15. ALWAYS AND FOREVER

I gaze in his eyes wordlessly as he continues to apologize, "I am so sorry, bambi. I didn't mean to upset you like that. Please don't do that again, you had all of us worried sick for you when you didn't answer or open your door." he says tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"S-sorry." I stutter out not knowing what to say anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me, Eliza?" he asks after handing me a glass of water that was resting on my nighstand.

"Are you mad?" I counter question.

My heart starts to beat wildly, once again, as I await his response. Will he reject me?

"I cannot lie and say I am not. I am upset, very upset." he admits.

A crack forms in my heart upon hearing him say that. Maybe, he will reject me and move on.

"I-I understand. It's alright if you do not wish to see me anymore. I-I know that you are upset and you may not even want to be here anymore." I speak timidly.

"Liza!" he sighs in exasperation.

"God! How do I even make you understand? Baby, I am not upset with you. I am just... upset that none of you thought that it was important enough for me to know. I, I can't even begin to imagine what it must had been like for you. Just the mere thought of even a scratch on your body sends my entire being into a frenzy. How can I process the fact that you were kidnapped, that too, for... prostitution. Bambi, it's not your fault. I don't even know what to say to make you understand this. I would have died if something had happened to you. All of you kept it from me, why?" he adds running a hand through his thick brown locks.

My heart melts at his words yet at the same time, I gather the courage to utter my next words, "N-Nick, I thought, I-that you would leave me thinking that I am dirty, no longer pure for you. But, I promise that, that I am pure. I am still your Eliza, they didn't touch me. I-" my rambling was cut short as he puts a hand over my mouth.

My eyes snap to his and I am at a loss of words as I saw various emotions swirling in his eyes. He scoffs before gulping audibly and opens his mouth to say something, "You really think that of me, huh?"

His question makes me frown as I stare at him in confusion, not comprehending the meaning behind it, "Huh?"

"I, Eliza, will never think so low of you. I don't care if you've lost your virginity or not. Purity, for me, comes from here and here." he says pointing at my head and then at my heart before continuing, "I will accept you in any form, under any circumstances. You will always be my Eliza and please, for my sake, stop thinking so low of yourself. Do you really think, even for a second, that I will ever blame for all the shit that you went through?"

I keep looking at him in a daze as a new layer of tears gather in my eyes. He raises a brow awaiting my response and I shake my head in negative.

"No." I whisper.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" he asks and I see desperation pooling his beautiful blue orbs.

I freeze in his hold and look down at his chest, contemplating my answer.

Was I?

Was I not?

I had no clue.

I never thought that he would ask me this because deep down, I was afraid that he would walk away, leave me alone and find someone better. A part of me always thought that he deserves better but the other selfish part of me wanted him all to myself. Wanted him to accept me.

So, was I going to tell him?

"I was afraid." I answer instead.

"Of what?" he counters back in a second.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"You're lying." he speaks more to himself than me, causing me to snap my head up.

He gazed at me incredulously as if he could not believe that I was lying to him. I didn't either.

Was I really lying to the person who knows me the most?

"Wow." he muttered under his breath.

I swallowed the lump in my throat trying to form a coherent sentence.

"Nick." I whispered.

He meets my eyes and my heart shatters as I see the look on his face. He seems to be in physical pain.

"I-I didn't want you to think badly of me. I was afraid that you would leave me and go away." I breathe out shakily.

"Oh." he says and becomes quiet after that for a few moments before deciding to speak again, "So it's me you do not trust." he says quietly.

My eyes widen and I shake my head but he interrupts me before I could say any further, "It's not your fault, don't worry. I hadn't really given you any reasons to believe me either, have I now? I left you alone and went to Italy, I fought a lot with you, I practically dictated your life and I had slept with someone else. It's understandable why you do not have faith in me." he voices out and a tear falls out of his right eye.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes.

"NO!" I shout at him.

He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, "It's not like that. I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?" I ask.

"What do you have to apologize for, baby?" he humorlessly chuckles.

"Nick, don't be like that." I plea cupping his face.

"It isn't easy for me to talk about it and never will be no matter however much time passes. It's my past, the part I would like to leave behind. Forget, if possible." I add.

He sighs loudly and nods his head in understanding, "I understand." he agrees.

