moreover, he'd actually join in on the fighting right from the get-go.

It was a curious difference that had long since been chalked up to merely being a sort of design choice the dungeon had made without any clear rhyme or reason.

However, it was pertinent to note that, while fighting on his own, the large hobgoblin could enrage himself, thus becoming an altogether more difficult combatant than if he fought with allies.

Yet, neither of these things had any relevance to the situation at hand…

His eyes widened, even as his legs froze him in place, gaze drifting towards a pile of goblin bodies, upon which two long and athletically slender legs rested, elegant yet filthy green feet with long and vicious black nails bobbing atop them as though to the rhythm of some unsung song.

Further still, following along the lines of toned green thighs covered in some sort of strange but form-fitting bands of fur and bone was a ‘woman’ sitting upon Grom's throne of hides and skulls.

Markus found himself momentarily taken aback by the utterly stunning beauty that was staring at them, her flawless features, wide and pristinely wolfish smile, and twinkling red eyes all hitting him as though he'd been cold-cocked by Huebert after a night of drinking…

Her frankly dumbfounding allure made her appear as some savage goddess of primitives! Yet, even these most barbaric features failed to so much as snuff a modicum of her blazingly preposterous appeal, nor her crude and raw magnetic grace.

She was exquisite…

Perhaps even the most symmetrically attractive woman he'd ever laid eyes upon—which was, of course, absurd given she was very clearly a monster and a ‘greenskin’ besides…

Yet, goblins, despite the similarities on offer, did not share in her porcelain complexion, free of wrinkles and warts and pimples or any other of the myriad of conditions that anyone could be expected to possess; from the monsters themselves to the damned elves, who even suffered as such upon occasion, rare as it might be.

Still, the tusks that jutted from her lower jaw offered a more innocent and adorable appeal than they would upon anyone lacking her brutishly glamorous appearance, those gleaming red eyes more akin to the seductive yearning of a succubus than the beady and sunken things that Grom had used to glare at him countless times.

And though her skin was green, just as Grom's, and though her somewhat wild black hair was braided and decorated with thuggish and uncivilized trinkets of carved bone, nothing could seemingly detract from her entirely unexpected sexual mysticism…

It was simply too bizarre to really grasp!

The contrast between what he was expecting and what he saw was absolutely beyond expectation, right to the point that his brain fizzled, struggling to really grasp what was going on.

Slowly, Markus's eyes drifted to the report still sitting in his hand, mind flying through the slew of questions on offer as though he'd somehow missed the footnote that asked if there was some 'goblin queen' that waited upon Grom's throne, rather than the big man himself.

Perhaps with an accompanying ‘box’ he could place a meagre little check mark within and help him explain exactly ‘what’ he was looking at...