Chapter 8
If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)
âWho needs a top up on their drink?â I bring a fresh bottle of prosecco into the living room, along with another of sparkling grape.
A chorus of meâs follows.
I make a circuit around the room, filling glasses with the appropriate drink. Hemi, Tally, Shilpa, Rix, and Dred are over to watch tonightâs game. Itâs a good break from all the angst up in my head.
âItâs a strong start to the game,â Hemi observes.
âRomanâs killing it in net tonight,â Shilpa adds.
âHe was worried about this game, so Iâm glad heâs playing smooth.â His goal has always been to go out on top, and so far heâs been making that happen.
âHow are we for snacks? Does anyone need anything else?â I survey the table. âShould I top up the chips?â
âYou should sit down and chill out for five minutes.â Rix pats the couch cushion beside her.
I set the bottles in the ice bucket and take the offered seat. The camera pans to the bench where Hollis is chewing on his mouth guard. I take a hefty gulp of my prosecco, relieved when the game goes to commercial break since I canât tear my eyes away.
I mute the TV. âHowâs everything going with your dance competition, Tally?â
âGood. Itâs a complicated routine, but if we can pull it off, itâll be a great finish to my senior year.â
âYou will, youâre so dedicated,â Hemi says proudly.
âAre there any guys on your dance team that youâre interested in?â Dred asks.
Tally laughs. âFor the most part those guys are interested in each other. But honestly, last year two of the people on my core troop started dating, and then there was drama and it just got awkward when they broke up. We spend so much time together, so weâre all close, and I can see how easy it would be to give in to that temptation, but the fallout sucks for everyone.â
âI relate to that awkwardness,â Rix says.
âItâs probably why Roman has always been on you about never dating the players,â Hemi says with a chuckle.
âYeah, thatâs part of it.â I take another sip of my prosecco and fight the flush working its way into my cheeks. Having a thing for one of the players would be bad enough, but this thing I have for Hollis is on a totally different level. âMostly he wants me to end up with someone normal, so I have stability. Which I understand, but the flip side is that normal guys donât really understand my life. I just want someone who will show up for me the way you all do.â And I need to stop wanting that person to be Hollis.
âIt goes both ways, doesnât it,â Dred muses as her knitting needles clink soothingly against each other. Sheâs making toques for the unhoused who frequent the library where she works. Sheâs amazing. âYou show up for all of us.â
âAnd you really showed up for me.â Rix hugs my arm.
âYouâre a badass babe,â Hemi declares.
âThis,â Shilpa agrees.
âTo badass babes.â Hemi raises her glass, and we all follow.
âWe should have Badass Babe Brigade shirts,â I muse.
âIâll have them designed,â Hemi replies.
âWeâll be our own team,â Tally says with a grin. âOfficially.â
âYeah, we will.â
Iâm half in the bag, thanks to all the prosecco, and struggling to get my sleep shorts on when Hollis messages.
Hollis
Hey, checking in.
I forgot to feed the boys. They might be able to wait until morning, but it increases the risk of Postie taking an anger dump on Hollisâs bed. Pajama situation sorted and phone in hand, I step into the hall. Rixâs door is closed, and her light is off. I pause, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth. Part of me wants to use his spare bedroom to be a brat.
I return to my bedroom, stuff Batdick into my purse, shove my feet into a pair of fluffy slippers, and leave the apartment with Hollisâs fob. Two minutes later, I let myself into his penthouse. A single light illuminates the living room. As predicted, he forgot to shut his bedroom door. I drop my purse in the hall outside his room and peek inside. Postie and Malone are curled up together on his pillow.
I scan the room for the kitty cam. I spot it on his dresser, across from his bed. Itâs tucked beside a small stack of books and a framed crayon drawing from his niece.
My stomach flips, and my mouth goes dry. The camera has a perfect view of the bed and the door leading to the hall. I believe him when he said he deleted the video without watching. Hollis is honorable and a rule follower. If his physical therapist tells him to sit in the hot tub for half an hour, he times it. If the team doctor says he needs to up his lean protein, he has Rix tailor his meals to hit that target. But I wish for once he could have let go of his rule-following ways and watched the video, instead of deleting it.
Postie stretches, and Maloneâs tail twitches. I glance from them to the camera. Itâs late. Hollis is probably in bed, already asleep. How much harm would it do if I joined the kitties for a minute or two? Just provide the cuddles theyâre missing before I give them a snack. Huff Hollisâs pillow. Maybe even steal one of them for a possible self-gratification session in his spare bedroom. I climb up onto the bed. Malone lifts his head, and Postie gives me a head butt.
âHi, boys. Sorry Iâm so late for a little loving and a treat.â I scratch under their chins.
My phone buzzes from the hallway, where itâs tucked inside my purse.
I ignore it.
âYou missing your daddy?â I rest my head on the pillow and inhale deeply. Iâm not disappointed. Hollisâs aftershave permeates the fabric.
My phone buzzes again. And again.
