Chapter Sixteen

The small whispers of doubt flowed through Nova's mind, distracting him from his surroundings. Something Julian noticed as they were walking towards the small ice cream shop. He could see the faraway look in Nova's eyes and he even jumped when Julian took his hand into his.

Nova gave him a shy smile, squeezing his hand. "Sorry."

Julian chuckled, shaking his head, "you don't have to apologize Nova." He titled his head slightly in question. "Is everything okay? You seem a bit," Julian stopped when Nova bumped into someone, laughing softly to himself as the photographer apologized profusely. "Distracted," he finished.

Nova swallowed hard, trying to ignore the whispers in his head. "I'm not distracted."

"Nova," Julian sighed, holding open the door for him as they walked in. "You know that I know you better than that. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" He teased, bumping his hip against Nova's as they walked up to the counter.

Nova rolled his eyes playfully and ignored the question, turning towards the person at the front counter, "one scoop of chocolate ice cream and one scoop of cookie dough please." The worker tried his best to understand his English before he nodded, walking off to get their order.

Julian scrunched his nose up in confusion, "did you order chocolate for yourself?"

Giving him a confused look in return, Nova answered, "yes, why is that weird?"

"Nova, you hate chocolate." Julian let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as the worker came back with a smile. Julian tried to hand her money but Nova gave him a small glare and slapped his hand away gently, handing the worker his own money. "I could've paid for that."

Nova hummed as he handed Julian the small bowl, "you could've. Also I don't hate chocolate, I just don't have it often." He said with a small smile on his lips.

Julian bit the inside of his cheek to try and keep his questions back as Nova looked around for a table for them. What's wrong with him?

"Julian."

Nova's voice broke through his thoughts and Julian looked up to see him already at small table in the corner of the restaurant. It was probably to make sure they wouldn't be noticed by a lot of people. "Coming, sorry." He called out as he weaved through other tables and chairs.

"It's fine," Nova chuckled, shaking his head while sitting down. He started to eat his ice cream, trying not to cringe because in reality he didn't like chocolate and was just to out of it to realize what he had ordered himself.

Julian simply watched as Nova started to zone out with his thoughts again, his eyes going blank with his thinking. He wanted to know what was wrong with him, he needed to know what was wrong with him.

The tapping of Nova's fingers had started in just a few seconds of him being wrapped up in his thoughts. This caused Julian to let his blue eyes flicker down to the familiar tick, reaching across the table to rest his hand over his boyfriend's, causing him to jump.

"Nova," Julian started. "Will you please let me know what's going on? I can tell you're thinking pretty hard about something. You know you can tell me anything right?" Julian finished with a small frown.

Nova swallowed hard and nodded his head quickly, "of course I know that."

"So.." Julian trailed off, wrapping his hand around Nova's smaller one. "Talk to me, what's up?"

The squeeze to his hand caused Nova to look up and meet Julian's kind eyes. "Do you think you'll talk to your management soon about, you know, us?" He blurted out while gripping tighter onto the singers hand.

Julian blinked, a little thrown aback from the question. Recovering quickly, he answered, "Oh, I'm sorry Nova, it completely slipped my mind. With everything that's happened lately."

Nova took his hand back to scratch at his neck, trying not to seem hurt at the fact Julian forgot to ask. Though of course didn't got unnoticed by Julian.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" Julian leaned forward with a worried expression on his face. "Is that why your a little distant tonight?"

He looked away from Julian so he wouldn't have to meet his eyes, but Julian took Nova's silence as his answer. It made his stomach twist in pain.

"It's just," Nova let out a sigh as he rubbed his hands over his arms. "I don't see what the big deal is for you to come out." He finally looked back to Julian, hating the sadness he was seeing in his eyes. "If your fan base supports you on everything and they're really nice, then I don't see the reason why you can't come out?"

Julian rubbed a hand across his jaw, "Nova, don't you think I know how supportive my fans are of me?" He looked back to Nova after a shake of his head. "They're not the problem."

"I know your management is worried about the idea of your sales going down, but if your fans are this nice then I don't see the problem." Nova insisted, holding his hands together, his fingers tightly laced with each others. "I'm just tired of hiding Julian.."

"I know you are," Julian said softly, wanting to reach across for Nova's hand to hold.

"I haven't ever been afraid to be who I was, even when I may have gotten bullied for it," Nova inhaled shakily at the memories. "I have always been proud of who I am."

Julian listened with a heavy heart, hating to know Nova use to get bullied as well after all he went through with Jack.

"Are you just ashamed of being gay?" Nova bit on his bottom lip watching as Julian flinched back into his seat at his words. "Is that what this whole thing is, are you ashamed of-"

"Stop, don't say what I think your going too Nova." Julian's tone was serious as he looked right back at him.

