16 The dungeon is pissed!

MARKUS.

"...I'm not the only one seeing this, right?" Huebert intoned, starstruck as he continued to stare. “'Cause I'm about to start wondering if this fucking place is messing with my dreams. I never thought I'd be the sort to fantasize about monsters, but…"

"No, you're not dreaming," Alicia assured him, standing straighter as she spoke. "It seems the rumors are a little ‘off the mark’, but rest assured, whatever that thing is," she added, a sort of light vehemence in her tone, "it's only reading out as a first-tier monster, Level two.”

"So—weaker than Grom?" Huebert asked, his brow furrowing as he visibly pulled himself away from staring, turning slightly to eye his taller companion, who shrugged at his question.

"She's a hob, just like he is, but yes, theoretically, she's weaker. I've no idea why she would be, but…"

"Either way, it looks like we're in for quite a payout!" the rogue chuckled, cracking her knuckles as she stretched her fingers. "We've got proof the dungeon is starting to make waves again!"

"You think that thing is the monster behind all the mysterious deaths that have been piling up? I mean, there's been a lot of people going missing, it's true but—”

"It doesn't make sense," Alicia finished, tapping her staff on the floor with narrowed eyes. "It's not even that high a level."

"Maybe it is just only men that are going missing," Huebert laughed, flipping his axe back on his shoulder with a merry chuckle. "Could see why a few more of the lonely fuckers might try something silly..."

"With a goblin?" Lisa demanded, staring askance at her co-worker, who just shrugged at her in reply. "I mean… I get that she's a little pretty…" the rogue murmured, shifting to glare at the strange ‘thing’ waiting patiently for them. "But it's a monster, not a person! It's positively grotesque if you ask me."

"Ah, but nobody is asking, are they, sweetheart?" Huebert chuckled with a playful wink. "And regardless of your words, that ‘there’ is a seductress on a whole other level than the best of the best you can find in a brothel! Trust me," he added, shifting his belt with wagging eyebrows. "I should know; I'm an expert in such matters!"

"You're a pig!" Lisa accused, laughing and punching the man in his shoulder, all as the burly fighter merely grinned even wider.

"So, are we fighting it or returning to the guild?" Alicia asked after her two companions had finished. Her tone was more somber and thoughtful than enthused.

"Regulation states that we are to engage and assess its capabilities…"

Alicia eyed Markus with a curt nod, seeming to agree with his opinion on some level, though she was quick enough to play devil's advocate a moment later. "Just so we're all clear on matters, as Markus said, we are being paid to finish a job which includes investigating any potential additions to the design of the dungeon. However, I want to raise an issue I see with the situation, and one that Huebert already expressed. The deaths."

All of the delvers grew quiet for a time, their gazes moving to land upon the still complacent form of the dungeon's latest deviation from the norm. The way it was just sitting there, watching them, as though the creature were listening intently, was a deal greater than ‘moderately’ unnerving…

Markus found himself starting to pull on the various reports he'd read of missing persons.

By and large, the vast majority of those disappearances were between the levels of zero and eight, with the lion's share of those being individuals closer to a lower level than a higher one.

There were, of course, always a number of fools and morons lacking care and caution that did get themselves killed or badly wounded, but the numbers as of the last year had increased by a staggering quantity.

The missing persons department had been floored by the influx of reports and demands by friends and family for answers about the disappearances, but the insane thing about it all was that nobody had, as of yet, submitted a modicum of proof beyond accusation, conjecture, and baseless assumption…

Yet here they were, with a clear deviation from the norm, and the change didn't even seem that significant from a strictly mathematical point of view.

Yes, Markus had to admit that the initial shock provided by the creature's appearance had sort of wrapped him around her finger... If, for that initial short moment, he'd succumbed to her charm, it hadn't been anything approaching what he'd name a magic lure…

At least, not of the sort that was notably available for research within commonplace bestiaries…

The situation as a whole didn't sit right with him. Everything just felt as though there were pieces of the current puzzle outright absent from view. Just like Alicia, he too possessed the inspect ability, as afforded to him by his education.

Yet, what he saw when using it was, for lack of a better phrase, uninteresting…

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Species: Cave hob (Dungeon spawn).

Name: unavailable.

Age: unavailable.

Height: two-point-one meters.

Sex: female.

Level: two.

Threat rating: one star.

"Cave Hob: Cave Hobs are a subspecies of monstrous creatures relating to orcs, trolls, and other goblinoid species. Cunning, aggressive, and savage, they, much like their forest-dwelling cousins, are considered a type of leader caste amongst goblin-kind. While considerably rarer than their under-evolved counterparts, they are significantly more threatening in a fight. Oftentimes, they serve as leaders and generals within goblin societies. There have been significant instances of evidence that Hobs are an intelligent people not far removed from the greater races of the Lacunae, though attempts made at communication or diplomacy with such beings often end the same as they might otherwise have in simply drawing one's sword."

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"Nothing special with identity…" Markus affirmed shortly thereafter, reading it and earning himself a strange look from Alicia that vanished a heartbeat later.

