chapter 4

Chapter 4MishalIt was the weekend, and I was burdened with so many orders through the Foodpanda app. Even though Amma helped me prepare a lot of meals, I was still running behind on time. Worried, I did not know if I could prepare all the meals in time and deliver all the orders that night. In the middle of topping the pizza dough with chicken chunks, lots of cheese, olives, and veggies, I received a call from Sana, my best friend since college. I could not avoid picking up her call. No matter how busy or tight my schedule was, I could not ignore her call. ‘Hey,’ I said as I answered the call, cradling the phone against my shoulder so my hands were free and I was able to put the pizza into the oven. ‘What’s up? Where are you lost?’ she asked on the other end of the line. ‘Lost in work, as usual.’ I rolled my eyes and closed the oven. ‘When am I going to hear you say that you are lost in a guy!’ she chuckled. ‘Just shut up, Sana. You know that’s never going to happen. Not in this lifetime, at least.’ I double-checked the oven’s temperature to ensure the heat was right and my pizza did not burn. ‘Why do you always sound so pessimistic? Everything is possible.’‘Acha, suno, are you free right now? I asked, cutting her in between. ‘Right now? It’s already evening.’‘I want you to come here ASAP and help me with the orders. They’re so many!’ I cried, slouching on the kitchen stool and feeling an ache in my shoulders and back. ‘Don’t worry, Mishie. I’ll be there in a bit. See you!’I put the phone on the kitchen countertop and bowed my head to rest my jaw on the countertop surface. A strange kind of anxiety kicked in, and I did not understand why. ***I woke up with a startle at the sound of the doorbell. It must be Sana on the door. When I checked the time on my phone, I realized I had passed out for about fifteen minutes, and yet it seemed I was out for hours. Yet I did not feel any better. The throbbing pain in my neck and shoulders was still intact. It was only then I realized my pizza was still in the oven. I rushed towards the oven to take a look at the pizza, and it was nearly ready. I sighed in relief. Outside in the lounge, I heard Amma ask Rayaan to open the door. Then, I heard her footsteps as she tiptoed into the kitchen, her hands resting on her hips. She passed me a curious stare. ‘What?’ I asked with a shrug. ‘Why did you have to call Sana at this time? That too while we are in the middle of the Coronavirus?’I sighed. ‘Amma, it’s just Sana. She doesn’t have any virus, shirus. She’s fine, and you know that.’‘Hmph.’ she expressed annoyance. I leaned on the countertop. ‘Amma, I needed help with the orders. I can’t do it on my own; they’re like too many.’‘Beta, you had anticipated that this was going to happen. We can hire some help.’Just then, Sana appeared in the kitchen, a smile plastered on her face. She greeted Amma and then gave me a long hug. ‘Beta, please maintain a six-foot distance,’ Amma protested. ‘It’s okay, aunty. I don’t have any flu shlu.’Amma shook her head in dismay and then left us alone in the kitchen. ‘Thank you for coming, Sana. I would have gone crazy if you stood me up.’‘How could I? Just let me know what needs to be done first.’ She stood behind the countertop, ready to help me out. I grinned at her. ‘Okay boss.’I opened the notebook where I had noted down all the orders I had received that day and marked the orders check that were complete and dispatched. We started working on the remaining ones. I prepared the mince for the chicken burgers, whereas Sana helped me fry the French fries. ‘Hey, how’s Nigar aunty doing now? Did she get any better?’ Sana asked. I made the chicken patties with my hands, giving them a proper shape. ‘She’s recovering.’‘I think I saw a visitor outside her house before coming here.’The hair on my skin stood up when I heard her say that and raised a brow. ‘Visitor?’She nodded as she stirred the fries with the strainer ladle spoon. ‘Who was it?’ I probed her, leaving the work midway. ‘A guy, for sure. Faired skin, quite tall, light brown hair. I can’t describe his features as his face was covered behind a mask.’Could it be Daniyal? ‘He certainly looked like some foreigner.’Now, I was certain. It was Daniyal whom she saw. Nigar aunty’s son was a foreigner, an Australian national to be precise. I nodded. ‘That’s Daniyal, Nigar aunty’s son.’Her mouth fell open. ‘What?’I nodded again, my heart thudding loudly against my chest. I could not believe Sana saw him before I could. I was slightly disappointed even though I should not be. ‘Was that really him?’ she asked. ‘Amma told me he had to visit to check on her mother, so it must be him.’ I distracted myself and began making the chicken patties again. ‘I can’t believe it. He has become so handsome now! Pura angrez hai (he’s a complete foreigner)!’I looked at her and shrugged. ‘Maybe.’‘And, Mishie, he is too tall! Must be taller than 6 feet!’I half-smiled. ‘I’m sure. He was way taller than his age when he was like 16.’