Chapter 50

Krey was silent for a long time, so Pip waited.

Krey eventually stopped breathing like he was in such a huff. He stopped gripping the back of Pip's hoodie. His heart soon calmed. Pip liked to think that he had a soothing effect on Krey. Pip knew how easy it was to calm down when others around you were relaxed too.

"Everything is pissing me off," Krey spoke eventually.

"Even me?"

"Everything apart from you."

Pip bit the inside of his lip. He was anxious about his next words, so chose them carefully, "I thought you were angry at me."

Krey was silent for a little longer. "You could never make me angry."

"B-But the way you acted, you changed so fast, I thought I said something wrong. You scared me."

Krey brushed their noses together and tightened his arm around him. "I'm sorry." He sighed. "When I'm like that, I deal with it alone. Now that you're here, I shouldn't just storm off and that annoyed me, so I stormed off because I was annoyed about not being able to storm off. This anger shit is an issue, but at least you know what to expect from me now." Krey had said all along that he wasn't a nice person.

Pip was the one to be silent now. Krey had said sorry, and that was enough. "What made you so angry?" he asked before the silence seeped down his throat.

"The stares," Krey mumbled. "In the canteen. I'm sick of it."

"tell them that it annoys you."

"I did on my way back here." Krey turned onto his back and pulled the duvet down to stare at his ceiling. The air was cold enough for Pip to see his breath, but Krey was hot. "A group were talking about you, saying that you were not what they expected, and how it was funny that you avoided their eyes instead of the other way around. They were going to make a game to see how much they could intimidate you. I snapped and would have ripped them apart if Sid didn't step in and recommend another punishment." Krey glanced to Pip.

Pip was a little hurt that they weren't sympathising with his situation and trying to make the institute as welcome as possible. But he expected at least some werewolves to find his shyness entertaining. Pip was very different to them, and they probably hated the change. Still, that was no excuse to be nasty. "What was the punishment?" he asked.

"to strip all the wallpaper in the entire institute, then paint the walls white. If it's not done by Monday morning, I'll personally punch each of them in the face."

Pip bit his lip to stop himself from showing that he found the punishment a little funny. "That's better than ripping them apart."

"I don't agree."

Pip sat up and crossed his legs. "Um, so you were angry because of the staring in the canteen? I-I can't stop thinking about how you changed so quickly."

"I do that a lot. I'm just used to being by myself to deal with it." Krey was no longer feeling as moody. He sat up too. "I tried to go for a walk, so you didn't have to feel awkward. I suppose you should see this side of me. You'll see it again."

"Have you always been like that?"

"Yes. I've never had patience. I just get violent, then deal with the talking stuff after."

"And, um, a-as Alpha, do you need to change that?"

"No. wolves fear me. That's good."

"Is it?"

"Yes. They stay disciplined."

"Was your da-" Pip stopped himself. "Never mind."

"Ask," Krey said, picking at the nail on his thumb.

"Was your dad the same way?"

"No. He could be stern but understanding too. He could sort situations just by talking. He rarely punched anyone." Krey sighed. "He made a good Alpha. I'm shit."

"How can you say that?"

Krey, surprised by the slight raise in Pip's voice, shut his mouth. Pip spoke so quietly all the time, a raise in his voice lifted it to a normal speaking volume.

"You've been Alpha for only two months. How can you say you're rubbish when you've spent the entire time grieving? You're too hard on yourself."

"I'm not. I should be able to put my grief aside and just get on with it." Krey flopped back against the cushions, glaring up at the ceiling again. "I'm weak."

"Krey." Pip shook his head and crawled closer. He leaned over him, so Krey had no choice but to see his face. "Nobody expects you to be okay."

"My mother does."

"I'm sure she-"

"You don't know her like I do. She spends half the time pestering me about not driving my dad's pack into the ground. I don't fucking know what I'm doing. She should have taken the position, not me. I thought my dad would live to a fucking million or something. I should have had years to figure this out."

"Why couldn't your mum take the position?"

"She wasn't the alpha, only the alpha's mate."

"Well, I think you're putting unrealistic expectations on yourself. Y-You might be a werewolf, but you're part human with emotions. You lost a parent, Krey. It's normal to not be yourself for a while."

