Twenty-Nine

"Sam get up."

I felt two hands shoving me awake. My body didn't want to respond but Blair wouldn't be trying to get me up if it weren't an emergency.

"Come on," she pleaded. "There's not a lot of time!"

My bloodshot eyes opened and met hers.

Last night I had told Blair everything, and had cried the entire time. She hadn't said much but had been there for me regardless. What I didn't know was why she was waking me up so abruptly.

"What?" I asked, my voice groggy from sleep.

"You need to get up," she demanded.

"Why?"

"Because..." She pulled me up. "Megan's flight leaves in two hours and you need to be there to stop her from getting on that plane."

She bustled around her room and gathered last night's outfit for me, shoving it into my chest.

"Do you remember who lives in California?" she asked.

I sighed while pulling on my clothes. "No?"

"Nikki, Sam. Nikki lives in California."

Suddenly everything clicked. Megan might've been going to visit her friend to stay on the beach for a few weeks, but it was very possible her and Nikki would meet up. Especially if Nikki found out Megan was in her state.

I pulled on my boots and ran to her bathroom to brush my teeth. My heart was racing because I knew Blair was right. I couldn't let Megan leave. And I sure as hell couldn't wait two entire weeks to possibly see her again.

Blair leaned in the doorway while I quickly freshened up. "Remember what you told me last night?"

Oh, I remembered. Clearly.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Was it true?"

I looked at myself in the mirror as I wiped my face. I didn't even have to think about the question to find an answer. It was more than true. It had always been that way. I had loved Megan for a long time, but never knew what love felt like. But now that I was without her I knew exactly what it was. Funny how things worked out that way.

"It's true," I answered. "It's been true for a while."

"Well I'm glad you've gotten your head out of your ass to finally realize it," she finished with a smirk.

I tilted my head and frowned. "Thanks, now move. I have a woman to catch."

Blair let me go without another word as I jumped into my car. I peeled out of her driveway and sped towards the airport. I didn't have long. I needed to catch her before she made it to security, because once she did she was as good as gone.

My engine hummed as I pressed the pedal harder. On a Sunday not many cops would be out and about, especially since it was still early. But in a moment like this the last thing I was worried about were cops.

It took me about twenty minutes to get to the airport. I darted through the parking lot and to the entrance where I was greeted with a lot more people and rolling luggage.

My panicked heart was in overdrive as I dodged around the crowd of people bustling through the lobby. I didn't even bother heading to the help desk and went straight to the check-in.

But I didn't see her there, and the anxiety of missing her was overwhelming.

Okay, think Sam. Megan had most likely gotten here two hours before her flight left. Check-in didn't look too busy. I was about forty minutes behind her...

Security. She was heading for security.

I turned and bolted around more people, trying my best not to knock anyone over but at this point there were no guarantees.

"God, please don't let me miss her," I mumbled to myself.

When I made it through the lobby and scanned the crowd I tried to coax myself not to freak out. If I lost focus I would surely miss her and I would lose my chance.

I grew closer to the line for security. It looked backed up. I sent a small thank you for the little mercy I had been granted.

And then I saw her.

Megan stood in line with her head down, peering into her booklet and examining her ticket. For just a second I forgot what I was here for and studied her from afar.

Then the line moved and I was pulled back into reality.

"Megan!" I shouted.

A few people glanced at me like I was nuts but I didn't care. Megan's head snapped up from her ticket but she didn't turn around. Did she recognize my voice?

I got closer. "Megan," I repeated.

This time she turned around. Tired eyes engulfed me and suddenly I was aflame. Even when the light in her eyes seemed gone she still had the same effect on me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm here to ask you not to go to California," I answered. My voice was shaky from the running I had done but I tried my best to keep my composure.

She looked down and shook her head. "Was I not clear last night?"

I couldn't blame her for attempting to shut me out. What I had done was wrong. And it didn't matter if we hadn't been technically official. She had trusted me. She had given me a piece of her and I hadn't taken care of it. That was on me. But I was here to try and make it better.

If only she would let me.

"You were clear. But I'm not letting you leave without a fight," I confessed.

Her face softened for only a second but hardened just as fast.

"Please get out of line," I begged.

"I'm not getting out of line, Sam."

"Please." I held back the tears. "Just give me five minutes, and if I can't change your mind then I'll let you go."

My voice cracked. The tears in my eyes threatened to fall. Then a miracle happened. She dropped her hands and stepped out of line.

"Five minutes" she repeated.

When she stood in front of me I couldn't help myself. My hands gently pulled her face into mine and our lips connected. It was like a fresh wave of oxygen entered my body. The aching was gone. But just like that it was gone when Megan pushed me off of her.

"That's not a reason for me to stay," she stated. "Sam, what you did... It hurt me. Do you get that? You hurt me. And I thought we were on the same page. But when I had to hear that you made out with Emma from the softball team and not from you... That was a slap in the face."

I hadn't planned for this. My mind went blank. I could tell her about Emma and my situation, but that would waste a lot of time. And telling her about Robert would just ruin everything.

All I wanted to do was show her how much I loved her, but I couldn't. I had to tell her. And that was something I had never done before.

I took a deep breath. "Megan, I'm a fuck up."

She just stared at me.

"I've been told that all of my life. That I would never be anything special to anyone. That I was a lost cause..." I gathered my thoughts. "And I proved them right so many times. I proved them right even with you, just like I said I would."

I continued. "But for the first time in my life someone saw potential in me. For the first time someone believed I wasn't a screw up... and I think she's the most amazing person on this planet."

