I’m Sorry

“YOU DON’T KNOW what you’re talking about. I can raise my son alone, even without his father.” I decided just to put the cellphone I was holding in the bag and folded my arms next to him.

“Of course you do. But you can never deny the truth that I am his father. Like you, I can also secure his future with you. We could be a happy family together if you wanted to.”

I just shook my head. I can also do that. I can be a father to him. I am not the only one in this fight.

There are many single moms, and I know they can handle it. But I do not close my heart for him. I just wanted to protect my son from all of this shit.

“I’m not stopping you from looking after him. But that’s all I can give you,” I finally said.

“I want to secure my place for my son. I will not allow him to know any father other than me. I want you to take Clarence away from that man soon,” he said in a rough tone.

I shook my head and chuckled lightly. “You don’t even know who I want my son to approach. I still have custody of him. And I’m seeing a good connection between Peter and my son!”

“What is this? Are you sailing on two rivers?!” I felt the pain of what he said. But it hurts more to hear that word from him.

I violently deal with him. My face heats up, jaw clamped tight, and brows knitted in a frown. “Take back what you said! Because I will never do what you say! I owed him that much. He was the only man who cared about me, and I knew he could not hurt me!” I said with my high-pitch voice.

“Just because you owed him that much, you will do it for the sake of your happiness? You’re impossible!” he said in an indignant tone.

He looked at me even darker. He slowly emits a fire between us that causes my knees to crumble so bad.

“Don’t fool yourself, Margaux. Don’t insist on what you shouldn’t! He has the right to know what he is in your life! I know you know you can’t love him!”

I bit my lower lip and gently shed tears at the corner of my eye because of what he said. I am hurting for Peter. Of all the people I will hurt, why Peter? He suffered a lot, not only his whole time but also his heart. If I could just choose him, I would. But no. I can’t.

“Margaux?”

I immediately turned to Peter’s voice calling me. He looked at me with a wide smile on his face, and my heart instantly melts away as I watched him walking towards me. I simply covered my face to dry my tears and smiled at him genuinely. I met him quickly as if nothing had happened between Lawrence and me.

“How are you? You seem to enjoy the show,” I said with my cracked voice.

He didn’t speak at first and glanced at Lawrence, who was right behind me. The two looked at each other for a moment before Peter glanced at me.

“Yup! Clarence really enjoyed what he saw, especially the giraffe.” Peter smiled a bit.

“Hmm, he looks so tired but happy.” I smiled back and pinched his nose lightly.

“I think he’s hungry. Let’s have lunch first,” Peter said to me.

We headed to the nearest restaurant and chose to have lunch with Lawrence, who had been quiet since we left the zoo.

We also just kept quiet while eating. Since Peter is still hugging Clarence, I will inevitably give him food sometimes. It’s okay with me because I don’t see anything wrong with that. But because we were right in front of Lawrence, I could not enjoy the food, especially since I could barely paint his face while watching us.

But the cord of his patience is not that long. When I notice his dark features as he put down his spoon and laid his back against the chair, my heart completely stopped.

“What a beautiful scene. If someone else sees you, you will be mistaken for a couple,” he said with a laced of sarcasm.

“Well, that’s what I notice too. After all, we will soon form a family, not bad either.” Peter said confidently.

Lawrence sarcastically laughed while shaking his head. “Truly? Well, if she’d marry you. I do not object,” he said in a challenging tone.

I cleared my throat, quickly lowering my gaze to what I was eating.

“That’s why I’m telling you now, Saavedra. I want Margaux. If she gives me a chance, I want to marry her as soon as possible.” Peter stated.

At this very moment, I just wanted the ground to be crackly open and swallow me whole. My forehead immediately sweated from the tension enveloping us.

“That’s a great idea. So why don’t you ask her?” He crossed his arms and wait for Peter’s next move.

His face looked so radiant. He’s so sure of himself because he looks like I will read it.

I quickly glanced at Peter, who smiled broadly at Lawrence. Cowardice does not seem to be reflected.

“Peter, you don’t have to do this!” I resisted whatever he intended to tell me.

“I just want to secure my place in your heart, Margaux,” he said softly and gently caressed my cheek.

“You had a place in my heart, Peter. Don’t bother to ask, please,” I utter shakily. I also shook my head down because I know it won’t bother me anymore.

“I gave you my life, and I never take back any return. The love I gave you was my bond, not because I feel chained but because I honor you more than everything I am. Please, marry me, Margaux,” he unconditionally said.

I felt my heart is about to leap out from my body. I could not answer immediately. My mouth dries up and couldn’t withstand any longer. I can’t see if he was hurt, but I can do nothing.

“I-I’m sorry, but I want to focus on my son first.”

Silence lingered for a very long moment. The silence was deafening, as if I did not want to breathe anymore. I slowly looked up at him, and I regret every word I say that it seemed as if this was the end of the road for him.

“I really sorry . . .”

I quickly stood up and took Clarence from him. I didn’t even think about leaving the restaurant and immediately hailed a taxi.

I even heard them calling me, but I ignored them.

***

ALONG THE WAY, tears welled up in my eyes. I never thought that I would be going to reject Peter right in front of Lawrence. It was a big slap in his face. I deeply regretted what I did and turned my back on him despite the hard work he did for Clarence and me.

I did not immediately go straight to the mansion. I prefer to spend time in my condominium first. It would be better for me to avoid him. I do not know how I will face him despite everything.