Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire: Chapter 10

Ethan

‘Hey, Ethan. Have you seen the new intranet board recently?’ Jackson’s voice sounds like he’s bemused as I answer the phone in the early hour of the morning.

‘No. Why would I be looking at that? I’m doing actual work, not wasting my time online.’ I huff as I stare at the stack of papers on my desk. I have a million things to do, and I haven’t been able to concentrate on any of them because of a certain young lady in copywriting.

‘Well, turns out one of your favorite employees has put a…’

‘Who’s one of my favorite employees?’ I cut him off.

‘You know.’

‘Are you talking about Edith?’ I ask. ‘What has she done now?’

‘Not Edith, your other favorite female at the company.’

‘I have no idea who you’re talking about,’ I say, though my mind does flash to Sarah. But that’s ridiculous because I don’t even know her well. There’s no way that she’s a favorite employee of mine. I don’t even know what her work ethic is like. I don’t know if she’s talented. I don’t know anything. I know I like her, but there’s no actual basis for my like.

‘You know, that girl in copywriting.’

‘Sarah is not one of my favorite employees,’ I blurt out and instantly regret it.

‘Oh, so you do remember her name.’ He chuckles.

‘What is going on, Jackson?’

‘I think you need to pull up the intranet.’

‘Why?’

‘Because Sarah has posted something.’

‘She has?’ I’m befuddled now. Didn’t that just go up yesterday afternoon? What is she posting? I want to look but don’t want to feel like I need to look. ‘What has she posted about?’

‘I think you’re going to want to read this for yourself,’ Jackson says, chuckling. ‘Or I can read it to you.’

‘I do not have time to play games right now, Jackson. I have work to do, and I’m pretty sure you have work to do, as well.’

‘Unlike you, Mr. Rosser, I know when to leave my work at home. Life is all about balance. You work as hard as you can, and then you play as hard as you can.’

‘Well, it doesn’t sound like you’re playing hard to me, right now, seeing as we’re on the phone.’

‘I’ll have you know that I just finished a date with a very beautiful supermodel who I’m not going to name.’

‘They’re all very beautiful supermodels, Jackson.’

‘What are you saying? That I only date supermodels?’

‘I’m not saying that. It just seems to be the case.’

‘I’d date Sarah,’ he says as if I want to hear that. ‘Do you know if she’s seeing anyone?’

‘What? What are you talking about?’ The tone in my voice is steel-like, and I can feel my shoulders tense.

‘Oh, actually, I’m pretty sure that she’s not seeing someone.’ He laughs again. ‘Maybe she’ll be up for a date with me.’

‘Jackson, what is going on? Why are you interested in Sarah, and how’d you know she’s single?’ I’m getting pissed off now.

‘Why, are you interested if she’s single?’ he asks innocently. ‘What about the no-fraternization policy?’

‘Jackson,’ I shout. ‘I do not have time for these games.’

‘Pull up the intranet, Ethan. Trust me, you’re going to want to read this.’

‘I’m going to go. I…’

‘Mid-thirties, slightly hot mess female seeking billionaire,’ he says loudly and then clears his throat.

‘Huh?’ I’m about to hang up, but now I’m confused. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘That’s the title of the post that little Miss Sarah Kahan just posted to the intranet at one twelve a.m.’

‘She posted what?’ For a couple of seconds, I feel disappointment. Is she a gold digger, after all? Did she see my article, and now she’s trying to get her hooks into me? Because how many other billionaires work at Rosser International besides Jackson, and Jackson hasn’t yet inherited his fortune. Though, he’s still worth hundreds of millions of dollars from his trust. I sigh in disappointment at the thought that Sarah is like all the other women, after all.

‘You want to hear more?’ Jackson asks as if that’s even in question.

‘Go on, read it. Wait, let me get up from my desk and pour a stiff drink. I think I’m going to need it before I hear what this says.’

‘Oh, you’re definitely going to need it,’ he says, chuckling. ‘It seems that little Miss Sarah is not so dowdy and innocent.’

‘What do you mean by innocent?’ I think back to her dancing on the table. Those were not the dance moves of an innocent woman.

‘I don’t know. I figured, anyone that’s coming to work with thick-ass glasses, hair in a bun, and looking like some sort of Great-Aunt Mildred that works in the library, isn’t exactly trying to pull at work, right?’

‘And what’s wrong with that? Are you trying to say that she should be trying to pull? You know…’

‘I know, Ethan. There’s a no-fraternization policy at the company. That doesn’t mean that women don’t try and look good for men, and that doesn’t mean there aren’t lots of people banging in the office.’

‘Who is?’

‘That’s not important right now, Ethan. Do you or do you not want to hear what little Miss Sarah has posted?’

‘Fine,’ I say, stretching my legs and heading to my bar. I grab the crystal decanter of whiskey and pour it into a glass. I’m not even going to bother with ice. I have a feeling I don’t need it. I take a sip. ‘Wait a second. Did she call herself a hot mess?’