"It just breaks my heart, Eliza. Just the mere thought of something this vile happening to my angel is... devastating. I don't know how to react. Just why wasn't I informed?" he questions again.

I look down and play with my intertwined fingers

"Because I didn't want you to know. I-I felt... disgusted with myself. I was there for almost two weeks. And I saw girls younger than me being forced to wear skimpy outfits and heavy make-ups everyday or otherwise they'd get beaten or worse.. raped by the owners. I was lucky enough to make it out alive and unscathed but not everyone was as fortunate. For most of the time period after I was rescued, I felt as if I have lost something inside of me. I didn't want you to know cause I didn't want you to look at me with judging or accusing eyes or as if I disgust you. I don't know what, in particular, made me think that but something did. I couldn't, no, didn't want to face you at that time." I tell him the truth.

His bottom lip quivered and he released a shaky breath before cupping the side of my neck with one hand and grabbing the back of my head with the other, "Eliza, close your eyes." he whispers.

I, immediately, close my eyes without questioning him and a moment later, I feel his full lips descend on mine. The air sucks out of my lungs as my mind fully registers what is happening.

Nick is kissing me!

When I finally recover from my initial shock, I part my lips and kiss him back. Our lips move in perfect sync.

It might sound weird but I had never imagined how kissing Nick would feel like. I had never even imagined kissing him, for crying out loud, despite my feelings. But now as our lips intertwined, I could feel fireworks exploding in my stomach. My heart soars as he pulls me impossibly closer to him so our chests were pressed together.

The kiss was slow, as if he was lulling me to feel comfortable, but it was full of need and passion. My hands shot up to his hair and his chest rumbles with a light hum. He tugs at my hair to angle my neck so he can have a better access.

His thumb rubbed the side of my neck sending a shiver up my spine and his lips begin to move in a fast pace making the kiss become urgent and desperate. Just after a few seconds, I struggle to keep up with him as the need to breathe makes me pull away, abruptly. Panting, I lean my forehead against his neck and the reality of what had just happened makes me curl my hands in his shirt and bury my beet red face in his chest.

His light chuckle reverberates through the room and sends vibrations in my body as his hands comes up to gently stroke my hair and he sighs loudly.

"Look at me, bambi." he whispers and his voice sounds raspy and deep.

I swallow and shake my head. I was too embarrassed to look up not that I regret kissing him, of course not, but I was extremely... shy.

I want a hole to magically appear and swallow my entire being before disappearing again.

I gasp as his hand in my hair tugs my head back and a firm yet gentle grip grasps my chin as our eyes clash. Heat crawls up my neck, once again, as he stares at me with a strong emotion swirling in his midnight sky orbs.

"Bambi, you wouldn't believe if I I tell you that for how long I have been waiting to do this." he speaks softly.

I blink and smile at him feeling my face flame up due to his intense gaze.

"If I have to tell you this thousand times, I will baby, but you don't only have to listen but also believe what I'm about to say to you. Nothing in this life and on this Earth can ever make me look differently at you. I care for you more than you can ever imagine. My day starts and ends with the thoughts of you. My actions depend on your likes and dislikes. Even if I have been away for a long, long time, I never forgot about you. I adore you, baby. Always have and always will. Just tell me what can I do to make you understand this? I'd do just that. I would do anything to put a smile on my favorite face in this whole universe. Liza, you're the best thing in my life, my most precious girl. For as long as I live, no power on earth will be able change this fact. Baby," he pauses and grabs my hand, "you're inked here," he points to his chest, "and here," he places my hand on the side of his head, "always and forever." he finished with a firm kiss on my forehead.

I sit there staring at him, like the idiot I am, not being able to believe how could one person affect another this much. Nick might not be aware about this but he meant as much to me if not more. In his presence, I feel as if all the weight of everything has been uplifted and I am under a thick blanket of warmth and love.

I think it is safe to say that I fell for him that night for the nth time.

That's Nick up there! Hehe. ♥️

Anyways, how are you all? I hope Quarantine is not driving you the the brink of insanity and boredom. Just please be safe and sound, whatever all the governments are doing is for the safety and betterment of the public so please, stay safe and create social distancing as much as possible.

Also, what are your thoughts on the chapter?

Enjoy. x