Postie trots to the end of the bed and hops to the floor. Malone climbs onto my chest and headbutts my chin.
My phone goes off again. This time with a call.
âCome on, buddy, thatâs probably your daddy losing his mind because Iâm in his bed again.â I move him off my chest and roll to the edge of the mattress, popping to my feet.
My heart thunders in my chest, and Iâm suddenly anxious. I donât know why Iâm acting like this. Maybe because Iâm hurt? Maybe because he canât do anything about it while heâs a flight away?
The call ends but starts again a few seconds later. I answer it on the second ring.
âYouâre pushing it,â Hollis growls into the phone.
Everything tightens at his gravelly tone. âI was just petting the boys.â And huffing your pillow. âIf you closed your bedroom door, I wouldnât have to cuddle with them before I entice them out of your bed with treats.â
âIf you shake the treats, theyâll come running,â he says. âApparently, thereâs a microphone in the camera.â
I swallow past the lump in my throat and head for the kitchen. âRight, okay.â I put him on speakerphone and set the phone on the counter while the boys meow their treat excitement.
âIâll regret telling you that,â he mutters.
âYouâre the one putting kitty cams in your house without telling me, Hollis.â Itâs easier to push him when heâs not right in front of me.
âYouâre the one masturbating in my bed,â he fires back.
My whole body clenches. I wish Iâd recorded him saying the word masturbate. âI thought we werenât ever talking about that again.â
âYet there you were, rolling around in it again, while dressed in almost nothing.â
I look down. âIâm wearing pajamas, not almost nothing.â
âWere you dressed like that in the elevator? Did anyone else see you?â he snaps. âMen can be real creeps.â
I canât tell if this is a dad-style reprimand or what. âYes, Hollis. The elevator was actually full of people at eleven at night. In fact, a whole team of horny rugby players were on it with me. A few of them were super hot, too. They asked for my number, and I figured, why not, right?â
âDo not fuck with me right now, Princess,â he warns.
My vagina gets excited and takes the reins. âOr what, Hollis? What are you going to do about it when youâre all the way in Nashville and Iâm in your kitchen, wearing almost nothing?â
Iâm half drunk on prosecco. Thatâs the only explanation for the crap Iâm spewing.
âYou need a lesson in respecting boundaries, little girl.â
I flick on the kitchen light and rummage around in the fridge for the catsâ food. Iâm angry, horny, and hopped up on adrenaline, so my hands are shaking. I accidentally drop the can on the floor, causing Malone to jump and lumber down the hall. Postie isnât as easily dissuaded. âIs that what you want to do? Teach me a lesson?â I canât stop goading him. All this pushing will probably bite me in the ass.
He grunts. âStop slamming things around. Youâre freaking Malone out.â
âStop spying on me like a dirty daddy.â I wonder where mine is.
âA dirtyâ¦â He huffs. âWhat are you trying to accomplish, Peggy?â
âI came over to feed the cats before bed. Thatâs it. Youâre the one using your spy cams and getting on my ass about my sleepwear. What are you trying to accomplish, Hollis?â Iâm acting like a spoiled brat, I realizeâbehaving like the little girl heâs accused me of being. Maybe because heâs trying to keep me in the Peggy box when I want to be someone else to him. I spoon food into both dishes and move Postie to his bowl when he goes for Maloneâs food first.
âI want you to respect my boundaries.â
I whistle and call Maloneâs name, but he doesnât come. Probably because I scared the shit out of him with all my banging around and the loud voices.
âMalone is under my covers,â Hollis says.
âDo I have permission to retrieve him?â Iâm all snark with a heaping side of attitude.
âYes, you have permission to retrieve him.â
I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and return to Hollisâs bedroom. It only takes a moment to coax Malone out from under the covers. I carry him like a baby back to his bowl, pulling Hollisâs bedroom door closed behind me. Postie, as expected, has already eaten half of both bowls. I top up Maloneâs dish and distract Postie with petting so Malone can eat his food in peace.
âPeggy?â Hollisâs voice comes from the counter.
âYup.â I half expected him to hang up by now, since Iâm being antagonistic.
âThere are a couple of hoodies in the front hall closet.â
âIâm not leaving yet. And literally no one was on the elevator when I came up here.â
âJust grab one, please.â
I scan the room, looking for the kitty cam. I spot it across the room by the TV. I roll my eyes dramatically, but cross to the front hall closet and open the double doors. Hollis has an exceptional collection of shoes and jackets. My knees turn to Jell-O as I inhale the scent of his cologne.
I choose a zip up, pull it from the hanger, and shrug into it. Itâs the one he wore the other day when we went to the diner. I turn toward the camera. âHappy now?â
âImmensely.â His voice is guttural.
I grab my phone from the counter before I cross the room and pick up my purse from where I left it outside his bedroom door.
âWhat are you doing now?â
âWhat you said I could.â I head down the hall to the spare bedroom. âSweet dreams, Hollis.â I end the call before he can respond.