33. Losing her

Mayra.

I open my eyes and I’m no longer in the dark room. I’m in a field.

I look around trying to figure out how the hell I got here. Was I dead? Was this paradise? The last thing I remember was the excruciating pain caused by the silver running through my veins. I must have died.

That was the only explanation.

The field was beautiful. The grass was greener than I have ever seen. The flowers bloomed and the air was cleaner. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. It was peaceful and I could imagine myself spending eternity here.

I shake my head at those thoughts. No matter how beautiful this place was, I wasn’t ready to die. I wasn’t ready to leave my loved ones behind. I wasn’t ready to leave Darren and Iris. I wanted a life with them. A future where we were all happy.

I needed to find a way out. Surely, if this was paradise then there was someone I could talk to.

Someone who runs the place.

I was about to turn when a menacing growl halts my steps. I look up and my eye clash with the gaze of a werewolf. It looked feral, unhinged, and rabid. Its eyes were unfocused and there was foam around its mouth.

Before I can do anything, it pounces on me. Its sharp teeth digging into my side. I scream. The pain is excruciating. I grab its matted fur trying to pull it off me but it’s no use. It holds on, its teeth digging further into me.

It bites anywhere it can and that is basically everywhere. I call Raya but she doesn’t respond. There wasn’t going to be help coming for me this time. I was on my own.

With every bit of strength I have, I pull it off and kick it. It flies away from me. I get up on shaky legs.

Everything hurts.

“Stay away from me” I shout as I watch it get back on its paws.

It stops for a while as if my voice penetrated it but then it shakes its head and slowly walks toward me as I stumble back. I didn’t want to be eaten alive but was I really alive? And wasn’t paradise supposed to be peaceful and happy.

“Stay back” I shout again.

There was something in its yellow eyes. Something familiar. Despite how crazed it looked, its eyes were oddly familiar. Like I’ve seen them before.

“Raya?” it hits me just as she jumps on me again.

I don’t get time to react because she is on my chest, snapping her jaw at me. I hold her neck and keep her teeth from sinking anywhere near my throat.

“Raya please, listen to me” I plead.

I remember what Alice told me. The bitch betrayed me but what she said made sense. I needed to get through to Raya. This state she was in just proved how far gone she was.

She doesn’t listen to me. Instead she continues trying to snap my head off. I manage to flip her around and instead of pushing her from me, I hold her tightly in my arms refusing to let her go. I wanted to comfort her. To bring her back to herself.

“Remember when you first came to me?” I start. “It was after mother slapped me because I had broken an expensive vase”

My mother and father hated each other. When they met, my dad was in love with someone else.

Mother on the other hand had her eyes on another Alpha. My grandfather forced my father to take my mother as a mate. He swore that he wouldn’t surrender the Alpha title to him if he didn’t mark his fated.

Father loved the woman but he loved his position more so he accepted the terms of my grandfather.

When my mother refused him, he marked her against her will. He wanted his title and he wasn’t going to let my mother’s defiance get in the way of that.

They did everything they could to hurt each other for years until I was born. You’re probably wondering how it is they had me if they hated each other. My grandad demanded an heir. Given they couldn’t stand each other, sleeping together was out of the question so they settled on artificial insemination.

I was born just as my mother found out that father had been having an affair with the woman he loved.

In a fit of rage she killed the woman. Father has never been the same since then. Since then he has never bothered to keep his affairs secret or the fact that he despised my mother and mother has been nothing but a bitch.

To put it mildly, they hated me because none of them wanted me. I was the symbol of a union that none of them wanted. Father mostly just ignored me and treated me like I was nothing. Like I didn’t exist.

Mother was the worst because she used to hit me.

I shake myself from those thoughts and focus on Raya. Nothing happens. She still struggles in my arms. Biting and clawing me but I refuse to give up. I continue sharing all the wonderful memories we had together. The love she showed and how amazing she was.

I could feel myself getting weaker. I was bleeding in multiple places but I couldn’t give up not yet.

Finally after what seems like forever she quiets down and relaxes in my arms. I watch with tears as she transforms back to the Raya I know. Her brownish coat is soft to the touch. Her eyes are back to normal and she wasn’t foaming anymore.

“I love you Raya, more than you know” I cry out. “And I’m so sorry for being selfish. I should have seen your pain. I should have been there for you instead of trying to lock you out. I should have done everything in my power to help you. I’m so sorry.”