‘Did you see him?’ Sana asked, getting the fries out of the Karahi pan and putting them on the plate after draining the oil. I set the chicken patties on the tray one by one. ‘No, I haven’t.’‘Oh, you must!’ she squealed with joy. ‘Sana, can we please change the topic now?’ I said, becoming annoyed. She grimaced. ‘What happened now?’‘We have so much work to do. Can you please hurry up?’‘But I’m already done with the first batch.’‘You still have two more batches to go. So, please, hurry up.’She pouted. ‘Fine.’I figured that was the only way to change the topic and not let her talk about Daniyal. Thinking of him, I could not believe he was already here. He was just right across the wall, in the next house. We were only a few steps apart from each other. I wondered if he still remembered me.  DanielA young man, probably a servant, opened the door to welcome us. He greeted me briefly and gestured for me to come inside. Carrying the backpack on my shoulders and dragging the suitcase, I stepped into the lounge. Khalid Butt, my Mum’s husband, was already present in the lounge, sitting on the couch. Mounted on the wall, the TV was on, and some cricket match was playing. Perhaps Khalid Butt was watching that game. When he saw him, his face went blank. Perhaps he was also thinking of the same thing as I was. Perhaps the memories of that unfortunate moment flashed in front of his eyes just like it happened with me. I had no idea if he would ever wanted to meet me or even see my face, for that matter, because I knew he held strong resentment towards me after that unfortunate moment. And I wasn’t even expecting him to meet me. It was not like I was interested in meeting him anyway. I disliked him and his family. That’s about it. To my surprise, he stood on his feet and came forward to shake my hands. I was a bit shocked at his gesture. After all the animosity he held against me all these years, I had not expected him to see my face, let alone shake hands with me. So when he came forward to shake hands with me, I revolted and instantly shook my head right away, indicating that we weren’t allowed to shake hands during COVID-19. Instead, I offered to greet him by touching our elbows. He grinned at my gesture and came forward to touch his elbow with mine. ‘I hope you had a nice journey,’ Khalid Butt said flatly. Of course, I could still feel the animosity he had for me. ‘Yes, I did, thanks,’ I said through the face mask. It seemed only I was the one who was wearing a mask in this house. Khalid Butt nodded and then looked at me from top to button, observing me closely. His gaze made me a bit uncomfortable. ‘Uh, I’d like to see Mum. Where is she?’ I asked. Hammad joined us in the lounge. ‘She’s in her bedroom, right there.’ He pointed across the room. ‘You can see her from afar. Don’t get too close to her. She’s still got the virus.’‘I’ll decide about that,’ I told him. I took the backpack off my shoulders and set it aside and the other suitcase. Slowly, I made my way towards Mum’s bedroom. The door was closed, so I decided to give a slight knock on it. On the other end of the door, I heard Mum’s frail voice, asking to come inside, clueless about who might be on the door. Slowly, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I found her sitting on the bed, a tray of food set in front of her. Her face lit up when she saw me, her eyes becoming teary. Surprisingly, I had also become emotional when I saw her. We were seeing each other after a decade. Even though I did have video calls with her on special occasions, it was nothing compared to the feeling I got after seeing her live in front of me. I wanted to run towards her and take her into my arms. I missed that motherly feeling I always used to get when she was around me. I had forgotten how it felt to be in my Mum’s arms. She shook her head lightly, tears flowing down her pale cheeks. She had become so weak in the last few years. The virus had affected a lot physically. ‘I told you not to come,’ she said slowly in a feeble voice. ‘I couldn’t hold myself back,’ I said with a shrug. Cutting her gaze from me, she looked for something on her nightstand. I narrowed my eyes in confusion.‘Where did she keep it? It was here yesterday,’ she mumbled to herself.‘What are you lookin’ for?’ I asked her. ‘The mask. I kept it right here the last night.’‘You don’t need to wear it. As long as I’m wearing it, we’re good.’‘Daniyal, you don’t understand. I can’t let you stay in this room while I sit here without a mask. I am infected with the virus.’‘Daniel,’ I corrected her out of old habit. ‘The name is Daniel. Please pronounce it correctly.’‘Whatever, Daniyal.’ Mum pronounced the name in the same way as she always did. She could be so stubborn sometimes. I sighed. ‘I missed you, Mum.’ Another big fat tear rolled down her cheek. ‘I missed you too, my baby. You have become so taller!’I nodded at her proudly. ‘6’5 to be exact.’Mum smiled, teary-eyed. ‘My baby’s all grown up. I wish I could hug you.’