Meeting Again

I LAY CLARENCE to bed as he falls asleep. I stroked his hair, the grain of tears I had been trying to hold back had gradually formed in the corner of my eyes.

I have tried to throw him out of my head. But he keeps coming every time I looked at Clarence. Allysa was right; he looks like Lawrence.

I shook my head. Why can’t he be removed from my mind? What is wrong? I traveled far for the good of everyone, but why do I feel haunted by the past? Even those sweet good moments we had are now turned into a knife that kills my already broken heart. I smiled bitterly, trying to dig into which part it still hurts.

I shook my head again. I’d still have to live with myself, with the wretched memories swirling around in my head. I will never let myself fall like this again. I need to stand up. And I have to do it for Clarence.

Until a faint knock on my door distracts me from my thoughts. Cindy peeked slowly and walked over to the side of the bed.

She fakes a cough before saying, “I’m sorry for Allysa. You know her mouth is unmerciful,” she muttered lowly.

I shook my head and looked down at the sleeping Clarence. “That’s okay. I can’t deny the fact that he is his son.”

“What are your plans now? Will you introduce him to Lawrence?” Her voice lowered. It seems hard for her to ask that.

“I can’t help it. I’m sure it will happen soon. Especially now that the world is small for the three of us,” I answered and gently stroked Clarence’s hair.

“How about Kyzler’s upcoming baptism? Can you go? The reception will be held at the Saavedra Resort,” she said, seemingly feeling my reaction.

I let out a long sighed. I approached the CD player and played a lullaby song not to disturb Clarence’s sleep.

“I’m sorry, bestie. You know Carrick and Lawrence are cousins,” she told me.

I’m sure the news that we are here in the Philippines will reach Lawrence because of Carrick. My heart felt as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. Now I can hardly control my nervousness, thinking that we will see each other again.

“It’s up to you. After all, it looks like their engagement will happen soon, and they will have a baby too,”

I said bitterly.

Cindy immediately frowned at what I said. At the same time, I was confused by her reaction.

“A child?”

I nodded.

“Holy shit!” she said louder and was followed by a pat on the forehead.

“W-why?” I furrowed my brows at her. I also started to get nervous.

“Elliesse is not pregnant!”

My two shoulders fell because of what she said.

***

“ARE ALL OF Clarence’s things okay, Doris?” I asked the babysitter that mother had taken.

“Everything is ready,” she answered.

“Have you forgotten anything?” I asked her while carrying baby Clarence.

“Nope,” she sparingly answered while carrying the big bag.

We decided to leave the room and go straight to the dining room, where we reached Mom and Dad for coffee.

“Say goodbye to your grandpa and grandma,” I said to Clarence.

“Oh. We will miss this grandson of mine,” Mom said. Then they took the child from me.

“Mommy, it’s just two days,” I said when I saw the grain of tears in her eyes.

“I’m here. Let’s just play,” Daddy joked to Mom.

“Rudolfo, it’s not funny. Your daughter is still here!” Mom exclaimed. She quickly grabbed Dad’s side and pinched him there.

“What’s wrong with what I said? I just said we’re going to play golf. I’m not done yet!” he shaking litany to mom.

Mommy just stared at his answer and handed me baby Clarence. “Oh, he’s fine. You,” she pointed at me, “go ahead, and it’s hard to catch the night on the road!”

“Be careful, hija!” Daddy said goodbye to us as we were escorted outside the house.

After I kissed them on the cheek, I went out to meet the newly arrived Peter.

“Hi!” he greeted.

I was shocked when he kissed me on the side of my lip.

I stand in froze. I never thought he would do that, right in front of my parents.

“Good morning!” he politely greeted my parents before shaking their hands.

“Be careful in driving, son!” Dad ordered him while patting his shoulder.

“Yes, I will take care of them,” Peter answered timidly. Then turned to us to pick up the child.

“Good morning, kiddo!” Peter sweetly said to Clarence. He kissed the child on the cheek, causing him to giggle with delight.

I just smiled and decided to take Doris with my assistant in the car.

We set sail for San Simon. As we got closer and closer, my heart beat faster. I can feel the fear in my chest and an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in my body. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when we get there.

I leaned against the window and watched as the trees in the building and establishment slowly engulfed the trees until I could feel Peter’s palm resting on my hand.

“Are you sure about this? Can we not continue if you are worried?” he asked softly.

I glanced up at him, and he looked at me with his soft and warm eyes. I shook my head and turned my attention back to the window.

“I’m fine,” I answered.

He didn’t speak anymore because he knew I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

It was already afternoon when we arrived at the resort. The large arch that greeted me immediately grabbed my attention.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful! It looks like paradise!” Doris exclaimed. Her face was full of amazement at what she saw.

I smiled. This was also my reaction the first time I stepped on the fine sand of San Simon. The air is sweet, the weather is fine, and the water in the sea glittered invitingly, just like the old times.

“I’ll go check our reservation,” Peter said to us.

I need to stay calm even though I was nervous. Fortunately, Peter has my back, so we immediately set sail for the suite reserved for us.

“I’m just in the other room. If you need anything—” He paused. He does not seem to know how to begin what to say.

I forced a smile on him. “I’m okay, Peter. We’re okay!” I assured him. I know he’s also concerned about what might happen when Lawrence and I meet.

“Okay, just stay here,” he said softly.

Because of his instructions, I chose not to go out of the suite all day. Doris said goodbye to me to go swimming in the sea, which I allowed.

I also barely felt sleepy all night. My heart twisted and sank with nervousness as I lay on my bed. I’ll make sure that everything will be fine tomorrow.

***

FINALLY, THE DAY I’ve dreading is here. We set sail early to the cathedral, and it was expected that the church would be overcrowded.

Kyzler, who will be baptized, is almost confused. Even baby Clarence was not safe from being bitten by guests.

“He’s so adorable!” Julia nodded as she crouched in her arms.