Krey stared at Pip, hovering over him with wise blue eyes. "You're too human."

"Too human for you?"

"No, you're a nice change." Krey pulled Pip on top of him and connected his fingers around Pip's back. "A werewolf mate would've driven me insane. We would have either killed each other or killed everyone around us. You're so nice and forgiving. I don't know how it's possible to be so... trusting. After what you've been through, I don't know how you're coping with being around werewolves." Krey inhaled sharply when Pip's brows pushed together. Krey had said too much.

"What I've been through?" Pip questioned, lying on top of Krey with hands on his chest.

Krey sighed. "I know what happened to your parents."

Pip thought he would have to break it to Krey about the way his parents died. He didn't want Krey to know that was the reason he was so terrified of his wolf, but Krey already knew. "How did you find out?"

"My mum recognised you from a newspaper article around the time it happened. Apparently, my parents were fighting for the writers to say they were mauled by dogs, not wolves. Apparently, there were witnesses who were adamant wolves had done it."

"D-Do you think wolves did it?"

Krey nodded. "There are no wild dogs around here."

Pip had heard the rumours about his parent's death. Thankfully, he wasn't there, but he heard the rumours before the police came to tell him that his parents were dead. Pip's world had shattered because of overhearing gossip.

"Is that why you're scared of dogs, and really scared of our wolves?" Krey asked.

Pip nodded. "I was worried to tell you."

"In case it would make me feel bad?"

"Yes."

"Pip." Krey rolled over, squishing his mate under him. He gripped Pip's face, looking deeply into his eyes. "This bond thing isn't going to be easy, is it?"

"No," Pip said truthfully. Krey was heavy on top of him, but warm, and gently slotting his fingers into his hair. "I-It might be easier if we um, well, if you talk to me a little more."

"About my feelings?"

"Yes."

"I'll try."

"I-If you don't, I'll shout at you." Pip grinned, deepening his dimples, not remembering the last time he shouted at anyone.

Krey scoffed, wondering if Pip was even capable of being angry. He tried to picture Pip scowling, all he saw was frustrated and adorable red cheeks. "I would love to see you mad."

"That's not the point I was trying to get across," Pip chuckled.

Krey soaked up Pip's laughter. "I will try though, I promise."

The way he said those words shivered Pip's spine. He knew Krey meant it.

Krey, feeling much better, flicked intense brown eyes to Pip's mouth. "I really am sorry for scaring you. I'll work on my anger too." Krey's chest felt light. Talking about problems out loud seemed to release all his other stresses.

Pip moved his hands to Krey's broad shoulders. "Thank you for apologising."

"Thank you for giving me a chance to talk." Most people saw the way Krey acted and didn't give him the time of day. Krey then noticed the leather-bound book on the side of the bed. "What's that?" he asked.

"Your mum gave it to me. It talks about human mates."

"Have you read any of it?"

"Yes. I now know why I have a headache and a sore throat."

Krey played with Pip's brown hair. "I'm guessing you know what to do to make yourself feel better?"

"Hug your wolf."

The thought stirred Krey's animal.

"The longer I take to hug your wolf, the sicker I'll feel."

"Yes. It's a design to ensure that human mates don't reject the werewolves. The human would get so sick, they'd beg to connect the bond, then once the bond is connected, they'd feel so in love, they wouldn't remember why they hated the werewolf in the first place."

"That's kind of..." Pip didn't want to say troubling. He was in a situation where he wanted to be with Krey and wouldn't mind connecting the bond if he weren't so scared of Krey's wolf, other humans might not be in his situation. Though, as far as Pip could tell, mates were perfect for each other. He was lucky to have a chance at such a loving relationship. Life could be so much worse, he could still be living with his aunt and uncle, alone. "So, will I feel um... I-In love once the bond is done?" His cheeks reddened.

"You'll probably just feel what I feel; completely fucking devoted to every inch of you." Krey lowered his head and connect their lips. Sparks fizzled in his chest when Pip kissed back.

Krey knew there would be many moment like this, where he apologises for his angry outbursts, and Pip tells him that he was scared, but accepts his apology anyway. I must work on this, for the sake of his happiness, Krey thought, holding Pip in his arms and kissing him deeply.