Offside Hearts: Chapter 44
Offside Hearts (Love and Hockey Book 1)
The non-expired medicine Noah sent over really does the trick. I sleep a full nine hours and wake up the next morning feeling much better. My head no longer feels like itâs full of sand, and I can actually breathe through my nose again.
Iâm still a little tired, so I stay in bed for a while after waking up, scrolling through social media and waiting for Noah to text me back. I sent him two messages last night, one right after the game, and one after I received the surprise medicine delivery, but he never responded to the second one.
He mustâve passed out early. I watched a highlight reel of the game last night, and he played his heart out. So even though itâs an hour later where he is, which means itâs already going on 9:30 his time, Iâm not overly worried that I havenât heard back from him yet.
Stretching the kinks out of my neck and shoulders, I crawl out of bed and throw on a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Iâm in the kitchen heating up some leftover soup and bread when my intercom buzzer goes off. Another delivery person is here with a package from Noah, and once they leave, I use a butter knife to cut through the tape on the box.
My brows pull together as I peek inside and try to decipher what Iâm seeing. It looks like some kind of clothing made of bright colors and fuzzy fabric. I pull it out and hold it up to the light, then immediately start laughing. Itâs one of those wearable blanket things, and itâs hideous.
I love it.
I put it on right away and take a picture with the hood up over my head and falling into my face. Then I sit down on the couch and start to send the photo to Noahâbut before I can, my phone buzzes with a notification from the Acesâ Twitter account. I see Noahâs name, along with the words âsome woman,â and I know right away that itâs just dumb tabloid drama. Even though weâve gone public with our relationship, some of the local gossip sites still havenât been able to let go of their image of Noah as a total player.
I send the notification away with a flick of my finger, but then another one comes through right after it. And another one. And another one.
Whatever the story is this time, itâs blowing up.
Sighing, because Iâm supposed to be having a day off but now Iâm going to have to deal with this nonsense, I open up the account and am immediately greeted by a picture of Noah walking out of his hotel room. Heâs wearing a t-shirt I bought for him, so I know itâs a photo that was taken recently. Underneath the picture, the headline reads, Playboy Noah Blake Caught Trying to Sneak Out of Hotel Room Unnoticed.
Is that it? Are people really up in arms because Noah tried to get away from the paparazzi after a long day of traveling and a hard-won game?
But then I see the comments, and I realize thatâs not the full story.
Not by a long shot.
DramaLlama22: Oh my god, look at his face! Trying to act all innocent, like he doesnât know what everyone is saying about him. Probably trying to hide so he doesnât have to pay child support.
HannahR505: I canât believe he would do this to that sweet girl! And he better not leave that baby hanging. Be a man and take responsibility, because you have no one to blame but yourself!
JujuBees_W: All Iâm saying is that I wouldnât mind being Noah Blakeâs baby mamaâ¦
Baby mama? Child support? What on earth are these people talking about?
My stomach flips over on itself as I click out of the social media page and go to Google instead. I type Noahâs name into the search bar, and the results all come up with the same storyâNoah Blake is having a baby with a woman named Rachel Travers.
âWhat the fuck?â I whisper.
I try to call Noah, and when he doesnât answer, I try againâthree times. Iâm doing my best to remain calm, assuming that this whole thing is just one big misunderstanding. Or if it is true, this Rachel Travers person must be someone Noah hooked up with before we met, and sheâs only now told him that sheâs pregnant. His past is catching up to him, but at least this woman and her unborn child are from his life before he met me.
Right?
I start crafting a long, rambling text to him, not even sure exactly what Iâm saying or asking of him, when a call comes through. Itâs Ted. I swipe across the screen to answer, and Iâm painfully aware of how panicked I sound as I speak into the phone.
