The Last Dance (30)

Thank you all for being so patient for this chapter, there were so many times I was going to cut it off and then just kept on going. Not all the nights of the ball will be this long, but since this was the first I had to start it off awesome. I was so excited, I even made my own picture montage for the chapter which is on the side =)

The dress is a little more modern than I would have liked, I was hoping for something more vintage to match the olden days with a modern twist time period but didn't have much luck, so modern it is.

Comment and Vote?

Go back and vote?

Cheers,

xo.

And now, enjoy the long awaited ball!!

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Recap:

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"Until tomorrow then Celia" Mason said with a quick smile.

"Unfortunately" I muttered with a frown.

"'Night Cece, try not to rip up your gowns in the night"

"Would that get me out of attending?" I asked hopefully.

"Not likely. I'm sure you're friends have extras hidden away, and my mother would be happy to lend you her old ones" He said with a smirk.

I walked away grumbling under my breath about that ball. Whatever else might happen over the next five days of the ball, one thing was certain.

John would NEVER let me live down wearing all those dresses.

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Chapter 30 - The Mask

{The High Ball, Day 1}

Celia's POV

I stubbornly covered my ears, trying to drown out the constant knocking that had plagued my door all morning.

I know it was silly and childish but I found myself unable to face whatever might wait outside those doors.

The day was finally here, the first night of the ball. It was really happening.

It had been years since I'd gone to the High Ball, and I dreaded going now. Images of me tripping over a gown, falling down the stairs, or embarrassing myself in front of everyone kept playing over and over in my hear in a constant loop.

I winced every time, it seemed too real.

Lily and Mira had been outside my door several times already, trying to coax me out, but I couldn't answer the door even if I wanted to. I felt paralyzed in place, under the false belief that if I just remained here long enough it would all go away.

Already I could imagine the cold stares and sneering mouths of the court ladies, judging me for all I was. I couldn't imagine myself to be anything compared to their daughters of nobility, trained to be proper ladies from birth.

What would they regard me as? Some barbaric knight-to-be who didn't belong in their world, most like. A caged animal they all mocked and jeered at.

I could hear the sounds in my mind, as if they were already happening; the sound of fabric ripping as I lost my balance somewhere, the quiet snickering behind upraised hands, the pitying tsks and sniffles of contempt.

I knew I was overreacting, blowing everything out of proportion, but I couldn't stop the vivid sensations from trapping me in their snares. I felt helpless, and out of place. Never before had I questioned my choices to be a knight.

Never, until now.

I was gripped with an irrational fear that had me hiding under the covers of my bed, shielding myself from the dreams that I felt sure would unfold the second I-

"Celia?"

My name, whispered through the door with such familiar grace broke me out of my pitiful nightmares.

"Anna?"

"I have a key, may I come in?" Her muffled voice rang clearly in my mind and I felt myself nodding vigorously before realizing she couldn't see my actions.

"Yes."

I clutched the blanket closer to myself as the door inched open. She came into the room without making a sound, her back facing me while she closed the door and locked it behind her.

We were both bathed in darkness with only the fainted rays of light seeping through the cracks in my drawn shutters.

The shadow that outlined her body moved along the wall towards the window. With one motion she threw open the shutters and I immediately covered my eyes against the sudden harsh light.

I blinked rapidly to readjust while she looked around the room with a frown.

I knew how it must look.

My usually tidy room was a mess of scattered clothes, shoes, books and trinkets that had been dislodged from counters and shelves, all a result from my restless night.

I remembered pulling every piece of clothing from my closet, looking for even a shred of femininity. I remembered finding the skirts Lady Maria had given me and trying them on in desperation to look like a girl, but only seeing myself look silly and out of place.

I remembered tossing and turning for hours as my sheets got more and more tangled around me and how often I jumped out of bed, too anxious to lie under the covers for another second.

I remembered pulling out a practice sword and swinging it around in the dark, knocking things off the dresser in the close confines.

