Chapter Steeling Her: EPILOGUE THREE

The heat from the sun is beginning to burn my skin, even though we have umbrellas down where we’re camped out. It’s because of the constant hiding we have to do from the paparazzi around us. I have to move around a lot to shield myself and the kids.

Danielle, Chris, Haley, TJ, myself, and Nick are all at Clearwater Beach in Florida. We all decided to do a big family vacation down to the south during the off season for two weeks. We were originally going to fly to the Caribbean but then changed our minds at the last minute. We knew the kids wouldn’t appreciate it as much now, only when they’re much older.

Mainly, all the kids wanted to go to Disneyland because none of them have had the chance because of busy schedules and events. It was hard to coordinate everyone’s schedule but we made it work. They have been so excited since Chris mentioned “Disney.” They got so hyper for it, it became difficult to keep them settled during the flight. We just couldn’t say no to them.

We went to the theme park yesterday for the very first time, and they were all so unbelievably excited to see Mickey and the gang. Taylor adored the princesses and the rides that she was tall enough to get on. The younger munchkins mainly stayed at the outdoor play centers that was next to the restaurants so we could keep an eye on them.

The good thing about the park is that it caters to kids of all ages, so they have a wide variety of options to choose. The adults that went really enjoyed the day out, especially when they got to see the happy faces of the kids. All in all, was a great day trip for us.

I am currently lying in the sun, watching people around us take photos of us and acting like we can’t see them, mainly photos of the guys on the beach. I’ve become so accustomed to it, Nick just ignores it as best as he can.

I understand that Nick, Chris, and TJ are famous because of the sport that they play—their faces are everywhere with sponsorships and endorsement deals—but sometimes, I just want some alone time with my family and friends. I’m normally fine with it, but I really don’t like it when the kids can be seen. I want to be able to keep them out of the media as much as possible. I want to keep their privacy as much as I can until they are old enough to make their own decisions.

I have my beige sun hat on to block the rays as best as I can and also to block the pictures being taken of me in my lilac bathing suit and black sandals. I brought a ton of snacks, water, and sun block for everyone, too, so we’ve covered all the bases.

I’m distracted with keeping my eye on everyone as they play with each other in the sun-baked beach.

Below me, I feel a small hand tug on my towel with all the strength he has in him to get my attention.

“Hey, buddy,” I say down to him. He pulls himself up using the support of the sunbed I’m on and stands up so he’s a little more level with me. “You building Mama a great big sandcastle?” I ask my son, Aiden.

His bright, whispy blond hair flies around with the gentle breeze. I lift him up so his feet are on my thighs and place him down on top of me. That big devilish grin of his is just like his dad’s, dimples included.

I can’t help it sometimes. He looks exactly the same as Nick was as a kid. My child is full of energy, just like his dad.

He loves the football that his uncles gave him for his recent birthday when he turned two. Ever since he got it, he never puts it down. His dad, uncles, and granddads have already started training him, and scouting is about to begin.

With his yellow swim trunks on and his adorable grin, I know my boy will break a few hearts when he’s older. I sometimes cannot keep up with him. Every time I bring him out, he starts running and I have to go and catch him. At least Nick is always on the ball with him.

Like father, like son, right?

“You like building sandcastles?” I bounce him on my legs and he starts to giggle.

“Football.” He points at the ball resting in the sand in its netted bag.

“You want to play some football?” I ask him and sigh to myself. I know he’ll climb off me anyway if I wasn’t going to get up from the bed. I lift him up into my arms and then go up from the bed. I wander over to the netted bag where all the toys and play things are, including his football.

I crouch down and reach inside the bag to get it for him. Once I hand it to him, he smiles happily. I walk him over to TJ, who is busy with the twins, Reece and Logan, who are just shy of four years of age. They look almost exactly like TJ, it’s crazy. Logan is wild while Reece is very shy, but both kids have one thing in common: they are very athletic, just like their dad.

We call them “running backs in training.” They have TJ’s power and drive when they play the game. They just constantly run all the time, especially away from you when you’re trying to get a hold of them.

“Throw it and you will be in time out, you hear m—LOGAN! I mean it!” TJ has become such a great dad. His kids adore him because he’s still partially a child himself.

