Nine

Oh my head. It pounded like someone was inside trying to get out. I cringed as I opened my eyes and light hit my pupils. This was so horrible. Why had I gotten so drunk-?

Emma. She was on top of me, curled between my arm and chest. I was naked. She was naked. Wait. Last night... we had come upstairs for the tour, then the kiss, then the beer pong...

It was all coming back like a mental river flooding my brain. But from what I remembered it had been pretty awesome...

Emma stirred and groaned slightly, I refused to move. I pretended to be asleep when she woke up. No way was I going to let her know I knew she was cuddling me.

I closed my eyes as I felt her stir before sitting up. The covers moved as she came to the realization of what happened. I expected her to get out of bed. Or wake me up and tell me to leave if we were being honest. But instead she just sighed and laid back down, this time not touching me.

Did she want me to leave? I probably should. Usually I did before the girl even woke up.

I stirred and turned over, allowing my eyes open. Emma was already looking at me. She smiled but I could tell she was just as confused as I was.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"Morning," I answered. "I should probably go..."

"Don't," she paused. "You don't have to."

She wanted me to stay? This was new.

I smirked. "You want me to stay?"

She shrugged. "I'd liked if you did."

"Is this your evil plan to force me to help you clean up?"

"Oh please. The cleaning crew is coming later. They'll take care of it."

I laughed. "You have a cleaning crew."

"Too predictable?"

"Very."

She was silent for a moment before breaking the silence. "Last night... I'm sorry if I wasn't..."

"You surprised me," I eased. "Like really surprised me."

She blushed in response.

Then my phone buzzed on her nightstand. I looked over to see an unfamiliar number. Who the hell was calling me at this time? And why did I have a million missed calls from it?

I answered. "Hello?"

"Sam! Where the hell are you?!"

"Um, who's this?"

"It's Megan, you idiot!"

I sat up before looking at Emma. Shit. "Umm, do you need something?"

"I needed to know you were still alive! Thanks for finally answering!"

"Calm down. I stayed at Emma's last night."

Oh Megan couldn't have possibly picked a worse time to call me. And how the hell had she even gotten my number?

"Well excuse me for worrying about you. I thought you were in jail! Do you not remember telling me you'd be home in the morning?"

"I'm fine. I'm sorry, I should've... let you know?" Not like I could've. I didn't have her number until now.

"You know, sometimes you're so inconsiderate."

Then she hung up.

I rubbed my eyes as Emma asked. "Who was that?"

"Brother," I lied. "I might've told him I was coming home last night."

Emma tilted her head. "Sam."

"I know I'm a horrible person."

"Does this mean you have to go?"

Should I? I mean technically I didn't have to. Megan wasn't my mom. But Emma thought it had been my brother. And lingering might not be the best move right now.

I nodded. "I probably should."

She was bummed but tried not to show it. "Okay."

I stood and got dressed. "Go back to sleep. Text me when you wake up."

I knew what this seemed like to Emma, but staying just wasn't my thing. If I stayed she might want to talk about what we were and I honestly needed time to figure this out for myself first.

So she told me she would text me when she woke back up and I left her room.

Downstairs was basically deserted. I assumed everyone had either left late last night or early this morning. I suddenly wondered where Blair was.

I found her in the kitchen leaning over a plate of toast. A glass of water and orange juice sat next to it. She looked pretty hungover. Did I look that bad too?

She spotted me. "Oh wow, there you are. I was wondering when the hell you were gonna show your face."

She was upset too. Great.

I walked closer. "You okay?"

"I mean, other than the fact that you and Emma disappeared, again, and then didn't let me know we were staying the night... No. I'm not okay."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Yeah well, lucky for you Emma has a million spare bedrooms."

I smiled. "Did you...?"

"No. God no. None of those boys deserve this."

I just laughed. "Can we leave now?"

"Sure."

She followed me outside and to my car. The morning was cool but the sun was desperately trying to warm it.

"So," she started. "How was it?"