"Are you ashamed of me." Nova whispered the words anyways with a tiny prick to his heart.

"Of course I'm not ashamed of you Nova." Julian answered automatically, as if he was disgusted by the very idea, and he was. "I'm not ashamed to be gay either, it's just a big thing for a celebrity to come out. My label is terrified of any backlash I may get, you know they just care about the money I'll loose."

Nova nodded slowly, slowly unfolding his stiff fingers. "Can you please just try to talk to them? I would feel better if you at least tried."

Julian thought of maybe going to Mark for advice on this first before going straight to his label. If there was anyone who would be able to help him with this it would be Mark. "Of course I'll try."

Nova guessed that was all he could hope for at this point. "Thank you."

They spent the rest of their time in silence, both thinking to themselves about different things. Julian about what he was going to do if his label didn't want him to come out still. Nova still trying to get rid of the doubt in his mind of whether Julian loved him or not.

When they left walking side by side, Julian broke the silence. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't worth talking about Nova."

Nova looked up from the ground to Julian, "I guess I just felt like it wouldn't be so long to wait for you to come out with it." He finally let his hand fall into Julian's, who gratefully held it back, lacing his fingers securely through Nova's.

"I still feel awful for ever putting a doubt in your mind that I was ashamed of being with you. I love you so much, you know that right?" Julian squeezed his hand and it made Nova smile softly to himself.

"Yeah I know." Nova heard a clearing of a throat and looked up at Julian who had a small pout on his lips. Holding back a giggle, Nova raised an eyebrow. "Yes? Something wrong?"

"You know I love you?" Julian started swinging their joined hands together between them.

Nova laughed softly, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "I love you Julian."

Julian grinned, dropping Nova's hand and wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's shoulder, pulling him into his side.

"You better."

*******

After they got back to the hotel Julian said he wanted to go to Mark about everything. Nova just agreed with his words and went back to their room with a bit of happier feeling inside him, hoping that this would get rid of his lingering doubt.

This is what brought Julian to stand in front of Mark's door, pacing a little, shaking the nerves out of his hands. "Come on Julian this won't be that hard," he mumbled to himself. "Stop psyching yourself out of this, it's for Nova."

The door opened suddenly causing Julian to yelp in surprise and step back to see Mark standing in front of him. His arms were crossed over his chest, his eyebrow cocked up in interest.

"You act like I haven't heard you the past five minutes, giving yourself a pep talk."

"So you just let me do it for five minutes." Julian sent his own look back to Mark.

"I didn't think it would take you that long to build up the courage to knock." Mark gestured for Julian to follow him into his room. "You know you don't ever have to be nervous about talking to me about anything."

Julian followed him in and gulped, shrugging his shoulders. "I know, I just don't know how to word the situation."

Mark leaned back against the small kitchen island in the room, looking over Julian with a scrutinizing gaze. Then it dawned on him, "you want to come out don't you?"

"Am I that easy to read?" Julian threw his hands up with a groan of frustration, running his fingers through his hair.

Mark snorted, "when I've known you for as long as I have Julian, you tend to be able to read the person pretty well. Now, sit down. I think this might be a long conversation."

Julian bit the inside of his cheek but didn't argue against him, moving towards the small love seat. He let himself sink down into the plush chair, trying to get himself to relax. He didn't know if this conversation would end good or bad.

Mark sat down across from him and let out a sigh at seeing Julian still anxious to talk. "Look, I'll talk for a bit and you can just listen okay?"

Julian gave him a confused look but nodded at his words.

"Okay, so I know having to keep your sexuality a secret has probably hurt you for a long time. While I know you're happy to have Layla as a friend, I know it also annoys you to have to fake being with her because it keeps her from finding someone who actually wants her. Am I right so far?" Mark stopped to wait for Julian's nod as he continued.

"I know ever since Nova came into the picture it's only made you want to come out more because you really love and care for him. You don't want to hurt him with having to hide him away from the public eye so your secret is kept, but also hated rubbing Layla in his face when he was forced to go out with you two to take pictures of you both."

"Yeah," Julian finally managed to say out loud while resting his hand on his knees.

"With the whole Jack situation going on it probably just makes you want to come out so you can finally get rid of him since he won't have anything to blackmail you with anymore."

To be truthful, Julian didn't even think of that with the possibility of him coming out.

"Nova is probably starting to get upset with being hidden right?" Mark asked while keeping his focus on Julian.

Julian nodded, finally feeling up to talking. "Yes, he's really upset, and I don't want him to feel like I'm ashamed to be with him." Nova's hurt face coming back to his mind, making his heart squeeze in pain from the memory. "I don't know why I have to keep this going anyways."