âTed, oh my god, whatâs going on?â
âMargo,â he says, his voice tight. âWhat have you heard?â
âI havenât heard anything,â I stammer, hating how true that is. âI just got on my phone right now to see the internet losing its mind. What have you heard?â
âI donât have the full story yet,â he admits. âBut I called to tell you to stay away from this. Iâm serious. Youâre too close to all of this, and if you get involved, itâll just add fuel to the fire. Donât even think of yourself as the social media manager for the team right now, okay? At least, not when it comes to Noah Blake. I need you a million miles away from this drama. Take a few more sick days.â
âOkay.â
I nod slowly, feeling as if the world is tilting around me. After promising me that heâll handle the social media accounts in my absence, Ted hangs up. As soon as the call ends, I grab my laptop and flip it open, my hands shaking as I type an entry into the search bar.
Maybe I shouldnât be doing this, but I have to know. I need more answers.
Unfortunately, thereâs plenty of online chatter and gossip about Noah and his supposed baby momma already. I end up going down a rabbit hole of comments and speculation, and one comment I find leads me to an actual picture of the two of them. Itâs on a tabloid website, and splashed above the picture is the headline, Noah Blakeâs Secret Life?
According to the tabloid, the picture was taken two and a half weeks ago, and I try to remember what happened on the listed date. My stomach drops as it occurs to me that I wasnât with Noah that night. I was with Heather and a friend of ours, out for drinks with the girls.
And this is what he was doing?
The picture blurs as tears build in my eyes again, and I blink them away furiously. He and Rachel look like theyâre outside a private residence, standing close together. His back is to the camera, but the side of his face is partially visible, and the womanâs face is absolutely clear.
Sheâs beautiful.
Her haircut and makeup are flawless, and sheâs smiling flirtatiously at him.
Bile rises up in my throat, and I slam my laptop closed, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes as if I can somehow block out the sight thatâs already been seared into my retinas. I drag in several breaths, forcing myself to inhale and exhale slowly.
Just call him, Margo. Give him a chance to explain.
I call Noah again, but again, he doesnât answer. By this point, he may be in the air already, on the flight back to Denver with his team.
I pull my phone away from my ear as his voicemail message comes on, pressing the âend callâ button. Then I open up my personal account on TikTok, biting my lip so hard it aches as I do a search for his name. A lot of what comes up is clips from Aces games, but when I sort for more recent videos, the top result that pops up has thousands of views.
When I press on it and it starts to play, my breath catches. Itâs a video of Noah, and it was posted earlier today.
It looks like whoeverâs recording caught Noah as he was walking down the street, because the camera shakes a bit as whoeverâs holding it runs to catch up with him.
âHey,â a male voice calls from behind the camera. âNoah Blake! Is it true you knocked up some woman?â
Noah doesnât answer, ducking his head and shoving his hands in his pockets as he picks up his pace. But the guy is persistent, and he pulls up alongside Noah, then gets a little bit ahead of him, still filming.
âCome on, dude, the people want to know. Are you the father?â
Noah glances up. He looks awful, like he hasnât slept at all. Dark shadows are visible under his eyes, and his hair is unkempt. He swallows, licking his lips, and my heart stutters in my chest.
Then he says, âYes.â
And my heart stops beating.
âFuuuuck,â the guy behind the camera breathes, sounding disappointed and scandalized. Noahâs jaw clenches, and he turns away, cutting across the street to escape the guy who accosted him. The camera flips around to reveal a young man, probably in his early twenties. He makes a face, his eyes wide. âDamn, bro. Heâs gonna be a daddy.â
The video loops, starting over from the beginning, and I keep staring at the screen, seeingâhearingâthat single moment over and over.
Yes.
Up until this point, part of me was still hoping it was some kind of misunderstanding or mistake. That it would all be cleared up and make sense somehow. That it would turn out the press was making shit up, and Noah hadnât actually gotten some other woman pregnant while he was dating me.
But itâs not a mistake. Itâs not a lie.
Noah confirmed it himself.
That thought lodges in my heart like an ice pick, and something inside me breaks.
Iâve been standing outside Noahâs building for an hour now, my arms wrapped around myself as if that will keep me from falling apart. It took me most of the morning to pull myself together, and once I did, I realized what I needed to do.
I have to confront him. I have to speak to him, face to face.
So I took a shower, put on some clean clothes, and headed across town. Itâs cold out, and my hair is still damp, so standing here waiting for him is probably going to make my cold worse, but I donât give a shit.
I need him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth.
