P.S. You’re Intolerable: Chapter 6

AFTER GRADUATING COLLEGE, WEEKEND brunch had become an institution between Luca, Weston, and me. Lately, our table had gotten bigger. My sister Elise had moved back to Denver a few months ago, so naturally, she joined us. Then came Saoirse, Elise’s friend and Luca’s new wife. Where Luca went, Saoirse did too.

Sometimes, when I was really unlucky, Weston’s younger brother, Miles, showed up. Today was one of those days.

It wasn’t that he was a bad guy. He just…bothered me and had since we were kids. Weston was basically my brother, though, so I put up with his real brother when I had to. And to be fair, Miles also drove Weston up the wall.

Our table was on the patio of our favorite brunch spot, overlooking the sidewalk. The early autumn sun was positioned directly above us, providing a beacon of warmth on a mildly chilly day.

“I’m surprised you’re here, El,” Elise remarked. “It seems like you’ve made it to more brunches than you’ve missed lately.”

I looked up from my menu, which I didn’t really need since I almost always ordered the same thing. “Is that a complaint?”

I knew it wasn’t. Elise and I were closer than most siblings. Both our parents were dead, and I’d become her guardian when she was still in high school. Her years living in Chicago with her douchey ex had been tough on both of us. When she dumped and ghosted his undeserving ass, bringing her home had been my utmost pleasure.

“An observation,” she said. “You haven’t been traveling as much.”

“I haven’t,” I agreed.

Weston leaned into Elise, his arm draped over her shoulders. Seeing my childhood best friend with my sister was still somewhat disconcerting. My brain often stuttered, going into overdrive to compute the two of them together. But in recent days, my feelings about their relationship were almost all positive. He was good to her, and Elise brought out the best in him.

“Is there a reason for that?” Weston asked.

I put my menu down on the table next to my fork. “A few reasons. I have the new building downtown that’s keeping my attention here.”

Luca covered his chuckle with his hand, but he didn’t do a great job of it. “How many weeks is Catherine now? Probably too far along to fly, huh?”

Thirty-seven weeks. Much too far along to fly. And my dread grew with every day that passed, knowing I’d soon have to deal with a bumbling idiot who was very much not her on a daily basis.

“Catherine’s pregnant?” Elise straightened, pinning me, followed by Weston, with a glare. “Neither of you told me. Why is that?”

Weston’s fingers curled around her bicep. “I didn’t realize it was something you’d want to know.”

I lifted a shoulder. “You’ve only met her a couple times.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “So? She’s important to you, isn’t she?”

I hesitated to agree, but she wasn’t wrong. Catherine kept me running on a daily basis, and she was so easy to be around. I spent more time with her than any of my previous assistants.

“Yes, she is,” I admitted.

“Then I want to buy her a gift.” Elise turned to Saoirse. “What are you doing after this? We need to shop for the baby.”

Saoirse rubbed her hands together. “Yes, we absolutely do. I know the cutest little shop nearby. What’s she having, Elliot? Boy or girl?”

“I have no idea.”

Saoirse’s mouth dropped then snapped shut. “Why am I not surprised you haven’t asked? If it doesn’t make money or help you conquer the world, it isn’t on your radar.”

Miles cleared his throat. “I’m sitting over here, offended I wasn’t asked to join in on the shopping trip.”

“Do you know anything about babies?” Weston asked.

Miles slung his arm over the back of his chair. “They’re small. They shit and cry like it’s their job. On occasion, they start out cute, but usually they look like little angry old men until they get older.”

Saoirse nodded along with him. “You aren’t wrong.”

“Just missing a lot of very important details,” Elise added.

Miles threw his hand up. “Come on, Lisie. Bring me shopping with you. If I’m left to my own devices after this, I’ll get into trouble. Do you really want to be responsible for that?”

Weston nodded to me. “Elliot and I are going for a hike. You and Luca should join us.”

I held my breath, hoping like hell Miles would turn him down.

“Yeah, that sounds more fun than shopping for a baby.” Miles addressed Saoirse and Elise. “Sorry, ladies. I had a better offer.”

Fuck.

At least Luca would be there as a buffer. The Aldrich brothers were known for their bickering, and I didn’t have it in me to listen to two or three hours of it.

“Catch me next time,” Luca said. “If my wife is busy, I’ll go for a ride.”

Fuck again. I guess I’d have to search deep inside the well of patience I usually reserved for the egomaniacal men I dealt with at work.

Saoirse leaned into him, her bottom lip poking out. “You’re taking the motorcycle out without me?”

He kissed her cheek and dragged his nose into her hair. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. I’ll take you for a ride later if you want.”

“I want,” she murmured.

The waitress brought our drinks and took our food orders. The topic moved on, thankfully, and Miles and Saoirse began talking about the business they’d started together.

“We landed a new client yesterday,” Saoirse said.

I raised a brow. “You’re still doing that?”

This was mostly said in jest, but there was a kernel of truth behind my question. I’d known Saoirse since she and Elise had roomed together in college. She was a quality person—I wouldn’t have allowed the friendship to continue otherwise—but she’d never stuck to one thing, place, relationship, or job for any length of time.

Her and Luca’s marriage had been a complete surprise since neither of them had been known for their love of commitment. Then she and Miles—who I still viewed as the kid who routinely tried to pants me whenever I was forced to be in his presence—had started a business consulting firm. The past few months had been a strange upheaval of my friend group. Everything was changing at a pace that often gave me whiplash.

She flipped me off. “Yes, asshole. And we’re killing it.”