"Then we should fight it!" Huebert announced, squaring his shoulders as he stepped into the creature's chamber without apparent concern.

The others followed after him, Lisa pulling out two daggers while their tall and somewhat lanky mage lifted her staff as though in preparation to start hurling spells!

A first-tier monster of such a low level was still rather formidable, but by now, even Huebert could fight Grom one-on-one and stand victorious, for all he'd memorized the monster's antics.

While raw power was important, Grom wasn't actually ‘sapient’ and, thus, never actually deviated from his patterns.

Land a hit, and he roars, attacking with wild abandon until he tires himself out, never making an attempt at deceit or treachery while lacking any real skill in combat beyond his strength of arm.

It made for a somewhat predictable fight, and one that could be exploited if the challenger had a mind for seeking advantage. Yet, before Alicia could unleash the building power of her spell, the monster across from them—waved and called out…

"Hey! You're not seriously gonna just start launching lightning at me without introductions, are yah?"

The group froze, Markus feeling his brows furrow, even as Alicia's spell seemed to fizzle while her staff slumped in her hands, the tension in the room rising to a terrible new height as the reality of something rather distressing wormed its way through his thoughts.

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The boss was talking to them…

Her words flowed with the oddest cadence he'd ever heard… An accent, to be sure, and one that didn't seem entirely tenable…

Instead, her speech oddly arrived with a hint of a nasally, almost thuggish lilt that seemed as alien to him as much as it apparently detested enunciating R's…

"Huebert…" Alicia warned, her tone concerned as it was hesitant.

“Yeah… I know…”

"Fucking tits! Did it just talk to us?" Lisa demanded, not seeming to want to take her eyes away from the aberration waiting on her throne.

"Sure did, not sure why that's so surprising, though… I've talked to all kinds of people I've met, ain't nothin' new…"

"And it's still talking," the rogue continued, now sounding outright terrified. "Is anyone else starting to think we should, oh, I don't know, leave and regroup?"

"Who said anyone can leave?" The hob laughed, shifting to lift herself off her throne and stand to her full height, a hand reaching out to wrap around an oddly shaped club that was seemingly carved by hand.

Its grip was adorned by a strange ‘disc-like’ guard at its shaft that would prevent one's hand from slipping right off while wielding it, its shape thinner at the base before tapering to a thicker and somewhat bulbous and weighted end, all of it strangely polished to a shine.

The creature grinned at them, towering over even Alicia, the hob swinging its weapon in a lazy but full-bodied arc before slipping it across her shoulders to let her arms hang from each end.

The popping strut she closed the distance with was as arrogant as it was amused, the monster stopping at the halfway point to lean forwards and stare down at the shorter adventurers with a crooked grin, "I've got legs for days on all of ya; if you think running's gonna do any good, then you're in for a mean surprise!"

"Ohhh fuck…" Huebert murmured, his head tilting to stare upwards at the seven-foot behemoth that was very much sized as the boss she was replacing, even if she looked a good deal less massive in terms of muscle.

She had muscles, of course, and despite that her figure was much more svelte and toned, there was a definite thickness about her powerful limbs that left no one uncertain as to the might held within her sculpted body.

Though there was much to unpack about this latest debacle, the hob's ‘attire’ was frustratingly distracting.

The hide she'd wrapped around her chest seemed utterly ill-suited for trying to bind the outright lurid and farcical proportions of the creature's enormous bosom while the loincloth below seemed almost purposefully skimpy…

Had he not known better, he too would have thought himself living out some sort of bizarre dream wherein his mind tried to work through some rather strange, not to mention worrisome, subconscious interests towards female monsters.

It was just that jarring!

"Obviously, the situation is getting worse by the moment," Alicia stated, her eyes refusing to peel away from the odd monster that the dungeon had spawned. "But it's still weaker than Grom was! We can take it if we're careful!"

"God's honest truth, that is! Lisa, grease some poisons on those blades and flank it! Alicia, you're on defense for this one! Markus," Huebert shouted, his words finally managing to break the young mage from his stupor. "You're on debilitations! I want this giant lass too dizzy to know up from down. This is the real deal, boys and girls, if we're not careful, we can lose this fight!"

While they didn't always get along and were all relatively young, there had been a reason each of them was offered the position of suppression specialist as they'd been.

Everyone snapped to attention and began doing as their leader suggested, Lisa backing off to start fishing vials and rags from her belt while Alicia retreated, already chanting a barrier construct that settled upon Markus's shoulders like a cold blanket during summer.

He, too, shuffled to shove away their paperwork in his pack before lifting his wand and pointing it at the giant woman who'd cocked her head as though surprised they were attacking her.

Huebert grinned as he cautiously approached the beast's left side, starting to partially circle the hob as if to try and gain her attention to follow.

Had this been Grom, they'd have just started blasting him with spells before their fighter taunted the creature to pull away its aggravation.

