Chapter 25: In Love

Chapter 25

Richard Neil Sky

In Love

We're at the dining area right now - Noah, Gloss, and I. Martha took a day off since I told her she needed a break from us. She was reluctant at first, said that she didn't need a break, but I told her her kids were waiting for her. That convinced her to take a break. Noah and Gloss are staring at me intently, with eyes that make me somehow nervous. Their stare is hard and blank. I gulp, knowing that I'm about to drop a bomb to their face. I had a thought after the night Cade and I spent on the hill, that I would tell my kids that I was in love again. That I'm already in love. I mean, they deserve to know everything and I'm not going to keep it just because I'm afraid they wouldn't accept it. My eyes focus on Noah. Between the two of them, I have a feeling that Noah would be the most affected. I mean, his father is in love with a man. And I know that he's going to ask a lot of questions and also Gloss, too. I'm sure that he would ask me if I really did love her mom and I would tell him the truth that I really did.

"What is it, dad?" Noah asks me as he holds Gloss' hand. Gloss gives me a small, shy smile and I sigh, feeling the stress fill in my chest,

"It has been, what? One and a half months or so ago after Genny died," both Gloss and Noah stiffen at the mere mention of Genny. Gloss flinches a little and his shy smile has been converted into a sad one, and I feel bad suddenly. "And Genny is happy where she is right now, and I know that she's also happy as she sees us moving on. I guess, I just..."

"Go on a date, Dad." Gloss suggests and I arch a brow at him, the edge of my lips curving a bit into a smile. Noah smiles at me, nodding a bit, agreeing with his boyfriend. "I mean, I know Mom has just been buried for a bout a month and a half, but I don't want you to lock yourself out and dwell in the past. I want you to continue on your life and crying your eyes out won't do you any good. Well, it did. We all felt satisfied and good after we cried but... right now, we don't have to cry anymore, you know, we just need to take a step forward. Noah and I know, and of course you, that Mom will always be in our hearts. If Mom's ghost were here, she'd tell us the same thing." Gloss chuckles and a tear slips his left eye. Noah brushes the tear away and kisses him on the lips and they both share a loving smile.

"Yes, Dad. Go on a date, live healthy. You're getting old," Noah says in a mock but playful tone. We all laugh and I shake my head. "Just make sure whoever the next partner you will ever with is as good as Genny."

"Actually, this is the reason why I wanted to talk with you guys," I say, wiping my clammy hands on my pants. I smile at them nervously and Noah and Gloss both share a look and then look at me with confused eyes. "Well, I did a lot of thinking these past few days. Everything is going good. You guys are going into college and will be hundred miles away from home. Let me tell you, College will be hard. I've been through it before. But you always have each other by each side. The point is, I'm going to be lonely when you guys leave. But I won't let it stay that way."

"What, you've already met somebody? That's cool!" Noah pipes in, grinning from ear to ear. I flinch at his tone of voice and roll my eyes. I shake my head and he scowls at me. Gloss arches a brow.

"No, my first love came back to my life." I say to them and Gloss looks like he's in a deep thought. Noah, well, he has a blank expression on his face until his face widens and suddenly grits his teeth. He looks angry, like he just wants to lash out. Gloss squeezes his boyfriend's hand.

"What? Don't tell me you're dating Mom again," he says through gritted teeth.

My eyes widen. "God no!" I reply to him while running a hand through my hair. "Your mom has already left us a long time ago, and I don't want her back in our life." Noah's face softens and sighs in relief.

"I thought Mom was your first love?" asks my son, Noah. He has this curious look plastered on his face.

"Well, I guess you could say that," I mumble, not looking at him in the eye. Noemi was the first girl I fell in love with and she just ran off with a different man. I hope she's happy where she is right now. I scratch my cheek and can feel myself blushing at the thought of saying to my kids that I'm in love again with my high school boyfriend, Cade Felix Thompson. "Back in High School, I met this person in a competition. I was assigned to keep peace while the competition was happening. But this person happened to have alcohol, which was prohibited. We got in a fight and that escalated. This person kept bullying me. Like everyday. Everyday, this person would just bump my shoulder or tease me or send me evil looks."

"Sounds like she's an asshole," Gloss chuckles.

"That's the thing," I say and both Gloss and Noah laugh.

"That's the thing, she really is an asshole and badass?"

"No, that person is a he."

Everything becomes silent and I don't bother to look them in their eyes. I look away, staring outside through the window of the dining area. I can feel my heart pounding out of nervousness and a lump forms at the back of my throat. My hands are starting to shake, sending signals throughout my body. Trembling a bit, I take a deep sigh and calm myself down.

There are so many thoughts running in my head. I'm afraid to look at them, afraid to see their horrible expression. I have this feeling that they should be the one understanding me, but I can feel the negative things running in their head. Now that I've come out to my sons, told them the truth, if they stop me from seeing Cade, I would never do that. Cade is basically my rock right now and what we have, it's... it's magical. It's perfect. And I don't want to lose him again.

"You... you've been in love with a man?" Noah asks, his voice trembling a bit. I look at him in the eyes and just like I expected, they have a shocked expression drawn on their face. I give them a nod as an answer. "What the hell..." he whispers.

"I'm not exactly gay, Noah." I say to them, putting a smile. "I really did love your mother, and Genny and they will always be in my heart, you know. But this guy... he was the reason why my heart got broken in the first place. We weren't out back then, when we were teenagers. It was hard for us. He left me. I became depressed. You know what's funny? I never stopped loving him. He never stopped loving me. Then he came back to my life after what, decades ago? We just met again a week or... four, three, five days ago? I don't know. When I saw him again, I... I had this feeling in my chest that I couldn't describe but I already knew one thing, it was the same feeling that I felt for him when we were teenagers, when we were dating. From the day, he was all I could think of, he... he was... he was my first love. And until now, I'm still in love with him."

Gloss breaks into a smile, stands up, and gives me a hug. "I know how you felt, Dad. I felt the same way as you when Noah and I were dealing with a love life crisis before." He chuckles at me and tightens his hug. Noah is just looking at me with a blank expression, until a smile plays on his lips. I offer my hand at him and he takes it, giving me a hug also.

Now that I've told them before, and they seem to accept it, Cade and I can be together now officially. Even before, I could see my life together with Cade and now, it's finally going to happen. A tear slips in my eye, and I hug both of my sons tighter and thank God. I'm so happy that God has given me these boys in my life and I couldn't ask for more.

"So... when will we meet this first love of yours, Dad?" Noah asks.

"Are you the top or the bottom?"

They both burst out laughing and I scowl at them, wacking the back of their heads and they laugh louder. Rolling my eyes, I walk away from them, but there's a smile tugging on my lips.

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Didn't I tell you guys that this story would only have 30-33 chapters? </3