I raised both hands in surrender. “Sorry. I’m only kidding. I know you’ve been putting your blood, sweat, and tears into it.” Teasing Saoirse was all too easy, especially when she gave as good as she got. She and Miles deserved accolades, though. I knew firsthand what starting a business was like. It wasn’t for the weak.

I picked up my orange juice. “Cheers to Saoirse and Miles. Keep killing it out there.”

We toasted them, and as I tipped my drink to my mouth, my gaze slipped toward the sidewalk. I froze when I caught sight of Catherine walking in the direction of the restaurant. Our table was right beside the low picket fence barrier that marked the space. In moments, she would be passing directly by us.

“What are you looking at?” Elise swiveled in the direction I was staring. “Oh! Is that Catherine?”

“It is,” I confirmed warily.

Like dominoes, one by one, every person at our table craned their neck to see her. As though she knew she was being watched, Catherine turned toward us. When she landed on me, her eyes widened in outright alarm.

Elise raised her hand, beckoning her over. “Hi, Catherine!”

When our mother died, I’d dropped out of Stanford so I could return home and become Elise’s guardian, and I’d never once regretted it until now. If Elise had had to tough it out in a group home or something, she wouldn’t have been so goddamn friendly.

Catherine stopped on the other side of the fence, which only came up to the middle of her thighs. “Hello, everyone. Fancy seeing you here.”

Elise hopped up, glancing around at the surrounding tables. “We were just talking about you. Come join us. Surely we can find another chair.”

Miles pushed away from the table. “It’s cool. I can stand. It helps digestion anyway. And everyone knows pancakes are easier to eat while standing.”

Catherine waved them both off, giggling softly. “No, I couldn’t possibly. All of you look so nice, and I look like a complete slob. I don’t want to drag you guys down.” Her cheeks were flushed, and she avoided looking at me. She’d done a lot of that the last few weeks. Avoidance was her art form.

“Are you kidding me? You look adorable,” Elise cooed. “Please, come sit with us.”

Catherine held up a shopping bag. “I’m just on my way home and have my hands full, so I’d better go. Thank you, though.”

Catherine continued on her way, though she wasn’t moving fast, which made sense given the size of her belly. It had gone from a subtle swell to having its own gravitational pull. Sometimes, I debated asking her if there were twins in there, but I wasn’t stupid enough to let that question leave my mouth. I’d already stuck my foot in it enough times.

Unexpected disappointment gnawed at me as she made her way down the sidewalk. The way she’d called herself a slob while avoiding eye contact with me stuck in my mind.

I stood, throwing my napkin on the table. “Excuse me. I have to speak to her. I’ll be right back.”

By the time I caught up with her, Catherine was at the corner. She watched me approach with wary eyes, her bag clutched in front of her like a shield.

“Come back. Elise will skin me alive if I let you leave.” I stopped in front of her, peering down at her. I always forgot how short she was since she didn’t seem short. Then again, this was the first time I had seen her outside a work environment. She was normally pressed and pristine, with neat hair and simple, classic clothing. Today, her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy, unruly bun, and she was cozy in a hoodie and leggings.

“Please tell her I already ate.” She tugged at her hoodie, which was oversized everywhere except where it stretched over her belly. “I really feel way too schlubby to go to a restaurant, and all of you—”

“You look nice. No one’s going to judge you for wearing a hoodie when you’re thirty-seven weeks—”

“Wait, you know how many weeks I am?” Her brow knitted in confusion.

“Of course. You told me five weeks ago. Five plus thirty-two equals thirty-seven. It isn’t difficult.”

“Oh.”

She blinked, and it was then I really noticed how tired she looked. Maybe she wore makeup to work to disguise the dark circles beneath her eyes and she wasn’t now, or maybe she’d had a bad night. Either way, she looked like she needed rest. And soon.

“Please, come,” I urged, uneasy with keeping her standing here longer than necessary.

She shook her head. “No, I honestly wouldn’t be comfortable.”

I cocked my head. “Is this my fault? Because I made one comment about your clothes?”

I’d known right away I had hurt her feelings, but it hadn’t been intentional. She’d appeared uncomfortable in her dress that had barely fit over her bump. Seeing her yank and tug at her dress had been like nails on a chalkboard to me. I’d wanted her to remedy it so I didn’t become consumed with her comfort when I had ten thousand other things I had to deal with.

“It’s nothing like that.” She blinked again, slower this time. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you Monday. Have a nice brunch with your friends, Elliot.”

“Wait. One more thing, then I’ll let you go.”

She lowered her chin into the fabric of her sweatshirt, waiting for me to proceed.

“Girl or boy?” I nodded toward her middle.

She brought her hand up to the top of her belly, slowly smoothing it along the curve. “She’s a girl.”

“All right. Elise wanted to know—”

“Goodbye, Elliot.”

When she walked away this time, I didn’t stop her. But I waited there on the street corner, watching her until she disappeared into a nearby parking lot.

Our food was on the table when I got back to the restaurant. I was hoping I could dig in without any further discussion, but Miles had to have the last word.

“So, I have to ask the question I know everyone is dying to know,” Miles stated.

I kept my focus on my omelet. “Do you really have to?”

“I do.”

I raised my eyes to meet his. “Then tell me, Miles, what is everyone dying to know?”

His mouth slid into a lazy smirk. “Tell us the truth, Elliot. Is the baby yours or what?”

Groaning, my head fell forward. Miles had better hope we didn’t run into a mountain lion on this hike. I’d offer him up for lunch without even thinking twice.