chapter 11

CONQUERED BY MY FIRST CRUSH.Chapter 10 :I returned home and locked myself in my room feeling ashamed to show my face to my parents. I lied to my mother that I had my dinner at my friend’s house and stayed in the room until the next dawn.As usual I woke up and went to my window to see  Harsha but to my surprise his room window was kept closed. This was the first time I saw his window being closed from the time I started to check him out  doing his workouts.I was disappointed to not see him, which became my daily routine. My heart foreboard that something was going to happen which could shatter my heart.As I predicted,    I didn’t have any glimpse of him for the week as they went to their native place. When they returned back, my  heart was on cloud9 and floating in the sky to see Haarsha whom I missed a lot.But the news Roshini carried for me shattered my heart into pieces which I couldn’t rearrange it. I felt like my  soul was leaving my body. Harsha was leaving for his college  as he got a seat in IIT in computer science division.After that intimacy we had  at the exhibition, he hadn't met me  or spoke to me to inform me about his joining. He was totally ignoring me  once he came from their native place. I want   to see him  personally and hear from him about his departure. I want to make sure that he didn’t misjudge me  with the intimacy we had at the exhibition. But to my disappointment, I couldn’t get any chance in confronting him.The day of his departure has come and they all started to leave the place. Aunt Mrudulatha asked me to come in front of the car while starting   their journey and I happily obliged her request to have a look at him.My parents wished him good luck   before they entered the car. I stood in front of their car and was watching him to make sure of him glancing at me. But he kept his head lowered and ignored me completely. They started the car and started to move and I started to walk in front of their car  for their good luck. The car  bypassed me  and when Harsha was about to cross me, he raised his head and looked at me.His face looked very gloomy and his eyes were red indicating his pain he was suppressing. His eyes kept glued to me  showing all his emotions, as if he was  looking at me for the last time.My heart twisted by seeing his  downcasted face and the way his eyes bidding bye to me   squeezed my heart. I don’t know why but I felt like it was my last time to see him by watching the looks he gave to me.My fear had come true and it was the last time to see him. I never saw him until the present day. His eyes haunted me for a long time which gave me sleepless nights. It still haunts me. His eyes clearly explained to me that he was not going to see me again but being a fool I couldn’t understand it. I thought that he was feeling dejected to go for his college leaving me behind but never thought he would never show up again.His parents and sister go and meet him on his holidays but he never comes back.I came to know about his well being from Roshini for the time being but it too didn’t last long as she left the school for the next year.Uncle Anandvardhan got promoted and transferred to another place and they left for their new house.Roshini kept in touch with me for a few months but slowly the distance suppressed our communication and at last I didn’t hear from her.I felt dejected at the time of Sriharsha departure but Roshini departure made me miserable as she was the only connection between me and Sriharsha. I totally drowned in agony once I lost the communication with her. I didn’t hear any information about Sriharsha which slowly started killing me from inside.