‘You will.’ I took a seat on the couch in her room. ‘But, for that, you need to get all right first.’‘I’m much better now,’ she reassured. ‘I’m gonna make sure that you do.’‘How long are you here for?’ ‘Two months, or maybe less. I don’t know, really.’‘Just stay here a bit longer. I want to spend time with you as much as I can.’‘Likewise, Mum. Likewise.’ I nodded. ***Mum did not let me stay inside her room for long. She sent me outside, asking me to settle in the room and freshen up. When I came out, Hammad asked me if I was hungry and wanted to eat something. I refused him, saying that I did not feel like eating anything. It seemed like I had already started experiencing a certain kind of nostalgic depression. Also, my arms and legs felt wobbly. I wanted to rest. I wanted to lie down on some bed. ‘Come, I’ll take you to your room.’ Hammad offered. As we ascended the staircase, with the suitcase in my hands and backpack slung on my shoulders, I reflected if he would lead me to the same room where I used to sleep back in the day. Once we got upstairs and he walked me through the hallway, I realized he was taking me to the same room. I wondered if that room had been vacant all these years. Out of nowhere, a girl walked out of another room and stopped midway after seeing us, particularly me. How could I possibly forget her? Because of her, I got kicked out of this house, out of my Mum’s life. Because of her, I was forced to stay with my alcoholic Dad when I moved back to Australia. Fariha. How could I possibly forget what she did to me? The tension in the hallway was palpable, and nobody chose to speak anything. Fariya kept looking at me in amazement or mortification; I could not tell. Just then, Hammad broke the silence by clearing his throat. ‘Here’s your room, Daniyal.’ I tore my gaze from Fariha and looked at Hammad. ‘The same room, huh?’ Hammad nodded, and I could tell he was trying to smile behind that face mask. He opened the door and gestured for me to go inside. ‘You should get some rest,’ he told me. Fariha sulked behind him. ‘Sure, mate. Thanks.’ I patted him on the back and stepped inside the room, a sudden feeling of nostalgia arresting me. ‘The dinner will be ready in a while. Let me know if you’re hungry. I can bring it upstairs for you. I’ll be downstairs.’‘No, mate, thanks. I’m stuffed.’ ‘Okay, let me know if you need anything.’‘Sure.’Outside my room, I saw Hammad whispering something into Fariha’s ear and she grimaced in response. They left after that brief, silent conversation. I closed the door and then looked around the room, realizing it was still the same, more or less. The walls were still painted with a pale blue paint, albeit fresh. The large window that led into the balcony was still covered with grey curtains. The only thing that had changed in this room was the furniture. The old bedroom set was replaced with a new one. On the opposite side of the bed, a velvety couch was set against the wall. A study table in the corner stood with a table lamp set on top. I took off the backpack and placed it on the bed as I scanned all across the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I recalled all the good and bad times I had spent being in this room. ‘Dad, he doesn’t deserve to live in this house. Please ask him to get the hell out of here!’ Hammad yelled in anger. ‘How dare he harm my daughter?’ Khalid Butt joined in, looking at me in disgust. Fariya kept crying and gasping for more breath. A faint sound coming from outside the balcony window interrupted my thoughts. Drawing the curtains apart, I unlocked the balcony window and slid it open so I could walk through it and step into the balcony. Despite the warm weather, the air outside was cool against my face. I strolled across the terrace lazily, gazing at the neighborhood and the houses around ours. I leaned against the terrace railing, looking over at the skyline, and then slowly removed the face mask from my face. I fished a cigarette pack out of my jeans pocket and lit one with the help of a lighter. As I took a long drag, I looked around, and suddenly, my eyes caught the attention of a bespectacled young woman on the terrace adjoined to ours. With her hair tied up in a bun, she sat on a swing chair, a book cradled in her hands and a cat curled up on her lap. It dawned on me that perhaps she had been watching me for quite some time now since I came out onto the terrace. We locked each other’s gaze, not wanting to tear our eyes apart. As I continued staring back at her, she blinked her eyes several times and then looked away. I looked away for a second, almost flustered. I did not know why I kept staring back at her. Out of curiosity, I looked at her side again, but she was not there. She vanished into thin air, leaving me disappointed. Did she go back in? Did I make her uncomfortable by staring at her like some creep?