Chapter Seven

Nova woke up with Cassie leaning over him, a rag in her hand.

She smiled and said, "good, you're awake."

He slowly sat up as Cassie leaned back from him and rubbed the side of his head. "How long was I passed out for?"

Cassie was a little surprised that he didn't seem to be shocked he passed it out but shook off the feeling quickly. "Only an hour or so."

Nova then got worried. "I didn't ruin Julian's show did I?" "Did I embarrass him?" His mind started racing with tons of thoughts of how he might of caused a bad image for Julian.

Cassie frowned and grabbed his hands away from his head, holding his wrists gently in her hands. "Hey, hey, take a deep breath. We don't need you working yourself up again okay sweetie?," she said calmly. Cassie wanted to make sure he knew everything was okay.

It was Julian that had told her as he carried the smaller boy in and laid him down on the couch. He was quite panicked and talked even faster than Cassie herself. And she was a very fast talker.

"Julian breathe, breathe honey," Cassie said resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "What happened?"

"I noticed on the drive here that Nova was starting to fidget and seemed out of it. He was zoning out a lot and I had to get his attention to get out of the car when we first got here."

Julian took a deep break to calm himself before continuing.

"I thought it had something to do with his anxiety and I was going to talk to Mark about him not going out this time but got pulled away before I could." He a ran a hand through his hair glancing at Nova who was breathing normally but still unconscious.

"He was standing in the sea of the crowd and I saw him start to sway, and he just passed out." "I think it was him having a panic attack and it made him faint."

Cassie had gotten a cold rag and was gently wiping it across Nova's forehead as Julian was speaking.

"Poor boy," Cassie said frowning and looked up at Julian. "Are you going back out there to perform?"

"So after a major ten minute, practically screaming, match between Mark and Julian, Mark agreed that he would only have to play half his set instead of the full one."

Nova bit on his bottom lip, feeling bad that he made Julian and Mark fight about him. But when he looked up at Cassie all he said was, "where are my glasses?"

She blinked, expecting something else to come from his mouth.

"Oh, right over here," Cassie walked over to her makeup table and picked them up walking back over to Nova. She figured it wasn't a very good idea to push someone who just passed out from anxiety about how they were really feeling.

Nova had just pushed them up the bridge of his nose when the door burst open making him jump and turn to the noise with wide eyes.

Julian was standing there, his face creased with worry. When he saw Nova awake he quickly rushed over and pulled the boy up into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry," Julian breathed into Nova's ear making a shiver go down his spine.

Nova shook it off hugging Julian back in surprise. "It's okay, I'm fine," he whispered quietly.

Julian pulled back and shook his head, "don't lie Nova." He hugged him again tighter.

He hugged him the same and just held onto the back of his shirt. Nova found himself calm, but also felt his heart racing, and hoped Julian didn't feel it hammering against his chest.

There was a clear of a throat and both boys pulled away quickly feeling embarrassed.

Cassie just smiled at the two of them and let out a small laugh. "Well, it's good to see you two are getting closer. It's no fun with just us older people on the road huh Julian?"

Julian quickly recovered from earlier saying, "Cassie, you're only twenty five." "I'm not that much younger than you."

Nova just stood there listening to their banter still feeling a bit out of it from earlier when Mark walked in.

He looked over at Nova and let out a relieved sigh. "I'm glad you're okay, but you should've told me sooner that you weren't feeling okay Nova. I wouldn't have sent you out into a crowd full of screaming people if I knew you were close to having a panic attack."

Nova's fingers fidgeted and he looked down shrugging his shoulders. "Sorry," he automatically apologized. "I didn't want to inconvenience anyone." "I'm here to do a job. I can't just bail out on it because of something as dumb as my anxiety."

Julian frowned deeply and opened his mouth to speak but Mark beat him to it.

"Nova, having an anxiety disorder isn't stupid or a burden for us." "I was aware of your disorder before I hired you after calling your parents."

Nova stiffened up slightly looking up from the floor at Mark with surprise, and widened his eyes. "A-And you still hired me?"