I remembered pulling book after book off the shelf in the hopes of finding comfort, just to toss them aside a page later and fumbling clumsily around in the dark for anything that might be a distraction.

I buried my face in my knees, feeling ashamed and pathetic as I heard Anna picking her way through the mess and making her way towards me. I felt her weight on the edge of my bed before being pulled into her arms.

All at once I remembered the many nights of my childhood, when she would hold me this exact same way every time John upset me. It was already making me feel calmer, but at the same time more upset because of the way I'd left things with her last time.

"Anna, I'm so sorry."

"Whatever for Cee?"

"For... when I came to visit" I mumbled quietly.

She laughed softly, the sound bringing another instant feeling of comfort.

"I'm your older sister Cee, there's nothing you could do that needs apologizing for."

"Do I have to go tonight? Or any night? Can't I just stay in here?"

"And do what? Hide? That's not the Celia I know."

"The Celia you know doesn't belong in a dress, much less at a ball" I said bitterly.

"Wrong. The Cee I know belongs anywhere she wants to, and does it better than anyone else to boot. How many people said you didn't belong on the training fields with the boys? How many times did they tell you to put down your sword? Trade your breeches for a skirt? Ride side saddle on a horse? They never stopped you before so why now? This is your chance to prove them all wrong. Show them all you can be a knight and a lady. It doesn't have to be one or the other Cee."

"What if they laugh?"

"They wouldn't dare" She said firmly. "And especially not after I'm done with you" I pulled away from her to see an amused expression on her face.

"I brought you something."

Getting up from the bed, she moved over to the door where a large box had been set down on the dresser. I guess I hadn't noticed it when she'd first walked in.

"I know the Queen already got you a dress for tomorrow when you'll be presented, but maybe you'd like to wear this one today?"

She eased off the lid of the box and I found myself leaning forward, excited despite myself.

With a flourish she pulled the dress out of the box and let it cascade down to the floor. I felt my jaw drop open in shock.

It was a beautiful grey satin gown the exact color of my eyes, and so soft looking I just wanted to reach out and run my hands over it.

The top half was elegantly cut and looked like it would fit me perfectly. A border along the top and the shoulder straps were covered in silver and black glass beads. Just below the waist on one side sat a jewelled brooch where everything cinched together before giving way to a full skirt that fell gracefully to the floor.

"It's beautiful Anna"

I felt a familiar buzzing of excitement, one I hadn't felt in a long time. I remembered the day of the ball eight years ago, when I stood in Anna's room, twirling around in skirts that were far too long and bursting with excitement to go to the ball for the first time.

A dress that beautiful could make anyone look like a lady, maybe even me.

The rest of the day was spent in my room. Anna and I walked around cleaning the floor and pushing everything against the wall until a large space was cleared in the middle of the room. She left only once to go get her dress and supplies, and came back with Mira and Lily in tow, all laden down with armfuls of stuff.

My room was transformed into part fitting room, part hair dresser, and part judging panel as we took turns trying on different things. The door stayed locked and it turned into something of a girl's day in.

Slowly I felt myself relaxing while we all fussed around getting ready. For the most part I tried to stay out of the way, until I was forced into a chair or to try on a pair of shoes. It was the most time I'd ever spent getting ready for anything.

Anna worked on my hair, using hot irons to curl it into springy ringlet's that bounced whenever I moved. At first it looked funny to me, but she pulled most of it back into a pale silver net, leaving only a thick strand to drape over my left shoulder, falling just above my chest. Smaller curls were left lose to frame my face and the whole effect looked pretty and elegant.

She helped Mira and Lily with their hair as well and we all pitched in to help her with hers. It was somewhat of a crash course for me; all three of them explaining everything they were doing and making me try it out on one of them. The makeup was the hardest to apply, but after a few tries I was starting to get the hang of it.

Finally, it was eight o'clock, time for the ball to start. I pictured all the girls who would be presented today lining up behind the doors to the marble staircase and was grateful I had another day to prepare.

