Chapter 23

Nathaniel

It is now my first time meeting Tobias out of the incubator . He got out this morning but I was at work . So, only Summer and the others got to hold him . A little jealous that I wasn't the first but who cares? I'm gonna be holding this guy for the rest of his baby and toddler years.

I grin down at Lucas, holding our precious baby in his arms . The fact that he even went out of his way to name him after my father makes me smile even wider, I feel like I'm gonna explode with happiness right now .

" Nathan, do you want to hold him?" He smiles up at me widely . I nod my head eagerly .

I sit by him on the bed, facing him . He's sitting on the bed with pillows surrounding him . He has Tobias in his arms, who has his eyes wide open and sucking on his pacifier .

Lucas carefully hands me the little guy . He's swaddled in a blue blanket . I hold him gently against my chest .He squirms a little, getting himself comfortable in my arms . Suddenly out of nowhere, he begins to cry . My heart quickens and my eyes snap to Lucas in panic mode .

" It's okay!" Lucas laughs out softly " Rock him a little, that will help ." Lucas suggest.

" Hey little Toby, it's okay . Dad is here ." I whisper, rocking him in my arms . He slowly stops fussing and quietly his eyes stare up at nothing in the ceiling .

" See, easy peasy ." Lucas says, before we could talk even more . A nurse walks in the room .

I decide to take the chair at the far corner of the room . So the nurse can tend to Lucas without any distractions . I lay Toby over my chest, supporting his back with one hand and stroking his head full of silky brown hair with the other.

It is so scary holding a baby for the first time.  Toby is so small in my arms, so fragile and I feel like with every move, if I'm not careful, I might break him or something . However, as small as he is, there's some heaviness in holding someone who's part of you . The heaviness comes from the fact that, no matter what I do, I will always be tied to this little human being in my arms . He will always be part of me and Lucas . There's no way of running away from this . This means forever .

" Didn't you say Wylder came with you?" Lucas inquires when the nurse is done checking up on him .

" Oh shit!" I mutter . I totally forgot about Wylder.

" Nathan!" Lucas cries out from the bed . I look at him , raising my brows in confusion at his flushed cheeks .

" You aren't supposed to curse when the baby's around!" He points out . My eyes immediately go wide and I apologize to him, and our little guy . I don't want Toby's first word to be 'shit' , hell no .

" Let me ..." I point over the phone on my other hand . Lucas gives me a go ahead . I call Wylder up from the waiting room .

A few minutes later, Wylder strolls in the room . Holding a huge brown teddy bear and flowers . " This is for the ...mom?" Wylder shoots a look at Lucas . Who already wishes he could disappear .

I don't blame him . Wylder is a very straightforward person . If he doesn't understand something, he plainly asks without shame . That's who he is . Even things that should make him uncomfortable don't.

" Thanks Wylder. " Lucas mumbles, knowing dang well that if he tries to correct Wylder.  He will shoot him with more uncomfortable questions .

" Welcome...Soooo" Wylder rubs his hands together. Eying Tobias in my arms . " Let's meet Tobias the second!"He reaches for Tobias the minute he takes a seat beside me .

I gently place the baby in his arms . It takes Wylder 5 minutes to get it right because he keeps putting out his arms in the wrong way . " Aww isn't he scary? Looks like an old wrig-"

" Wylder!" I cut him off . Smirking a little when Lucas facepalms from the bed . " You are not supposed to be-"

" Too honest?" Wylder says, grinning down at the sleepy Tobias  . " Got it . Though I must say, he has your eyes . Actually, he looks more like you than ...yeah Lucas ." He continues to scrutinize the baby , who doesn't seem to care .

" He's cute, he's got Lucas's little nose , aww!" Wylder coos when Tobias yawns , making small baby noises .

" Yeah . That's your godson right there!" Lucas beckons from across the room . Wylder's eyes immediately light up .

" You mean, to tell me that this handsome little guy here is my godson?" Wylder beams when I nod to him . " Oh God, I ...I can't believe this . Oh Tobias, I'm your godfather!" Wylder turns to Tobias . By the looks of it , he's fast asleep . Nevertheless Wylder still talks to him like he's still awake .

***

It has been a week since Tobias was born. Finally, the doctor discharged him and Lucas . Now I'm taking them both, to our new home actually . A surprise for Lucas.  We have been looking into houses before he gave birth . One house caught his eyes but we never really made an official buy on it, until three days ago while he was in the hospital.  I bought it for all of us .

" You know you can go faster than that!" Lucas giggles at the back of the seat . He's beside the sleeping Tobias who's in his car seat and safely strapped in .

" Nope, it's better this way . " I say, ignoring the angry car honks I get occasionally from the people behind me  ." Besides, bringing you and our beautiful Tobias home safely is my priority " I smile, peeking over the review mirror .

I spot Lucas blushing shamelessly, meeting my eyes briefly before looking away. Holding on to the blanket around himself tightly. Somehow he's feeling cold even though the heater is on .

" I like this . I hope things will stay this way forever ." He says after a long peaceful pause . I nod slightly at his way . Understanding what he means without having to say anything .

***

" We are here !" I turn to Lucas in the back . His wide eyes look from me to the house in front of us with his mouth hanging open .

" What's this?" He cries out a little in joy , tears trickling down his face when I say ' it's our new home' .

Since he's still in shock, I got out of the car . Help him get out too using a wheelchair he's gonna be using for a while . I also grab the car seat . Lucas wheels himself through the front door . The house has a ramp and a few stairs beside it.

I follow behind, watching Lucas sobbing over everything . Saying how beautiful everything is . It is an emotional moment for me too . Seeing his tearful happy face, looking over me occasionally with a huge smile on his face .

The second he sees the nursery upstairs across from our bedroom, he starts to bawl. The proud smile he flashes my way before he enters the nursery takes my breath away, not because he has such a beautiful smile but because he's happy with what he sees . I was a bit nervous when I decided to decorate the nursery . I asked a lot of people for opinions, including Summer and Josh .

" It's... it's beautiful!" Lucas says with a shaky voice.

The nursery is pale blue, on either side of the room there's a white little crib with blue sailboat quilts . There's also mobiles that imitate soft waves with boats in them above the crib. In the corner, there's a bookshelf filled with children's books , picked by me, most of them are my favourites while growing up, I have left a little space for Lucas so he can add any childhood books he liked too. A few feet across from the crib, there's also a rocking chair .

" I hope you like it ." I nervously walk over the crib, looking down at the quilts, on top of them there are various kinds of toys .

I couldn't decide what Tobias would like . I went with every toy in the store . By the time I left the store, I bet the people working there thought I was insane .

" I freaking love it!" Lucas mutters, letting a small laugh when I fist pump the air .

***