30. Deja Vu

Sky.

✙ ☠ ✙

I know exactly where the abandoned warehouse is since it's been a tradition to throw huge parties there since I was in high school.

Aron's at home watching Rosalie. He wanted to come too but there really was no way.

I'm driving way too fast but I'm worried out of my mind. I haven't heard from Chase in two days. And suddenly he calls me, sounding terrified and messed up.

I pull up to the parking lot and run inside the building.

"Chase?" My voice echoes through the empty hallway.

No response. I take a left into a big hall. Empty cups and confetti cover the floor.

I spot Chase, laying motionless in the middle of the room.

"Chase!" I run up to him as fast as I can.

"What the hell happened?" My voice is shaking and so are my fingers.

He doesn't reply. I listen for a heartbeat because he looks so pale like he could be dead. I'm relieved when I find his heart is still beating.

I grab my phone to call an ambulance but just that moment one shows up on the parking lot. I bang on the windows hoping they'll find us sooner.

I lock eyes with the paramedics. A woman and a man rush inside with a stretcher in hand.

I go into the hallway and lead them to Chase.

They lift him up onto a stretcher.

"Do you know what he took and when?" The woman asks.

"I don't know. I just got here."

She gives a curt nod and they roll Chase into the hallway.

I follow them out of the building. They put Chase in the back of the ambulance and tell me to sit in front. I do as they say despite wanting to be with Chase. I decide to call Steven, Diana and Loren and tell them to come to the hospital. They're all worried sick and making their way over. Loren's taking the first plane to LA.

I tell the paramedics everything I know: Chase's name, birth date.. anything.

All the while I'm hearing them talk about Chase in terms I don't understand. I'm worried that he'll die. I put my head in my hands and wish for the best.

There's nothing I can do but wait.

We reach the hospital and they rush inside with Chase. They tell me to wait in the hallway as they take him to the emergency room.

I can't believe this is happening again.

I make an effort to breathe normally. Try to tell myself everything will be okay. But somehow I don't think it will.

"Where is Chase? What happened?!" Diana runs up to me looking absolutely terrified. Steven follows after her.

"I think he was at a party.. He called me sounding really scared. He was unconscious when I got there. He's in the emergency room now."

Diana covers her eyes.

Steven doesn't say anything. He just holds her in his arms to comfort her. But I can see in his face that he's just as scared as she is.

Minutes pass before the doctor comes out of the room.

We all watch him with anticipation.

"We've successfully pumped Chase's stomach. It seems it wasn't just alcohol he ingested but it was also an assortment of drugs. Of course mixing drugs and alcohol is a very dangerous thing to do,"

"Oh God." Diana covers her mouth.

"We've given Chase an IV to prevent dehydration, a breathing tube to prevent choking as well as a catheter to keep him from having to go to the bathroom. This was a close call. Chase had a BAC of over 0,30 which is incredibly dangerous."

The doctor turns to me. "If you hadn't called the ambulance, he would have died. Well done. You may see him now."

Diana and Steven rush inside. I'm just confused. I didn't call the ambulance. ..So who did?

"There's one more thing I have to tell you. We've found fresh cuts on Chase's arms that insinuate self-mutilation. Therefore this might be considered a suicide attempt."

Chase.

✙ ☠ ✙

I'm in bed in the hospital. I remember what happened with the drugs and the drinks at the party.. I see everyone's angry faces in my head again. I must have been hallucinating or something. I thought I was going to die.. I really could have.

I'm surprised by how relieved I am I didn't.

I feel absolutely terrible. I'm nauseous and my throat hurts from the tube they used to pump my stomach. My body feels weak and tired.

My parents have been in the room staring at me for a while now. They wanted to talk to me alone so they asked Sky to wait outside. Even though he's the only person I wanna see right now.

"Why, Chase? I thought you were doing better." My mother speaks quietly. She looks worried out of her mind.

"I was." My mind goes back to Kev. And all those other guys that followed.

"Your father told me you've been drinking, doing drugs.. And now you—" She starts to cry.

"Mom," I reach out to her feeling guiltier than ever.

"You said you would never do this again." My mom says.

I frown. "Do what again?"

"Try to.. To..."

Dad holds her shoulder.

"That's not what this is! This was an accident! I didn't mean to—"

"Don't lie to me! Look at your arms! You said you would never do it again!" My mom starts screaming.

"And here we are, back in this fucking hospital! Worried sick about you!" Tears stream down her face. "When are you going to get it? We love you. We need you here." She cries.

She walks out of the room.

"Dad, you have to believe me. I didn't.. This is not.."

"You've only been lying, Chase. I don't know what to believe anymore." He looks desperate and broken down.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"I'm going after your mother." He tries to smile for me but his eyes are filled with sadness.

He walks out of the room.

A while later Sky comes in. He looks so unsure and scared. He never looks scared. Sky isn't afraid of anything.

He lingers by the door eyeing me and the monitor beside me.

"You can come in, you know?"

"Right." Sky walks into the room and sits down next to me. He's not looking at me. He's just fumbling with his hands which are shaking. I grab them.

His eyes meet mine. He looks so small and scared. It's almost like a child how he's looking at me. It's so different from how he usually is.

He looks down at his hand in mine. A tear drop lands on my hand.

"I thought you were going to die." Sky's voice is soft.

I wipe away his tears. "Don't cry.." I plead. I hate seeing him cry.

"I'm sorry.." I stroke his hair. It gives me deja vu.

It's not long before he's actually bawling his eyes out. He was so worried I was going to die. And I know it's stupid, but it surprises me how even the thought of losing me affects him this much. I never knew he felt that way about me. It occurs to me then that the connection we have really does go beyond friendship. Maybe brotherhood is the right term after all.

"Come here," I pull him into the bed and I hold him as he cries into my arms.

"I promise this will never happen again." I caress his back.

It's strange. Usually it's him comforting me and now suddenly it's the other way around.

A while later he's stopped crying. We're just laying there holding onto each other. Cherishing each other somehow.

"You know I didn't do it on purpose, right? I wasn't trying to.."

"I know. You wouldn't have called me if you were."

I smile at him. "I wish my parents would believe that."

"Give them some time. They'll come around."

I nod.

He pulls away.

"Chase, you know you have to tell them right? Or at least Steve." His clear blue eyes look deep into my soul.

"I know. It's just hard." I look into the distance. "Everyone will get mad and they'll worry."

"They won't get mad and they're already worried. If anything they'll just be relieved to know why you've been acting the way you have. You have to trust them."

I sigh. "Hey, mom and dad. I met a guy off the internet even though I knew it was dangerous and guess what? I also went to his house!"

"We could tell them together." Sky suggests.

That's actually not a bad idea.

Dad walks into the room. "Oh." He says when he sees us in bed together.

"We were just talking." I clarify.

Dad nods. "Your mother went home. She said she needed to rest. The doctor said they wanted to monitor you for a few days before you can come home. Sky, maybe you should eat and sleep, you look tired."

"I'm okay." He says.

He doesn't want to leave. It fills my heart with warmth.

"I know you're worried but you can't stay the night."

"Well, someone has to stay with him."

"Which will be me."

They share a long glance.

"Right." Sky says after a while. He gets up from the bed.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright." I answer.

Sky makes his way out of the hospital room.

Dad closes the door and follows him into the hallway.

I can see them talk through the window. I wonder what they're saying...