Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire: Chapter 19

Sarah

Dear Diary,

Have you ever experienced a moment so perfect that it makes you want to cry? Have you ever just felt so connected to one person that it doesn’t feel real? Well, of course you haven’t. You’re an inanimate object. You don’t feel anything. It would be weird if you did. Or maybe I’m just weird. That’s more likely. But I’m just here to say that I felt something today. And get your mind out of the gutter, I don’t just mean Ethan’s cock. Hehe, don’t judge me.

I mean something special. Something visceral. I felt it in every bone of my body. But it scared me.

It’s super scary to know you’re getting the feels for someone. It’s much like the day when you realize you won’t live forever and have no control over anything in life. But anyway, I’m blabbering on. I will tell you more soon. After I laugh and cry.

Sunny and always smiling, Sarah

The smell of hot and greasy Chinese food greets me as I make my way out of Ethan’s bathroom and head towards the kitchen. I can hear Noah Kahan’s suave and svelte voice carry through the room and I smile. I’m happily surprised that Ethan is playing his music. I hadn’t expected that he would actually listen to him.

“Ready to eat?” Ethan says as he hands me a plate, filled with so much food that my heart expands with joy.

“More than ready. I’m so hungry. Thank you.” I follow him to the dining table and we sit down across from each other. I watch Ethan dig into his fried rice and then start eating myself. I don’t want to stuff my face like a pig, but everything looks and smells so delicious that I just can’t stop myself.

‘I just cannot stop eating. This food is so delicious,’ I say as I grab another crab rangoon and stuff it into my mouth. The cream cheese is still warm and gooey and I lick my lips to ensure I don’t waste any of its salty goodness.

‘Well, you did have quite the workout this afternoon.’ Ethan has a glint in his eyes and I giggle slightly. I don’t know why I’m so happy and so flush, but I’m not going to question it. The afternoon has been fun, but I still can barely believe what has happened or what it means.

‘Well, I don’t want to say I’ve had harder workouts.’ I want to groan as I realize what I’ve just said. What does that say about me? I was talking about in the gym, but I’m not going to explain that now.

“Really?” He looks at me with a raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes. I can see the surprise in his face and then he chuckles as if I’m joking.

‘I don’t know if that’s a challenge or what.’ He leans forward and stares at my lips.

‘Why would it be a challenge?’ I ask him, praying I don’t just take my clothes off and throw them on the ground. Do not act like a desperado, Sarah. ‘A challenge to do what?’

‘I don’t know.’ He says slowly licking his lips and standing up. My heart races as he comes to stand next to me and looks down. ‘Maybe you want a harder workout from me?’ He winks. ‘I’m guessing that’s your way of telling me that you’d like to do the work?’ He puts a hand in the air like he has a lasso in his hands and I swallow hard.

‘What do you mean, I’d like to do the work?’

He bites down on his lower lip and my stomach flips as he grabs my hands and pulls me up. He is absolutely gorgeous, and I know that whatever he says next is going to make me want him more because I’m just stupid and crazy like that. Plus I love a dominant alpha man.

‘Well, normally when a woman is on top, she does a lot more work.’ He says as he pulls me toward him and the couch.

‘Is that your way of telling me you want me on top?’ I ask as he falls back onto the couch and pulls me on top of him.

‘I’ll have you any way that I can get you,” he says, with a small wink. I’m about to respond that he’s already had me, but even I know I don’t want to say that. I thank myself internally for not being a complete blabbermouth as he pulls me up his body so that I’m positioned on top of his hardness.

‘So are we done with food and we want to have seconds of dessert?” His hands cup my ass.

‘Well, I don’t know about seconds. We’ve already had seconds.’ I moan slightly as he grabs my hips and moves me back and forth.

“Hmm?” He grunts.

“The way I calculate it, we only have room for one more.’

‘Oh?’ He stares at me for a couple of seconds and I smile sweetly at him. ‘You said five times and you’re out, right?’

‘Yes.’ He frowns ‘But I say many things, and does this really count as five times, being as it’s all been on one day?’

‘I think it counts.’ I nod. ‘So you can have me on top one time, and then it’s done. We’re done.’

He frowns slightly and shakes his head. ‘So, what does that mean?’

‘You’re the one that has the rule that you only do it five times, right?’

‘Yes.’He shakes his head in exasperation. ‘I’ve never had a woman remind me of that.’

‘I’m not sure why not.” I say, feeling like a fool. Why am I going on about this? It’s not like I don’t want there to be more than five times. I just don’t want him to know that I want there to be more than five times. I don’t know what sort of game I’m playing, but it doesn’t seem to be working out well for me.