He hasnât answered a single one of my texts or calls, but Iâm not going to let him slink into the shadows and not own up to what he did. No fucking way.
I tuck my coat a little tighter around myself and shift my weight from one foot to the other to try to warm up, and thatâs when I see a black Mercedes pulling around the corner. Itâs him. I donât know how I know, but I just do. There are plenty of other people who live in this fancy building who might drive a car like that, but I have a feeling deep in my gut that itâs Noah.
I step forward, my body moving of its own accord as my pulse picks up, my heart racing so fast that it almost makes me lightheaded. Heâs driving down the street toward the garage entrance of his building, and when he glances over and sees me, his eyes widen.
Our gazes lock as shock registers on his handsome, familiar face.
And thatâs when I lose my nerve.
Shaking my head, I turn and stride down the street in the direction of my car, my stomach twisting itself into a knot.
Itâs too soon. Iâm not ready to face him.
Behind me, thereâs a screech of brakes. The engine cuts off, and I hear Noah get out of the car, but I donât turn around.
âWait! Margo, wait!â
Something about hearing my name on his lips shatters the last piece of my heart. I stop suddenly, wheeling around to face him as he hurries to catch up to me. He looks even more haggard in person than he did in that video, but even his rough state isnât enough to make me feel bad for him.
âHow could you, Noah?â I hiss. âHow could you do this? Are you some sort of sociopath? Huh?â When he reaches me, I shove against his chest. âI told you I didnât want to date someone who was going to break my heart, and you promised me! You swore you werenât that guy anymore, but it turns out you were just fucking with me.â
I shove at his chest again, although not hard. I donât have that kind of physical violence in me, and Noahâs nearly twice my size, so itâs not like I have the strength to knock him off his feet. But even so, he staggers backward a step, giving way under my fury.
âIs that what gets you off?â I demand, all the hurt and anger thatâs been building up inside me spilling over. âFucking with my head? Turning my life upside down and then ripping my heart out?â
âMargo,â he says again, and hearing my name come out of his mouth is truly heartbreaking. I used to light up every time he said it, but now, all it does is twist the knife in my chest.
âTell me it isnât true.â I wish I didnât sound like I was begging, but I am. âPlease, Noah. Tell me. Look me in the eyes and say that you didnât sleep with that woman while we were together.â
He doesnât answer.
And he doesnât look me in the eyes.
Instead, he squeezes his eyes shut, balling up his hands at his sides as if the tension in his body has nowhere else to go. I can tell that this conversation is hurting him, and a sick part of me likes that it is. He should have to hurt a little, after what heâs put me through.
I stay quiet for a full agonizing minute, waiting. Hoping. Praying for him to say anything that will bind the splintered pieces of my heart into a whole, beating organ again.
The noises of the city fall away around us, and I stare at Noahâs face. Every line and curve of it. His strong nose, his full lips, his cheekbones, his forehead. When his eyes finally open again, revealing those startling blue irises that drew me in from the first day I met him, I shake my head.
âSo thatâs it, then,â I whisper, tears spilling from my eyes.
I take a step backward, dragging in a gulp of air as a sob threatens to burst out of me. He moves like heâs going to follow me, and I hold up a hand, stopping him. He freezes, a muscle in his cheek jumping as his jaw clenches.
âYou want to know the worst thing about all of this?â I ask, not even bothering to wipe away the tears as more fall. âI was ready to be there for you. When I first heard that you had gotten someone else pregnant, I thought maybe it was someone from before we met, and I was ready to support you. Whole-heartedly. I wouldnât have held that against you or made you feel like you needed to choose between me or your child. I wouldâve kept my chin up and taken on the consequences of your past, because thatâs how much I loved you.â
Heâs crying now too, although he still hasnât said a thing to me except my name. We stare at each other for a long moment, and in the space of that moment, I can feel the entire future I built for us in my mindâthe love, the laughter, the familyâfalling away.
âWeâre done, Noah,â I say in a voice thatâs barely above a whisper. âIâm done.â
My limbs feel numb and heavy as I get into my car, turn the key, and drive away, leaving him standing on the sidewalk behind me.