From outside my room I could hear the laughter and quick footsteps of girls making their way towards the ballroom. For this week, it didn't matter what their station in life might be, they would all get a chance at the top of those stairs.

"Ready to go Cee?" Anna asked finally.

Like always, she managed to look beautiful, in a rich brown dress that made her pale skin seem to glow. I snuck a glance towards the direction of the mirror, though I hadn't had the guts to look into it for the last few hours.

"You all go on ahead, I'll catch up" I said as bravely as I could.

She regarded me for only a moment more, and I nodded to show that I really would follow soon, before they let the door shut behind them with a final sounding click.

I stood where I was until the noise from the hallway quieted down, and finally died away.

Finding comfort in being alone, I slowly made my way over to the mirror, keeping my eyes closed until I was standing directly in front of it.

Now or never.

I opened my eyes.

It took me a moment to recognize the girl in the mirror. It was the eyes that finally convinced me, they looked scared. But the rest was so different I could almost be someone else. Someone who might actually belong in there.

A Lady.

Lady Celia, no Lady Knight Celia.

The thought brought a smile to my lips, lighting up the foreign face before me. Maybe it wasn't as different as I saw, but to me it was a whole other person entirely.

It made an odd kind of sense. This day, the day I'd been thinking of, dreading, and slightly excited about hardly seemed real, so why not play a charade?

I nudged the door open only wide enough to stick my head out and look both ways down the hall.

Empty.

With one last regretful look back at my bed I shut the door behind me and took a deep breath.

This was it.

Now or never.

I walked down the corridors, all silent but for the faint click-clack of my shoes against the floor. The noise gradually increased the closer I got to the doors on the main level. There was the sound of laughter and faint chattering, the clinking of glasses and rustle of skirts.

I stood uncertainly outside the doors, wondering how to enter unnoticed, when my eyes fell on a basket propped on a table to my right.

Curiously I walked over and looked inside, feeling another smile tugging up the corners of my lips.

The basket was filled with dozens of delicate masks in all colors and fabrics. Of course, I'd almost forgotten the tradition for married women to wear masks.

It was almost too perfect for words.

With another quick glance around me I dropped my fingers into the basket and came out with a lacy black mask. It was a simple thing, without much ornament except for a simple beaded flower on the left with a few strands of black and grey beads hanging down, and a beaded border around the edge and top of the eyes. I slid it over my head, being careful not to disturb the curls and net my sister had worked so hard to place.

I slipped around to another set of doors, one that came out just to the right of the grand staircase, and right in the shadows.

Perfect.

All my days of coming to the ball room in preparation for this week were finally paying off.

With a last deep breath I opened the door and stepped inside.

I took a moment to stand in place and gape around at my surroundings. It almost hurt the eyes to look at, it was so overwhelming. Everywhere you turned were glittering gowns in every color of the rainbow and every shade imaginable.

Jewellery sparkled from hair ornaments, ears and around necks, ranging from expensive and gaudy to simple and elegant. I reached a hand up to my own bare neck, where I'd refused to wear anything extra and only felt a pang that this might make me stand out more.

It hardly matter though since I wore a mask, and was in my own way, invisible. The lighting was dimmed to give a romantic atmosphere and soft music filtered around the dance floor from the stage set near the throne dais.

I kept to the shadows, moving around as though I was one myself, listening, watching, enjoying from a distance. There were a few names still being called, a few girls still bravely making their decent into the ranks of adulthood.

I noted with relief that not all attendants watched the stairs, some had already taken to the dance floor, or were deep in conversation with other guests. It removed some of the pressure knowing I wouldn't be center stage when it was my turn at the top.

I looked to the dais where the King and Queen sat, regal as any monarchs should be. The King was a brilliant sight, all in deep red and gold with a gracious smile on his face as he spoke with another gentleman. A gold crown with a single ruby set on the highest point rested on his chocolate brown hair, one of the very few times I'd seen him wearing one.