Mark murmured his agreement before speaking louder, "I don't know why they want you to keep it up still either. I'm more than sure your fans will still support you if you came out as gay."

"Exactly, so I need your help in talking with the label about me coming out. This isn't only for Nova but also for me." Julian said determined, his eyes narrowed in concentration. "I've had to hide a big part of me for years now and it's not fair to me."

"It isn't," Mark agreed again before standing up, holding his arms open. "Come here kid." Julian smiled to himself, getting up and instantly walking into Mark's arms, hugging him tightly. Mark has been pretty much Julian's dad through his whole career.

Mark lifted a hand and ruffled up the singers hair affectionately, the way a parent would with their child. "I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're okay."

Julian closed his eyes as he let his face fall against Mark's shoulder as he mumbled, "thank you."

*****

Nova rested his chin on his hand as he stared out the window, ignoring the direction's Mark was giving to Julian. He felt a little better after yesterday's talk with Julian, but he still had the thoughts running through his mind, the doubt.

Feeling a burning pair of eyes on his face, Nova turned to find Jack's eyes staring at him. Nova quickly looked away from him but could still see the blondes little smirk from the corner of his eyes. He knew things were still kind of new in his friendship with Jack, but there will still some things Nova's was hesitant on when it came to trusting Jack.

"Nova, ready?"

Nova snapped out of his thoughts and looked to Julian, giving him a smile. "Yeah, sorry." Julian gave him a worried look which Nova made him brush off when he kissed his cheek lightly. "Come on."

Julian tried to hide his blush from the small bit of affection as he got out of the car, grinning and waving at the crowd of fans on either side of the barrier.

Nova and the rest of the team trailed behind him, and some fans even shouted his name which caused him to give a little awkward wave to them. Julian saw this from his peripheral vision and it caused his smile to grow wider as they all walked into the building.

As usual, Nova was sent out to the audience with Nate. Thankfully Jack had to stay behind to help Cassie with the outfit and makeup for Julian.

Nate made sure to keep fans back a decent amount from Nova, but most of them seem to have remembered when Nova passed out in a crowd and did their best to not overwhelm him. Which only made Nova more than sure that Julian's fan wouldn't mind them being together.

The interviewer of course spoke Italian so Nova didn't really understand most of what he was saying, but he could manage to make out Julian's name in his words.

Everyone in the audience clapped and some screamed Julian's name as he walked out on stage with is guitar strapped across his chest. Sitting down on the stool provided for him, Julian gave a little wave to the audience as he leaned into the microphone to speak.

"Ciao, come stai?." His fluent Italian came through the speakers. Nova guessed it was yet another language Julian had taught himself to speak after his many tours around the world.

With the numerous answers from his fans Julian just laughed and began singing, but in English, so there were Italian subtitles on the overhead screen.

Guess he's not that fluent. Nova thought with a little surprise, then let himself get lost in Julian's voice as he always did.

"Come with me, my love. To the sea, the sea of love."

Julian let his eyes search the audience before connecting with Nova's when he found him. Feeling a warmth spread through his chest at the sight of Nova's bright and adoration filled eyes.

"I want to tell you, how much I love you." Julian watched as Nova got a soft smile on his face as he continued to sing. "Do you remember when we met? That's the time, I knew you were my pet."

"Nova, shouldn't you be recording." Nova jumped and looked on his left side to see Jack was now sitting with them.

Nova nodded quickly and switched on his camera, bringing up the lens to his eye to make sure the camera was focused on Julian as it recorded his singing.

"Did you talk to him yet?" Jack whispered into his ear leaning closer to Nova.

"Yes," Nova tried not to let Jack distract him too much from recording.

"What did he say?" Jack's tone was curious, but at the same time he was just trying to get the photographer to look at him.

"Can we talk about this later?," Nova whispered back giving Jack a small glance before looking back to Julian who was just finishing his song up.

Nate leaned over to break into the two's conversation, much to Jack's annoyance. "Nova, Mark said you didn't have to record the interview if you didn't want too. Would you like to go back stage again?"

Nova adjusted the ear plugs more in his ears as the screams of the fans grew a bit louder, he just nodded his head and followed Nate out of the audience, giving shy smiles to fans who noticed him. Once getting back stage, he let out a huge breath of relief, reaching up and taking out his ear plugs.

"Feeling better?"

Nova jumped and turned around to find a smiling Jack walking up to him. "Yeah, I'm fine," Nova mumbled softly.

Jack nodded his head, before raising a thin blonde eyebrow in question. "Is it okay to talk now?"

Wanting to just get the questions over with, Nova nodded his head. "Yeah sure." He started to walk towards Julian's dressing room, Jack following close behind him.

