104. You're my mate

I watch as Sebastian stands up and leaves our table. His eyes on Mayra and the man. They had not noticed us yet. Sebastian goes to them and taps Mayra’s shoulders. She turns around.

At first she was frowning but she saw who it was and that frown turned into a big smile. She lets go of the man’s hand and hugs Sebastian.

Seeing all that I needed to see I pull my gaze away from them. It’s like the moment he noticed her he forgot about me. He may say that I am the one he wants but he will always be pulled towards her. Just like Darren was pulled towards Miranda.

The good thing is that we hadn’t ordered. It would have been a shame to waste the food. I take a deep breath and compose myself. Then I pick up my purse and stand up. I wasn’t about to waste another second here. If Sebastian wanted he could join her for dinner for all I cared.

Turning from the table, I bump into someone. I was about to fall but he catches me. I catch a whiff of his scent and I know it’s Sebastian.

“Careful” he says, steading me.

“Thanks” I give him a polite smile as a hand offers me my purse, which I’m guessing had fallen down.

I follow the outstretched arm to find Mayra and the man standing behind Sebastian.

“Thank you” I tell him and take my purse from him.

Was anyone else feeling awkward or was it just me?

I just wanted to leave. Get home and eat a bucket of ice cream while having a pity party. It would have been wine, but we know I can’t. Then cry my eyes out to a sad movie. Sleep and then wake up the next day stronger.

Sebastian’s eyes search mine but I avert them. I didn’t want him bearing witness to my pain.

“I know this has been a long time coming, Mayra so I want you to officially meet my mate, Lauren” he says, circling my waist and bringing me close to him.

I expected to see some type of negative emotion in her eyes but there is none. Her eyes lighten up, looking at me. And she looks at me like I have hung the moon.

Before any of us can do anything, she throws herself at me, almost making both of us fall.

I’m in shock.

“Oh goddess, I finally met you…Thank you so much. You have no idea the extent of what you did for me. I’ll forever be grateful” she sobs This entire thing brings tears to my eyes. Cursed pregnancy hormones.

I hug her back. Remembering what she went through. And accepting that none of the things that happened after is her fault or that of Sebastian. No one was to blame and no one saw it coming.

We release each other after a while.

“Hey Mayra” I tell her softly with a smile.

I couldn't hate her nor could I hate Sebastian. Unlike with the case of Darren and Miranda, Mayra was actually a good person.

I wouldn’t blame Sebastian if he fell for her, but I’d rather he not lead me on if he thinks that there is any chance of them getting together in future.

“Hey Lauren…Despite wanting to just stay here with you and talk, that wouldn’t be ideal because you’re on a date, so can we meet up?” she says the last part slowly. As if she was afraid that I would turn her down.

I smile at her. “I would love that…do you have a phone, we can exchange numbers and you can tell me when and where you want us to talk”

Her entire face glows when I accept her invite and it’s amazing looking at her. The goddess really did choose the perfect woman for Sebastian. She was a darling and what she went through hasn't taken that from her.

We exchange phone numbers and she and the man, who she introduced as her cousin, leave for their table.

“Sit” Sebastian growls at me when I make movements to leave.

I take a seat and stare at him. I will tell him about the baby then leave. The dinner wasn’t necessary at all.

“You were going to leave weren’t you?” he asks.

I know he’s referring to when I collided into him. I don’t answer him because he already knew the truth.

I didn’t see the need of repeating what he already knew.

“Why?” he asked quietly.

There was sadness in his voice.

“She walked in and your eyes turned to her. You then stood up and left to go to her without saying a word to me. It’s like in your eyes, she’s the only one that existed” I replied.

It was the truth. That’s what I saw through my eyes. That was my perspective from where I was sitting and it brought everything full circle.

“I was going to greet her and bring her here to our table to greet you” he all about but shouts. Anger replacing the sadness.

“Really? Because that’s not what I saw…You could have told me that before you just stood up and left me sitting. Hell, you could have asked me to go with you to greet her but you didn’t. You left me and went immediately to her…what was I supposed to do? Sit here like a good fucking puppy while I waited for you to finish chatting with you mate” I asked.

I hated how my pain was slipping into my voice. I didn’t want him to know what I was feeling. I school my features just as he speaks.

“How many times do I have to fucking tell you that you’re my mate, not Mayra…You!” he bangs on the table making the utensils clutter.

“Not from where I’m sitting” I pierce him with my eyes.

“What do you want me to do Red? What can I do to prove to you that it’s you I want.” He says quietly.

His voice laced with pain. “I love you”

The words shock me but I don’t let him see that. I don’t want to acknowledge that.

“I wish I could believe you Sebastian” I take a breath. “But I don’t and I doubt I ever will”

“Just give me a chance…please” I see tears in his eyes but I harden my heart. I can’t go down this path again. I can’t risk getting hurt.

I sigh. “I know and understand that Mayra isn’t in the best mental state to be your Luna right now and that’s why you need me. So, I’ll be your acting Luna until she is stable enough for you to claim her.

There will be no intimacy. No living in the same house. There will be nothing but professionalism between us. That’s all I can offer you”

I say the whole thing without looking him in the eyes. I was afraid of what I would see there. But maybe if I had faced him, I would have seen his crushed soul. I would see how my words were hurting him.

How I was breaking him. If I had looked at him, I would have seen a single tear fall down his cheek. But I didn’t so I never saw his love shining through his eyes despite my words hurting.

“Think about it and let me know if you’ll take me up on my offer” I tell him before standing up, grabbing my purse and leaving.

I walk with my head held up high. I don’t turn to look back at him. Just continue forging my way through the restaurant.

When I get outside, I allow my shoulder to slouch and tears to fall. It fucking hurt to let him go. All I wanted to do was go back to him but I cannot. Wiping the tears I spot a taxi across the road. It was time for me to go home.

I hear rushing footsteps when I’m half way through the road to the taxi.

“Lauren!” I hear the urgency in the voice but it’s too late.

I hear the crunching noise of metal colliding with a body. My body to be exact. I feel the excruciating pain all briefly before sweet, peaceful darkness takes me.

All I can think about as my breath leaves me is that I never got to tell Sebastian that he was going to be a father.