The Queen sat on the same level beside him in a midnight blue and silver gown with a silver crown shaped like woven leaves resting on her hair. Together they looked like fire and ice; the perfect pair.

I looked for John next, but the throne that should have been his was empty. My eyes roamed the dance floor and surrounding crowds, but still couldn't find him. I eventually looked to the edges of the room and there I finally saw him, standing near the stairs.

He was wearing a black tunic that fell just below his waist and was edged in gold around the bottom and sleeves over a pair of black breeches. Gold laces criss-crossed down his arms and a gold belt with a large buckle circled his waist, with an ornate sword hanging from it; more decoration than anything else.

The front of his tunic had the realms coat of arms on it, and a black cape with a gold underside hung from his shoulders. On his head rested a modest gold crown that barely showed against his molten gold hair, but still singled him out for every young woman to see.

It was only then, after marvelling at his Princely appearance that suited him so well, that I took in the rest of him and noticed the sullen and bored expression on his face. A group of girls chattered on at him, completely unaware that he wasn't paying them the slightest attention.

I couldn't help but laugh at his obvious discomfort. I pitied him, but not enough to go over there to rescue him and blow my cover. He was a big boy, he could handle himself.

I had a feeling even if he weren't Prince he would earn the same looks of admiration from those girls. His dishevelled hair and pouted lips only made him look more attractive, the poor fool.

Shaking my head at his misfortune, I looked around once more, my eyes falling on the doors that led outside to the private courtyard with the cherry blossom tree.

I stared at it in longing, but knew I had to be seen by at least a few people or they would think I hadn't come.

Reluctantly I made my way over to where the King now stood alone, staring out over the ball. I kept to the shadows the whole way and only took off my mask at the last moment possible, hiding it behind my back as I stepped out to greet him.

I curtsied; taking advantage of the one time I was wearing a dress to do so. "Uncle Jeoffrey" I stood up to see him beaming at me.

"Why Celia, I hardly believe my eyes, look at you."

"It's quite a change I admit" I said sheepishly.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "It certainly is, and one you should consider more often. You look stunning my dear; I hope my son's learned his manners this time and told you the same."

I felt myself blushing and was grateful John was being held up across the room.

"I've yet to run into him Uncle."

"Now that's surprising, he seems to have taken to following you around the castle like a lost puppy since your return."

I tried holding back a laugh but only lasted for a moment. "I hadn't noticed."

He complimented me once more before walking back into the crowd to talk to other guests while I slipped back into the shadows, donning my mask once again.

I repeated the process with my parents and Anna, so she would know I actually showed up, before tracing my shadowed path to the doors that led outside.

Alone at last.

I could only handle so much revelry for one night. I took one last look inside, trying to spot Luke and David, even John's new squire Mason, but none were inside. Knowing those boys they were probably off in a corner somewhere talking to girls.

The sun was starting to set, bathing everything in a glow of pink and orange light. I walked down the path that had once been my stage, almost hearing the laughter of the young girl so full of innocence and love I'd once been.

I walked up to the old cherry blossom tree, already bursting with blooms, while the petals that had been loosened in the breeze dusted the bench and ground all around it.

I took a few steps past the tree and walked up to the trellis that surrounded this courtyard. I couldn't help but remember that this year's ball wasn't just a big deal for me... by the end of the fifth night John would have to pick a Queen.

I could easily see him up there, on that dais where his father now sat; John was born to be King, even if he couldn't see it yet.

But as for the Queen... that could never be me. Perhaps I could manage myself in a dress now, even look like a proper Lady, but there was so much more to it than that.

I could never act the part, command that kind of presence. I hated being the center of attention, even when it was something I was confident in, like fighting.

And being Queen meant people looked up to you, something that could never be true of me, not the upstart lady knight who didn't know her place.

Never me.