She buries her head in my hair. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear you say. I’m also sorry for the trouble I caused you. Sorry that I didn’t try harder. I love you my beautiful human and I wish I could stay with you but I can’t.”

“What do you mean?” I was frozen as her last words penetrate my mind.

“I’m tired May. So so tired. Here in this place you’ve helped me get myself back but it can’t be like that in the real world. I’m too far gone and there’s nothing anyone can do for me”

“No…you can’t leave me. I won’t let you leave me” I shout, pain slicing my heart.

“I will always be with you, just not in the real world. Always remember how much I love you. You’re the best human a wolf could ask for. Take care of Iris and love her unconditionally. Be happy with Darren and live life to the fullest. I love you May”

Tears fall down my face. My heart was breaking. I didn’t want her to die. I didn’t want to live without her.

“Please don’t leave me”

“It’s time May” she says weakly.

Her eyes close and her breath evens out before stopping completely. I rock her body. Sobs racking weakened body and soul. She was dead. My beautiful wolf was dead and I didn’t know what to do.

I stay in the same position. Refusing to let her go. Rocking back and forth begging her to come back.

She doesn’t though. Finally I let her go and lay beside her. Looking at her face. Memorizing it.

“I love you Raya. Always will.” I choke while smoothing back her coat.

This is what Krystal meant. She warned me. Told me I would lose someone dear to me. I just never imagined it would be Raya.

Exhaustion takes over and I close my eyes. All the while begging her to come back to me.

********

Darren.

I hold her hand in mine. Praying to the goddess that she would wake up. It’s been close to three weeks since she slipped into a coma. The doctors still aren’t sure if she will wake up.

Krystal told me to hold on. Not to lose faith but it’s hard to do that with each day that passes and she doesn’t wake up.

That day when I saw her bleeding from her mouth and nose. Then smelling the silver that had replaced her scent. I almost died there and then. I hadn’t protected her and it had nearly killed me. Holding her in my arms while she said she loved me and told me to take care of Iris undid me.

I was a mess when Sebastian found me crying and begging her not to leave me.

We rushed her to the hospital. They purged the silver from the bloodstream but it had already done some damage and she had already gone into a coma.

“Please wake up, my love” I beg.

Everyone has been to see her. Her room is full of flowers, balloons and get well cards. Iris has been inconsolable. Always afraid that her mother would die and leave her alone.

I lay my head on our joined hands. I wanted to be strong but I was losing it. I just wanted to hear her voice and see her beautiful eyes. I stayed there in that position praying to the goddess. Promising that I will be the best mate if she brings her back to me.

Suddenly I feel fingers in my hair. I refuse to look up. Thinking that it was just my wishful thinking. That is until I hear her voice.

“Darren”

My head shoots up. I almost snapped my neck in the process. Her beautiful blue eyes are staring at me.

“You’re finally awake” I whisper before kissing her lips.

Kissing her felt like home. Like I was finally where I belonged.

“Let me call the doctor” I tell her and she nods.

The doctors come and check on her. Assuring me that she was okay and would make a full recovery in a couple of days.

After they leave, Mayra immediately bursts into tears. I get on the small bed and pull her into my arms.

“What is it, love?” I gently ask her.

She was upset, that’s more than clear. I just didn’t know what upset her.

“I lost Raya. I lost my wolf” she cries.

I’m speechless actually. I was so overcome with relief that I didn’t notice that something was different about her. Usually I could feel Raya’s presence even when she was locked away but not today. Today the place she occupied was empty.

“I’m so sorry” I comfort her, kissing her temple.

Words aren’t enough to comfort a person who has lost someone dear to them and I won’t pretend to know how she feels. The best thing I can offer is my support and comfort.

“I’m here for you Mayra. We’ll get through this together”

“You still want me? Even though I’m wolfless” she looks puzzled.

I grasp her hand before kissing it. “I fell in love with you Mayra. Not because you had a wolf so yes I still want you. I would never give up on you or let you go”

“What about the pack? I can’t be a Luna without a wolf”

“Says who? They’ll accept you because they already love you. Everyone including the Omegas sing your praises. These past few weeks, they’ve hounded me each day for updates. All of them praying for your recovery”

She can’t hide the surprise in her eyes. I guess she just never expected that.

“I love you Mayra, and I want you with or without Raya, will you have me?”

She is quiet for a while. Tears fill her face before she wipes them and smiles.

“I love you too Darren”