Chapter 38
If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)
âIhope youâre not upset with me for bidding on you,â Scarlet says with a smile. âItâs such a worthwhile cause. I know youâre not looking to rekindle, Hollis, and I completely understand, but Iâm only here for another month, and I didnât want to leave without seeing you again.â She looks slightly embarrassedâand hopeful. She did just spend a hundred grand on a night with me.
People snap pictures of the couples on the dance floor. I can already predict how this will look when they hit social media. There will be endless speculation. Are we getting back together? Is this the beginning of Hollis and Scarlet 2.0? How the hell will Aurora deal with it? How can I put her through something like this?
Hindsight is an asshole. I should have told Hemi to pull me from the auction regardless of the suspicions it might raise. Weâd been lulled into a false sense of security, believing it wouldnât turn out this way. I should have talked to Roman, admitted I have feelings for his daughter months ago instead of all this sneaking around, let him knock out a few of my teeth if thatâs what needed to happen. This is the shitstorm Iâve created. I scan the room for Aurora, but the lights have been dimmed.
Scarletâs hand slides over my shoulder and rests on my chest. âI know I hurt you in the past, but itâs been years, Hollis. This could be good for both of us.â
I glance down at her. âIn what way, exactly?â
âYouâll be retiring from hockey in the next few years, moving on to the next phase. Youâd be great at sportscasting. Maybe you even want to try your hand at acting?â
Cold realization slithers down my spine. âIs this a publicity stunt?â
She gives me an imploring look. âIt could be good for your career to be seen with me, donât you think? We can push the platonic angle if thatâs what you want. I know the last year has been a challenge. Back-to-back injuries, two surgeries. It canât be easy. I want to help. I want only good things for you. Iâm trying to apologize for what I put you through, make it up to you the one way I know how, Hollis.â
Of course this is how she sees it. Sheâs the same woman I dated all those years ago, just older and smarter, but still intensely focused on her career. And apparently mine.
I keep searching the room for Aurora. I need to tell her Iâm done hiding whatâs going on between us. Iâll deal with Roman and the fallout, whatever it is. I should be on the dance floor with her tonight. She should be the person in my arms.
My stomach sinks as I spot her rushing for the exit, the skirt of her dress billowing out behind her, head down, hand covering her mouth.
When will this fucking song end?
âHollis.â Scarletâs voice drags my attention back to her. Her expression is pained, uncertain.
âI genuinely appreciate what youâre trying to do, Scarlet, but I donât want the media speculation this will bring. Iâm seeing someone else right now. She knows about the auction, but I canât handle the rumors and press.â Not when Iâm deeply in love with her. If Iâd been smart, I would have told Scarlet that when I said I wasnât interested in trying again. âI donât think being around each other is good for me.â My voice comes out a lot sharper than I intend.
âIâm sorry. I justâ¦I thought I was helping.â
âI know. I appreciate it, truly. Itâs notâ¦â I sigh. âThere are other things going on in my life.â
âI understand.â For a moment, I see the young woman Iâd fallen in love with all those years before she turns on her movie star smile before stepping out of my arms. âIâll see you around.â
The song finally ends, thank fuck.
I excuse myself so I can find Aurora and run into Tristan on the way out of the ballroom.
âWhatever youâre going to say, I donât need to hear it,â I snap.
He holds up both hands. âI already expressed my concerns. Hammer is hiding around the corner trying to keep her shit together, so maybe go fix what you broke instead of worrying about me.â
I brush by him and step out into the open foyer. A few small groups are gathered with glasses in hand, others head for the restrooms. I go in the opposite direction and find Aurora tucked into a narrow alcove, her back to me, shoulders shaking.
âPrincess?â
She spins around, and it feels like someone punched through my rib cage and ripped my heart out of my chest. This is the very last thing I wanted to happen. I hate seeing her cry. Hate that I could have prevented this. Should have.
