17. Electric Blue

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

I pull up to school in my brand new car. My parents are worried about me so they decided it was time for a 'don't kill yourself' present. An electric blue range rover. I like it a lot. In fact, I like it so much that I named it: Blue Legend.

The same thing happened after my attempt and when I told them about cutting and stuff. Lots of presents. Obviously I'm not complaining... I just wish I could talk to them. I mean.. I can talk to my dad but he always takes everything I say out of context and I hate seeing him hurt. Mom just tells me to shush and pretend everything's fine.

I step out of my car, the guys and Melissa's squad rush to my sides, smothering me.

"Dude, sweet ride!"

"What happened to your other car?" A girl asks.

"I crashed it." I say matter-of-factly.

Everyone begins to talk full of excitement. They're all bombing me with questions or squealing about how cool I am. It's funny how everyone's definition of cool is different.

I look around and I spot Luke leaning against the wall of the school. He looks really sour and he's all alone. I've never seen him alone. Melissa rushes to my side.

"Hey, babe." She smiles as she grabs my arm.

I frown and pull away.

"Why are you calling me babe?"

"Because we're a thing, silly." She plasters on a smile.

Since when?!

"Chasey,"

Chasey?

"I was thinking we should go out tonight. Like a fancy restaurant to make it official?"

"What happened to Luke?" I ask just as we walk by him. He seems angry enough to shoot me. I shiver.

"Who? Oh, he's cute and all but.. you're much cooler." She smirks.

I frown, completely confused.

She sighs and takes me apart. "Let me break it down for you. You dethroned the king of the school so... you're the new king of the school. Simple as that. And I'm your queen." She smiles happily.

I stare at her in disbelief. This is like a bad high school movie. I can't believe she just said that out loud. And I can't believe I'm supposed to find all this normal.

I shake my head and walk to math class alone.

I give up. I'll never understand high school. I'll never understand people and honestly, I don't want to.

It's Friday. Meaning... I'm going on my trip with Sky today. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.

My parents decided that experiencing a car crash was enough punishment so I get to go on the trip! I feel like it'll be really good for me. Maybe I'll finally get my shit together.

Wayne and I sit together in the classroom. We sit all the way at the back so the teacher won't notice we're not paying attention. Or.. that he's not paying attention. I'm trying to. Really hard but as she talks my mind just goes back to that dark place it always seems to go these days.

I stare out the window and watch the wind blow through the grass. I think about Kev and I wonder what he's doing right now. He completely disappeared from my life. I must have meant nothing to him. All those conversations we had were all just for one thing. One moment. He just used me. He pretended to care about me and then he was gone. I was so wrong about him.

"Uh, hello?" I feel a pen poke my arm.

I look beside me.

Wayne is suddenly on the other side of the room and the guy sitting next to me is none other than Antonio "Anthony" Desusa. He is absolutely the most obnoxious, annoying person in our grade. He's constantly correcting teachers, his clothes are so bright it blinds everyone and he walks like he's on a runway. I'm not easily annoyed but he really is something else. Just being near him ticks me off.

His eyes are dark brown and his hair is pitch black, trimmed perfectly and slicked back. His short nails are polished pink and blue and he's wearing an outfit in the same color scheme.

Like I said. Obnoxious.

"What are you—"

"We're supposed to be partners for this assignment. If you hadn't wasted all your time staring out the window you would've known that." His icy glare makes my skin crawl.

I don't know what to say to that and I really don't feel like yelling.

"Okay, since you seem to be a little slow today, I'll just do the first half of the equations and you do the other."

"Sure. Whatever." I frown. I have no idea why he's being so mean to me. We never talk.

I look down at the exercises and none of them make sense to me.

"Wow." He remarks staring at my blank sheet of paper.

"Why don't you just mind your own business?" I snap.

"Well, I don't want to get in trouble because you're stupid. No offense."

I roll my eyes. This guy gets the blood from under my nails.

"Yo, Chase! Are you gonna let that fag talk to you that way?" Alex yells from across the room. Everyone starts to laugh.

Anthony doesn't even respond. He just keeps writing like he didn't hear a thing.

I decide to do the same. I try to figure out the math problems. It seems to be going well, finally. I don't drown in thoughts and I'm completely focused on the equations.

"That's the wrong answer." Anthony points at my sheet. He sounds bored.

I sigh in defeat.

He takes the pen from my hand and crosses out the last part of my answer.

"Look, your thought pattern is right but it's the order that's wrong. You're supposed to do this part first," He circles a portion of the equation. "And then this, and then this. If you do that, I'm sure you'll get it."

I try it his way.

"Like this?"

"Perfect." He answers.

Somehow, magically it all makes sense to me. Math never makes sense to me.

"Thanks." I smile faintly.

He smiles back at me.

"Anthony and Chase sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Alex screams. Some people in class start to laugh.

"Shut up, Alex!" I scream.

"Why? Am interrupting your moment?" He laughs.

"Just ignore them." Anthony says. "I do."

"Easy for you to say. It's your own fault."

"It's my fault that I get bullied every day?" He says incredulously.

"Well, nobody is forcing you to wear the glitter and the nail polish and all that other gay stuff! Of course people are gonna laugh at you!"

Everyone reacts. Some cheer, some laugh.

"Chasey! That's what I'm talking about!" Alex hollers.

"Screw this." I pack up my bag and go.

"Chase Chambers, where are you going?!" The teacher screams.

I ignore her and walk to the door. As I do, I shove past Alex. Hard.

× × ×

"Sky!" I knock on the door of his apartment like a maniac.

Instead of Sky, Aron opens the door. He totally looks like a charming scholar. Black turtleneck, reading glasses and a pen behind his ear.

I've never seen him look bad. Ever.

"Is Sky here?" I ask desperately.

"No, he went to the grocery store, why?"

Aron steps aside for me and I come in.

"I walked out of class today and if my parents find out they won't let me go on the trip so I rushed home, grabbed some stuff and we need to go now!" I pant.

"Wait, you skipped class?"

"Long story! Can you please just tell Sky to come right now?"

"I'm on it." Aron grabs his phone.

I pace around the room nervously imagining my mom bursting through the door any minute now. I look at the clock. She should be home by now. She'll get a call from my principal and she'll ground me!

Aron comes back to me.

"He's coming as fast as he can— Chase, calm down." He grabs my shoulders.

"Seriously, breathe." He looks deep into my eyes.

I take a few breaths and try to slow down.

It's hard not to when Aron gives you that look. Concerned, warm, caring.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Your mom will be mad—"

"Well, she'll be mad anyway. I just need to get out of here."

Aron looks deep into my eyes. "Are you okay, Chase?"

It's getting harder and harder to lie to everyone. Why do people keep saying time heals? It only makes things heavier and more difficult.

"Yes. Fine." I take another deep breath. "Just excited to go."

I could use a drink. Would it be weird if I asked for one?

The front door opens and Sky comes in with two huge shopping bags.

"What's going on?" He pants.

Aron takes the bags from him.

"We need to leave now. I'll explain later."

Sky gives Aron a worried look.

"I'm fine! Please just—"

"Alright, I'll grab my bag." Sky rushes over to the bedroom.

Aron makes us some food for on the way and packs it in Sky's bag.

"Alright, let's go." Sky says a while later as he carries a small travel bag into the room.

Aron walks over to Sky and grabs his face. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." They lean in and kiss like they're in a romantic movie.

"We need to go!" I say mostly because watching them kiss makes me want to claw my eyes out.

Dammit. I thought I was over that.

They say their goodbyes and soon enough we've left the apartment.

I'm driving to the airport with Sky in the seat beside me.