chapter 1

PrologueA cool breeze hit my face while I was preparing for my English literature exam. The balcony door was ajar, the purple-colored curtain flowing with the breeze. With every passing wave, the hair fell over my face, making it difficult for me to read from the book. The weather outside was pleasant. Every other minute, I felt like stopping doing what I was doing and stepping out on the balcony to enjoy the cool breeze on my face. But, no, I could not do that. Who else would prepare for the exam then? I was forced to read pages through a gloomy book, The Wuthering Heights. For a moment, I felt like shutting the book and walking through the balcony door to enjoy the lovely weather. But then I decided against it and reluctantly buried myself into the book, for the umpteen times. A few seconds passed, and I heard someone shout. Not someone but a couple of people. It seemed as if some people were fighting—screaming out of their lungs. ‘Get the hell out of here!’ a man shouted. ‘We had always known you don’t belong here!’ a boy shouted. ‘Dad, please, send him away!’ a girl cried. ‘He can’t stay with us anymore!’Following the shouting noises, I heard someone open the door of the neighbor’s terrace and slam it shut with full force. After that, a whimpering sound came from the outside, and it startled me to the core. Closing the book, finally, I jumped out of bed slowly and made my way toward the balcony. Even though it was none of my business, I could not stop myself from knowing what had happened. Conscious that I’d make noise, I slowly slid the balcony door and tiptoed outside, making my way towards the place where the whimpering sound was coming from.The cool wind blew through my hair as I walked towards the corner of my balcony, only to find my teen neighbor crying his heart out while sitting on the ledge of his balcony, which was a few yards away from mine. Daniyal, my teen neighbor, who also happened to be my batch mate from the academy we went to together after school, was crying in the middle of the night. Not crying. He was whimpering as if he was in a lot of pain. It was not surprising seeing him cry like that, though; I had seen him upset quite a few times earlier. However, tonight, his whimpering seemed somewhat different to me. His pain looked different. He looked like a small kid who appeared to be crying for milk. I wanted to know what had happened to him. I was curious to know what could have gone wrong now. I had never interfered in his life before. I never talked to him. I was not friends with him at all. We did not have any friendly relationship. We were just by the way neighbors who happened to go to the same academy after school. If only we had only shared conversations related to our study courses. Nothing more. Nothing less. But tonight, I felt like breaking the ice. I felt like asking him what had happened. I thought it was my responsibility to make sure he was doing fine. I wanted to clear my throat and ask him, ‘Hey, what happened? Are you okay?’ But words just could not form over my lips. I had my final exam tomorrow morning, and here I was preparing to have a conversation with my estranged teen neighbor. Before I could ask him what had happened to him, he looked up at me with his chin tucked between his legs and his arms folded across him. As soon as our eyes met, I felt something change around me. The air between us became tense, heavy with sadness. His eyes had turned sore with crying. My heart leaped out of my chest seeing him in that condition. I felt like holding his hand and telling him everything would be okay. There was so much agony in his stare, so much suffering. I did not know what problem he was going through, but I knew he was in pain. His eyes told me everything. He continued staring at me for a few seconds, and I did the same, but we did not exchange any words. Not even for a second, he flinched after knowing I had seen him crying. I was provoked to ask him what was wrong with him or whether he was doing okay, but I could not muster the courage. We only exchanged a long glance without saying anything. His silky hair fell over his forehead as the breeze passed through him. He tucked the hair aside with the stroke of his finger, his gaze not leaving mine. I thought he would turn away his gaze when he found out I had caught him crying, but he did not. He continued staring me back with intense eyes. Despite being strangers to each other and being oblivious to each other’s life problems, we shared an incredibly intimate moment in complete silence. I did not care what had happened to him or what problem he was into. I was still drawn to his innocence. Those eyes could not do wrong with anyone. He did not seem capable of harming anyone. Whatever accusations his folks were putting on him would be wrong. I was certain he was innocent. I could tell that just by looking into his eyes. Who knew that one long glance in the middle of the night was all it would take for me to fall in love with that boy. Chapter 1MishalFlour. Yeast. Sugar. Eggs. Butter. Milk. Vanilla extract. Vegetable oil. I had all the necessary ingredients to make glazed doughnuts at home. Honestly, making them was one thing, and shooting an entire video on how to make glazed doughnuts at home was another. Thanks to my fourteen-year-old brother, Rayaan, who helped me shoot my video tutorials. Apart from helping me, he could be super annoying sometimes. No, sorry, correction. Most of the time. But, it was hard to deny that he was also super helpful and cooperative. Especially, when it came to shooting the videos. I needed an extra pair of hands, and Rayaan was the one who always offered to help.  