17. You may kiss the bride.

“Would you hold still” Claire grumbles as she tries to tie the laces of my wedding gown.

“I can’t” I yell in frustration.

Today was the day and I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t stop myself from fidgeting. Afraid that something would go wrong.

The week had passed in a blur. After the events at the mall, I decided to design my own gown instead of shopping for one. Not wanting to risk my safety again. Our company dealt with design so what better way than putting my employees to use.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I’m happy with the outcome. I chose a princess style wedding gown. It was an illusion long sleeved high neck dress. Encrusted in rhinestones and tiny hand sewn flowers.

“You look absolutely stunning, Sebastian won’t be able to take his eyes off you” Claire whispers, staring at me through the mirror.

I find her hand and give it a firm squeeze. “Thank you Claire bear”

I really did look amazing. The dress was beautiful and my makeup was flawless. I decided to have my hair up. The stylist styled it in a complicated but beautiful up do that showed off my neck. It honestly seemed like I was staring at a completely different person.

“Wow” the awe in the voice makes me turn.

I find Jax, Krystal and a fully recovered Mace standing on my doorway looking awestruck. I would have laughed if I hadn’t been so jittery.

“You look beautiful. Like a queen” Jax says, completely riveted by how I looked.

Mace and Krystal echo his sentiments. Looking at me in wonder. As if they’ve never seen me before.

“Thank you, you guys” I reply fighting back tears.

“Don’t you dare cry. We have to go and there won’t be enough time to retouch your makeup if you did”

Claire tells me before turning to the children. “Off you go, we’ll meet you three in the car”

Jax and Mace scramble out the door but Krystal lags behind. She casts me an uncertain and unsure look. Like she wants to say something but didn’t know how to.

“Do you need something sweetie?” I ask, coming to stand in front of her.

Her nervous eyes turn to me before going to Claire who was tidying up my bedroom.

Without taking my eyes off Krystal I speak. “Claire could you give us a sec?”

“Sure” she replies before leaving. Closing the door behind her.

The moment Claire leaves, Krystal bursts into tears. It shreds my heart to see her cry. No matter how she hurt me, I’ll always love her. She was my joy. My lifeline.

I take her by the hand. Leading her to my bed. “It’s okay baby, let it out”

I didn’t understand why she was crying. So I just held her close to me. Giving her time until she was ready to talk.

“I’m so sorry mommy for being such a bad girl. I said mean things to you and I shouldn’t have when you’re the best mom anyone could have.” She sucks in a breath before continuing. “I know you don’t love me anymore and you left because I was mean but I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry”

Her tears undo me. Breaking and healing my heart at the same time. I had no idea she carried such a big burden with her. It tore me apart knowing she blamed herself. That she was drowning in guilt.

“Oh sweet girl, I could never hate you. You’re my baby and I will always love you no matter what. Don’t ever think otherwise. I left because Blue and I were sick but we’re better now. Don’t ever think that I left because I didn’t love”

She nods her head. “Will you forgive me then? I promise to be a good girl from now on”

I hug her close. Even though the dress makes things a little bit tricky.

“There’s nothing to forgive baby okay? You’ll always be my number one girl no matter what” I tell her.

“Now, are you ready to be the prettiest flower girl anyone has ever seen?”

With that she grins wide at me. She still has shadows behind her obsidian eyes though I can’t tell the burden has been lifted. It will take time to rid her of her guilt but we’ll work it through. I’ll make sure she’s whole again.

We stand up and leave my room. Finding Claire and the boys waiting for us. Since all my friends except for Claire abandoned me a year ago. Claire was my maid of honor and my only bride’s maid.

“Let’s get this show started” I say.

We get out and get in the limousine. My compound is surrounded by bodyguards. Most of whom were warriors from Sebastian’s pack but humans didn’t know that. There were also paparazzi, each trying their hardest to take a snap shot.

Soon enough we are on the road. The wedding was taking place in an exclusive garden just outside the city limits. So we had quite a distance to cover.

The ride is full of chatter and laughter. Mace and Jax entertained us while Jax and Krystal’s banter cracked us up. I could already tell that they would be tight. Not just Jax and Krystal, but all three kids.

I feel myself relaxing but that was short lived when we reached the venue. Sebastian had invited the crème de la crème of both the human and wolf society, which made me more nervous.

The car stops next to the red carpet. Getting out, I literally had my heart in my throat. The children go ahead of us. I gave Claire away during her wedding. Today she was doing the same.

The wedding march begins to play.

“Are you ready Blue?” I ask her. She was stronger now. Though the fight to keep us sane was draining both of us.

“Fuck yeah” her yell echoes in my mind making me smile.

We walk down the red carpet and I’m amazed by the design. The wedding planner took everything I told her and turned everything into a dream. Everything was better than I had envisioned.

Sebastian was standing at the front in a black suit. He looked really dashing and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Next to him was his best man Micah. He was also Sebastian’s beta.

We reach the front and Sebastian takes my hand from Claire’s in a show of affection.

“You look breathtaking” he tells me. His love filled eyes sear into my soul.

I have to keep reminding myself that this isn’t real. That the love I see in his eyes isn’t real. That this is all just pretend.

He turns us to face the preacher who starts the sermon. I don’t pay attention mainly because humans and wolves don’t pray to the same deity.

“Do you take Sebastian Ashford as your beloved husband? Do you promise to cherish and obey? In sickness and in health till death do you part?”

The preacher brings me back to the present only to find Jax standing next to us with the rings. I’m really not sure about the cherish and obey part but I can’t outright say that now can I? I “I do” I answer. Sebastian pulls my hand toward him. Takes the ring and puts it on my finger.

“And do you take Lauren Smith as your wife? To have and to hold. To love and to cherish. In sickness and in health, till death do you part?” The preacher poses the question to Sebastian.

Sebastian stares at me deeply. Peeking into my soul instead of answering. I start getting nervous.

Afraid that he’s changed his mind. That he no longer wants this. It would be embarrassing. I would be called the scorned bride.

“I do” he finally replies and I breathe in relief. I place the ring on his finger. Sealing us as husband and wife.

The preacher immediately continues. “By the powers vested in me. I declare you husband and wife.”

He declares through the joyful uproar of the guest.

“You may now kiss the bride”