Grumpy Romance: Chapter 15

KENYA

I follow him because I’m an idiot. Obviously. And because alcohol is an inhibition killer. Which means I’m moving on pure instinct right now.

That’s dangerous.

My impulses have been swerving more and more towards a carnal desire for my boss. Bad enough when he’s barking at me. Even more annoying when he’s dark and brooding and wearing his grief on his sleeve.

He’s obviously torn up about something and, as someone going through my own emotional rollercoaster, I can see it a mile away. The agitation. The pain flickering close to the surface. The blistering need to drown it with something. Anything.

Am I offering myself as a sacrifice?

I don’t know.

I only know what this can’t be. A relationship.

He’s my boss and he has a kid and a dead wife he still obviously loves. And I have… student loans and a sister who wants to marry my boyfriend.

Oh, right. Ex boyfriend.

And ex… sister? Is that a thing?

I lift my face to the sky and watch the stars parading overhead. The world normally feels so big when I look up but, right now, it feels like I’m shrinking. Like I’ll disappear if it doesn’t stop.

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to stay grounded. Alistair misinterprets the move and shrugs out of his jacket.

“I’m fine,” I bite out.

He pins it roughly on my shoulders, totally ignoring me. As usual.

The jerk.

I shove the jacket off me. He stops and pulls it back on. This time, he takes my arms and slides them into the sleeves. His face is set like stone, but his touch is… gentle. Just as gentle as it was when he hugged me outside Sunny’s apartment that night.

What is going on right now?

He’s not a man that looks like he knows the meaning of ‘gentle’. Until that night, I didn’t think he had a pulse. If anyone told me Alistair was a blood-sucking vampire, I would totally believe it.

“There,” he says quietly. “Take it off again and I won’t be so nice next time.”

That’s the Alistair I know. Bossy, rude, arrogant.

When he’s tender, when he’s something close to a decent human being, it’s too crazy. It makes it hard to breathe.

I glare up at him. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. I’m just walking.”

“You? The Must Have a Back-Up Plan guy is on the move without a goal?”

He scowls.

I scowl back. “Why did you thank me in front of everyone?”

“I scolded you in front of everyone.” He makes a sharp gesture with his hand. “It’s fair to reward you publicly too.”

“People will talk.”

“About what? Nothing I said tonight was a lie.” His eyes burn into me.

There’s something wild in them. Something unpredictable. It scares me. Not because I’m afraid he’ll hurt me. I’m afraid he’ll find that wild, unpredictable side of me too and yank it out.

I can’t afford for that to happen.

Lifting my chin, I stop near a bench under a lamppost. “You know how suspicious everyone is about my position at Belle’s Beauty. And you also know how much I wanted acknowledgement. So you gave me what I wanted in a way that’ll be sure to hurt me.”

“I didn’t know you subscribed to conspiracy theories, Miss Jones.”

I step closer to him. “You’re diabolical enough to think of something that malicious.”

“I see.” A shuttered look crosses his handsome face.

My breath hitches.

“If I’m such an evil person,” he takes a step toward me, “then why,” another step, “did you follow me all the way here?”

I scramble back, but my thighs hit the bench. Gravity decides it hates me and shoves me into the chair. Instead of helping me, Alistair bends over the bench and cages me in with both hands.

“You poke at a bear and then you yell when you get clawed. Tell me, Miss Jones,” his eyes caress my body, “how is that fair?”

An ache starts in my stomach and travels straight between my thighs. I swear, it’s like I have a second pulse.

“You dared me to follow you,” I whisper, my voice heated. “And you know I like a challenge.”

“Will you do anything I dare you to?” His breath is hot against my face. His fingers dig into the back of the bench, not touching me and yet touching me everywhere.

I’m a puddle of aching confusion and clashing emotions. We’re not equals. He’s not even trying to pretend that he regards me as one. I’m just the most convenient person to toy with because I was foolish enough to fall for his crap.

Annoyed with myself, I put away the goo-goo eyes and push him back. He eases up with a proud smirk as if he made some kind of point. What that point is? I have no idea because I’m already in motion.

Grabbing his tie, I pull him down. The move wouldn’t normally work because he’s twice my size and pure muscle, but I catch him off-guard.