In case you are still confused about what I do and still guessing what could be my profession, then let me tell you everything. You might have guessed it right—I am a YouTuber chef. I make cooking tutorials on this popular video-sharing platform and teach people how to cook food. My job is to make cooking look as fun as possible. Thousands of my subscribers have repeatedly told me that they find my videos so helpful that I have made them learn cooking. Not to forget that my YouTube channel is about to hit 1 million subscribers. ‘Baaajiiii—ii—ii….’ I heard Rayaan screaming at the top of his lungs while I was busy preparing the batter for the doughnuts. The batter was almost ready in the flat beater machine, so I began to take it out in the pan and knead it. ‘What is it?’ I asked, tucking away the loose strand of my hair behind my ear with one hand. ‘I think we need to reshoot this segment again,’ he told me as he removed the phone from the ring light stand and showed me the screen. ‘I can take a better angle of your new flat beater.’I shook my head quickly. ‘Um, no, I think this looks fine. Let’s wrap up the video soon.’ ‘But…’‘No ifs and buts… Just do as I say.’‘Okay,’ he grumbled and went to stand behind the ring light again, setting the phone back in its place. I could not help but smile at him. I kneaded the dough enough to put it in the refrigerator for some time, allowing it to double in size. During that period, I asked Rayaan to complete his homework. Once the dough was ready and Rayaan wrapped up his homework, I asked him to resume the shoot. I took the dough out from the refrigerator and kneaded it again before I started making medium-sized doughnuts. We completed the shoot in the next hour and made delicious chocolate glazed doughnuts. ‘I want two! Please!’ Rayaan demanded animatedly. ‘Sure, you can have two, but let me take a good photo for my Instagram first.’ I took a decent-looking photo, making sure the doughnuts looked mouth-watering, and then posted it on my cooking account. ‘Here we go! That’s one Instagram-worthy photo, right?’ I asked Rayaan. ‘Yes, baaji. Now, please. Let me devour them!’ He almost begged me for them. Tapping lightly on his head, I handed a doughnut to him. ‘Make sure there’s no mess!’‘I promise!’ I washed the utensils, cleaned the flat beater properly, and cleared the mess on the kitchen counter before beginning to edit the video we just shot for my YouTube channel. As I edited the video, I made sure to add the captions in all the right places. Besides me, Rayaan was busy devouring the doughnuts I had just made, and my cat—Brownie—purred next to me on the couch. I caressed its fur with one hand and edited the video on my phone with the other. This was just one part of the job that I did. As soon as I realized I had garnered thousands of subscribers on YouTube and other social media platforms, I decided to start a small-scale home-based food business along with my mother. Yes, my mother. My father passed away when I was younger. He did leave us some savings in the bank account, but unfortunately, they weren’t enough to meet our ends. Before moving to Lahore, we had been living in Rahim Yar Khan. We had a huge house where we lived in the joint family system. My father was young when he had his first heart attack. Unfortunately, he could not survive it. My mother asked my uncle to give us my father’s share of the house so we could move to another city. She decided she could not raise us with my uncle’s family in the same place as we had so many differences from them. After my uncle gave my mother my father’s share of the property, she deposited the money into the bank account. She brought us to Lahore, a big, metropolitan city where she knew her kids could have a better, secure future. Besides, all my maternal relatives resided in Lahore. It was easier for us to adjust to the city as we could get to meet our maternal cousins whenever we wanted. We did not feel alone. Since we did not have a house of our own, my Maamu got us a rented house in a nice, clean and posh area of the city. It was not a big house but big enough for my family. As soon as my elder sister, Khadija, was done with her graduation, my Maamu found a good proposal and got her married. Despite her wanting to study more, she could not. It was her husband who made her dream come true and let him complete her Master’s degree after marriage. She now lived with her husband and a toddler in Karachi. At present, only my mother, my younger brother, and I lived in the rented house. It had been over a month since I had started this small setup on my own. For now, I was only catering to deliveries within Lahore. We started with a limited menu, only providing a select number of dishes. Because the lesser dishes we offered, the more time we could give to each of them and try to make them taste good. With the help of FoodPanda, a leading online food and grocery delivery platform, I registered my business on the internet. Through the app, I received orders from customers from all over the city and delivered them on time. So far, the business was going well. It wasn’t like I expected to become an overnight sensation because of this home-based food business. Whoever ordered from my restaurant ended up being satisfied and happy. Contrary to my expectations, the response wasn’t lukewarm, and it was everything I needed from my customers. ‘Mishi!’ Amma called me from the kitchen. ‘Jee, Amma?’ I replied while editing the tutorial on my phone. ‘We have just received an order for two alfredo pastas from Garden Town.’‘Got it, Amma. I’m going to get the order ready in a jiffy!’ Half-done with editing the tutorial, I put my phone on the coffee table and sprinted off into the kitchen to complete and pack the order.DanielA spectacular view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge calmed my eyes whenever I looked out of the window. It was the Friday night, so the city brimmed with buildings and skyscrapers, and the streets buzzed with cafes, bars, and clubs. In between breaks from work, I stood up from my chair, made myself some coffee, and walked towards the window bay to enjoy the stunning view of the city. Ever since the pandemic came into our lives, we were forced to stay indoors and maintain social distancing as much as we could. My company had also demanded us to stay indoors and work from home. I had been working remotely for the past few months now. Every other day, NSW set new COVID restrictions or extended the lockdown in the majority of the suburbs. It had become a routine now. Living in the COVID days had become the new normal. Because of that, I had confined myself in my studio apartment for many days now. Taking a sip from my coffee, I heard the sound of a new email alert on my computer. I returned to the work desk and clicked on the new email notification. It was an email from my supervisor. It wasn’t anything serious, just something related to work. I replied to his email and closed the email software. As I took another sip from my coffee, my cell phone buzzed on the desk. A new WhatsApp message from my Dad popped on the screen. I squinted hard on the screen to reconfirm whether it was from my Dad or someone else. Receiving a message from him was a rarity. So I had to double-check whether it was really from him. So, it turned out it was really from him. Chewing my lower lip (I did this every time I was nervous; childhood habit), I tapped on the message to read its content. G’day, mate, how are you going? Why don’t you come home over dinner?It wasn’t normal for my Dad to send me a text message like this one. He usually checked on me or contacted me, for that matter, only when he had to ask for something. I knew him really well. He wasn’t a reliable person if you ask me. My Dad was Aussie, yes—he was Australian. He was born in Sydney and had lived here ever since. By profession, he was a mechanical engineer. He owned a car workshop where he looked after car repair and maintenance. Financially, he was doing well. When he divorced my mother, who happened to be a Pakistani Muslim, he stayed single for a few years and married an Australian woman. Now, they had two teen daughters. After the divorce, both my parents decided to share my custody. I was only 12 at that time and could not understand what exactly was happening. So, right after separation, Mum brought me to Lahore, her hometown. She got me enrolled in a reputable school, and made me study there for a few years. Leaving behind with my Dad was not a possibility for Mum because she knew he wasn’t reliable when it came to a child’s upbringing. The sound of another notification alert broke my reverie. My supervisor had sent me a new email in the same thread we had been communicating about a new project since morning. Ignoring my Dad’s WhatsApp message, I started typing a reply to my supervisor. I picked up the mug again to take another sip of my coffee, only to realize it was empty. I needed more coffee to keep myself awake and fresh. The clock on my computer showed that it was 5 p.m. past already, and my shift had ended. I was glad I did not have to work for another two days and enjoy the weekend all to myself. After notifying my supervisor, I signed off from the computer and got up from the chair. I brewed another cup of coffee from the espresso machine and seated myself on the couch. The LED TV was already on, some random football match being aired on it. I flicked the channels aimlessly from the remote until I received another notification alert on my cell phone. It could not be another message from my Dad, could it? However, when I checked my phone, I was surprised to find out that it wasn’t a new message from Dad but a new notification from the dating app I had just installed last night. A playful smile flickered across my face as I tapped the notification and found out that I had matched with someone on the app. It was a 21-year-old girl named Natalie from the suburb Putney. I realized she was only a few kilometers away from Concord, the suburb where I lived. As we had already matched on the app, I could send her a message, so I typed one in the next second. Daniel: Hey, how ya goin’? Natalie: I’m good, you?Daniel: How’s your weekend goin’?Natalie: It’s goin’ heaps good. Wanna meet up? Daniel. Sure, where?Natalie: Spot Nightclub? 9 p.m.?Sure: I’ll be there. Natalie: Check out my photos properly so that you can recognize me ;)Daniel: Haha, don’t worry. I have seen you properly to be able to recognize you. See ya! Natalie: See ya! This conversation with Natalie excited me so much that I could not contain my excitement. Not that I was highly attracted to her photos and her profile (which, of course, I was because she was damn pretty and hot), but I was actually excited to head out and enjoy the nightlife of the city. I had been locked inside my apartment for weeks. Now that the government had lifted the lockdown and opened the bars and clubs, I could finally go out and have the time of my life. I took a quick shower, grabbed some nice clothes from my closet, and got ready within minutes. My hair was already a mess, so I did not give much time to set them. I ran my fingers through my hair until I was sure I looked fine. Before heading out of my apartment, I did not forget to put on some nice cologne over myself. I wanted to make sure I smelled good. I did not want to put off Natalie in any way. Grabbing the keys, wallet, and cell phone, I headed out of the apartment and closed the door behind me.I drove