Logan is a little rough around the edges at times, but he has a great mom to keep an eye on him. Sometimes, she doesn’t even have to be around him to know he’s up to no good. There’s no better woman for the job.

“LOGAN! Put it down now! You heard Daddy!” Haley yells over her magazine in a no-nonsense tone that the kids don’t ever mess with. Logan drops the shell that he was about to throw at his brother. I snort, and TJ smiles once he turns around to see me coming closer with Aiden in my arms.

“Look who it is.” He grins and tickles Aiden under his chin, making him chuckle loudly in my arms. “The newest Chargers quarterback. You got your football all ready to go, buddy?” TJ points to the ball in his hands. Aiden squirms out of my arms and I set him down on the sand gently and prepare myself for him to take off. He races into the ocean, where his dad and sister are swimming around.

The first thing I did once the kids could walk was put them in swimming lessons. I don’t want my fear to get to them. I have mastered the pool but not the ocean as of yet. It took me years to get the hang of it, and I’m still practicing. I don’t swim with my head under the water, but I can swim in the deep end of the pool now.

“Wait for it. He’ll be back out and ready to run around the beach with his uncles and cousins covered in sand,” I huff. TJ rests a hand on his chest and laughs.

“I can swap you Logan,” he offers and I snort, brushing the hair off my face.

“Not a chance,” I say and bump his shoulder. I wiggle my toes so that they sink into the damp sand we’re both standing on, keeping an eye on the kids.

I can see Riley, our daughter, playing with Nick and Taylor in the ocean. Nick gave a lot of time to Taylor ever since they met. Taylor loves spending time with him, and Nick sometimes takes her and Riley out for dinner and ice cream to spend time with them, seeing as they’re the only girls in the family. They’re outnumbered with four little boys.

I look at my watch to see what time it is; it’s already lunch time.

“You guys hungry?” I ask TJ.

“Starving,” TJ responds while keeping an eye on Logan. He’s a lot to handle but is exactly like his mother. He’s a good kid, just crazy at times, often at the wrong moment. He just gets bored far too easily, that’s the problem. He’s always wanting to do something else, trying something different, be somewhere else. He cannot sit still. “Right, bud?” TJ strokes Reece’s, the younger of the twins, head as he makes his way over closer to his dad.

“I got some food ordered from the restaurant. It’ll come down in the next few minutes, that good?” I bend down to speak to Reece, who is super shy. “I got you some nuggets and pasta with some butter.” I smile and he grins back at me once he knows I got his favorite right. “And you, mister”—I face his twin, who is busy collecting shells in the sand—“I got you mozzarella sticks with red sauce and some breaded chicken strips with ranch and honey mustard sauce.” Those series of words hypnotizes them, until Nick comes out of the water.

“Chris!” Nick yells at my brother and holds up the football. “TJ?” He does the same to his best friend. I know what’s about to begin. They’re all going to play some beach football with the kids.

“I’ll get the food ready.” I roll my eyes and begin to walk back to the sunbeds where Danielle is now sitting with her book in hand, completely soaked from having a dip in the water.

“You can always come and play?” TJ teases me as Riley comes up to my side.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you guys,” I joke back as I walk with Riley back to the sunbeds. “You going to play, sweetie?” I ask her and she nods. I can see the sun has been beating down hard on her, her shoulders are beginning to turn a shade of bright pink.

“Yeah.” She’s breathing heavily because she’s trying to catch up with me after being in the water with Nick and Taylor for most of the day.

“I need to put more sunblock on your shoulders, okay? Just five minutes while you catch your breath.” I chuckle at the wet hair stuck to her red cheeks, tired from playing with Nick and her cousin in the ocean. She loves the water. If I can’t find her in the house, she’s most definitely in the pool. She is going to be one tired little girl later on tonight, and so will Aiden, but that makes them sleep better.

“Okay.” She exhales. She doesn’t want to do it but she knows it’ll hurt even more if she doesn’t put more on.

“Nick, I need to put some sunscreen on your shoulders and back too!” I walk past both of them to get the cream from the bag that has been kept out of the sun.

