48. I'll tear your tongue out

I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes look hollow and dead. A look that reminds me of the time when Darren broke me. My messy red hair is tied up in a ponytail. I look thin and haggard but that is to be expected when you were thrown in prison. Only receiving a meal a day.

The bruises haven’t completely faded away. I was healing slower than usual. Mostly because Blue was still weak.

The scars that adorn my body disgust me. I don’t know if they would ever completely fade but for now I couldn’t wear anything revealing. Humans would question me. I wouldn’t know what to tell them.

I drop my towel and slowly put my clothes on. Today I will be going back to Sebastian’s pack. My feelings are conflicted about that. Especially when I remember everyone except for Monica and James had looked at me with anger and hatred the day I was arrested.

“So what are we going to do?” Blue asks me. She’s not her usual chirpy self. Neither of us are.

I get out of the bathroom. “About what exactly?”

I find Sebastian seated. Typing something on his phone. He has been here every day. I was starting to get tired of seeing his face.

I’ve heard so many things about being marked and getting the mate bond. For one, you know what the other is thinking. Feel what they’re feeling and you can communicate telepathically.

Since he marked me, I have been blocking the bond. I can feel it buzzing deep inside me, feel him tugging at it at times, but I have put a mental block so strong he won't be able to get access to my mind. Unless I allow him.

“About the beast inside us. The goddess said we have to name and embrace her” Blue interrupts my thoughts.

The beast living inside me isn’t something I want to think of. In fact I am downright scared of the thing.

Each night I am plagued by the killings. How merciless it was. I still feel my claws tearing into the men.

Still taste their blood in my mouth. It's terrifying what it can do.

I shake my head. “It hasn’t shown up yet so maybe the goddess was wrong” I say hopefully.

“I don’t know. The goddess is never wrong”

Sebastian looks up once he senses me. Just like I have been doing since I woke up. I avert my eyes.

Because every time I see him, I’m reminded of what he did. Of how he stood back and watched. How he encouraged Alec.

“You ready?” he asks in a rough voice.

Instead of answering, I start walking towards the door. I hear him sigh just as I get to the door. I open it and leave the room.

It’s busy outside. Doctors, nurses, patients, loved ones. Being around this many people was making me anxious. Putting me on edge. Especially since they were trying to discreetly look at me. I ignore them and hurry my steps. I could feel sweat breaking out. Panic setting in. I needed to leave.

I get out and breathe in relief. I spot Sebastian’s car and I walk towards it. I expected him to be driving today but instead, Hunter gets out of the car when he sees me. I guess he was our driver today.

“Luna” he softly says when I get near him. I see something in his eyes but I don't bother reading into it.

I remember his disgusted look that day and it pisses me off.

I snap at him. “I am not your fucking Luna and don’t ever call me that again”

I don’t wait for him to say anything else. I wrench the car door and get in. Minutes later, Sebastian joins us and we drive off.

“Red” he calls my name but I ignore him.

I continue looking outside the window. Wondering if it was too late to break this mating contract. After everything that has happened. I don’t think there is anything that could redeem him now. Nothing he could say would make it all better.

The worst part is that Darren of all people believed me when Sebastian didn’t. Is it because Darren knew me for a long time? Or is it that Sebastian wanted to catch the killer so bad that he readily believed I was a merciless killer?

“Are you really going to ignore me?” he asks in irritation.

“Obviously” I reply in a snarky tone.

“We are going to our pack, you can’t fucking behave like this. I am your alpha and mate I deserve some fucking respect” he growls.

His words piss me off. He truly has a lot of guts thinking that I would fall at his feet. What an arrogant bastard.

I turn and look at him with the most hateful look I can come up with.

“First of all, it’s your pack not mine. Second of all, you stopped being my alpha and mate when you accused me of a crime I didn’t commit then proceeded to make me suffer for it. Last, what the hell did you expect? Did you think I would come to you, grateful, kissing your feet? Dream fucking on” I snarl at him.

