82. You're here

I wake up feeling tired and drained. I wasn’t able to sleep well yesterday because of everything that had taken place.

To say that dinner was an awkward affair would be an understatement. We were all tense and uncomfortable. Hunter sensed that something happened but he kept quiet and didn’t butt in.

The only saving grace was Jax and Krystal who were chatter boxes the whole time. Engaging everyone in their conversations and their stories.

After dinner I led the kids and helped them get ready for bed before retiring to the room given to me.

I tried reaching Sebastian but he had been inaccessible so I eventually gave up. It took time but when I finally fell asleep, it wasn’t peaceful. My ongoing nightmares and the recent discovery merged to create on big fucking bad dream.

I sigh as I get out of bed. My eyes felt dry, like they had rocks inside them. I check my phone and I realize how late I woke up because it was past nine am.

I rush through my morning routine before heading first to Jax’s room to wake him up. Then to Krystal’s “I feel like shit” Blue mumbles while I was helping Krystal get dressed.

She wasn’t little anymore and she could do it by herself but I just felt like doing it today. It was helping me not think about facing today.

The relationship between me and Lilly was now awkward. I don’t know if it’s because of me, her or the both of us.

“You’re not alone” Midnight grumbles.

I couldn’t blame them though. I felt the same way. Like I had aged in the span of just a few hours.

“Did you talk to Lucas’ wolf?” I ask Blue, remembering that he had made contact with her yesterday.

She sighs. “Yeah, his name is Leo. I honestly don’t know what to think. I mean I do feel the bond but it’s not that strong so I don’t know whether to trust in it or not”

I nod my head. I understand her. It was the same thing with Lucas. I did feel some kind of pull towards him. It was subtle but still there nonetheless. I just didn’t know whether to trust in it.

I’m not a person that trusts easily so it was hard for me to embrace the reality that he might be my father.

“What was he like? Leo?”

“Gentle and caring. He was understanding the few minutes we spoke. Very considerate and patient.

Everything you would want in a dad” she replied smiling a little bit.

Lucas was also like that and from the little I’ve seen I understand why Lilly loved her parents. Valery was the sweet and kind type of woman that everyone just falls in love with. The one who fusses over everyone, makes sure everyone is happy and comfortable.

Despite the weird atmosphere I genuinely liked her and Lucas. They were good people.

I finished dressing Krystal and we went to Jax's room to get him. We found him dressed and ready so we headed down stairs to have breakfast.

“Can we go to the beach again? I want to swim in the ocean today” Jax asks as we make our way to the kitchen.

“Sure after breakfast we can get into our swimming clothes then head down there” I answer him.

I freeze on the threshold of the huge kitchen when I find it packed. Eyes turn to me making me freeze even more.

There were about eight people excluding Lilly, Luke and their parents so in total there were twelve people all staring at me and my children.

Three pairs of older couples, two couples who looked to be around Lucas’ and Valery’s age and a woman about our age.

“Oh my goddess…they weren’t lying. You look like my Hailey” one of the older women says. Tears running down her face.

I don’t say anything because I wasn’t sure what to say. If my guess was right then she was Valery’s and Hailey’s mother and probably my grandmother.

Krystal leaves my side and rushes to the woman, hugging her midriff.

“Please don’t cry. Everything will be okay” she whispers which makes the woman just cry more.

We are shocked by Krystal’s reaction. Especially me, given she isn’t usually this open to strangers. I watch silently as the woman continues to sob before slowly pulling herself together.

She finally manages to get control of her emotions.

Krystal looks up at her and smiles. “Hi, I’m Krystal and that boy over there is my big brother but we are only a year apart, that pretty lady next to him is my mommy, I have two dads. One is on a business trip but I have yet to ask him if I can call him daddy, and the other one is back at our former pack where my grandma and grandpa are, also Aunt Claire and Uncle Brent live there with my cousin Mase who is mine and Jax bestfriend. Mase is going to be a big brother soon and he is excited. Jax and I want another sibling and we did ask mommy for one, well Jax did, but we are still waiting and it’s been months so we are wondering what’s taking her so long” she says all in one breath.

I feel my cheeks warm at her last statement. Still can’t believe that they are waiting for me to get pregnant and give them a sibling.

The woman chuckles before bending down and kissing her forehead.

“It’s nice to meet you Krystal” she says softly.

She moves forward and comes towards us. She greets Jax and pecks his forehead before turning to me. I see her struggle as she tries to control her emotions.

“I’m glad to meet you Lauren” she hugs me. I was stiff at first but then I relax into the hug.

From there is a flurry of activities. Introductions, hugs, more crying. The emotions overwhelm me and I feel so suffocated.

“Ren” Lilly calls but her voice sounds far away.

I stare at her with wide eyes. “I-I need fresh air” I stammer before darting outside.

Oh goddess. It was too much, all of it. They already assumed that I was part of their family but what if I was not? Then again what if I was? That means I had a whole family with people that were strangers.

I reach the beach and start gulping for air. My chest felt constricted. I couldn’t breathe. I fall on my knees clutching my chest. Trying to pull air into my burning lungs.

“Breathe Red, breathe” a voice pulls me from the darkness.

He keeps repeating the same thing. Guiding me until I can finally breathe. Finally my panic abates and I’m left shivering.

His scent hits me before I can look up. I left my head so quickly I almost head butt him.

“You’re here? How are you here, when did you get here?” I ask in confusion.

He almost seemed like a dream. His hair was disheveled and his suit was wrinkled but he doesn’t look any less sexy.

“Yeah…My jet landed about an hour ago and I got Hunter to pick me up” Sebastian replies softly.

Pushing my hair behind my ear.

No wonder I didn’t see Hunter when I came downstairs.

“But what about your business meeting?”

He gives me one of his rare smiles. “You needed me so I came, everything else can wait”

I crash my mouth against his. Tasting him. Feeling him in every fiber of my body. I can’t believe that this gorgeous man left his important trip to come and be here for me. Darren would never have done that.

I meant to give him a small kiss. A thank you kiss but it became so much more. One thing led to another and then another and before I knew it, we were naked, having sex on the beach. Fuck I had missed him. Every hard square inch of him.

“I missed you” I tell him a while later.

I pat my clothes and hair, trying unsuccessfully to get the sand out.

“I could tell” He smirks, pulling me closer and kissing me again. His hand grabbing my ass.

I feel him harden against my stomach. I push against him and put some distance between us.

“No way buddy. We’re not having sex again.” I say, shaking my head and he chuckles "Why did I think it was a good idea to have sex on the beach?" I ask before continuing. “I have sand in places sand shouldn’t be in all because I was unable to resist you”

I realize that Sebastian trying to hold back his laugh while his eyes were fixed behind me. I freeze when I feel his presence behind me.

I turn slowly to find Lucas' staring at me with a disturbed look.

"That's something I never want to hear especially coming from my daughter" he says shaking his head as if he was trying to get rid of the mental image.

This was completely mortifying. For the both of us.