Mark frowned this time and nodded his head, tilting it in confusion. "Of course I did. You're photos were the best out of all the candidates." "I wasn't going to just not hire you because of your disorder, that would be incredibly wrong of me to do."

This took Nova by surprise. In the past he had been fired or not even hired for jobs because of his anxiety disorder. The employers usually giving the excuse of his disorder would surely affect his work and that they wouldn't have time to deal with his personal problems if he got worked up.

"You didn't run out of your medication did you?," Mark asked gruffly, snapping Nova out of his thoughts.

"Uh no, no I have some." He pushed his hair out his eyes absentmindedly. "I just didn't take any when I got off the plane."

"I should've reminded you like always," Julian mumbled under his breath, but Nova had heard him and turned towards him.

He shook his head saying, "you had others things on your mind, seriously Julian, it's okay."

Mark looked between the two and said, "lets just get to the hotel and everyone can relax and maybe go to the pool."

Julian grinned, instantly feeling happy. He loved the relaxing feel of the water and was more than sure it would help Nova feel better.

"Nova you don't have to come with us if you want to just go back to your room and rest." Mark assured him.

Nova nodded his head but gave an easy smile. "It's okay, I think swimming will clear my head."

***

Nova had felt much better after getting back to the hotel and taking his medicine.

Julian, Cassie, Mark, and finally Nova, were all at the pool. Cassie and Mark just sitting on the chairs chatting with each other, Julian and Nova messing around with each other in the pool.

Nova laughed and splashed some water in Julian's face.

"You seem to feel better," Julian said glaring at him playfully.

Nova giggled softly holding hand over his mouth to hide it. He got a bit embarrassed whenever he giggled, it making him feel like a girl.

Julian however couldn't help himself from smiling, "you're so cute."

Nova looked at him and gave a shy smile, saying quietly, "thanks."

He chuckled deeply making Nova's heart perform another somersault at the sound of it.

Julian looked up from the water and found himself just staring at Nova, more importantly, he found himself staring at Nova's mouth.

Nova knew where he was looking and felt his cheeks heat up and he bit on his bottom lip, watching as Julian's eyes darkened.

When Julian leaned in closer towards Nova he felt his breath catch in his throat. And he found himself braving a look at Julian's lips as well. Nova suddenly felt the urge, no the need, to kiss Julian.

Just as their lips were about to brush against each others

"Julian!"

The boys broke out of their trance. Jerking back from each other quickly.

Julian looked over at Cassie who was smiling and waving him over to tell him something.

He glanced back at Nova who was trying to calm his heart that was beating a million miles a second.

Biting his lip, Julian leaned down and whispered to Nova, "we'll talk later okay?"

He figured after almost kissing the other boy, Nova would surely have questions about why they had almost kissed.

"Coming," Julian said swimming over and grabbing onto the edge, pulling himself out of the pool to go talk to her.

Nova had stood there completely still for a second, his mind racing. Was Julian gay? Was he bisexual? But he had a girlfriend, it would be wrong for him to kiss Nova anyways.

But he wanted the kiss to happen too, very badly.

It was almost an hour later and now everyone was back in there rooms. Nova was sitting on the couch going through his camera to look through his recent shots and was deleting the ones that weren't so good when he heard the door open behind him.

He looked up to see Julian standing there in a pair of boxers and a plain t-shirt. Nova bit on his bottom lip lightly, figuring it was time for them to talk about what happened.

"Hi," Julian said plainly, still standing in the doorway.

"Hi."

Both boys watch each other for a few seconds before Nova spoke. "Do you wanna come sit or are you just gonna hover there."

Julian chuckled lightly and walked over to the couch, plopping down next to Nova and gave him a nervous smile. "So I'm guessing you probably have uh, questions about earlier?," he asked rubbing the back of his neck.

Nova shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head a bit. "I mean, there's only one question that I can ask right?"

Nodding his head Julian smiled shyly. "Yeah, guess you're right."

"So you're gay?"

