The Last Dance (23)

First of all I want to give a big thank you to all my news fans and of course all my old ones for all your comments and votes and support =)

I'm honestly soo amazed, back when I started this story I only had like 20 people reading it and now I'm getting in the 300 for every chapter. Just wow! Thank you =)

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Cheers,

xo.

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Recap:

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I spread a blanket on the ground and wrapped another one around me before settling down. John lay down on his stomach and propped himself up with his elbows staring off into the dark. It bugged me how quiet he'd been all day, save for the few words he'd said earlier. Only this morning he was teasing my about my clothes and from then on, utter silence.

"Why so quiet?" I ventured to ask. I was going crazy with curiosity, and despite how tired I felt, I knew I couldn't sleep without knowing.

"Hmmm... oh just... thinking..." He said distractedly. I debated whether or not to prod further when he turned to me, suddenly focused.

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Chapter 23 - Confessions

"How is it that we've known each other forever and yet know nothing about each other?"

Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting.

I wasn't sure if he was serious or just trying to distract me from my previous question. Well, if he didn't want to talk about it I wouldn't force him, I guess it was personal. I gave him a half smile.

"Speak for yourself, I know plenty about you."

He looked genuinely surprised. "You do?" He asked sceptically.

I nodded.

"Like what?"

"I don't know lots of things." I tried shrugging but it was hard to do while lying down.

"What's my favourite color?" He asked immediately.

"Dark green" I said confidently.

"Favourite weapon to use?"

"Archery, when mounted" I recited.

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and frowned. "Well, anyone could figure those out" He said grumpily.

I smiled "You think you have to be perfect for people to respect you, you resent the fact that your friends go easy on you, you don't trust people easily, you're afraid of being a failure, you used to think the castle was haunted, you stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, but always privately, and sometimes you do nice things for people for no reason without expecting anything in return and even without them knowing it was you."

I said the last point quietly, more to myself than for him to hear, even though he must have in the silence of the forest. I fingered the glittering bracelet on my wrist, a constant reminder of the very quality I'd just described.

"Shall I go on?"

I turned to face him, only to see that his jaw was hanging open in shock.

He looked stunned; at a complete loss for words. Was he really that surprised? I hid a smile but knew I wasn't succeeding.

"How... how did you... how do you know all that?" He whispered.

I raised an eye brow "Well, for one thing, I'm not blind, and I pay attention" I teased.

He didn't seem amused, instead his forehead crinkled and he frowned thoughtfully.

"But then... why don't I know any of that stuff about you?"

I yawned "Well, presumably you were always too busy making fun of me to notice" I said in a bemused tone of voice.

He didn't seem to share my opinion; instead he looked horrified by my comment. "I can't believe how much of a jerk I am" He muttered sadly.

I stared at him in alarm seeing a dejected look come over his face.

He turned away from me abruptly and started fiddling with a stick on the ground, looking oddly devastated.

I felt the smile melt off my face and suddenly found it unbearable to see him like this. How was it possible for him to have such an effect on me? Just seeing the sadness etched on his face felt like a physical blow.

"John, I wasn't being serious. I mean, well it's true, but I didn't mean for you to feel badly about it, I certainly don't take it as an insult, truly, it's just the way we've always been."

I tried vainly to convince him but he didn't seem at all cheered. He didn't even look up, just kept his gaze stubbornly on the ground. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why this made him so upset. I bit my lip, wondering what I could say to make this better.

"Is it really that big a deal to you?" I asked, genuinely curious.

He sighed and turned his face to the side, staring off into the dark.

"It's just... how self absorbed do you have to be not to know a thing about someone you've grown up with? All I know about you is from what I've seen in the last few days. Until then I thought the way you acted towards me was the way you actually were. I feel so stupid."

I struggled to think of what to say to make this better. Really how does one respond to that?

"It's not like I haven't changed my own judgements of you recently. You know, you probably know me better that you're giving yourself credit for" I said hesitantly.

He finally turned to face me and met my gaze. I could see the uncertainly in his features.

"And it's not too late you know, if it's all of a sudden so important to you" I added teasingly.

This managed to make him smile, finally.

"Alright then, what's your favourite color?"

"Purple, the shade you get only during a sunrise... beautiful" I said smiling to myself. "That's part of the reason I'm always up before the sun, just so I can see it."

He looked up at the sky with an expression that seemed wistful, though the moonlight only outlined the planes of his face, so I couldn't be sure.

"Show me sometime?"

Well, that's something, John taking an interest in something I like. But maybe he's just trying to make up for not knowing in the first place. Yes, that's probably it.

"Of course" I murmured. Surely he would forget soon anyway.

He nodded and thought about his next question. "And a sword is your favourite weapon?" He added hopefully.

I nodded and he looked relieved "See, you know something about me."

