chapter 20- hope

Jayden p.o.v.

It's been 2 days since sienna left to her coven. Two long, stressful and tiring days. I can barely function if I'm honest. I miss her smell, her voice and her little laughs she does when she is with the girls. I never realised how much I loved the laughs and smell and her voice until she left.

All I keep doing is lashing out at everyone to the point even Hunter won't really come up to me much. It's even got to the point of when it comes to training no one will train with me or fight me (in training) because they are scared. Hunter had to stop the last training session I had because I almost killed one of the pack memeber. I didn't mean to and I got the punishment for it alright.

I have the punishment of cleaning all the bathrooms from head to toe. I apologised to the guy who thankfully understood me as he went through something similar with his mate. It's a good job he was understanding and I never actually killed him because I would have been kicked out of the pack.

However that's what I was like for the first two days. Now however I have locked myself in the bedroom because I can not be trusted to not hurt anyone else in the pack. I don't blame them because I can not even trust myself if I'm honest.

I miss her so much and I really need to speak to her but sarah refuses to take me to her. She said it will most likely cause more stress and problems at the moment and for me to either wait until sienna comes back herself or at least  wait until the punishment for sienna mother is done. I had to storm away from Sarah because I felt like lashing out at her as well.

I just know I have fucked up. I'm just hoping its not to late. Then I start thinking about sienna and her coven. How would we even work out anyways ? She will have a coven to run and I am the beta to my pack. I can not just up and leave this pack. This is my home. Just like the coven is sienna home.

One minute I think about the possibility of having to leave sienna and actually reject her. Sometimes I think maybe it's best and would be an easier life for her. However the second that thought comes to mind I get angry at myself and as selfish as it sounds I can not let her go. She is mine and that's the end of it. I will do what it takes to still have sienna as mine.

Snapping me out my thoughts here was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said coldly.

And in walked Hunter.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I said.

He sighed before sitting on bed.

"You need to snap out of this anger jayden." He said.

"Would you be able to small pit of your emotiosnif this was sarah." I growled at him making him roll his eyes at me clearly not fazed by my growl.

"No you are right I would be angry and a mess. However you are scaring s lot of the pack memeber and this will not help you when sienna comes back." Hunter said before his eyes widened.

"When she comes back? You mean she is coming back soon?" I asked with hope.

He groaned before slapping his forhead.

"I was not suppose to say anything until I had the all clear. I might as well tell you noe. Sarah has gone to see sienna to talk to her. She has mindlinked me that she will be joining sienna for the council meeting that will be happening any minute now but after the meeting she will be asking sienna to come back home soon. I do not think she will come back before the punishment is over with her mother but she is hoping she will come just after that. Sienna was going to wait a few weeks but sarah is going to try and push it to sooner." Hunter said.

My eyes where wide as saucers. This is good news. At least I think.

"Jayden do not get to excitedl because she may turn it down and say no. I'm just talking you what me and sarah talked about. Now the most important thing is please don't tell sarah I told you any of this because she will kill me. I really do not want to die yet or be chucked on the sofa for god knows how long." Hunter said pleadingly and half jokingly.

I let out a small chuckle before nodding.

"I won't tell her. Thank you Hunter for this. I really appreciate it. Even if she does not come back earlier thank you for you and sarah trying. It means a lot. I'm sorry for how i have been with you all." I said softly and appreciatively.

He nodded his head and smiled.

"I do not think I am the only once you need to apologise to." He sis and I need he was referring to my family and both of his dads.

"I will apologise to them now." I said.

He nodded his head before we stood up and headed downstairs where my mom and suprisingly his mom (luna precious) was as well.

I walked into the kitchen making everyone stop there conversation and look at me. In the room was rose, daisy, my mom,precious and crystal (hunters twin sister.)

"Hey." I said clearing my throat.

I felt a bit awkward that everyone was staring at me.

"How are you feeling sweetie." My mom asked.

"Alright." I said but the crack in my voice gave away that I really am not alright. That I really have not taken al this well.

"I'm sorry for the awh I have treated you all." I said softly.

Just as I said that in walked my dad and the twin alphas (xavier and xander).

"I see you are feeling a bit better then jayden

" my uncle xander said.

"I do. I'm sorry for the problems I have caused eith the pack. My head just felt fucked.'" I blurted out.

He raised an eyebrow at my language but never said anything. He nodded his head as did my other uncle xavier.

"Don't let this stuff happen again jayden. You are the future beta to this pack. You need to set a role for no matter how hard things get it does not affect the pack.'" My dad said.

I nodded my head in agreement.

"I know dad." I said softly.

He sighed and nodded his head before walking over to me and giving me a big hug that I never realised I needed.

All I could think about was how lucky I am to have all these as my family. I love them all.