Nova had a feeling he was right, so he didn't need to ask if Julian was gay or not.

Julian wasn't ashamed of it, so he said confidently, "yes, I am."

"So why do you have a girlfriend?," Nova asked scrunching up his face, confused.

Julian went into the long explanation of how his record label feared that if he came out as gay he would loose a lot of his female fan base.

"Why the girlfriend though? Wouldn't you get even more sales by being single?," Nova asked still confused about why he didn't do that. It made much more sense.

"I've said that multiple times but they insist having a girlfriend would be better." Julian let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair, glancing at Nova.

Nova felt really bad for Julian, he would hate having to fake being with someone, along with having to hide something very important about himself.

"Does the girl you're dating know your gay?"

Julian nodded his head, "mhm, she knows our arrangement so to speak."

The photographer got a frown on his face and shook his head. "That's ridiculous." "They think just because you're gay you can't get good sales?" Nova rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest in a little huff.

"And they wonder why we fight for more rights." Nova curled his shaky hands into fists, getting a bit worked over everything.

This caused Julian to lean towards him and take Nova's hands in his own and squeezed them gently. "Hey, hey, Nova look at me."

Nova did what he asked and stared into Julian's dark blue eyes, feeling a wave of calm go through his system, and he let out a breath of relief.

"Thank you," he murmured, realizing after a second that Julian hadn't let go of his hands. He slowly felt the other boy intertwine their fingers together.

"Your welcome," Julian answered softly.

Just like earlier he started to stare at Nova's mouth, and again, Nova felt blush creep up his face.

"So, why did you try to kiss me?," Nova asked quietly. The answer was obvious to anyone, but Nova didn't really think it could be possible for someone to feel that way for him.

Julian shook his head giving the smaller boy an easy smile. "Isn't it obvious?"

Nova shook his head, being oblivious.

Letting out a deep chuckle that sent shivers down Nova's spine, Julian gently lifted a hand and set it on his cheek.

Julian rubbed his thumb softly over Nova's cheek. "Nova, I like you, probably way more than I should." There, he finally said it. It felt like a weight lifted from his chest.

He wasn't only admitting his feelings for Nova to him, but also to himself. Julian watched Nova's reaction to his words though, watching as his eyes widened a bit.

"M-Me?," he stuttered in disbelief.

Julian looked around and said in an amused tone, "do you see anyone else in here?" "Of course you. How could I not?"

Nova immediately launched in a big ramble. "How? I mean, I'm a big all of anxiety, I'm not that attractive, I- "

Cutting him off, Julian pressed his lips against Nova's softly, still cupping the side of his face.

Nova's breath hitched against the other boy's lips, feeling like everything had slowed down around him. It took him a second, but he eventually closed his eyes and melted into Julian, resting his hands gently on his chest.

Julian felt ecstatic. He was kissing Nova! Julian was kissing Nova and he was kissing him back!

He wasn't going to overwhelm Nova anymore so he didn't pull the kiss any deeper, and slowly pulled back, opening his eyes. Julian looked at Nova who hadn't opened his eyes yet and bit on his own bottom lip, waiting.

Slowly Nova opened his eyes, his big hazel green eyes shining bright making Julian want to kiss him all over him again.

Nova on the other hand was feeling a whole range of emotions. Most of them being good. He couldn't speak because he was just trying to calm his heart down, it basically hammering in his chest.

"Nova?"

He looked up to see Julian watching him with worry. Julian hoped he didn't cross a line with him.

"Are you okay? I didn't push you did I? I'm really sorry," Julian said in whole ramble.

Nova couldn't help but think how adorable he was being, not even listening to his rambling. "Julian," he interrupted.

Julian stopped and looked at him. "Yes?"

Nova smiled shyly and said softly, "can you kiss me again?"

Julian never thought he'd like someone more in that moment. "Yeah." He placed both of his hands on either side of Nova's face and leaned in, closing his eyes and pressing his lips softly to his.

Nova wrapped his arms around Julian's waist and felt what he always felt around Julian.

Calm