"Well, not until the day we had a duel. Just from that look on your face of complete confidence. And the way you fought as if the sword were an extension of your arm. You looked like you were born to be a swordsman. Err... well swordswoman I guess" He said ruefully.

It was my turn to be surprised. "See, you notice things."

His face brightened at that and he looked considerably happier.

He stayed silent for a few moments, probably thinking of his next question. I waited anxiously for it, knowing that it wouldn't be as easy as the last two.

"Tell me something no one else knows" He said quietly.

His question took me by surprise, unnerved me even. Something no one else knew? Couldn't it just be something he didn't know?

I shifted my eyes upward, feeling unsure. It was a fair question though, just not one with an easy answer. I thought about it, wondering what to tell him. It couldn't be just anything.

"You don't have to tell me... if you don't want to" He said when I didn't answer right away.

He tried to say it nonchalantly, but I didn't miss the hurt in his voice.

I thought about it a moment longer before slowly answering "You said I was born to be a swordswoman..." I started in a whisper "...but what you don't know... and what no one else knows... is that I'm only as good as I am because of you."

He frowned in confusion, like it was a trick answer. I sighed, knowing I'd have to explain, and that there could be no going back after this. The words were hard to get out, hard to share with someone else, especially the one they concerned.

"Despite all our differences in the past, you were the thing that kept me going... there were so many times I was ready to give up... and I probably would have... if it hadn't been for you. At the beginning it was all about trying to be better than you... prove you wrong... but then I realized I loved it. It was everything to me, and I might never have known it had it not been for you and your constant badgering. Ironic isn't it?" I added playfully.

My voice had steadied out as I talked, and I found that it was easier than I'd thought.

I saw a smile tugging up the corners of his lips, and felt one on my face as well. It was almost a relief saying it out loud. For so many years it had felt like a weakness, a shameful secret. Not anymore though, now that we were past our hatred.

"Thank you" He whispered.

We stayed in silence for a while and I figured the conversation was over. I blinked lazily up at the stars. It was too bad we would be back tomorrow. Back at the castle things would change again. He'd go back to being a Prince, not the person I'd learned to tolerate over the past week. It had been interesting actually, being around John without us getting into some kind of fight.

Well, at least this time around, when we got back we'd be friends. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come, but it seemed to be eluding me. Not that I really wanted to sleep. Even with how tired I was, I knew that the sooner this night ended the closer we'd be to getting home. I sighed loudly into the silence.

"You still awake Cece?" John asked softly.

I turned to him in surprise, so I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. "Yes."

"Can I... tell you something personal?"

I turned towards him curiously. It seemed this was a night for intense conversations.

He had a hesitant look on his face, as if he'd spent a lot of time debating whether or not to tell me. I could see the struggle behind his eyes and nodded sympathetically.

"I..." He turned away, seeming unable to face me.

"I'm afraid of having to go back and... and get... married" He said the last word so quietly I wouldn't have heard if the night hadn't been so silent and still.

Of course, I'd almost forgotten about that. It made me feel strangely sad to think about and I could only imagine what he must feel.

It also occurred to me to wonder if he'd ever had anyone to talk to about all his doubts and worries about his future. As if it wasn't hard enough being a Prince, to carry the burden alone would only be worse, and I was suddenly sure that he did carry it alone.

I was surprised that he would choose to confide to me of all people, but I figured that what we'd gone through the last few days had made him trust me unquestionably. Moreover, I found that I didn't mind his trusting me, was even glad that he did.

"It must be hard... never knowing who acts genuine around you and who doesn't" I ventured.

"It is... but at least my friends try and look out for me."

He sounded so sad and I suddenly really wanted to make him laugh. He'd spent too much time wallowing in his thoughts for one night.

"Well I have the perfect plan for you" I said seriously.

"Oh? What's that?" He asked with interest.

Perfect, I had his full attention.

I hid a smile and fought to keep my face straight. "It's simple really. Just act like the royal pain in the arse you are and the girls who put up with you, well they're obviously faking it, but the ones who run for the hills, those are the ones worth going after. If you can convince them you were only acting."

I turned to him with a smirk and he looked momentarily taken aback. I watched him tensely, and was rewarded with a breathtaking smile before he burst out laughing.

It rang clear and loud, completely uninhibited, and I knew it came straight from the heart. I was surprised that no birds had taken flight at the sudden noise. He laughed for a long time, and I grinned, feeling happier just from hearing it.

"You are something else Cece" He said when he had managed to control himself.

"Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment"

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Well, hope you enjoyed that, because it's that last you're getting for a while (run and hide) sorry I have exams, but just so you'll have something to look forward to... the next chapter is going to have some of John's POV!! I'm excited, I already have some of it written and I will no doubt be writing every second I'm not studying, so maybe maybeeee it will be posted soon. But fair warning if it isn't! =)

Xo.