She ducks her head. âIâm fine. Itâs fine. Itâs my fault. Iâm so stupid.â
I move in and I wipe away her tears with my thumbs, but new ones keep falling. âItâs not your fault, and youâre not stupid. Youâre so smart I donât even know what to do with myself half the time.â
âI did this to us. You tried to take yourself out and I said no. And now sheâll have you all to herself for a whole night, like she wanted, and thereâs nothing I can do about it. What if you decide you want to give her another chance?â
âThat wonât happen, Aurora. You are the only woman I want.â I brush my lips over hers. âThe only one.â
She curves one palm around the back of my neck and fists the lapel of my tux with the other. âI hated seeing you together. I hate that you can dance with her, and you canât do that with me. That you can touch her, that she can touch you. I want to be the one you take on dates.â
âI want the same thing.â I stroke her cheek. âAnd I know it wonât be easy, or simple, but Iâll deal with Roman.â
âHe wonât be okay with it, though. He already said as much.â Her voice wavers with fear.
âIâll make it right.â Like I should have done weeks ago. âNot being able to celebrate with you has been hell. I canât watch you from the sidelines anymore,â I admit.
âIâm just so scared.â Sheâs practically shaking in my arms. âWhat if it damages my relationship with him? Or your relationship? What if we canât fix it and itâs too late? I donât want to lose him. He could decide none of the sacrifice was worth it. What if he never forgives me?â
âYouâre his world, Aurora, nothing will change that. But Iâll fix this, Princess. Iâll make it better.â I sweep her tears away. âWhen weâre alone, Iâll make it up to you,â I murmur. âIâll take away all the hurt.â And Iâll tell you exactly how I feel about you. When we have privacy. âDoes that sound good?â
She nods.
I brush my lips over hers again, powerless against the pull.
âWhat the hell?â Romanâs disbelief-laced voice is a bucket of ice poured over our heads.
I move Aurora behind me as I spin to face him. The person Iâve been lying to for months. Who I should have been honest with ages ago. Who Iâve betrayed in the worst way possible.
Of course this is happening now. As if this night wasnât already a shitshow of epic proportions. Everything Aurora has worked for, all sheâs done to prove herself, will be overshadowed. What kind of lasting damage will that do? What will the ripple effect do to her, to Roman, to us?
His wild gaze moves from me to Aurora, whoâs mostly hidden behind me. âPeggy?â His voice is low and unsteady.
âRoman.â I raise both hands. In surrender. In supplication. âI can explain.â
His confusion is replaced with cold realization and simmering rage. âExplain? What did you do, Hollis?â He moves closer, wild eyes focused over my shoulder. âGet away from my daughter.â
âRoman.â
âNow.â
I reach behind me and uncurl Auroraâs fist from my jacket, but donât release it as I move two steps to the side. Sheâs sheet white, her chin trembles, and her eyes dart between me and Roman. His livid gaze is locked on our joined hands.
âPeggy?â His shaking voice is full of barely contained fury and fear. âWhatâs going on here?â
Her shaking hand goes to her lips. âWe wanted to tell you. We were going to tell you.â
âYou were going toââ His jaw clenches and he snarls. His dark gaze snaps to mine. âHow long has this been going on? What is going on?â
I squeeze her hand. âI care very deeply for Aurora.â This canât be how I tell her Iâm in love with her.
âThatâs not a fucking answer!â he shouts. âHow long, Hollis?â
I swallow the guilt and own the truth. âA few months.â
His eyes flare, and he rushes forward. Aurora tries to step in front of me, but I block her. Romanâs fist connects with the wall behind my head, and Aurora grabs hold of me. Iâm set off balance and go down on my bad knee. The pain is momentarily blinding. I deserve itâfor lying to Roman, for falling for his daughter, for keeping her a secret.
âHollis!â Auroraâs hands are on my face.
âDonât touch him!â Roman roars.
âDad! Stop!â Aurora pleads.
âPrincess, please step back. This needs to happen,â I murmur.
âYou fucker.â Roman grabs me by the lapels and drags me to my feet. âYouâve been going behind my back andâdating my daughter? Sheâs twenty-one years old!â
âWeâre both adults, Dad,â Aurora snaps.
He shoves me into the wall but lets me go as his angry gaze shifts to her. âThen why are you sneaking around likeâ¦like teenagers?â
âBecause I knew this is how youâd react!â Aurora bites back.
