Chapter 85

After training and lunch, the alliance met at Xandar’s villa. They gathered in the King’s huge study, and

the cousins got spare chairs and a foldable table out of the basement. They laid the report on the round

table, and Toby and Sylvia offered to take notes while they discussed, reading through the report again

together to see if their thoughts matched those of everyone around them.

Xandar noticed that Lucianne was checking the time every few minutes but he didn’t think much of it until

her phone chimed in between their discussions. Lucianne stood from her seat as she said, “I have to go

now. My ride’s here. I’ll see you guys in the dining hall tonight.”

Xandar reflexively held onto her elbow and asked frantically, “What ride?”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at his question as she replied matter-of-factly, “The ridet o take

me to tea.”

“What tea?” Xandar asked in jealousy as he thought to himself, ‘Who is she meeting with? Does she

have eyes for someone else? Someone better? WHO IS HE?!!’

Lucianne finally understood that Xandar forgot about who she was meeting. She smiled teasingly at her

mate, and kissed him on his cheek before she said, “The tea with Annie, my indecent beast. Who else?”

“Oh.”Xandar relaxed before muttering to himself, “Right. That’s today.”

Christian chuckled at his cousin’s overreaction and said, “Let the Queen go now, cuz. My wife isn’t going

to steal her away from you.” The wolves around the table were already chuckling as subtly a s they

could.

It was only then Xandar realised that he was still holding onto his mate’s elbow like his life depended on

it. He pulled her towards him to peck on her lips before uttering, “Link me if you need anything. And be

safe, okay?” She blushed and nodded dotingly. The alliance members were throwing cheeky smirks in

Lucianne’s way as she left the room.

Xandar’s eyes followed her out, and when they heard the front door shutting, Christian glanced at his

cousin before saying, “Everyone, let’s see if the King focuses better with or without the Queen here.”

Zelena’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she exclaimed, “We should place bets!”

Xandar turned to his cousin and asked in a low, embarrassed tone, “Is this really necessary, Christian?”

Disregarding what the King just said, Toby got the ball rolling, “I’m betting with.”

Juan continued, “With.” Xandar threw Juan a look of disbelief but the usually-serious Alpha didn’t seem

affected as he threw the King a cheeky smirk.

Zeke then yelled out, “I’m betting without.”

They went around the table until everyone placed their bets, leaving their King flustered.

When Lucianne opened the car door to the passenger’s seat, a familiar voice called out, “Aunt Lucy!”

“Russell? You came?” Lucianne asked in surprise at the little boy seated at the back with a safety belt

fastened across his chest. Lucianne then turned towards Annie for an explanation.

Annie explained, “When he knew I was meeting you today, he didn’t stop asking if he could come along

until I said yes.”

“Aww. That’s so sweet of you, Russell.” Lucianne said as she got in and closed the door behind her.

As Annie drove them to the cafe she had in mind, Lucianne asked about the families living with them,

and Annie admitted that they were getting kind of bored, so much so that they offered to help the kitchen

staff with the cooking.

When they entered the cafe and took a seat at their reserved table, the waiter took their orders before

getting Russell a high chair so that he could build his next contraption on the table.

Annie then started their conversation, “So, Lucy. I asked to meet you because I wanted to know:h how

do you do it? How do you… get on with life and…be okay after…well, after everything that has happened

to you?”

Lucianne was a little confused, “Do you mean the five rejections, Annie?”

“Well, it’s not just that. You weren’t affected when G-Greg said… those condescending things to you. And

even the other night, Christian said you were harassed by a minister last year, and yet you don’t seem

afraid.”

“I’m not.”

“But how? How do you find the power to stand back up again? I mean, you’ve taken quite a lot of hits.

Christian keeps saying that Xandar’s biggest worry now is life throwing more things at you than it already

has. Yet you seem okay. Better than okay, actually.”

Lucianne thought about her question before saying, “Well, I didn’t want to stay where I was. I didn’t want

to stay sad, depressed and afraid. I was afraid of getting up and facing situations that would make me

question myself again but I was more afraid of staying afraid. At least, if I tried to stand back up, I’d

actually get a chance at freedom from everything that was weighing me down. That was all I was going

for, to be honest, a chance at freedom.”

Annie digested what she said as she took a sip of her latte. After a moment, the Duchess asked,” But

don’t you get tired of doing it over and over again, Lucy?”

Lucianne smiled as she recalled the night she broke down with Xandar after meeting the Kyltons. “I do.

But the chance to be free and happy always seems tempting so I always chose to get back up, despite

my pessimism.”

“How do you hold yourself together when people try to bring you down? And you’re even able to shut

them up. That must require a lot of skill.”

“It doesn’t, really. Through the years, I learned that the best way to… put certain people in their place is

by showing them that they can’t push my buttons, even if I’m breaking on the inside. It

takes time and practice but eventually, anyone can get the hang of it.”

“So, when you break on the inside, you just hold it there and then breakdown when no one’s watching?”

Annie asked, saddened by what she was hearing.

Lucianne said matter-of-factly, “Yeah, I’ve cried to myself behind more closed doors than I can. count.

But the most recent time, Xandar was with me.”

Annie asked in a shocked, hushed voice, “You broke down recently? Are you okay, Lucy?” Even Russell

stopped playing and looked up at her in concern.

Lucianne chuckled lightly, and her hand started stroking the little boy’s hair as she told the Duchess, “I’m

okay, Annie. It’s normal for me. I’m not perfect. I put on a strong front, a brave face but I do get hurt too.

I’d be lying if I said that I’m not affected by the five rejections. I moved on from them but uh… I still

struggle with the feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness sometimes. It doesn’t really go away. It just

becomes manageable.”

“How do you manage it, though?” Annie asked in curiosity.

“Well, I tell myself that so long as I’m still here, that the Moon Goddess is still keeping me alive, there

must be some level of worth in me. There must be something I have to do, some way that I can help.

And I do everything I can. At first it was to fill the hole in my heart but as I progressed in training and

formed alliances, I realised that it was also to make me happy and to give me a sense of fulfillment.”

Annie nodded, and she took another sip as she thought about what Lucianne said. Lucianne then asked,

“Annie, if you don’t mind me asking, what is this about? Is everything okay with you?”