‘Yep,’ he says. ‘I guess if she’s nothing, she’s honest.’

‘Mid-thirties, slightly hot mess female seeking billionaire,’ I repeat the words over. ‘She’s literally crazy. Does she want to get fired or something?’

‘I don’t know,’ he says, ‘but you might want to fire her after you hear exactly what is in the post, which you still haven’t heard yet, and I’m not sure why you haven’t wanted to hear yet. Is it because you’re scared that…’

‘I’m not scared of anything, Jackson. Go on. Tell me exactly what it says.’

He clears his throat, and there’s a long silence.

‘Hello? Are you there?’

‘I just want to make sure you’re really ready for this.’

‘Jackson, you’re getting on my nerves. Tell me what it says.’

‘Hold on, Ethan. Don’t get your panties in a twist.’

‘Jackson, I will fire you if you do not tell me what it says right now.’

‘We both know that you’re never going to fire me. We both know that you couldn’t live without me. We both know that…’

‘Jackson, you sound like a dick right now.’

‘Maybe that’s because I am a dick,’ he says. ‘Or wait, maybe it’s because I have a dick. You know what that supermodel asked me tonight?’

‘What?’ I groan as I jump up and head toward my computer. ‘If you don’t tell me what it says, I will just pull it up and read it.’

‘She said to me she wanted to see if the rumors were true.’

‘Huh? What rumors?’

‘About my twelve-inch cock,’ Jackson says, and I roll my eyes.

‘Dude, you’re like a brother. I love you. You do not have a twelve-inch cock.’

‘You don’t know how big it is unless you’ve been peeking.’

‘Jackson.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Read the rest of that post now,’ I say, ‘or I’ll just find it myself and…’

‘Fine,’ he says. ‘Okay, should I say it in my voice or in her voice?’

‘What?’ I’m exasperated now. I am about to go off on him.

‘I could say it in a really high-pitched voice,’ he says, squeaking. ‘Mid-thirties, slightly hot mess female seeking billionaire. Maybe Ethan Rosser.’ He starts chortling. ‘Oh, my gosh. Was that too far? Tell me it was too far. No, it wasn’t. It was…’

‘Jackson. You know what, dude? I’m going to read it myself. Thank you for letting me know. I am done with you and your bullshit.’

‘My bullshit? Why are you so upset? I thought you would be happy that I was letting you know that one of your top employees is soliciting for a billionaire on our company intranet.’

‘It was your idea to do the intranet.’

‘I know, and I thought it was a great idea.’

‘Are you going to tell me what it says or not?’

‘Fine. Okay, are you listening to me?’

‘I’ve been listening, Jackson.’ I’m infuriated now.

‘To whom it may concern,’ he starts, ‘this is a long shot. I’m seeking a billionaire. I will also settle for a millionaire. Sorry, I’m not interested in any salesmen looking to sell me a time-share or part of their animal balloon company (been there, done that). I’m not a gold digger, though you may not believe that. I have references. Ask all my broke exes and my best friends.

‘To be fair, I’m not a glamorous model, actress, or professional dancer. I do, however, take pole dancing lessons (for fun, of course, not dollar bills). I am an educated, (I still have the student loans to prove it), open-minded, (toy stores are fun and not for games), fairly cute (when I try), only a little curvy, (those last thirty pounds don’t want to leave), single female. I want to be swept off my feet, wined, dined, and bedded in ways that make me forget my name. I have a job (that I hate) with a boss that makes me want to jump off a cliff. However, my friends make up for the day job. I’m ready for an adventure, and possibly a penthouse with a maid and a design budget. If interested, please respond before Monday morning so I don’t have to go in to work. Love, Sultry Sassy Sarah.’ Jackson stops, and I’m dumbfounded and struggling to comprehend what I just heard. My heart is racing, and I almost want to laugh.

‘You are not serious,’ I say finally. ‘This cannot be real.’

‘I’m one hundred percent serious,’ he says, chuckling like he’s just left a Dave Chappelle show.

‘I do not believe that she posted that on the company intranet. Is she out of her mind?’

‘Are you upset because she said she hates her job and she has a boss that makes her want to jump off a cliff, or because she posted this?’

‘I very much doubt she’s talking about me.’ I pause. ‘Do you think she’s talking about me?’

‘I don’t know, but possibly.’

‘You know what? I have to go,’ I say and hang up before he can answer. I bring up the company intranet and look at the message myself. I cannot believe that Sarah has posted this. I cannot believe she said she hates her job after I asked her to create a jingle. I’ve given her an amazing opportunity, and this is what she says?

I press my lips together. I want to find out her phone number, call her, and tell her off, but I know it is way too early to do such a thing. Instead, I log in to the HR files to find her company email address and send her a message.

Sarah, this is your boss, Ethan Rosser. We won’t be able to meet tomorrow, but I would like to see you in my office first-thing Monday morning. Do not be late.