Alistair plummets into the bench, his palms going flat. The wooden chair trembles, but it doesn’t turn over. It’s bolted properly into the ground.

His eyes widen in shock. Good. I’m not his bumbling second assistant. We’re not at the office. And whatever this is, it needs to be on my terms too.

I slam my hands on either side of the bench, my words low and clipped. Because of the height difference, his head is in line with mine. I probably don’t look as intimidating to him as he did to me.

Whatever. It gets the point across.

“Don’t mess with me, Alistair.” My voice is a threat. “If we’re going to cross a line, we do it together. You don’t drag me. You don’t trick me. You don’t boss me around.” I let the tie drop and smooth it down his chest. “If it’s truth or dare, you play too.”

His eyes light up with a primal glint. What was meant to bring us on equal footing has only pulled me deeper into his clutches.

A shudder runs down my spine when his lips curl up. His fingers tease a line down my shoulder blade to my elbow. “You don’t know how dangerous this is, do you?”

The vodka shots I took must be curdling my better judgement because I really want to see how dangerous this can get.

His eyes flit to my mouth.

I can hear my breath thickening.

It’s painful to keep my distance, but I resist the urge to plant my lips on his and get him back for all the ways he made my life a living hell.

It’s a nice impulse, but it won’t feel like a punishment. At least, not for him.

“Did you mean it?” I whisper.

His hands slide around my waist. They’re big. Warm. Teasing. “Mean what?”

My knees buckle. I lean a little more against the bench. Which causes me to lean more into him. My chest is practically dangling in his face but, to his credit, he’s keeping his focus on my eyes.

“What you said tonight.” I frown. My second pulse is turning into a roaring, throbbing inferno. Why are there words? It’s screaming. Why are there still clothes on?

I dig my fingers into the wooden bench.

Alistair stares hard at me. I can see his sincerity when he says, “You saved the Baby Box deal. That’s the truth. And… I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Even if you were out of line.”

He’s doing that uber masculine thing where he’s apologizing without really saying the word ‘sorry’.

I press him. “Is that a real, live apology, Mr. Alistair?”

“I’m only half the bastard you think I am, Miss Jones.”

“That’s still too much bastard for me.”

His thumb traces a circle on my hip. “You have no idea how much trouble that mouth will get you into.”

“I guess you’re going to enlighten me?”

Our eyes hold and linger.

His is scorching. Second-degree burns.

Need claws its way up my chest. There’s too much fabric in the way. His coat. My dress. My underwear. Too many barriers from my skin to his.

He caresses my cheek. “Thank you.”

“Finally,” I breathe out, moving my hand from the bench to his shoulder. “Although, now that I’ve gotten to hear those words from you, I need to find something else to work towards—”

Before I can finish the sentence, his big hands tighten over my waist and tug me forward. It’s a quick, decisive move. One minute, I’m bent over him, the next I’m folding into his body.

My palms land flat on the back of the bench as my mouth collides with his. I stiffen in shock. My brain struggles to make sense of the kiss.

Then Alistair tilts his head, adjusting the angle.

Suddenly, I don’t care about making sense of anything.

Screw being rational.

Screw worrying about where this leaves us tomorrow.

I push into him, allowing my hands to skate over the back of his neck and into his soft hair. It feels like silk against my fingertips.

I’m not used to that.

Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has been black. Black hair is different. When I rake my fingers in, I meet coils like mine. Beautiful and coarse and rough. I’m used to the thickness and resistance.

Of all the things to trip me up, Alistair’s hair is the last thing I expected. It slips between my fingers. It’s long enough to clutch. To tug.

And I do, delighting when he groans in response.

Oh, you like that?

He rewards me by bending his head and deepening the kiss.

I’m not being savored.

I’m being devoured.

He tastes my mouth, exploring the inside of my lip and inhaling every airy breath that escapes from me.

It’s the hottest kiss I’ve ever had as the starry sky is my witness. And I wonder if I’m going to die right here.

Oh, but what a way to go.

I shift my weight over him. Right over the heat that’s straining against me.

It’s agonizing.

Perfect torture.

And I know I’m going to be addicted to kissing him if it keeps on feeling like this.

His arms are rock-hard. Chiseled muscles.