âWhat did you expect?â His expression turns incredulous. âThat Iâd be overjoyed to find out my best friend and my daughter have been lying to me?â He scrubs a hand down his face. âFor months. Heâs on my fucking team, dammit!â
âHollis wanted to say something weeks ago, but I asked him to wait. And then I tried to bring it up with you, but you made it clear you werenât going to be okay with it,â Aurora says softly.
âI have only ever asked one thing of you, Peggy. And that was not to date a hockey player. Our lives are too fucking unstable. You deserve a partner who is present for you all the time.â He runs a hand over his face. âIs this what the whole Tristan and Rix conversation was about the other day?â His livid gaze shifts from her to me. âYou cowardly piece of shit. You put it on my daughter to tell me?â
âI thought it would be better coming from me,â she says. âI wanted the gala to be over and my exams finished before this happened.â Auroraâs voice cracks. âI needed it to be a success so the Terror would want to hire me because Iâm qualified and not because youâre my dad, or not hire me because Iâm dating a player.â
Romanâs gaze swings back to me. âDo you hear her? You did this.â He points an accusing finger at me. âYou are the reason my daughter is crying and defending your lying, worthless ass.â
âThe last thing I wanted was to hurt Aurora. She asked to wait until the end of school and the season. Itâs the only reason I agreed to wait, but I should have come to you sooner. I should have been honest with you.â I search for a way to fix this, to unbreak what Iâve broken.
âBut you didnât, and you werenât.â He paces the small hallway. âHow this looksââ He laces his hands behind his head. âYouâre making me question seven fucking years of friendship, Hollis. I should never have trusted you with my daughter.â
âI would neverâ ââ
He slices his hand through the air. âBut you did!â His eyes are wild, chest heaving. âAre you sleeping together?â He glances between us. The answer must be written on our faces because his turns a terrifying shade of red.
âI care about Aurora, Roman,â I say softly.
âYou care about her?â He motions toward the end of the hall, the thump of upbeat dance music a discordant soundtrack to this nightmare unfolding. âYou were just auctioned off to your ex. If you care so much about Peggy, how could you allow that to happen? How could you get up on that stage and let someone else buy a night with you when youâre involved with my goddamn daughter?â
âI didnât thinkâ ââ
âNo, you didnât. Look at what youâve done.â He motions to Aurora, whoâs hugging herself now, tears streaming down her face.
âI was trying to protect her.â The words taste sour, like a bad lie. How am I supposed to explain that I was trying to honor her wishes? That weâre both falling in love and scared out of our minds at what that means.
âFuck you and fuck that. You never should have put her in this kind of position. You put yourself between me and my daughter. You knew how to do this right. You knew how I would feel about all of this. If youâd asked instead of doing what you wanted behind my back, I might not have lost my fucking mind. But weâll never know, will we? This is a massive betrayal, Hollis. How could you do this to my daughter?â
âYou said you would murder him if he ever touched me,â Aurora says softly.
âDays ago. I said that days ago. That doesnât account for the months of secrecy before that.â His voice shakes with ire. âLike sheâs something to be ashamed of.â
âI know youâre upset, and you have every right to be, but this conversation would be better somewhere private,â I tell him.
He looks at me like Iâm the one whoâs lost his mind. âI canât have a conversation. Iâm livid. I donât feel like youâre my friend or my teammate right now.â He motions between us. âThis. I donât know if itâs even fixable. My concern is Peggy. This isnât about you or our friendship. I need to figure out how to help her manageâ¦whatever this shit is.â He holds out his hand. âPeggy, sweetheart, weâre going home.â
âHollis, please,â she whispers, her expression imploring. Torn.
But I donât want to create more dissension than I already have. Her relationship with her dad is the most important thing to Aurora. I squeeze her hand, nodding. âYou should go. Iâll tell Hemi.â
The way her face crumbles breaks my damn heart, but weâre not solving anything tonight. I want to go to her. I want to sweep her away and tell her how much I love her. That I would do anything for her. I would sacrifice anything to make her happy.
Instead, I let her go, and Roman puts a protective arm around her shoulder. He shakes his head, disappointment leaching through the anger as he shoots me a hateful glare and guides her down the hall.
Leaving me with a truckload of regrets.