Nova turned around once they were in and bit on his bottom lip, crossing his arms over his chest. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to know how your talk with Julian went," Jack said simply with a small shrug.

"It went fine." Nova shrugged his shoulders back, confused as to why Jack was interested. "Julian said he would talk to his management about it. He's pretty sure his fans wouldn't give him backlash if he came out, mostly his label is worried about his sales when it comes to him coming out." Nova rolled his eyes at the ridiculous thought. "It's stupid to think that a gay artist couldn't get good sales."

"Agreed, it's pretty despicable." Jack shook his head, letting out a long sigh. "What are you going to do if they say no?" He tilted his head while taking a step closer to Nova. "I mean, if they don't let him come out soon are you willing to stay hidden for even longer?"

"They'll say yes," Nova answered automatically. He didn't want to think about them saying no, he was trying his best to erase those lingering thoughts. "I'm sure they would understand that he's hid for a few years now and that it's time to come out."

"Nova, you know I'm just looking out for you right?" Jack spoke with a light frown on his face, resting his hand on Nova's shoulder. "After the pain I put you through, you deserve so much better."

"Nova?"

Nova looked up to see Cassie's concerned grey eyes looking between the two. her face scrunching in suspicion. "Everything okay?"

Jack immediately just let his hand drop from Nova's shoulder, stuffing his hands in his pockets as Nova spoke up. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Cassie nodded slowly but was still hesitant about leaving. "Oh Jack," her face lit up like she just remembered something. "Mark told me he wanted to talk to you about outfits for the next photo shoot?"

Jack gave Cassie an award winning smile, but she didn't really let herself fall for it. She had been told by Mark to keep an eye on him. "I'll go see him them." He walked towards the door and stopped to turn his head, to look at Nova. "I'll talk to you later Nova."

Nova just fiddled with his fingers, mumbling, "yeah, see you later."

Cassie waited till she was sure Jack was out of ear shot before turning to Nova. "What happened? Did he say anything bad to you because I can talk to," Her talking of course got faster as she went on and Nova smiled to himself because of it.

"Cassie it's okay." Nova assured her holding his hands up. "It was nothing, he just wanted to talk."

"About," Cassie pressed on for more information.

Nova let out a sigh and just plopped down on the small sofa in the room, rubbing both his knees with his hands. "Julian wants to talk to his label about coming out, Jack was just asking what I would do if they said no. He was worried about me having to hide mine and Julian's relationship longer, because it would really hurt me to keep acting like we aren't together."

Cassie listened carefully and shook her head once he was finished. "I don't know if I would fully trust Jack with anything he says. Also, if Julian really wants something, he'll fight for it, especially when it comes to people he loves."

Nova felt warmth in his chest at her words. "He does?"

"Of course, he's a very passionate person if you haven't noticed," Cassie giggled softly with a wide grin on her face. "He's never had so much love in his eyes before. When he looks at you it's like he's looking at the most amazing thing in the world. He'll automatically pay attention to you if you ever speak, like whatever you'll say will be super interesting." Cassie sighed dreamily. "It's so cute how much he loves you."

Nova laughed softly at the look on her face, "thanks Cassie. That actually makes me feel a bit better."

Cassie gave him a happy smile, "glad to help." She waved her hand while saying, "don't worry about the label rejecting Julian to come out, they won't be that cruel I'm sure."

Nova could only hope her words were true.

"Novaaa."

Hearing Julian's sing-song tone calling his name made him feel even better. When he walked into the room, Julian didn't hesitate to walk right over and fall into Nova's lap.

Nova grunted softly and shook his head, with an amused look on his face. "Perfect way to greet your boyfriend, squishing him to death." He teased wrapping his arms around Julian's waist.

Julian glared playfully at him, "calling me fat?"

Nova rolled his eyes and Julian poked his cheek, making a slow smile spread on his lips. "Yes can I help you?"

"I love you." Was all Julian said with a matching smile.

"I love you." Nova said softly and smiled even more as Julian pressed a kiss to his lips.

Even if management says no, Nova's sure he could stick it out for a bit longer. He's never felt so happy in his life than with Julian.

Nova watched Julian as he just spoke with Cassie after their kiss, still sitting on his lap. Thinking to himself about having to wait longer.

He's worth fighting for.

I know, it's been a very long time, and I apologize profusely for making everyone wait months. I've had the crappiest year of college. I lost someone very close to me and it caused me to loose an interest in even writing anything, especially this since they loved photography. Hopefully you guys like this chapter, and aren't too upset with me. Though I understand if you are. I will try to be better with updates after this, I feel a bit better about things now. I take it day by day.

Thank you all for being so incredibly patient - Jocelyn

(P.S hope you like the new cover as well!! Also I apologize if the translated Italian is wrong)