the car through the hustle and bustle of the city. It felt great to be back on the streets after weeks of lockdown and staying locked inside the apartment. I realized it wasn’t just me who felt the same but almost every other Aussie behind the steering wheel felt exactly like that. I pulled the car into the parking lounge just outside the nightclub and got out of the car. Before heading inside, I decided to check on Natalie and tell her I was already there. Daniel: I’m here. Wbu? She replied to me almost instantly. Natalie: I’m inside. Whr r u? Without replying to her message, I decided to go inside the club and greet her in person. The nightclub brimmed with people, half drunk and half sane. I scanned through the entire club, but my eyes could not catch Natalie. Where was she? I kept searching for her in that place. All I could see were the faces of different people, but she was nowhere to be seen. Just then, my eyes struck on a blondie who seemed familiar with the photos I’d seen of Natalie on the app. She was leaning on the bar counter, a drink in her hand. She seemed to be enjoying watching people dance on the floor. As I moved closer to her amid the crowd, I caught her attention. She passed me a flirtatious smile as soon as our eyes locked. I managed to get through the crowd, bumping into people every now and then, and finally reached the bar counter just where she was standing, waiting for me. ‘Hey,’ I said, smiling crookedly and leaning slightly on the bar counter. ‘So you finally recognized me,’ she said with a smile. Her smile was vibrant, full of life. I was attracted to her smile instantly. I nodded with a smirk. ‘Had to. I don’t easily forget pretty faces.’‘I’m stoked, mate!’ she grinned. ‘Thanks.’ She swayed her head lightly to the music, her body bouncing with the beats. I grinned at myself for being such a flirt around her. From her accent, I could tell she was a native. I had forgotten how to be around girls anymore. Another disadvantage of being locked inside your apartment for days. I followed her gaze and looked at the crowd going crazy on the dance floor. ‘Should I get you a coldie?’ I asked to distract her. ‘For sure!’ She looked me in the eye and smiled at me. I ordered two coldies and offered her one. ‘Thanks, mate.’ She clicked her glass with mine, and we both had it in one go. She put the beer glass on the counter and leaned a bit closer to me. ‘What’s the next plan now?’ she whispered into my ear. ‘You tell me,’ I said, looking back at her. ‘What do ya wanna do?’She was leaning too close to me that I could smell the fragrance on her. It was a fruity smell, one that I liked. Being this close allowed me to observe her carefully.‘Mmhmm.’ She leaned further closer so that I could actually feel her breath and scent on me. She caressed her finger on the tip of my nose and then slowly dragged it towards my upper lip. ‘Why don’t you tell me what you want?’ I closed my eyes while she played with me and then opened them. ‘I want to get inside your fucking pants,’ I whispered, my lips closer to hers. Before hearing her response, she locked her lips with mine and kissed me hard until I was completely turned on. Without wasting another minute, I grabbed her hand and dragged her outside the nightclub. We could not get our hands off each other and kept making out all the way to my apartment. She had engaged me in an intense kiss as I unlocked the apartment door with my keys and got her inside. As soon as we reached the bed, she started taking her clothes off, including her bra and knickers, and then she just pushed me down on the bed. I was amazed at her audacity because I felt she was in complete control and not me. She got on top of me playfully and started to take off my shirt. With her help, I took off my shirt and threw it away. Then she unzipped my jeans, and I lowered them until they came off. She started planting cool kisses on my neck and chest, making me hard. Within a few seconds, I was fully turned on. I rolled her onto the bed and pushed her into the mattress, putting my arms around her sides. She laughed as I changed positions with her. I held her both arms tightly and saw how her body squirmed beneath me. ‘Wait a sec,’ I told her. I got off her and pulled out the drawer of the nightstand to get the packet of condoms. I tore open the packet and rolled the condom over my cock. She kept watching me with desire in her eyes. I came back on top of her, and she put her arms over her head so I could grab them. ‘Fuck me already!’ she insisted, her breath becoming ragged. I watched her breasts rise and collapse as she breathed. Just when I was about to enter her, my phone buzzed on the nightstand. ‘What the fuck!’ I groaned. ‘Ignore. Get inside me!’ she instructed repeatedly. I could have ignored the call had I not seen the caller’s name on my phone’s screen. It was Mum. She was calling me from Pakistan. I hardly ignored her calls or messages. I stared at the phone screen for a few seconds until the ring ended. Before I could decide what to do, the phone started ringing again. I had to take the call, no matter what. I got off from Natalie and picked up the phone. In the background, Natalie yelled at me from the bed.  ‘Hello?’ I answered, looking away from her. ‘Daniyal, it’s me, Hammad.’It was not common for Hammad, my step brother, to call me at odd times. In fact, he never called me at all. So what was it about?‘I know. Is everything okay?’ I asked.‘It’s about your Mom.’My heartbeat stopped right there. ‘What about her?’He said after a pause. ‘She’s not well. We think she got COVID. She needs you here. Can you get here ASAP?’I did not need to say anything to him. Because I knew what I had to do. I had to be with her. As soon as I could.Â