‘So,” He changes the subject. ‘I think this Noah Kahan guy is as good a singer as you say.’

‘You’re changing the subject?” I groan as I feel him growing harder beneath me.

‘I thought that the other conversation was done.’ He shrugs as he shifts me to the side and stands up. ‘Would you like another glass of wine?’

‘I would. Thank you. That has to be the best cabernet sauvignon I’ve ever had in my life.’

He grins. ‘It is from Italy. I took a trip there last year and bought quite a number of bottles and had them shipped over to me.’

‘Ooh, must be nice.’ I rub my hands in glee. ‘Money pants.’ I try to ignore the fact that I miss his body next to mine.

‘Well, you knew I had money.’ He shrugs. ‘I spend it. Is that a shock?’

‘No. If I had that sort of money, I’d be going to Italy and buying bottles of wine as well.’

‘You’ve never been to Italy?’ He looks surprised as if everyone has the money to fly overseas on a whim. I shake my head. ‘Do you want to go to Italy?’

‘Are you asking me if I want to go to Italy because you’re going to take me?’ I respond back giggling. He stares at me for a couple of seconds and then shakes his head.

‘No, that’s not what I was asking.’

‘Okay, then.’ I feel slightly embarrassed and so I stand up and grab the glass from him that he’s offering me. ‘Thank you.”

‘Do you want to watch a movie or something?’ He asks me hesitantly and he looks taken aback by his own statement.

‘A movie?’ I stare at him in surprise. I didn’t think that he would want to do anything else with me right now. I was surprised he hadn’t kicked me out already. This was technically meant to be a meeting where I was getting in trouble for posting a personal ad that never should have made it onto the company intranet. Instead it was turning into something else. That I had certainly never expected.

‘I just think that it would be nice to relax.” He shrugs nonchalantly. ‘Unless you have somewhere to be, something to do right now.’ His voice trails off and he looks away.

‘Not right now, I don’t.’ I’m not sure what to say. I do want to spend more time with him. I surprisingly like him more than I thought I would. I just don’t know if it’s stupid to be liking him. He’s my boss and I just made love to him several times, and it feels amazing and weird at the same time. Was it really smart to be watching a movie or a TV show with him? Especially considering the fact that this wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t like this was some sort of amazing first date and we were going to make plans for a second and a third and possibly ride off into the sunset and get married.

This man was my boss. He’d already told me that he has no intentions of dating me. He has no intentions of taking me on a date and whisking me off of my feet. He has no intention of doing anything romantic with me.

This isn’t going to end in true love.

‘Sure.’ I say, going against my intellect. ‘Let’s watch something.’

‘What do you want to watch?’ He asks as he walks over to the living room. I watch as he picks up a remote control and turns on the TV. ‘I have every TV station and app available, so anything you wish to see, it should be available to me.’

‘I have almost every app as well.’, I laugh. ‘I love watching TV.’ I wrinkle my nose. ‘Or should I not admit that?’

‘No, that’s great.’ He stares at me for a couple of seconds. ‘Now you can tell me to shut up, but I would love your feedback on something.’

‘Oh, what?’

‘So we’re planning on starting an entertainment division at Rosser International. We’re primarily interested in getting into the music industry. So we’re thinking of starting a record company’ My heart races at his words. They’re going to open a record label? Would he ever consider signing me? I don’t say anything though. I don’t want him to think that I want anything from him.

‘That sounds cool.’ I nod. I don’t want him to think that the only reason I am interested or care is because I want him to sign me. There would be nothing worse than him offering me a contract just because I slept with him.

‘But we’re also thinking about getting into TV production and also getting into possibly starting our own TV channel.’

‘Oh?’ I stare at him. ‘I had no clue.’

‘Well, you wouldn’t, would you? You’re not exactly-‘ He pauses as if he thinks better about what he’s about to say.

‘What? I’m not exactly what?’

‘You’re not exactly privy to executive talk.’ He shrugs and looks me in the eyes. ‘Don’t get mad at me.’

‘Oh, I’m not mad.” I laugh loudly. ‘I work in the copywriting department as a junior copywriter. I barely make $50,000 a year. I’m not under any illusion that I am in the upper echelon of people that work at Rosser International.’

‘You make $50,000 a year?’ He looks surprised, like he can’t believe it. He most probably spends $50,000 a day.

‘Please don’t tell me you think that’s a lot of money.’

‘I don’t. I think that’s not much money to have to live in the city.’ He frowns.