"It was... she was really good."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow. Surprising."

"Megan called me ten minutes ago."

Blair almost had a heart attack. "What?"

I nodded. "Yeah she was pissed too. I accidentally told her I would be home this morning and I wasn't."

"How'd she even get your number?"

"No idea."

"That's actually kind of... funny," she stated with a laugh.

"It's really not."

"Is too."

"How?"

"Because," Blair chuckled. "You were literally in bed with Emma and Megan still found a way to interfere."

I rolled my eyes. She was right.

Eventually I dropped Blair off and she wished me luck dealing with Megan. I would need it. Just the thought of facing her made me nervous but I wasn't sure why. She could be mad but there was nothing I could do about it.

I decided to smoke a cigarette on the way home. My nerves were jumbled up in my stomach over everything that had happened within the past twenty-four hours.

Emma and I had slept together. What did that mean? Usually it was just another lay to me, but somewhere deep down it didn't feel that way. It was different.

And I had to face Megan in a few minutes. Something I shouldn't care about, but I did. Why did I care? Was it because she was a friend? Was it because I lived with her? I didn't know.

Eventually I couldn't avoid it any longer and stepped through the front door. She was sitting at the counter with her laptop open. Probably working on her school stuff. My body heated up under her glare.

But she didn't say a word.

I proceeded inside and grabbed myself a bottle of water. She proceeded to ignore me. Why now that I was here she had nothing to say?

"So you're not gonna bitch me out?" I asked.

She remained silent.

"Megan."

Nothing.

I moved closer even though I should escape while I could. "Can you at least tell me how you got my number?"

"Shawn left it for me in case of an emergency," she stated.

"And you considered that an emergency?"

"Yes!" she shouted. "Jesus Sam, it's normal to go out and have fun but when you tell someone you'll be home in the morning they expect you to stay true to that! I woke up and you weren't here! And I had no idea where you were... For all I knew you could've been dead!"

Well, I hadn't expected that kind of outburst, but at least we were getting somewhere.

"It's not like I planned to fall asleep," I defended.

She huffed. "Of course."

"Look, I'm sorry," I apologized.

She was silent again.

"Megan, really, I am."

Her eyes met mine, a nasty look on her face. "Is that...? Have you been smoking?"

Caught. I shrugged. "I had one on the way home."

"You smoke cigarettes?"

"Occasionally."

"Disgusting," she stated.

Jeez.

"Well okay then. Can I go shower now that you're done bitching me out?"

"Please, you smell like a hooker."

"You're grumpy in the morning," I claimed.

"It's almost noon, and yeah I am grumpy when irresponsible nineteen-year-olds lie to me."

I rolled my eyes and disappeared into the bathroom. Sometimes, Megan could be a royal pain in my ass, but I found myself grateful for it in the end.

* * *

Beer bottles. A sea of glass covered the floor as I trudged to the front door. The doorbell was screaming through my ears while someone continued to press it over and over again.

"I'm coming!" I yelled.

They were persistent, and the bottles made it hard to walk. I passed my dad in the living room. He was passed out. Another empty bottle in his hand.

I answered the door but no one was there. Who was ringing the doorbell then? I turned around and saw my mom in the doorframe to the kitchen. She was just staring at me. She looked sad. Why did she look so sad?

I turned back around to the door and there was a man. A faceless man at that.

His voice echoed in my head. "Let's go, kid."

I tried to close the door. He stopped it, grabbing my arm in the process. Where was he taking me?!

I looked back. "Mom!"

She was silent. The sad expression never falling from her face.

"Mom please!"

"You're coming with me," the man demanded.

"No!" I fought. "I'm their daughter!"

"No you're not. You're filth. They don't want you anymore!"

I yanked away but there were a million hands grabbing me now. I fell to the floor with fight. Beer bottles flew and surrounded me like an ocean.

I screamed. "Mom! Please tell them to stop!"

My chest was tight. I couldn't breathe. Oh no they couldn't take me. I couldn't let them. Mom and dad couldn't let them take me!

