chapter 13- what have i done

Jayden p.o.v.

After I stormed put the office I slid down the wall trying to  calm myself down and keep my wolf under control.

"You knew this was going to happen jayden." Hunter said and I nearly jumped jot even realising he was there.

"I know." I growled out.

He rolled his eyes at my attitude before sitting on the floor next to me.

"Why have you not spoken to her these past two days." Hunter asked.

"What am I suppose to say Hunter. My world has been trying to take over to mark and mate her when I an around her. There is to much to talk about with her but everytime I try and speak to her there are either people around or my wolf tried to take over. You know how hard he is to control." I said.

"I understand that Jayden but you both really do need to speak. Explain it to your Wolf." Hunter said.

"I have." I said coldly.

"Then you need to tell him you understand but explain how it will make her feel I you just mark and mate her." Hunter said.

Before anyone else could say anything though my wolf spoke.

"Mate is purs. We need mate." My wolf spoke.

"If we mark and mate her then she will be upset. We can not do it with out her pernisoon and we need to speak to her first. We have to much stuff to speak about. " I spoke to my wolf. Recently I have been speaking coldly towards him because I am struggling to control him. However I spoke nicely this time because I understand him but I need him to understand me.

"I guess you are right but I want us to mark her soon jayden." He growled at me before closing the mindlink suprising me.

"What happened?" Hunter asked once he noticed I was no longer in a conversation with my wolf.

"He finally agreed but is saying we will mark her soon." I said with a sigh.

"Take it one day at a time jayden." Hunter spoke.

Before we could say anything else the doors opened and out everyone walked

I walked over to sarah and spoke.

"We need to speak." I said.

"Use the office." I heard alpha xander speak in mindlink before he closed it off.

I nodded at alpha xander in thanks before looking back at sarah. I could see she was nervous even as we sat in the office. I could hear as her heart pounded out her chest and I could see the sweat on her palms and even slightly on her forhead.

"Calm down sienna. I can hear your heart pounding out your chest." I spoke.

She nodded her head and took a deep breathe.

Once I told her we need to talk about us I could see as she froze. She looked really un sure. I could see she was really nervous making me sigh. I wish I could feel what she was thinking and feeling like I would If I had marked her.

"Told you we should mark her." My wolf snarled at me. I shut him out quickly because that will not help the situation.

I stood up and sat next to her and pulled her into me. Her breathing started to calm down and her tesne muscles slowly relaxed.

After a while of her calming down I stood back up and sat in the seat I was previously sitting in.

She took a deep breathe before sighing.

"What would you like to speak about." She asked calmly.

"'I think you know we need to talk about us." I said.

"Us? Are you sure you mean us because if I remember correctly when we first met you said you never wanted this as much as Hunter never wanted us to be mates." She said calmly. Maybe a little to clam to be honest.

I winced at the memory of that.

"I did. Not because I didn't want you but because of who you are-" I started but got cut off.

"Then what is there talk talk about. Who I am is who I will always be jayden I can not change and will not change." Sienna said this time raising her voice.

A growl escosed my lips.

"Let me finish." I growled out. I could feel my dominance coming out and I know she felt it with how she whimpered and breathed heavily.

I am a dominant and as she is my mate she will submit to me most the time. I'm saying most the time because I can see it in her eyes she is stubborn. I know if she feels she needs to she will put her foot down.

However I also know and like that sienna will only ever submit to me. I know if anyone else was to tell her what to do or even raise there voice at her she will have it out with them.

"What I was trying to say is that I never actually really knew anything then. Now I do." I said softly now.

"What are you trying to say jayden?" She asked sighing.

"I don't know what to do sienna. I- I want to be with you  I want us to try this out but how? One minute I want nothing but to hold you and the next I start remembering everything that has happened-" I started saying but got cut off by sienna laughing.

It wasn't a funny laugh though. There was no humour in the laugh what so ever.

I looked st her confused.

"Sarah has accepted me. In fact sarah has become quite a close friend to me jayden. I was horrible to sarah for as long as I can remember. I bullied her to no end. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. My mom tried to kill SARAH. I helped protect not only sarah but also your pack. Tell me jayden what is it that I did wrong ?" She asked coldly.

I started thinking about it for a few seconds before she spoke.

"Exaclty. I did nothing wrong. I only tried to help you all because I knew it was the right thing to do. I didn't have to help you all. I could have let my mom succeed with her plan but I never. I wanted to help you. I have felt nothing but guilt towards everyone in this pack and the warriors who were injured because of my MOM. I have felt nothing but hurt towards me and you but I'm done feeling the hurt. I did nothing jayden. It was my mom. " she shouted with tears running down her face.

With that being said she stormed out the office leaving me sat on the chair speechless. She was right though. Nothing was her fault but yet I held her to all her mothers bad stuff. The only person that was at fault right now was me. I didnt know what to do.

My mate I pushed away all because of her mother has just walked away from me. Have I lost her? Tears came to my eyes as I stared at the wall. All I could think was...

What have I done?