51. I'm so fucking sorry

What the hell was he so happy about? I ball my hands. The need to hit him in his perfectly square jaw is almost consuming.

I was just about to leave when he detaches from his pack members. He approaches me while taking off his t-shirt. Leaving his delicious abs out in the open for any female to admire.

Before I can say anything he brings the clothe down on my head. I automatically put my arms through.

It’s big on me coming down to my mid-thigh.

By the time I am done I realize what he has done. I don’t get time to scold him for it. He turns to the woman on the floor. And can you imagine what the bitch did? She made it seem like it was my fault.

Like I was a crazy woman who just attacked her for no reason.

The moment she senses Sebastian’s presence. She scrambles to him. Wraps her arms around his ankles, she begins sobbing.

“Oh thank the goddess you’re here Sebastian. She is crazy. I didn’t do anything to her and she just attacked me”

I had to hand it to her. She was a damn good actress. I almost believed her and I was there when everything happened. That’s how fucking good she was.

“Run it through me Nicole” Sebastian tells her.

She nods her head. “I was just talking to Michelle when she came from outside. I asked her if she was okay and she went ballistic. Saying that she didn’t need care from her mate’s hoes. I tried to tell her that I wasn’t and that nothing was going on between us now but she refused to listen. She went crazy and forced me to transform before attacking me”

She cries these gut wrenching sobs that I almost feel sorry for her. If it wasn’t the fact that I knew she was lying I would have truly felt bad for her.

I turn to look at Sebastian. I knew he would believe her. After all, it wasn’t the first time he believed something that wasn’t true about me.

“Are you sure that’s what happened?” he asked her.

Everyone present was holding their breaths. We all noticed the edge in his voice. Whether he was angry on her behalf or not was yet to be decided.

“Yes, Alpha…that is the truth of what happened” she says, her sobs slowly dying.

Before I know it, Sebastian has her up by her neck.

“Do you think I am an idiot Nicole?” he asks her menacingly.

The fear in her eyes is tangible and it makes me smile. A big cruel smile.

“N-No” she stammers.

“So why would you deliberately lie to me?”

“I swear I didn’t”

“You see I know my woman, and she wouldn’t attack you unless she had a reason, but since you chose this fucking act lets continue by it, shall we?”

For some reason I am shocked and rooted to the floor. Not because he believed me but because he called me his. It shouldn’t affect me but it kind of did and I hated that.

“Tell me the truth Michelle, is what she said the truth? And don’t think I don’t know that you and that bitch Miranda tried attacking her, so bear in mind that if you fucking lie to me then Lauren’s threat of banishing you will be made effective” he warns.

Another shock. I honestly didn’t know that he knew about the restaurant incident. But then again, this is Sebastian we are talking about. He practically knows everything. Well except who the real murderer was. Note the sarcasm.

“No she’s not telling the truth” Michelle says in a straight face.

I guess their bond wasn’t as strong because she outed her friend without even a second thought.

The fear that was on Nicole’s face doubles. She tries saying something but the chokehold prevented that.

“You’re lucky I don’t hit women” Sebastian says and I internally snort. He doesn’t hit them but he sure does allow others to do the dirty work for him.

“For disrespecting my Luna, Nicole Hazina, you’re hereby stripped of your current position and I demote you to an omega” he declares, making everyone gasp.

The moment he says that he releases her. She crumbles to the floor. Being demoted is painful and there is no worse shame than that. I don’t know which position she held but being demoted to the bottom of the food chain must be horrible.

He leaves the screaming woman and comes to stand beside me. He meshes his hands with mine before turning to the others and addressing them.

“Listen to me and listen well. Anyone and I mean anyone who even tries to disrespect my mate or even looks at her wrong will suffer the same fate. I don’t fucking care who you are and how long you have been in this pack, let me make this clear. She will get the same amount of respect you give me. Am I understood?” he asks, searing them with a fierce look.

I am surprised. Never has Darren ever defended me in his pack when some of the women disrespected me. Never has he ever demanded the pack to give me the same respect they gave him.

That was what it meant to mates but even that Darren didn’t give me. It just shows me how toxic the relationship was.

The problem with being in love is it makes you fucking blind. Blind to the toxicity swimming in your relationship. Blind to their faults. I now realize Darren was fetsering cancer and I was the only one truly in love in that relationship.

“Yes Alpha”

The chorus brings me back to reality.

“Spread the word to those who are not present” he commands as he walks us past them.

He leads me up the stairs, showing his pack that we are a solid front. Once we are out of sight I try getting my hand out of his but he refuses to let go.

He leads us to his bedroom. Gets in and locks the door behind him. The moment he does I rip my hand out of his.

“Why the hell did you do that?” I ask him. Furious.

I didn’t need him to defend me now. I needed him a couple of weeks ago and he showed me that I was nothing.

“Do what Red?”

“Defend me like I matter?” I was pissed. Beyond pissed.

I start pacing the room. The need to hit him became strong again. He decides to defend on an issue that I can defend myself from. But the one I really needed him to, he left me on my own.

“You do matter. Our arrangement may be on paper only but you still matter” he tells me softly.

I harden my resolve. I didn’t want his softness. I wanted the hard man that stood by while I was being tortured. The man that called me all sorts of horrible names. The man that couldn’t wait to have me killed.

“Did I matter when I was being tortured while you watched? Did I matter when you let Alec hit me over and over again? Did I fucking matter when you told the enforcers to take me out of your fucking home hmm? Fucking answer me?” I yell.

He doesn’t say anything. Just approaches me as if he was approaching a wounded animal. Despite my refusal and protests, he wraps his hands around my waist. Bringing me close.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve never told you this but I am fucking sorry, so fucking sorry. I should have investigated more, should have believed but I didn’t and you will never know how it fucking kills me that I put you through that” I start to say something but he interrupts me.

“No listen. I need to get this off” He says so shut up. “I was in the wrong Red. I promised to protect you yet I am the one that ended up causing the greatest damage. You will never know how fucking sorry I am and not because I want to ease the guilt but because I caused you pain. You’re my Luna, my mate and I should have put that before my need to catch a criminal. I should have seen your heart and realized that the woman I’ve known these past months isn’t a heartless killer. For that I am so sorry.

Sorry for hurting you, sorry for not believing you, sorry for doubting you goodness”

When he finishes the fight has left me completely. I feel depleted and tired.

His other hand comes to my face. He caresses my cheek softly and a part of me wants to lean in to his warmth. But I can’t. He already broke my trust. It’s hard getting it back.

“Those are just words, Sebastian. Nothing more. Right now I just want you to let me go. Terminate the contract”

“I can’t do that, Red. And yes, what you said is true, what I said are just words so I am going to prove to you using my actions.”

I don’t say anything, because what’s there to say? I get out of his arms and begin walking towards the door.

“Red?” he calls and I turn around. My hands on the door knob.

I sigh tiredly. “What?”

“Tomorrow be ready at seven. I’ll be taking you out” he says.

“I’m not going out with you Sebastian” I counter defiantly.

He just gives me his annoying smirk. “We’ll see about that”

I walk out of his room without another word to him. Everything he said still playing like a broken record in my mind.

Of course I know the reason he wants me to stay as his Luna is not because he is in love with me. But I also have to admit that before everything went to shit, there was a connection between us. But that was before.

Right now I wasn’t sure I wanted to explore it. For some reason I feel like he tainted it with his actions and once something is tainted it can never be pure again.