I can’t feel my legs.

A moan slides out of me, pressing hard against his body.

He grips the back of my neck tight and I sigh, forgetting everything but how amazing he feels. When he hears me, his kiss changes. The motions, the intensity. Like a switch, it moves from angry to gentle. Full of promises. All kinds of vows he can’t keep.

This man will destroy me and I’ll go quietly to my end, smiling at the privilege.

He leans back slowly. My eyes fall shut because I don’t want to see what’s left of the fire that burned us both. There’s rarely anything beautiful in the ashes. I don’t care how many fortune cookies claim otherwise.

Alistair leans his forehead against mine. The heat from the kiss lingers, cascading against the sliver of space left between us.

His thumb flicks across my bottom lip.

My mouth opens and my eyes meet his. An energy whips around us when our gazes connect. It’s all anticipation and yearning. A yearning so strong it takes my breath away.

This doesn’t feel like an alcohol-fueled make out session. It’s almost like… he’s been thinking about this—about me—for a very long time.

But that makes no sense.

The kiss must have melted my brain.

We hate each other… while wanting to tear each other’s clothes off.

But hate… is… it’s better if we keep that part simple.

I struggle to catch my breath, panting in short spurts while my body is still liquid heat.

Crap.

“I—”

“Don’t.” He stares at me and touches one of my curls reverently. “You can lie to everyone else, but not to me. And I don’t want to lie to you. Not anymore.”

My eyelashes flutter. I can’t say anything.

His fingers wrap around my hand. He lifts it to his mouth. “I don’t know what this is, but I know it isn’t a mistake. I’m not going to blame it on booze. I’m not going to throw our hormones under the bus. I’m not going to ask you to be friends with benefits or whatever crap the kids call it these days.”

“W-what?”

“You said we’d cross this line together. Fine. The line is behind us now. It’s too late to walk it back with stupid excuses neither of us will buy.”

I shake my head. “We can’t.”

“We can’t what.”

I glare at him. “You know what.”

“No, Kenya. Spell it out.”

His voice is hard again. Demanding.

“This,” I spit it out. “We can’t do this.”

“You weren’t complaining a second ago.”

“Hard to complain when your tongue is stuck down someone’s throat.”

He blinks. And then he laughs.

I scowl at him.

“You’re cute.”

“I’ll bite your face.”

“Please do.” He tilts his head to me. He’s a caveman in an Italian suit. All grunts and growls and firm hands.

“I’m not offering any more than…”

“Than?”

I glance away.

“Your intentions were to hook up with me and then bring me coffee tomorrow like nothing happened?”

“Tomorrow is Saturday.”

“Where else would I be but work?” His lips quirk up. “And nice attempt at changing the subject.”

“You’re not supposed to bring logic into this.” Annoyance inches across my back. The alcohol isn’t strong enough. Or maybe it’s that Alistair’s charisma is too intense. Not even liquor can win against him.

“Then how would you like this to go?”

“We never speak of it again. We keep on working together like nothing happened.”

He tilts his head, his hands never leaving my waist. “You kiss me like that and you want me to pretend it never happened?”

“I—”

“I have a daughter, Miss Jones.” His voice is hard, but his eyes are… they’re begging me to find the answers hidden within them. “I have two businesses to run. I have… I need to make up for some things in my past. To make matters worse, you are my employee. The ramifications extend far beyond sleeping with you for one night. Or even two. Unlike you,” his hands slide down my waist and there’s a hint of affection, “I don’t act on pure impulse.”

I’m confused. It sounds like he’s… like this isn’t just…

Heat sears my throat. “What are you saying?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

My heart goes still.

No way.

Mr. Evil Incarnate—my gorgeous, torture specialist of a boss—is not confessing to me.

“I know clearly all the reasons I shouldn’t say these words. And I also understand what will happen if this relationship goes downhill. I know it all and I still can’t get you out of my head.”

My gut clenches and my heart jumps straight to my throat.

His lips arch up in a wicked grin. “No witty comebacks, Miss Jones? Now would be the perfect time to slip one in.”

The taunting is just what I need to slap some sense into my head.

I push off his shoulders, trying to get back on my feet because I’m still draped on top of him. And that’s not exactly the best place to be. Not with him confessing his feelings and blowing my mind.