I could see her stone walls cracking, so I kept talking.

"And for the first time in my life I've never been so afraid to lose someone." I paused. "Megan I can't lose you because I..."

My voice trailed off. I had never said this to anyone before. What if I sounded stupid? Or what if Megan rejected me and it tore me in half?

But when I looked back at Megan she was hanging onto every word I said. She was on the edge like I was, but for different reasons. And she knew me better than anyone. So she knew something like this never happened. She knew I chased no one. No one except her.

And for the first time in my life I just knew what being in love felt like.

"I'm in love with you," I said. "And I've been in love with you for a while... But I didn't know that until I lost you."

Everything around us seemed to stop. All the bustle and noise disappeared. All I could really hear was my heart beat as I tried to read Megan's expression. Was she still keeping me out? Is that why I couldn't? Did she believe me or was her heart too far for me to reach at this point?

"I love everything about you, and if I lose you I'll have nothing left to fight for," I whispered. "So please don't leave."

Her walls finally crumbled as a tear rolled down her cheek. I reached up and wiped it away out of instinct. Why was she crying? Was it because she was relieved or because she didn't feel the same anymore? I waited for her to say something. To say anything.

Megan looked back and down at her ticket. My heart stopped for a moment as I prayed she didn't go. I needed her to stay.

Then she ripped up her ticket and threw it in a nearby trash bin, inevitably deciding to stay with me.

She pulled me into her without a word as my arms tightened around her waist. I held her close, fearful that something would try to take her away from me again. I buried my head in her neck and took everything in. Her smell, her warmth... her love.

I felt renewed. Like this simple embrace had given me a second chance at life. And maybe that was a dramatic way to think about it, but that's what it felt like to me.

"I love you," she whispered.

A smile spread across my lips without my permission but I didn't care. I hugged her closer as I felt tears burn the inside of my eyes. I believed nothing sounded better than those words coming from Megan.

But I knew it wasn't over.

There were still things I had to tell her. There was still a lot of my past she didn't know about, and I prayed that when I did tell her she would understand.

"Can I take you somewhere?" I asked.

She furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "Like on a date... but to explain myself. I promise it'll be far from here."

Her face lit up but she tried to hide it. "I think that's a great idea."

We left the airport together and I sent a text to Shawn letting him know I wouldn't be home till later. Megan joined me in my car and looked over to me in curiosity.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"To my hometown," I answered. "Do you like breakfast dates?"

"I love breakfast dates."

I just smiled as I threw my car in drive and started back onto the highway, heading towards Chesterfield. There was no more fear breathing down my neck as Megan sat silently on my right, gazing out the window.

I slipped my hand into hers and she squeezed, letting me know she wasn't going anywhere. I had gotten a second chance and I wasn't going to ruin it this time.

I would make things right, and I vowed I would never hurt Megan again the way I did. As long as she wanted me I would want her, and I would show her that every day until then.

* * *

"So last night we got him arrested... and then I may have accidentally burned down his house."

Megan choked on her coffee. She coughed loudly as people looked over at us. I just smiled at them and acted as if nothing was wrong. Thank God we had sat in a secluded corner.

"You what?" she asked.

"I don't think it's a good idea to repeat it."

"Don't," she demanded. "I heard. I just... Sam, what the hell were you thinking?"

I shrugged. "I wasn't planning on a fire to happen. And when we couldn't put it out something just took over me."

She shook her head. "I honestly have no idea what to say."

"That's a first."

She gave me a light kick under the table.

"Ow," I teased. "Look, I didn't commit a bunch of felonies for you to kick me."

"So no one else knows?" she asked.

I shook my head. "We're safe."

Her hand reached over the table and grabbed mine. It felt so weird to be like this in public with Megan but I couldn't deny that it felt good. Like really good.

She stared at our hands. "This feels weird."

"Good weird?"

"Good weird," she confirmed.

I took a deep breath. "Do you think you'll ever be able to trust me again?"

She looked up at me. "I believe sometimes people don't deserve second chances. That it's just easier to end it and move on. But Sam it's not like that with you..."

I smiled.

She shifted in her seat. "I care about you too much not to give you one more chance."

"I promise I'll never hurt you again," I said.

She blushed. "What did it feel like? After the kiss with Emma?"

"I felt so dirty," I confessed. "I felt so empty and guilty and a bunch of things I hated. And I shouldn't have done it. I hated myself. I still kind of hate myself for doing it."

She just watched me.

I looked up from my coffee. "Can I come sit next to you?"

She just nodded and scooted over.

I took my place next to her and intertwined our hands, kissing her temple in the process.

"So, what's next?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," I answered with a smile.

"How does a one-bedroom apartment near the university of Mizzou sound?"

I was shocked. I hadn't expected her to be so willing to let me back into her life, much less ask me to move in with her come fall, but she was. She must've seen the look on my face because she felt the need to explain.

"Sam, I'm not gonna keep punishing you for what you did," she stated. "And you shouldn't either. It happened and I know you're sorry. I know it hurt you just as much as it hurt me. And if I'm being honest, I think you need to get away from Baldwin just as bad as I do."

It was one thing to be forgiven, but Megan was giving me chance after chance to reprove myself.

"You really want me to come with you?" I wondered.

"I do."

Her hand squeezed mine as I felt my insides get all warm and fuzzy. I liked that sensation a lot.

"Then I guess we're going to college."

She kissed me. "We're going to college."