Reborn as a DRAGON

My name is Tim, or it was until I died. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no white room... Read more My name is Tim, or it was until I died. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no white room to choose any cheats from, nor was there any meeting with God.I didn’t die heroically while saving someone, and I certainly didn’t get hit by a truck. My death was rather stupid and anticlimactic, I had apparently bumped my head while sleeping and passed away...That should have been the end of the road for me, but like many self-proclaimed main characters, I joined the army of multi-dimensional travelers and was reincarnated.Being an avid light novel and manga reader, I would have been excited about the opportunity, if not for my new siblings, who tried to kill me as soon as I was born, or for my mother, who seemed to have a thing for throwing me off cliffs. And let’s not forget my murderous father, who forced me to flatten a small country as my Rite of passage.Oh, did I mention I was reborn as a Dragon? Collapse Character Growth, Dragons, Fantasy Creatures, Godly Powers, Gods, Gore, Monster Society, Monsters, Mystery Solving, Mythical Beasts, Non-human Protagonist, Non-humanoid Protagonist, Overpowered Protagonist, Reincarnated as a Monster, Sword And Magic It's not a story about human in dragon body at all. Just a pure dragon who (sometimes) mindlessly follow it instincts. I don't know what the advantage as a reborn person he have when his siblings have the same intelligence as he is. Great review from Theodepolis, scribblehubReborn as A dragon is a reincarnation story where a man is born into a family of dragons on another world.Plot and Theme: This is an exploration/slice of life/cultivation story based around a dragon's life. There is exploration of the internal landscape, but its minimal. The strength of the story is in its exploration of the world and the social interactions between dragons and other species.Good points: Its refreshing. The author creates an entire world around the story's protagonist. The story doesn't sugarcoat the Dragon Supremacy culture. The ultra rigid society reminds this reader of Sparta: only the strongest and most fit survive. Everyone else is a rival, a source of food, or a pest. Dragons are not human. They don't have human morals. The reader will find brutality but discovery as well. The protagonist might, eventually, have moments of insanity some will confuse with mercy.Bad Points: The prose and style. I kid you not. The prose is something written with no care to style. It is beyond amateur and more than a little lazy. As/while conjunction abuse, rigid structure, telling vs showing, gerunds, bloating (excessive wordiness for simple concepts), lack of significant description, Point of View bouncing, tense slips, passive voice vs active voice, basic orthography, punctuation, etc. In fact, this work doesn't miss a single bump. It holds on to literary problems like an alcoholic to Jack Daniels.1. As/While abuse. As/while subordinate conjunctions are abused in order to speed the narrative along without care for how many times they are repeated. There are other words out there.2. Rigid structure. The style has a general repetitive sentence structure. 'Subordinate conjunction, Independent clause.'Example: "As I thought about what to do, I started yawning." as opposed to "I yawned and considered my options."Feel the weight of the sentence in your head. It isn't pleasant. This particular style controls most of the narrative. It repetition becomes a problem and might put-off many a reader. If something is important enough to be included in a story (subordinate conjunction), it could be separated into its own independent clause (independent clause).3. Gerunds. I won't teach basic creative writing here. Do a search in Google for "Gerunds in prose." Let's just say that the general rule (and all rules are meant to be broken when one knows what they are doing) is to NOT use them. Gerunds, combined with as/while repetition AND subor