But Alistair drags me down into his lap and wraps his arms around me. I’m trapped.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t ignore my question. It’s rude.”

“You’re the rude one.” I try to pry his fingers off.

He holds firm. “I warned you that following me might end in something you regret.” He sighs into my neck, still using that annoying teacher voice. “But you just had to be difficult, as usual. If you weren’t so headstrong, Kenya, neither of us would be in this position.”

“So you’re blaming me because you feel some type of way?”

“Some type of way. I like that. But I’m afraid we’ve gone beyond mere feelings. I have different intentions, Miss Jones.”

“You’re talking nonsense.”

“What part of this is nonsense? Come on now. I know you can come up with something better than that.”

“You’re despicable.”

“Keep talking dirty to me. See if I don’t take you right here on this bench.”

My jaw drops.

He nuzzles his nose against my cheek. “Hate me. Go ahead. Loathe me if you have to. But I’m not letting you go until I’m ready.” His hazel eyes go electric. “Just in case you missed it, I mean more than just letting you out of my arms.”

None of this is making sense. I knew there was sexual tension. Sure. I was willing to explore that. I thought he’d drag me to a hotel room. Let us duke it out. Crash a few lamps. Tear a few curtains off their hinges. I’d rake my nails down his back the way I always imagined raking out his eyes.

And then we’d clean up and leave it behind with the kinks out of our system. I’d return to my dartboard with the Holland Alistair picture. He’d return to barking orders at me like the grump that he is.

This is not… that.

He twines his fingers in mine. “Now that I’ve jumped off that cliff, should we go tear up a hotel room now?”

I shove him. “You’re not funny.”

“It was my first attempt at a joke in four years. Have some mercy on me.”

The specific year count reminds me of his wife. My expression shifts.

His sobers too.

I clear my throat.

He squeezes my leg. “You can ask me.”

“I have no questions.” If I start prying beneath King Grump’s hard shell, I might start unearthing real, non-jump-his-bones related feelings. And wouldn’t that be a disaster for everybody?

Alistair sighs and opens his mouth but, at that moment, a car turns down the lane. The headlights are bright. Heavy. Spotlights on top of me. I feel exposed here, sitting on my boss’s lap in the middle of the night

The restaurant isn’t that far away. Any of my coworkers can see me. I don’t want to imagine the stink Heather will raise if she catches me straddling Holland Alistair with my chest in his face.

Planting my hands on his shoulders, I scramble off him and land two feet away. Alistair gives me a strange look, but his attention is captured by the fancy car that slows to a stop near us.

I blink rapidly when I see Ezekiel climbing out of the vehicle and trotting over.

“There you are,” he says with a worried frown.

“What are you doing here?” Alistair scowls. “Is that Bernard?”

“I called him.”

“Why? I gave him the night off.”

“You drank alcohol when you haven’t touched the stuff in years. Then you stormed away looking like you were going to fall apart and…” His eyes catch on me and he clamps his mouth shut. “Miss Jones.”

“Ezekiel.” I dip my chin and hope like crazy he can’t tell where my lips have been.

Alistair rises arrogantly, completely unashamed. He draws his thumb across his bottom lip, pulling my attention there. My eyes bug when I see the red sheen over his mouth.

That’s my lipstick.

I cringe.

And my foundation.

Another thing I didn’t realize about making out with a man the color of a napkin. Makeup transfers. And since mine is a dark burgundy brown, Alistair’s face is the perfect white canvas.

Ezekiel, to his credit, makes note of all the evidence and coaxes his face into an expressionless mask. “Since I’ve verified that you’re okay, I’ll send Bernard back.”

“No need.” Alistair takes my hand in his.

My eyes bug. I try to squeeze my fingers out.

He holds steady. “We’ll drop Miss Jones home first.”

He’s insane. He’s arrogance personified and now he’s pointing all that explosive billionaire ego at me.

It’s not like I’m against having Holland Alistair on the side.

I want to kiss him again.

I want to tear his clothes off.

I want to hear him groan when we collide. I want that heat to consume me.

But I don’t want to get lost in this man. Besides, people will misunderstand. I can’t have anyone questioning how I got my position. Respect is something I worked my butt off to earn. One little rumor will destroy everything.