John's POV

I quickly ducked behind a server, grabbing his sleeve in a silent beg to stay where he was. He seemed to understand well enough, only chuckling a little as he offered his tray to those in front of him and keeping me out of view.

I looked under his arm to see the girl that had been following me looking around in confusion.

Please let her go away.

She looked to her left and right, spinning around in a circle as if I were just behind her. Her eyes traveled to the server and I prayed she didn't suddenly desire a drink.

For a second she seemed to be looking right at me, but then the moment passed and she stomped off in the opposite direction.

I let out a deep sigh of relief.

"All clear My Prince?" The server asked with a slight smile.

"For now at least; thank you."

He nodded good-naturedly and walked off to continue his rounds. It was no surprise that he took my behaviour so calmly; I'd been doing this for years.

It was complete madness, the same every year. If it wasn't a girl practically begging for my attention, it was her mother, hinting quite obviously that her daughter would make a lovely bride.

I suppose I was at least lucky that it was traditionally men who asked women to dance or I'd never get away. Where was Mason when I needed him?

What good was a squire if he was off charming the court ladies along with my other friends?

If only I could find Celia. Then I could keep her by my side the whole night to discourage the others.

Then again, I'm sure she would just go out of her way to make me talk to the other girls. No doubt she was standing off to the side somewhere laughing at me.

I flattened myself against the staircase, just barely avoiding a young girl with her mother.

Mothers really were the worst of them. The girls I could handle; at least with them I just had to nod a few times and smile.

Mothers though, they were tricky. They all seemed to have an innate ability to interpret anything I said as interest in their daughter.

I looked around and saw an open door, which I was fairly certain led outside. Unfortunately, it involved walking past the edge of the dance floor.

I put my head down and started walking briskly across the room, not making eye contact with anyone. I breathed a huge sigh of relief just as I made it to the doors.

"My Prince! Such an honour!"

Drat.

Spotted.

I straightened up and quickly plastered a smile to my face.

"Lady Helena, the honour is all mine."

"The Ballroom looks simple marvellous this year. Your father has certainly outdone himself."

"He'll be pleased you like it."

"Oh I do, but not nearly so much as my daughter, she's being presented tomorrow you know."

Of course, right on queue.

"Is that so? She must be quite excited."

"Indeed, she hopes to be swept off her feet by her Prince Charming" She said with a wink.

It amazed me that these conversations never deviated from their script.

"Don't they all?" I said pleasantly, adding a wide smile.

Her own smile faltered for a moment; obviously she'd been expecting a different response.

I mean really what did she expect? That I would propose to her daughter on the spot?

But of course, that was exactly what she was expecting.

"I suppose... but between you and me she's a great deal prettier than all the rest."

As if I hadn't heard that one before.

Surely not every girl here could be the epitome of female beauty, though I suppose their mothers couldn't tell the truth.

"I hear the manor at Fief Daera has been redone."

"It has your Highness, my daughter would take it as the highest compliment if you were to visit us."

So much for my attempt to change the subject, match-making mothers could never be deterred.

"My Petunia really is quite excited to get married. I'm sure you share her sentiments being twenty-one now, a man grown and ready to settle down."

I felt an uncomfortable lump form in the pit of my stomach.

"Well... I haven't really thought about it."

If only that were true; I hadn't stopped thinking about it since we got back to the castle.

She winked at me again. "Perhaps you just haven't met the right woman yet."

Or perhaps I have and she's already turned me down.

Maybe not in those words, but it was a rejection all the same. I wasn't sure my pride could handle another refusal.

Suddenly I felt the need for some air.

Lady Helena was still busy prattling on about her daughters many virtues. I didn't feel bad for interrupting her knowing that if I didn't she could very well go on all night.

"If you'll excuse me my Lady, I've neglected my other guests."

"Of course your Highness, perhaps we'll have the pleasure of speaking again another night."

Not if I can help it.

She curtsied once before walking away.

Well, at least she knew a dismissal when she heard one, which was more than I could say for others.