I wipe away the water from her shoulders with the towel so the sunblock sticks better and spray some across Riley’s shoulders. I lift up each strap of her bathing suit to get underneath too. I wipe her dark-blonde hair to the side as I try to get it everywhere for her so she can play the game. “Give it two minutes, okay? It needs time to dry,” I tell her before she’s allowed to do anything. She sits on the bed with Taylor as they drink some water.

“Nick!” I call him over and turn my finger around to tell him to turn his back to me. I spray a smaller amount on him, enough to get the job of protecting his skin done. He’s always telling me how much he doesn’t need sunscreen but I don’t listen to it. I still coat him with it and tell him to deal with it. He’ll thank me when he’s older.

I rub the cream onto his back, making sure I cover him enough as I feel the heat radiate from the burn on his upper back and shoulders. I reach up and kiss him on the back on his neck to tell him he’s good to go with letting it dry.

Chris is down near shore, setting the sand up for the mini football game they’re all going to play. The girls in the family all give them a run for their money too. Once the kids are ready, teams were picked.

Nick, Aiden, Logan, and Chris versus TJ, Taylor, Riley, and Reece.

Little Colton Steel is only a little shy of six months old, so can’t play with the older kids or be around them too much. He is always clinging on to Danielle’s hip. Right now, he’s resting in his portable bed beside his mom.

Colton was a bundle of joy when he was born. I couldn’t wait to meet him. He’s a good kid but he’s always in places he shouldn’t be in. Colton is the very definition of a curious child. A mini Chris, some might say.

Danielle continues to reach her hand across to the bed and rocks him ever so gently to coax him back to sleep thanks to the hustle and bustle the older kids were making.

“HIKE!” Nick yells and snatches the ball, handing it off to Aiden so he can run, although a little unsteady, to the end zone for the first touchdown of the game. I just know Nick is going to get him into a junior football team when he gets older despite me warning him to let him make the choice. I have a feeling he’ll be following in his father’s footsteps anyway. It’s in the kid’s blood from both sides of the family.

All the kids run around to get their hands on the ball before he reaches the end zone, but he has the protection of his dad and Uncle Chris. TJ doesn’t even bother to take the shine away from Aiden. When his little legs finally reach the line, he throws it down on the sand and raises both hands up to celebrate. A massive cheer lets out before they start it all over again. Haley calls for the ball to come back to the center for another round as referee of the game.

It isn’t long until the food I had ordered for everyone arrives. Large platters for the adults to share with a concoction of cocktails in large pitchers and smaller, individualized meals for the kids were coming down one by one. The waiters start to lay the dishes out on the small canopy table that is located behind us in the shade that we have rented for the day.

We wanted a place where we can cool quickly while still being quite private. We can draw the dark curtains to shield us from the cameras. I offer to help them out as more hands are better with this sort of thing.

I separate the food and drinks for the adults and kids on the large table for the whole family.

Once it’s ready, I call for everyone to stop the game and come over for some lunch. The kids race each other. Thankfully, they don’t fall over in the process. I place them in their seats and bring a highchair next to Danielle in case Colton wakes up and is hungry. When she brings him over with her, he’s crying after having been woken up from his nap. She starts gently bouncing him up and down to try and soothe him.

“Alright, you guys need anything else?” the waiter standing next to me with trays under their arm asks.

“No, I think you managed to remember everything. Thank you.” I smile just as the men joins us while Haley attends to the twins, warning Logan to behave as Reece stands silently next to his mother, holding her hand.

“You’re welcome. If you need anything, just push the button and someone will be right over.” He nods before leaving. I thank him once more before I feel two big arms wrap around my hips from behind me. The owner plants a large kiss on my cheek.

“Thank you for organizing this, little one.” I smile at the deepness of Nick’s voice and the fact he used my special nickname. He’s tired, and I can tell by how out of breath he is. The sun has been beating down on everyone today. There will be a few sleepy heads over at dinner tonight. If anyone wants to have an nap in the shade later after lunch they can. There are shaded lounge chairs in our canopy that can be extended if needed.