I continue, “You treated me like I was scum beneath your shoes. You couldn’t wait to execute me and send me straight to hell, remember? I would prefer you continue treating me like I was nothing. I’ll stay in your pack for a while because that’s what Sylvia said, but meanwhile I’ll try to find a way we can break this mating. I am sure it won’t be hard given we haven’t been mated for long”

“You’re not going to do that. I won’t fucking allow it” his tone is hard and his jaw set.

Did he honestly think I would stay mated to him after all he has done? That I would continue playing the role of the loving mate? I would be the laughing stock of the whole werewolf community. Who in their right mind stays with the mate that persecuted her for a crime she didn’t commit?

I chuckle. “I’d like to see you try to stop me”

“Red, I am warning you. Don’t even think of it”

This time I laugh. “If I do, what are you going to do? Throw me in the dungeon? Torture me more? Hate to break it to you buddy but I’ve already been there and done that. Right now I don’t think there is anything worse you can do…”

I don’t get to finish my sentence. In one clean swoop he has me off my seat and on his laps. My thighs straddle him automatically and his lips descend on mine. He kisses me like a starving man, his tongue tangling with mine in a fight for dominance.

I almost relaxed in the passion that was Sebastian, but then I remembered who I was kissing.

Remembered that he was the same man that had wanted me dead.

I wrench myself out of his arms forcefully. Then wipe my lips with the back of my hand. Disgusted with both him and myself.

“Don’t you ever fucking do that!” I glare at him.

He smirks knowingly. “And if I do? What will you do about it Red?” he says, throwing my words back at me.

I snarl at him. Showing my fangs. “I’ll fucking tear you tongue off”

He doesn’t reply. Just chuckles as if he was finding this funny. I hated that I almost gave in to the kiss.

Hated that a perverse part of me loved the kiss.

Soon we enter pack lands and the pack house comes into view. The car comes to a stop and I get out.

The people who were loitering around give me strange looks. I ignore them and just get inside the house. I get the same strange looks inside.

I don’t pay them any mind. I also don’t greet anyone. I just wanted to sleep and forget I was here.

Deciding not to sleep in the alpha’s bedroom. I head to a room in a different section. Far away from Sebastian’s.

On my way there I bump into Krystal.

“Mommy, you’re finally back” she hugs me in happiness.

I can’t master the energy to do the same. Does it make me a bad mother? I was dying to see Krystal when I was in prison but now that she’s here hugging me I can’t hug her back. I feel drained and numb.

She notices that I wasn’t reciprocating. “Are you okay mama?” she asks in a small voice, while letting go of me.

“Yes, I just need to rest” I tell her. “I’ll talk to you when I wake up, okay?”

The tears that I see in her eyes as I walk away breaks my heart but my pain and heartache is still raw.

It’s unfair to blame her but I wish she had told me first instead of Sebastian. Maybe just maybe everything that happened could have been avoided.

I get to the room and freshen up before going to bed. I was just falling asleep when the door bangs open.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sebastian’s dominating presence sucks the peacefulness of the room.

Can’t a girl get some peace and quiet? Was it too much to ask to just let me sleep?

I roll my eyes at him. “Isn’t it obvious? I am sleeping”

I close my eyes. Hoping he’ll get the hint and leave me alone. After all that is what he has done in the two weeks I was in custody. It shouldn’t be hard for him to do the same now.

“You should be in our room, our bed” He growls.

“Why do you keep saying ‘ours’ when it is ‘yours’” I grumble.

He made it clear where he stood when he shouted that day at me. In front of the enforcers and some of his pack members, and made it clear that I had no right to anything that belonged to him.

He goes to say something but I interrupt him.

“Just leave me alone. I am tired and I want to sleep. If you can’t accept that I’ll be sleeping here then tell me and I’ll find a hotel or rent an apartment”

I wanted him to argue with me, to put up a fight. That way I’ll have a reason to leave.

It’s like he saw through my plan though. Because he backs away from the fight.

“Fine, but know this Red that I will make things right. What I did wasn’t okay and I fucking promise to fix things” After finishing, he turns and leaves. Closing the door softly behind him.

What he said kept ringing in my mind.

He can try but I doubt there is anything that can make what he did right. I honestly don’t think he can fix things.