As soon as she had her back turned, I slipped outside unnoticed, closing the door behind me.

I felt my shoulders sag immediately in relief before looking around me. The place was unfamiliar to me.

How was it that so many places in my own home were a mystery to me? That clearing of Celia's in the wood, the secret exit in the hedge maze, and now this courtyard?

Apparently it was no secret, since small lights were strung up in all the trees and flower pots, with small lanterns set at intervals along the path. The best part of it though, was that it was empty.

I walked down, putting distance between myself and the door. It would be just my luck to be caught in here with another mother and no easy way to get out.

At the end of the path was a large cherry blossom tree; the only one without lights, though it seemed to emit a glow of its own.

I started walking towards it, noticing too late the figure sitting on the bench under it.

I hesitated, debating whether or not to go back since I hadn't been seen yet. Still I would rather risk one person than the many that waited for me inside.

I continued walking, and though plenty of noise announced my presence the figure, who I could now make out as a woman, she didn't turn around.

Not wanting to be rude I waited at the opposite end of the bench and cleared my throat.

The woman turned her head towards me, but the sun, now low in the sky, prevented me from making out any of her features.

I did notice the mask on her face, and for a moment worried I faced another match-making mother, but a moment later I realized she was too young for that, a new bride at the most, so I was safe.

"I'm sorry to disturb you my Lady."

"You should be, I was enjoying the peace and quiet until now."

I was momentarily stunned that someone would actually speak to me that way, until the familiar voice registered in my mind.

"Cece?"

I stepped to the side so the sun wouldn't block my view and stared in disbelief at the girl, no woman, sitting before me.

That could not be Celia.

And yet, her lips pulled up into the playful grin I'd recognize anywhere while her hands lifted up to remove the mask around her face.

"Actually, I think I like the sound of 'my Lady'" She teased.

She stood up then, a look of annoyance passing across her face, but I was too preoccupied to care.

I could feel my jaw hanging open in shock but couldn't even be bothered to close it.

I always knew she was beautiful, but I never knew she could look like that. The dress followed every curve of her body, showing off her slender figure.

To think I used to make fun of her for not being able to fill out a dress. What a fool I'd been not to notice her turn into this.

She started walking towards me, drawing my eyes down to her hips moving beneath the dress.

I could feel my face flushing a deeper red with every step but still couldn't look away. It was taking every ounce of willpower I had not to pull her close and feel her body against mine.

She raised two fingers and put them under my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet her own. I hardly minded, since that sight left me just as speechless.

"Stop drooling John, it isn't very Princely."

Without thinking I raised my hand to my jaw, before noticing the smirk on her face.

I felt myself smiling back despite her making fun of me and reached my hand out to the curls of hair that lay over her shoulder.

I ran my fingers through them, purposely brushing them along the bare skin and savouring the fiery heat that seemed to jump between her skin and mine before reluctantly pulling away.

"I won't be the last."

She scoffed at me, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world that someone else might think her beautiful.

If only she knew.

I'd probably have to beat the other boys away with a stick if we went inside.

Still, despite the emphatic shaking of her head, she looked pleased with the implied compliment. Even if she didn't quite believe me, she would see for herself soon enough over the next few nights.

"So what were you doing out here all alone anyway?"

"Just thinking, but mostly hiding."

I laughed. "I'd drag you back inside if I weren't doing the same thing myself."

"You're in luck; this is a good hiding place."

"Is that so?"

She shrugged before sitting down again. "No one found me here last time."

I sat down next to her, leaving a little space between us so as not to push my luck. "What, you mean all those years ago? What were you hiding from then?"

She raised her eyebrows at me, and all at once I knew the answer, even before her words confirmed it.

"You."

She didn't look upset at the memory, but that didn't stop me from feeling instantly guilty.

It had been one thing for me to tease her all these years about wanting to be a knight, and another to make a little girl feel bad about the way she looked.