“I can get my own ride,” I hiss.

He gives me a dark look. “It’s late. And this ride is free.”

“Nothing in life is free.”

He smirks. “You’re right. I have some ideas about how I’ll collect from you.”

My eyes widen.

He smirks, clearly enjoying my horror.

This isn’t funny. I accelerated to my position because Alistair plucked me out of my entry-level job and thrust me into the big leagues. Despite the challenges, I proved that I’m capable.

Me.

I did that on my own.

But he can tear it all away from me.

Not that Holland Alistair cares.

He tugs me to the vehicle and opens the door. “Get in.”

“You’re a real prick. Have I mentioned that?”

“You have.” He leans into my space, his eyes narrowing. “And I’ll allow it because it’s really freaking hot when you snap at me.” He frowns. “But don’t do it too often in the office or I can’t promise I’ll be able to control myself.”

I grit my teeth.

Ezekiel clears his throat and shuffles awkwardly. “Alistair?”

“Save your concern, Ezekiel.” He gestures to me. “Miss Jones hasn’t agreed to anything yet, but I’m working on it. When I succeed, I’ll inform you.”

His cheeks get red.

Mine turn purple.

I hope a hole opens up in the ground and swallows him whole.

“We won’t be able to hide anything from Ezekiel anyway,” Alistair explains. “This information won’t leave this circle.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Okay. But let me take you home first.” Alistair ushers me into the vehicle while I’m still beaming laser eyes at him. He climbs in after me.

Ezekiel falls into the front seat. He and Bernard exchange looks before Bernard starts driving.

My phone buzzes a second later.

Ezekiel: I left you alone with him for five minutes.

I hurl angry eyes at the executive assistant. Is he blaming me for this too? Tonight would have been a tidy little one-night stand if not for Alistair. But now it’s complicated because my gorgeous boss is a jerk who takes what he wants without apology.

Kenya: It’s not what it looks like.

Alistair closes his eyes and murmurs, “If you’re going to text about me, you might as well talk out loud.”

Ezekiel clears his throat.

Bernard tightens his fingers on the steering wheel.

Awkward silence falls on the car.

Alistair speaks in a low tone. “I don’t owe either of you an explanation as this is between myself and Miss Jones.” He scowls at Ezekiel. “But since I’d like to spare her the interrogation, the truth is that I want her and she’s trying her best to resist me.”

My jaw drops.

“That is the most you’ll get.” He narrows his eyes at Ezekiel. “Kindly refrain from commenting until Miss Jones is gone.”

I stare at Alistair, trying to understand how his brain works. The passing lights dance over his sharp jaw and rugged profile. He looks like a mythical prince come to life. I want to slap the handsome right off his face.

Unfortunately, there are too many of his people in the car. Ezekiel is going to side with him, even if he doesn’t agree. And Bernard basically pledged his life in servitude because of what Alistair did for his wife.

If I swing on him, they’re going to haul me back.

Controlling my temper takes effort. I manage to keep my mouth shut until the car slows in front of Sunny’s apartment.

Unfortunately, a clean getaway is not in the cards. Alistair hops out of the car and joins me on the sidewalk. He easily catches up with me and shoots his arm out to bar my escape.

I crane my neck to look at him. He’s not smiling. Not really. But his eyes still hold that glow of affection. I have no idea where it’s coming from or when it even got there.

“We’re meeting with Baby Box tomorrow to finalize the products for the subscription box. I need you to be there bright and early.”

“It’s the weekend.”

“Have I ever given you the weekend off, Miss Jones?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re not human, are you?”

“How about I take you somewhere private and you can find out?” he whispers, leaning close to my face.

I grit my teeth.

His lips curl up slightly. He goaded me and I fell for it, but he’s just so… insufferable.

“Goodnight, Kenya.” He drops his hands on my shoulders and pulls me in for a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“No thanks.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Seeing your face early in the morning sounds like torture.”

“And yet, you were willing to risk it all for a taste of me tonight. Were you planning on having your way with me and then disappearing before I woke up?” He shakes his head. “I’m disappointed. You should at least buy me breakfast.”

I roll my eyes. Hard.

He’s still the same jerkface Alistair. Except… he’s… flirting with me.