"Mom please!"

"She doesn't love you!"

Tears burned trails down my cheeks. "Mom tell them you love me!"

But she was quiet as I was pulled out of the house. Everything faded to black. The door slammed shut.

I gasped awake. My chest was still tight but Megan was next to me again. My lamp was on and lit up my view.

"Hey, it's okay," she coaxed. "Here."

I took the glass of water and sipped. Why was I so hot? And was that sweat on my face? I wiped it away and realized they were tears.

I couldn't look at Megan but she was looking at me. God that one was horrible... Why were they getting worse?

"I'm sorry," my voice trembled. "I probably woke you up."

"It's fine," she answered.

We sat in silence for a small moment and I was grateful. Maybe she was waiting for me to go back to sleep. Honestly, I didn't want to. I didn't want to have another one of those damn dreams. I couldn't have another one.

I set the glass of water down and lied on my back. Megan didn't move this time.

"Sam..."

My eyes focused on her. "Yeah?"

She paused to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "What happened?"

It was such a loaded question. Was she talking about what had happened in the dream? Or was she questioning me about my past? I wasn't sure which was worse. And I didn't want to talk about either.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

She stayed put. "I just... I think you need help."

Help? Help with what? Was she suggesting I see a shrink? Ha! Like they would do anything for me. All they would do was resurface everything I was trying so hard to suppress. No thank you.

"No I don't. I need to sleep."

"You can't sleep when you scream yourself awake most nights."

"They'll go away."

"Yeah, when you stop running from them."

"I'm fine Megan."

"Then tell me what happened."

But it was so hard to talk about it. It hurt. As in like physically hurt. It was like picking off a scab that was covering an unhealed wound. It made me want to scream.

"You honestly don't want to know," I answered.

"Yeah, I do. I really do."

Our eyes met. Nothing about this situation was uncomfortable except for the fact that Megan was trying to get me to talk about my dream in the middle of the night. And even when talking to Megan shouldn't feel natural at all, I hated to admit that it did.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I care. And I think it could help you to talk about it."

She cared? What exactly did she care about? My dreams?

"Most of my dreams are just me and mom. It usually ends with me falling or being pulled away from her. Whether it's into darkness or people dragging me away... I beg her not to let it happen but she does anyway. And then I'm awake."

"What happened this time?"

I took a shaky breath. Oh this hurt a lot. "A man was pulling me away from my house... Mom wouldn't stop him. She just kept staring at me with this horrible blank expression like..." I paused. "...Like she couldn't believe I was really her daughter."

How on earth was Megan getting this out of me? Usually this was something I didn't even tell Shawn or Blair unless they forced it out. Yet here I was admitting it to her without much protest.

"Seriously, I'm fine," I dismissed.

"Hold on," she ordered, disappearing through my door and up to her room. She returned with a small dream-catcher in her hand. "I used to keep this on my night stand to prevent my nightmares. Most of the time they stayed away but... occasionally I'd have one. When you have a bad dream take the dream-catcher outside to release it."

She hung it above my head, tying the little ropes around the metal frame of my bed. Within the moment I got a small whiff of her scent. Soap and the smell of fresh linen.

For some reason I smiled. "You're into things like that?"

She shrugged. "At the time it was all I had to hope for."

I could feel the conversation dying but I didn't want her to leave. If I had been brave enough I would've asked her to stay, but I wasn't stupid.

"What happened in your dreams?" I asked.

A sad smile hinted on her lips. "I don't think now's the time."

All I could do was agree. "Okay."

She stood. "Goodnight."

I was alone again with a wonder of what exactly had happened to Megan for her to understand me on this kind of level. She didn't get freaked out when I had my dreams. She didn't think it was weird or that I was mentally insane. Of course, she suggested help but I figured that was because she didn't know how else to approach it.

And I knew if I ever wanted to know what happened to her I would have to be prepared to face my past too. She would want to know and I wasn't ready for that.

At least not at the moment.