28. My love

How could I have forgotten to hide it? The moment Darren told me that his parents would be arriving, everything else flew out of my mind. I was so nervous about meeting them that I had forgotten.

Darren was looking at me with a frown on his face. His brows pinched and one of his hands was resting on his hip. He was about to blow up and I didn’t know what to do or say. I tried to think of something.

Anything really, but nothing came up. My mind was blank.

“I asked you a question. What the fuck is this?” he repeats, his face a mask of anger.

I sigh and finish putting on my pajama bottoms. There wasn’t escaping this. I had to tell him the truth. It was bound to come out one way or another.

Once I’m done I walk then side step him and sit on the bed. Better to rip it off like a band aid.

“I started getting them a few months back. At first I didn’t think anything of it, not until I got the second one then the third and so on” I cross my legs and put them under me.

“You didn’t tell anyone about them? Why?” he asks through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t want anyone to worry and that's what would have happened if I told them. Nothing did happen so I didn’t see any need in taking action”

Part of me thinks it was just a way to scare me. It would have been a serious case if they were accompanied by something threatening but it wasn’t like that. It was just the notes and pictures.

Whoever it is wanted to unsettle me and maybe they got off seeing me panic.

“Someone is stalking you and you think there is no need to take any action? Do you know how dangerous and stupid that is? What if it’s connected to the red- eyed – wolf?”

My heart skips a beat at that. I never really thought of it like that but maybe I should have. What if the others got similar notes and their pictures were secretly taken and sent to them right before they were killed.

I mean it makes sense right? For this thing whatever it is to stalk first before killing. He or she would have to know details about the person they planned to kill.

“I honestly didn’t think about that, I should have though” I say in a small voice, feeling a bit stupid.

“Where are the other notes?”

I stand up and go to the hidden compartment in the back of the closet and retrieve them. When I turn I find Darren looking at me in surprise. Maybe it is because this is his bedroom and he never knew there was a hidden compartment in the closet.

I sit down on the bed and hand them over. He takes them and sits down next to me.

“What the fuck Mayra!” he all but shouts.

I turn to him wondering what is wrong only to find him looking at the pictures. I had taken them along with the notes and handed them over without thinking. I should have also told him about the pictures.

I was about to answer when I felt Raya slam against my mental blocks. Given how exhausted I was, it was easy for her.

I fall down and scream in pain all the while hoping that Iris doesn’t hear me and wake up. Raya does it again and I curl into myself. The pain unusually high as compared to other times.

“Let me out Mayra or I will hurt you” she screeches at the same time as Darren kneels down next to me.

“What’s happening Mayra?” he asks worriedly.

I try to speak but it’s hard as I try to fight the pain and nausea. Raya keeps slamming against the mental blocks. I know I said I would try with her but not right now.

She’s usually more unhinged at night and I was afraid she would attack Darren. He may be my mate but neither he or his wolf would take kindly to being disrespected. There would be consequences if she disrespects them which I’m sure she would.

“Mayra?” he calls again. “Tell me what’s wrong, tell me how I can help you”

“I-it’s R-Raya” I manage to stammer through clenched.

He picks me up and holds me in his arms. I try to push Raya back but it’s difficult. Part me thinks she’s been doing this more on purpose. To weaken me so when the time is right she’ll take control like she’s trying to do.

It’s an uphill battle. Fighting her was like fighting against myself and how can you honestly win against yourself? She was a part of me and I was a part of her.

“Raya…please stop” I beg her.

I’m trying so hard to keep in mind what Alice told me. Trying to understand that she isn’t herself but it’s hard. Times like this I sometimes forget that she’s one of those I love more than anything in the world.

She makes it so hard to hold on to her.

“Never” she screams.

A part of my block crumbles and she takes that chance immediately. She partially shifts and claws Darren. I watch in horror as her claws dig into his chest, leaving behind three deep gash.

Seeing him bleed and looking at me in shock makes me snap out of it. With every bit of strength I have, I pull her back and reinforce my mental block. Sealing her away for now.

I collapse in Darren’s arms, totally spent and with no more energy. My breaths come in fast as I try to regain calm. I was trembling and scared.

Rising up with me in his arms, Darren places me on the bed before leaving for the bathroom.

Minutes later he comes back. Blood cleaned and his wound sealing up. He lays down quietly next to me.

“I’m really sorry about Raya. I was tired and she took advantage of that” I tell him close to tears.

He brings me close and lays my head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around my waist.

“There is more to it isn’t there? She isn’t just scared like you’ve been saying, is she?” he asks gently.

This time I don’t hold back the tears. They roll out of my eyes and fall on his shoulder.

“No…it’s more than that. She’s unhinged and sometimes she forces a shift and lashes out”

I hated that this was happening to her. I wanted nothing more than to help her but she’s been resistant to me since we were rescued five years ago. How do I help a wolf that wants nothing to do with me?

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

I sigh. “I was afraid that if the council found out they would want me to be put down. There are times she acts really crazy. It’s been a battle keeping her in check. It’s starting to drain me both mentally and physically”

“That day at the restaurant?”

“She was going to force another shift on me and when you came to help she wanted nothing more than to hurt you for interfering”

I could feel my eyes getting heavy. Today has been a tiring day. From dealing with Darren’s mom to Raya. My body was shutting down. Begging for sleep.

“We need to get you help” he pushes back my hair from my face and looks at me.

His eyes are gentle and he doesn’t look at me any differently. Which if I was honest I was afraid he would.

“I already talked to my therapist. She said that Raya’s mind was slowly coming undone. That’s why she was so wild and unhinged. We made an appointment for her to do more tests so she can know how to help Raya” I said sleepily.

“Good”

When he doesn’t say anything else, I start dozing off. I was on the brink of unconsciousness when I felt his soft lips on my temple.

“I promise I won’t let anything happen to you or Raya, my love”

I wasn’t sure if I heard him right but I fell into a peaceful sleep, feeling loved and protected.