“Goodnight,” Alistair calls.

I turn back and notice him smirking.

Oh, I’m going to punch his face. At least once.

When I get inside, Sunny is at the door waiting for me. She grabs my shoulders and hauls me into the living room.

“I need an update and I need it now.” Her dark eyes glisten like ancient jewels. “I saw everything through the peephole. Why was your boss staring at you like that? And why did he kiss your forehead?” She gives me a once-over and then gasps. “Wait, is that why you borrowed my dress tonight? Because you were going to see him?”

“No.” I push out my lips.

“Oh yes you did!” Sunny flings herself into the chair and laughs with her whole body. Smacking her hands together and stomping her foot, she howls. “You went and fell for your evil boss!”

“I didn’t,” I hiss.

“Then why did he drop you home like he’s your date to junior prom?”

“Stop playing. He’s dropped me home before.”

“That still doesn’t explain the dress,” Sunny sings.

Okay, maybe I was hoping Alistair would see me in this outfit. Those office clothes, while chic, don’t really express my personal fashion style.

I wanted his attention.

I just didn’t actually expect to get it.

“How far did you two go?” Sunny peers at me.

“Not as far as I wanted.” I frown. “He told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me.”

“Whoa.” She jumps to her feet and starts pacing. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

“He must be messing with me, right? This is all part of his twisted plan to get me back for destroying his fern.”

“No, I think there’s more to it. If you look back, the signs were there all along.”

“What signs?” I squeak.

“He didn’t fire you after Baby Box.”

“Hey, I saved that Baby Box deal. It was going up in flames until I threw water on it.”

“You threw his kid under the bus!”

“Not intentionally.”

“And after that, what did he do? He protected you from that Baby Box creep.”

“Walsh.”

“Right, Walsh.” She nods. “He dropped you home after the promotion date mix-up, got you tea and even bought you a humidifier.”

“He said he got that for free,” I argue.

She slants me a get real look.

I huff.

“It’s all connected.” Her eyes are wide and all that’s missing is a tin hat made of foil.

I shake my head. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing. All we did was kiss and then he started talking nonsense—”

“You kissed him?”

I cringe.

She flies over to me. “And it was good?”

My eyelashes flutter.

Heat floods my chest.

Alistair kissed me like a hurricane.

He kissed me senseless.

Then he told me it was more.

More?

What more?

“Woman, you do not have to tell me a thing.” Sunny shakes her head. “Ugh, I’m so jealous. It’s been years since I’ve gone out on a date. I don’t even need a millionaire. Just a regular guy with a nice smile and an easygoing personality.”

“It’s not like that.”

“What’s it like then? You’re into him too, aren’t you?”

“I…” I lick my lips.

She studies me. “You want to kiss him, but you won’t accept that you have feelings for him?”

“It’s not that. I do have feelings for him.”

“Okay, then what’s the—”

“But I was with Drake for three years.” I cringe hard. “We moved in together. We talked about marriage all the time. I didn’t imagine a future without him by my side. And look what happened.”

“Your selfish sister stole him away.”

I curl a pillow into my chest. “What I feel for Alistair is… passionate. You know? It’s kind of hate and lust all mixed up. But that kind of fire burns hot and fast and then it putters out just as quickly.”

“You don’t know that,” she croons, rubbing my back.

“He’s rich.”

“So?”

“And he has a daughter to think of.”

Sunny pulls her lips in.

“If he comes after my heart, he’ll have it. That man gets everything he wants. Even if he has to tear down the world to make it happen.” Sunny keeps rubbing my back and nodding in understanding. “After this phase passes, it might be easy for him to walk away, but I’ve already been hurt once. I don’t want to get crushed again.”

“Oh, honey.”

“Last time, with Drake, I got blindsided. This time, if I walk willingly into the storm, I’ll deserve the pain.”

“Then tell him that. Find out if all he wants is a fling and end it quickly.”

I glance down.

“Unless you don’t want to.” She frowns. “Unless you secretly want him to break your heart if that’s what it’ll come to.”

I stay quiet.

“What exactly do you want, Kenya?”

I have no idea.

All I know is that Alistair should be off limits but, with every single breath I take, I can still taste his kiss.