However, there was a dark intelligence behind the monster's gaze as it scoffed at the fighter's obvious attempt at getting her to present her exposed back to his comrades.

"What?" The hob asked, her smirk causing Huebert to pause in his approach, the woman instead taking a step towards the mages and causing everyone to scramble in response. "No small talk then? Shame. I sorta wanted to get to know everyone before we just started bashing skulls in! I've got questions, you know!"

So saying, the monster reached down to pick up a large rock, Huebert's eyes growing wide with concern as he rushed at her, only for the massive creature to chortle and dance away with far too much ease and grace than her form would allude to.

Still, the fighter dogged her with militant pressure, advancing with his axe held in a menacing grip, his expression grim with the promise of reprisal should the monster take the time to aim what it had just picked up.

Given the size difference, it was almost comical to watch such a tall woman chased around by a man more than a head shorter. From a certain perspective, however, that wasn't the sense Markus got while he tried to hamper the boss's movements.

Even as he felt his spell sink its hooks into her limbs, there was little more than a momentary flash of surprise on the creature's face, the expression vanishing a heartbeat later ‘without’ any visible changes…

Oh, dear... Well, that wasn't good… not good at all…

"Markus!" the redhead called, his voice equal parts demanding as it was annoyed while he continued to chase after the fleet-footed hob, the girl seemingly forever just out of his reach.

"I—I already cast it! It worked but—it didn't!"

"The fuck does that even mean?" Huebert spat, leaping back as the boss laughed at him, suddenly reversing motion and feinting with a burst of forward movement!

For his part, Markus merely began his incantation again, focusing this time with intense scrutiny as he mentally felt his prior spell construct unravel as he abandoned it, only to feel the familiar sensation connect him as before, though with no observable increase in effect…

"She's resisting it!" Alicia hissed, seeming to sense the problem… "Either that thing has absurdly high endurance, or our dungeon is pissed enough that it made her magical resistance!"

"High endurance, high agility, or magical artifacts," Huebert reiterated, extending the distance between himself and the boss monster as he forcibly calmed his breathing. "Anyone else rethinking this whole plan? Because I can't seem to fucking hit her!"

There was a wet thwack sound like a butcher's cleaver splitting meat, everyone's gaze darting to the dagger that now protruded from the hob's thigh.

The creature looked at it, staring at the haphazard way it was scarcely sticking in her, half ready to simply fall out like a loose tooth, before it looked at the person who'd thrown it with a scowl.

Lisa had but a moment to realize the boss appeared somewhat vexed by the weapon planted in her leg before the hob moved in a blur of motion.

There was a crack!

A roar like the sound of a splitting boulder as the rock she'd been carrying exploded against the cavern wall, but not before it had ricocheted off the rogue's skull, smashing through the magical barrier and cranium to brain the poor woman, who flopped lifelessly backward.

Markus felt the chill of death reach out and lovingly wrap its icy fingers around his heart; words stuck in his throat as he just gaped at Lisa's unmoving body with bulging eyes, his expression like a fish out of water…

"Retreat!" Huebert screamed, already backing away from the monster in their midst, who turned her attention to the burly fighter.

He nearly shouted something else, but whatever it might have been was cut off when the hob dashed at him, moving so quickly that she closed the distance with horrifying speed!

Her club swatted the fighter as he made to dodge, his skill lifting the haft of his axe at blinding speeds to parry, yet the power behind the blow sent him reeling and spinning away as he lost his balance, the hob kicking him in the hip to a shout of agony and a brutal snap of bone!

He flew into a nearby pile of refuse and skeletal structures, shattering the construct and partially burying him under its loose pieces…

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Alicia cried, her eyes wide and horrified as her barrier spell served little better than a thin cape might during a snowstorm.

Her entire body froze up and locked with despair; the strange boss that was tearing her team to shreds simply strolled right up to both of the mages as they stared…

The creature observed them for what felt like several long moments as Huebert wailed and screamed, obscenities and groans of pain emerging by equal measure to the rustling rattle of his attempts to free himself from his predicament.

However, the Hob's calculating gaze swept from first Markus to Alicia, who, in an ill-conceived moment of panic-fueled terror, shot her staff upwards with the start of an incantation, only for her to double over vomiting drool and her lunch as the hob jabbed her in the gut!

From his perspective, the thing they'd been so quick to write off hardly looked to have put any effort into the motion, yet Alicia still dropped to her knees while racking heaves overtook her entire body!

The hob reached down and sunk her long fingers into the other woman's hair, lifting her back up as Alicia screamed in agony! The monster pulled her completely off her feet by her scalp alone…

"You," it snapped, not bothering to glare at Markus to make her point, and instead, eyeing him with an almost bored sidelong glance. "Head over to the fire and disrobe. Put all your belongings in a neat little pile for me and wait like a good boy. Understood?"

"A-and if I—don't?" Markus asked, wanting to slap himself for the comment as his entire body shivered with fear.

"Then, I'm gonna skull fuck you with my bat."

He didn't ‘need’ to be threatened twice…