‘Trust me when I say it’s hard.’

‘I know you don’t want to talk about your salary or have me go to HR, but-‘

‘But nothing, Ethan.’ I shake my head. ‘You cannot go to HR and talk about my salary. I do not want you to. I do not want-‘

‘It’s got nothing to do with us sleeping together. You know that, right?’

‘Yeah, I know that, but-‘

‘But what? Do you think other people wouldn’t know that?’

‘I don’t know. I just don’t want anyone to think that there was any impropriety. And I don’t want you to think that there was any impropriety here. I don’t want you to think that—.’

‘I don’t think you came over here to convince me to give you a pay raise.’ He shakes his head. ‘Just like I don’t think you came over here with the intention of-‘

‘Ethan, can we just watch a TV show and hang out?’

‘Of course. I’d like nothing more.’ He motions to the couch.

‘What was the question you had for me? If it’s something I can answer that is not going to be about me getting a raise or anything like that, I’ll be happy to do it. But if it’s about something else-‘

‘I was just going to ask you what sort of TV shows you really enjoy? Jackson and I have been debating with paying for several scripted drama shows or reality TV.’

‘Oh, wow. I love scripted drama shows, but I can’t lie I love reality TV as well. In fact, there’s this show I’ve been watching recently called The Traitors, and it’s absolutely amazing.’

‘The Traitors?’ He looks at me with a small smile. ‘Never heard of it.’

‘We can watch an episode if you want.’ I stare at him. ‘You might not like it, but I think it’s fun.’

‘Okay. Let’s watch The Traitors.’ He types it into his TV screen remote and I see the word popping up. ‘The Traitors USA, The Traitors UK, and The Traitors Australia. Which one do you want to watch?’ He asks. ‘UK, US and Australia. Wow looks like a pretty popular show.’

‘Yeah, they also have it in Canada and New Zealand, but you can’t get that through Peacock. I love the UK one the most, if you want to watch that. Even though US is great too.’

‘Let’s do it.’ He settles onto the couch. ‘You want to sit next to me?’

I stare at him and shake my head and head over to the recliner. He looks back at me for a couple of seconds and shrugs, though I can see a look of disappointment on his face.

‘Really Sarah?’

‘What? You asked if I wanted to sit next to you, and-‘

‘Get over here, Sarah.’ He motions to me and points to the seat next to him.

‘Excuse me?’ My jaw drops slightly.

‘I said, get over here. Or do you want me to pick you up and bring you over?’

‘You are not going to pick me up, and-‘

He stands up and I jump out of the recliner quickly.

‘Fine. I will come over and sit next to you, but…’

‘But what?’ He grins as he grabs my hand and pulls me into him. ‘You scared to be too close to me? You’re scared the big bad wolf is going to eat you?’

‘Why would I be scared about that?’ I ask grinning. ‘The big bad wolf has already eaten me.’

‘And you loved it, didn’t you?’

‘I wouldn’t say loved it, but-‘

‘But what?’ His hand creeps up my back and tugs on my hair. ‘You didn’t love it?’

‘Okay. Maybe I loved it, but you loved it too.’

‘Fuck yeah.’ He growls. ‘I don’t know if I should tell you this, but you give the best head I’ve ever received.’

‘Wow. What a compliment, Ethan. Maybe that’s something I can put on my resume.’ I roll my eyes. He’s so unromantic.

He chuckles. ‘But you know what, you also could give me the best ride of my life too.’ He rubs my thigh. “Giddy up, cowgirl.”

‘Ethan!’ I gasp and giggle.

‘What? I’m just saying I could help you out. You said you wanted more of a workout.’

‘Maybe later.’ I grin, and squeeze his hand. ‘Maybe before I go.’

‘Promise?’ There’s a glint in his eyes as he kisses the side of my face and then looks at my lips. Why is this man so damn sexy?

‘Maybe.’ I say, as I reach down and rub the front of his pants in a direct way. I love how hard he is already and I bite down on my lower lip to stop from dropping to my knees and taking him into my mouth immediately.

‘You’re such a fucking tease, Sarah.’ He pants and I can tell that I am driving him crazy. ‘And I absolutely love it.”

“What?” I whisper under my breath as my heart races. I stare at him for a few seconds and then rub my head as my brain processes what he’d just said. For a moment I think he’s said he loves me and I am about to say I think I love you too before my brain calls out my wishful thinking and poor hearing.

I really am losing it.

And even worse than that is the fact that I’m pretty confident that I am developing real feelings for this man.

How am I falling in love so quickly?

I really am a hot mess.