Chapter 159

Clara heaved out a long deep sigh as she walked through the paths along the castle walls. She might have been removed from her post, but Darius didn’t exactly ban her from visiting Cordon Castle. She still wanted to keep the good relationship she had with Freya and the Queen Mother, and so she intended to pay them a visit whenever she could.

And on top of that, she…

Another sigh came out of her mouth. Despite everything, she still wanted to see Darius. Even just a glimpse of him would be enough for her to feel good despite the pain creeping up inside her. Just once… Just enough to stave off the madness within her.

Clara shook her head. She should focus on the task at hand…

Knowing the Queen Mother, she would probably be in her Great Chamber around this time of day hour, arranging flowers and reading poems over her favorite tea. As such, she walked straight towards her prospective destination. And sure enough, she found her there alone, sitting on her favorite chair while staring outside towards the view of the main garden she had been tending to.

“Queen Mother,” she politely greeted as walked towards her, sitting opposite her with a curt nod.

Elegantly, Queen Mother turned her head and gave her a small smile. That smile, however, was void of the usual cheerfulness she would always offer to everyone. That didn’t stop her from noticing something amiss though.

‘Something’s wrong,’ Clara worriedly thought.

Queen Savannah was like a mother to her, and she had grown up under her care enough that she could simply tell from a mere glance whenever something was bothering the older woman. They were all like an open book to her; those she cared about had her full attention despite their smiles trying to hide whatever it was they were feeling.

“What’s wrong?” she directly asked, quickly approaching her foster mother with bent knees. Resting her head on her lap, Clara felt the Queen Mother’s warm hands stroking her shoulder-length golden blonde hair.

“Hmm… Darius finally told us the truth about Lucian’s death,” Savannah solemnly whispered. “Still… I can’t thank you enough, you along with the rest of his friends, for always staying beside him, Clara. I’m grateful that you stayed with him even after all this time… You, Bartos, and the rest of the people he trusts…”

Clara raised her head to look at her closely. Letting out a small breath, she gasped as she saw how the Queen Mother’s eyes swelled up a bit.

“He didn’t want you and Freya to feel burdened and remain in pain…” Clara wistfully explained. She knew exactly why Darius had to hide the truth from his mother and sister. And in all honesty, she would’ve done the same if she was in Darius’s shoes.

“I know that… But still… he shouldn’t have to bear the heavy weight of burden alone,” the Queen Mother sighed. “At this point, I’m just at ease after he finally told me that he wasn’t entirely alone in his burden. He had Gideon and Bartos, together with Calypso along with his trusted men throughout his journey. Once again, thank you for helping Darius get through this…”

This time, the Queen Mother’s smile exuded warmth, and Clara could see the solemn and genuine look in her foster mother’s eyes.

“I’ll do everything for you, Mother Savannah. You and Father Lucian…” Clara firmly stated as she comfortably rested her head against the older woman’s lap. She had a few streaks of tears on her face as she continued, “You’re all my family… and Darius… Freya… You all are all I had when I lost everything around me…”

She was serious about it too. Even now, she still had her insecurities roiling inside her heart. What if Xenia and the Queen Mother actually enjoyed each other’s company more? Will she lose them? Both the Queen Mother and Freya? She couldn’t even stand losing Darius already. She would go insane if she lost both the mother and sister she grew up with as well.

She did not want to lose them all… Lose them all to that human Princess… A princess that she knew was simply following her heart…

After a few moments of just silence, the Queen Mother finally managed to compose herself, holding Clara’s shoulder so that she would get back on her feet and sit close to her. The older woman gently held her hands and squeezed them, making Clara look at her and smile back at the reassurance.

“You’re already a daughter to me, Clara. It’s not only blood that binds and makes one family, after all,” her foster mother said.

“No matter what happens, you will always be my daughter. You and Freya as sisters, and to Darius’s as well. We’re your family… and I’d like for us to stay that way. Although, I’ve heard that you and Darius had some talks already, which ended up with him removing you from your post…”

Clara’s heart thumped wildly in her chest, but she remained quiet as she simply listened to the Queen Mother’s words.

“I know you, and I know how your heart feels. You do know that I love you as my daughter, Clara, and I don’t want to see you in pain,” the older woman soothingly said.

“Things might look difficult at first, but I know you’ll be able to overcome these obstacles. I will always be beside you as your mother, Clara. And Darius will never forsake you because he loves you as a sister and friend. As it stands, the current circumstances are being hard on him as well… But as much as we would want to, we cannot force things if it’s not meant to be.”

Clara bit her inner cheeks at what she heard. Her eyebrows flinched as she tried her best to control the boiling emotions inside of her from bursting out. Tears started welling up in her eyes as she opened her mouth.

“I understand what you mean, Mother Savannah… But I’m sorry if I can’t heed your silent request for me to give way…” Clara regretfully spoke. “I… I just can’t let go so easily like that. I want to fight for him, and I’ll still fight Xenia in the trial by combat no matter what. Assuming that she even survives the four trials, that is…”

Queen Mother let out a long deep sigh and said, “I understand, Clara. If you must, then put up a fight, if only for you to ease your mind and heart… Fight Princess Xenia fair and square in the trial by combat, but please… Please know when to stop. When enough is enough and you feel like there’s no real point in continuing further.”

She then added, “Just remember that I’ll always be here for you as your mother no matter what, Clara. You’ll always be my daughter, come what may. Don’t strain your relationship with us too much… And come back soon after sorting everything out.”

Clara remained silent, but her silent sobs were still heard by the one woman that truly knew what it meant. The Queen Mother continued patting her on the back as she soothed her, stroking her hair in an effort to comfort her.

She melted into her mother’s embrace. Even as she sobbed, she knew exactly what Mother Savannah meant. And still, she was just as lost. The pain in her heart was just too much to bear, and she wasn’t even sure if she was strong enough to handle it the way the Queen Mother wanted her to handle it. However, she at least knew and felt the warmth and sincerity of her words… That she would always be her daughter no matter what.