It only hit me now, eight years later, that I was the reason she gave up wearing dresses and skirts and didn't want to be a Lady. Because of what I'd said to make her feel insecure and doubt how pretty she really was, even until now.

No wonder she had always hated me.

I hated myself.

I turned my head to look at her. She was staring off into the distance, not really looking at anything since it was too dark to see very far.

"Cece?"

"Hmm?" She turned back to me blinking slowly, as if coming out of a dream.

"I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you weren't girly enough."

She looked surprised for a moment before shaking her head at me. "I didn't blame you for that John."

"You didn't have to. It's my fault you're out here hiding instead of in there dancing with someone who's actually worth your while."

"It's not your fault, why would you even think that?"

"Because I always laughed at you and made fun of you. You're too nice to say it out loud but you know it's true--"

I was cut off by her bursting out into laughter.

"John... where... is this even... coming from?" She asked between laughs.

I didn't get what was so funny about this but continued anyway. "--you probably thought I would give you a hard time tonight too. Was it me you were hiding from?" I finished in a whisper.

She stopped laughing abruptly and looked at me incredulously.

"You're serious aren't you?"

When I didn't say anything she pursed her lips and draped her hand over mine on the bench. The unexpected contact sent sparks through me, but I forced myself to listen to what she was saying.

"John, you're the only one I wasn't hiding from. And yes, maybe I did think you would give me a hard time, but only as a joke. And what's this about being too nice to blame you out loud? When would I ever pass up the chance to call you an idiot to your face-which by the way you are if you think all that. And even supposing you never laughed or made fun of me as a kid, do you really think I would have wanted to be a Lady? What little girl doesn't like to dress up every now and then? I would have grown tired of it even without your help. You just sped up the process a little."

"Then why did you hate me for it?"

"Because you were so condescending and arrogant."

Ouch, that was blunt. But then again what was I expecting? That she would deny hating me?

That would be a lie.

"Don't soften the blow there Cece" I said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't think of it."

She smiled once more, before looking off into the dark again.

"What are you thinking about?" I blurted out before thinking better of it.

She looked away from me, but not before I caught the sadness in her face.

"This was where Anna told me she was leaving. Every time I come here I can't help but think about it."

Her voice sounded far away, as if she was replaying the memory in her mind as we spoke.

I hated seeing her sad and wondered what I could do to cheer her up. I smiled slightly as an idea came to mind.

"Well, I'll just have to give you something else to think about."

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering I grabbed her hand, ignoring the sparks that flew up once again and pulled her along behind me towards the door.

Her pace slowed down in reluctance just as a series of bells started to chime from inside. I hadn't realized we'd spent so much time out here.

"What was that?"

I let go of her hand for a moment to open the door just enough for the music to filter outside.

"It's to signal the last dance of the night; may I have the honour my Lady?" I said while sweeping her a low bow.

She was trying not to laugh when I stood up, but a faint blush coloured her cheeks when she took my hand; at least I hadn't lost all my charm.

"I don't know John; it didn't end very well last time" She joked.

"That's because last time you didn't trust me."

"And you think I do now?"

I placed my hand on her waist and pulled her close to me, much closer than the dance required or was even proper, but I didn't care. It's not like anyone was around to see anyway.

"Yes" I whispered softly in her ear.

I laughed when she muttered something about me being 'full of it' that I probably wasn't supposed to hear, but so long as she wasn't pulling away she could say all she wanted about me.

I closed my eyes, all too aware of every place our bodies touched. It was like all my senses were in sharp focus. She started humming along to the music playing inside, and it was the only sound I could hear.

All the unpleasantness from the beginning of the evening, and my guilt from before were forgotten.

All the stress and worry about getting married didn't matter.

Right now I wasn't Prince Johnathan, or John, or even the thirteen year old boy who was condescending and arrogant.

Right now I was just the luckiest man in the world, dancing with the girl I was completely in love with.

The thought brought me to a sudden stop, just as another round of bells signalled the end of the first night of the ball.

I loved her.