chapter 84- adopt?

Sienna p.o.v.

Still in flashback!

Confusion. That's all I can feel right now. I'm not fully sure if Jayden is on the same page as me and I'm not sure if we can have this big responsibility.

I do want for Mitchel and Annabelle to live with us and stay with us forever. I have this urge to protect them, comfort then and love then as though they are my own.

However it scares me because I keep questioning myself can I do it? Can i love them? What if I end up being like my mother ? What if I want them to be with us for the rest off our lives but the twins dont? Or what if Jayden doesn't mean for the rest off our lives? What if he means for a short while until we find them somewhere else... or what if we can not do it because I have a coven to run and soon Jayden will be the Beta to his pack. What if we are to busy for them or make them feel unwanted.

All these negative thoughts are surrounding my heading making me feel dizzy. I looked at Jayden and how he hugged and comforted both the twins. As I looked at him I could already see he was looking at me. He had a frown on his face and kind of looked confused and a bit nervous making me frown in confusion.

"How about you guys go and get ready and have a shower and then get into your pjamas, once you sre done we will all watch some movies together." Jayden said to the twins softly.

They both nodded their head excitedly before rushing out the room, well mitchel headed to our room and Annabelle rushed to the bathroom but not before grabbing her pjamas.

"Let's head to the living room and talk." Jayden said and even though it was a soft tone I could see he was being firm about it as well.

I sighed and nodded. I guess we do need to talk about it and I know he is on about the twins I can just tell.

We headed to the living room and both sat on the sofa. We were quite for a moment before we finally started talking.

"I want you to be honest snd tell me what you think about the twins staying here." Jayden said quietly.

I looked at him confused.

"I love them being here." I said honestly despite my confusion.

He looked at me for a short while and I began to get nervous. Am I making it obvious I'm already attached to them? Does he think we need to find a place for them.

"Put your walls down Sienna." Jayden said.

My eyes widened slightly. I know I could easily search his emotions about the twins but I will not lie I have refused to. Honestly the only reason I refused to check in our bond how he feels about the twins is because I was scared of the outcome. I am scared he has a different emotion about them then me.

I know he hates me having my walls up but honestly he does not normally have to check because I just tell him how I am feeling normally but this time I'm scared to tell him I'm case he has different feelings about it.

I sighed and nodded. Either way I will have to put my walls down cause everyone knows if I do not then they will only worry more and Rage will take over.

I slowly released my walls and let them down.

"What do you feel about the twins being here baby. If you don't want to tell me thenclet your emotions tell me baby. It doesn't matter snd i will not be upset either way." Jayden said softly.

As soon as I let the emotions tell him because I did not know how to say it in words, I could feel the strong emotions coming from Jayden. From sadness, hurt and partly happiness? It honestly confused me.

"Why did you find it hard to tell me that you love them being here?" He questioned.

I didn't really know how to tell him that but i guess I didn't have to as my emotions did that for me.

"You was worried I had different feelings." He more stared them questioned.

He let out a sigh before pulling me onto his lap.

"I'm sorry, I was just worried jayden. I feel this pull towards them as though they are my own babies I was worried that you did not see them thst way and I didn't want you to feel like if I told you I see them more as my own babies then as children in my coven that needed help I worried you would feel forced into us possibly adopting them one day and i-" I started rambling nervously before he cut me off with a kiss.

"I see them as my own pups baby. I have done since I set eyes on them. Rage instantly had a protective feeling over them as did I. I can not lie baby I am hurt that you did not feel you could talk to me about that because I want you to be able to talk to me about anything but it's okay because we can work on that." Jayden said softly snd I felt my heart has melted all over again.

"Im sorry. Its nkt because I didn't feel I could open up to you but because I was scared that you did not feel the same way I did. I want to have them as our own children blood or not i do not care. I want to adopt them of course if you wanted to and they wanted us to but I also feared How I would be as a mother and if I was capable of having a coven and you having your pack while also looking after two children." I said softly.

"Baby you will make an amazing mother that I promise you now. About adopting them baby if this is what you want I am more then willing to do it as well. I would be over the moon but of you want to wait and see if this is what you want then we will. Either way we are in this together baby.  No matter what we do or what the twins want to do." He said softly before kissing my lips.

Before any of us could say anything however we heard a sniffle. Both our heads snapped to the entrance of our living room and their stood the twins.

"You want to adopt us?" I heard Mitchel say at the same time as Annabelle.