“No problem,” I whisper and turn my head around to kiss him on the lips. “But you need to stay hydrated today. It’s hot out there and I don’t think I’ve seen you or the girls drink enough. I don’t want anyone getting a sunstroke.” I point to his seat where some energy drinks with electrolytes are. I specifically ordered these for the guys since they’re in the sun more with the kids. I ordered extra drinks to put in the cooler for later on, too, just to keep the hydration levels up. “You barely drank anything all day.” I kiss him once more before we walk around to sit in our seats. The adults are at one end while the kids are at the other. We’re keeping a close eye on them, though.

“I will. Thank you for taking care of me, like always.” A small kiss is planted on my temple as a sign that he is grateful for the food and drinks. He rubs my back before taking his seat, sighing in delight as he does.

“Is this the blue lagoon one?” Haley points to the blue cocktail pitcher I ordered for all of us to have along with many others.

“Yes, and that one is the margarita and that’s the red fire dragon that you tried the other night and liked, Chris.” He grunts with happiness, his mouth full of nachos, as he fist bumps the air. Danielle sends a deadpan look my way in response to her husband’s silliness.

Nick’s hand finds its home as he rests it on my inner thigh, like he has always done since we reconnected and started to date again. It’s his thing, and I’m not entirely sure he realizes he’s doing it. I’ve never pointed it out to him. He’ll be conscious about it and would stop doing it. I don’t want that.

Once the kids settle from their loud and raucous banter, the silence is comforting. Everyone is enjoying their food. I know they are a hungry bunch of kids, the husbands included. As I look around the table, I enjoy the sight of all the kids getting along and all the adults eating while keeping a watchful eye on them. It’s peaceful, like most times we all sit together. When food is involved, it’s sometimes easier to manage people.

After the kids finish eating, all hell breaks loose, but I relish in the limited time of serenity. Even if they can be a pain, I also relish the time kids are just being . . . well, kids. They all grow up so fast, and I want good memories for them.

We all have our own families, kids, problems, memories, and more. We all help one another out. We’re all family here, and that’s the way it’ll always be. The Jacksons, the Steels, and the Andersons, we’re one big package deal. You get one, you get us all.

The adults stay at the table and continue to eat, everyone helps themselves to the meal made by the beach shack behind us. There is a good variety of options for the kids, which is great because some of them are picky eaters.

We rarely do this sort of thing. Vacationing is hard to do with others due to time and commitments, but I know when it happens, everyone enjoys themselves. I’m glad we were able to do this, its brought us all even closer than we were before.

This is one of the days I will never forget. It’s so simple, but I have really enjoyed it along with being here with everyone I love. I have Nick, Aiden, and Riley with me. That’s all I could ever want in my life, but having my extended family here as well makes it even better. Pure and true happiness comes from them, despite having the ability to drive me crazy, but I like a little crazy—life would be so boring otherwise.

If there is one thing that I can tell you, being married with kids and being able to spend this time with all of my family who were once friends, and even strangers to me at one point, is priceless. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.

I’ve learned that every relationship you will have will have its ups and downs. It’s part of life, you just have to choose if it’s all worth it to you at the end of the day. If you want to fight for it or if you want to walk away, that’s your choice and nobody else’s.

We all make mistakes—we’re human at the end of the day, so we shouldn’t criticize each other so harshly, but we still do when there are feelings involved. There’s no perfect way to handle that. The best way that I’ve dealt with it is to remember the human part of a person and treat them with the kindness you have. I’m still learning all of this, and still have a long way to go, just like everyone. What I’ve learned growing up is what I’m trying to instill in my own kids. I want them to understand love when they come to that age and not to be afraid of it.

One day, I will tell them story about me and Nick and show them that it’s not easy being in love. It takes work, resilience, and a lot of patience.

So, the advice I would give them is, as cliché as it all sounds, stay true to yourself and your character because it will serve you in time. You will find the right person for you if you do. You will be comfortable in who you are as an individual and who you are as a couple. You’ll have your highs and lows. In a relationship, it’s not you versus them. It’s the two of you as a couple versus the problem. It’s how you work together—you’re a team.

Following those nuggets of advice has worked out well for me, and I hope it’ll one day serve my kids well.