Chapter 35
If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)
âHow you doing, kiddo?â Dad asks as I usher him into my apartment. âLooks like maybe youâre a little busy.â
My laptop sits open on the couch, surrounded by snacks, papers, Post-it Notes, and my list for the gala. Which is in three days. I still havenât managed to muster up the lady balls to broach the subject of me and Hollis. There isnât an easy way to slide it into conversation. Hey, Dado, how would you feel if I started dating your best friend? doesnât seem like the smoothest option. Neither does saying, What if I dated a hockey player? You know him. Heâs a really good guy, donât worry. âJust double-checking all the last-minute details. Whatâs up?â
He produces a gift bag from behind his back. âI got you something.â
âFor what? You didnât need to do that. I just had my birthday.â
âFor the gala. Hemi canât stop talking about how youâve stepped up and taken the lead. Iâm so proud of you. You havenât even graduated yet, and youâre already doing all these amazing things. I wanted to get you something to celebrate all youâve accomplished.â
âYou didnât need to.â Here he is, buying me presents and being an awesome dad, and Iâm sneaking around with Hollis. The bucket of shame gets heavier with every passing day.
He takes me by the shoulders, expression earnest. âYouâre my one and only, Peggy. I want to celebrate you every chance I get. I know this world isnât an easy one to grow up in, and it hasnât always been sunshine and roses, but youâve turned into an incredible young woman. Itâs such an honor to be your dad.â
I wave my hands in front of my face. âYouâre making me cry.â
He pulls me against him and squeezes tightly.
I want to appreciate his love and support, but Iâm deceiving him every day. I have to fix this. Maintaining boundaries with Hollis when weâre with the people we care most about is becoming a challenge. Iâve found myself almost reaching for him more than once in front of my dad.
Hollis is right; we canât keep this secret forever.
âGo on.â Dad holds out the bag. âOpen it.â
My hands are unsteady as I pull the ribbon free and remove the tissue paper and the small jewelry box. I already know whatâs inside. Any time Iâve accompanied my dad to one of his suit fittingsâwhich is every single one heâs had since I was a teenagerâI window shop at the exclusive jewelry store nearby and fawn over a specific pair of earrings. Theyâre ungodly expensive and nothing I ever need. Let alone deserve.
I flip the lid open and try not to cry. Inside are the diamond earrings Iâve admired for years. âDad, this is too much.â
âConsider it an early graduation gift, if you need to, but I thought they would be beautiful with your dress. You should put them on, and the dress. Iâve only seen pictures.â
âThank you. I love you. Youâre the best dad.â I wrap my arms around him, and he returns the embrace.
âI love you to pieces, sweetheart. And I know I can be a lot sometimes, but itâs only because I want the best for you.â
âI know. And I love you for it.â
He waits in the living room while I put on my gala dress, shoes, and earrings.
I take a few deep breaths, working to keep my emotions in check. Iâm so scaredâof his reaction, of the possibility that Hollis might not choose me if my dad isnât okay with us dating. But I wonât know if I donât test the waters.
I open my bedroom door, and the expression on my dadâs face nearly undoes my composure. His hand goes to his chest, and he looks as though heâs on the verge of emotion, like me. âYou are just so beautiful.â
âThe earrings are perfect. I love them.â
âThey go with the dress okay?â he asks.
âTheyâre amazing, and Iâll only ever buy dresses to match them.â Theyâre yellow diamonds ringed in white diamonds and unbelievably indulgent.
âYou worked so hard for this. I know this semester has been stressful for you, but youâre almost there. The finish line is in sight. And I know the PR assistant position with the team isnât quite yours yet, but Iâm excited to have you back in the office. We all loved having you there. And while it isnât the job I envisioned for you, I love that Iâll finish out my contract with you in house.â
âMe, too.â Fingers crossed they donât find someone with better qualifications.
âJust donât date any of the players and weâll be fine,â Dad adds with a smile.
My stomach lurches. âTheyâre good guys, though. I mean, I know Flip can be an issue, but even heâs been there to look out for me.â
âTheyâre young and full of hormones.â
âYou would know, since Iâm standing here.â
âTouché,â he mutters.
This is the chance to lay some groundwork. To plant the seed. To finally be honest with him and alleviate some of this guilt Iâve been carrying for months. I can be brave. âLook at Tristan. He was a hot mess last year off the ice, and now heâs head over heels with Rix. Heâs desperate for her to move in with him. I know there were some issues with him and Flip for a bit, but theyâve worked it all out. Now Rix and Tristan are so in love, and Flip and Tristan are still best friends.â
Dadâs jaw clenches, and his expression darkens. âI would murder Hollis and bury him in a very deep grave if he ever put his hands on you.â
My heart feels like itâs been put in a vise. Just like that, any hope I had that I wouldnât destroy everything by telling him about me and Hollis goes up in flames.