Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire: Chapter 21

Sarah

Dear Diary,

There is no way that I am ever going to live this down. No way whatsoever. I need to leave earth.

STAT!

I don’t care if aliens come from the sky and kidnap me and tell me I have to marry a hedgehog. I will do it. In a heartbeat. I won’t protest or say no thanks. I will ask if the hedgehog would like some tea with honey or coffee and live out my life on Mars, Pluto, or whatever other planet the aliens came from. I’m sure you are wondering what happened. Don’t worry I’m about to tell you.

Ashamed and Red in the face, Sarah

Have you ever lived your life in fantasyland? Dreaming and hoping that one thing will be true and ignoring reality. That’s pretty much how I’ve spent the last few days. Ethan allowed me to take a couple of days off to concentrate on writing the jingle for the Royal Line of Lights, and I haven’t been happier.

I feel so light and excited. I’ve been in my element, thinking up lyrics and playing different instruments to see what sounds the best. Johnson seems to be enjoying me being at home so much, though I think it’s because he’s getting an extra walk each day. And an extra treat.

‘Get your lights, sparkly lights, make your palace your home.’ I sing as I dance around the living room, shaking some maracas one of my brothers brought me back from his last trip to Puerto Rico. I don’t love the tune or the lyrics, but I am having fun. I am happy to be able to use my creative mind for something that excites me more than boring ad copy for product placement. I try not to question whether I am excited because I am working with Ethan on this project or writing a song.

My body still tingles thinking about Ethan. I wonder if we will ever make love again. Not that I would ever bring it up to him. Not that I would want him to break his rules for me. Not that I even care. Part of me wants to tell him that I could sleep with him 100 times, and it wouldn’t make me feel any differently about him. Though I’m not 100% sure if that’s true, I think about him a lot. Randomly throughout the day. I think of the way he kissed me. I think of the way his fingers touched me. I think of the way we laughed and joked around and wonder if he also thinks about those moments. I also think about when I thought he’d said I love you. And the way my heart had raced with love for him. I don’t want to dwell on that too much, though. Because I don’t want to think I’m crazy. How can I be falling in love with Ethan Rosser?

I’m grateful when my phone rings, and I walk over to the coffee table and pick it up. Joy fills me when I hear Ella inviting me out. I need to get out of the house and out of my head. I need to ignore my growing feelings for my boss.

“So, what exactly is going on between the two of you?’ Ella asks me, and I can tell from her face that she doesn’t know whether to be nervous or excited for me.

I can tell she’s super confused by what I’ve told her about my situation with Ethan, but that’s not a surprise because I’m also quite confused. I don’t know how to explain the chemistry and magic I feel when I’m with him.

‘Nothing’s going on,’ I say, trying not to let my exasperation win out.

‘What do you mean nothing’s going on?’ Ella prods.

‘I mean, we hooked up once. Well, more than once, but it’s done. We’re not hooking up again. I haven’t even heard from him.’

‘That’s so weird,’ Isabel chimes in and takes a sip of her drink. She’s thoughtful for a few moments and then continues. ‘Why are guys so weird?’

‘I wish I knew.” I shake my head and play with my hair. Even though I’m in my thirties, I still don’t really understand men. I don’t want the sadness to fill me because I really enjoyed my time with Ethan, and even though I wish that circumstances were different and that he’d been blowing up my phone and asking me out, I didn’t want that to dampen the moments we’d had together. I mean, it wasn’t like we had anything special.

‘I think he sounds like a real idiot,’ Ella says. ‘I mean, I know men just don’t get it like we do, but…’

‘But nothing,’ I say, sighing. ‘He has a five-time rule. Remember?’

‘Five dates?’ Ella asks with a frown. “Five times of what?”

‘I guess it’s a combination of five dates or five times hooking up or something.’ I shake my head. ‘I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.’ I freeze as my phone starts ringing. All of us look at the screen. I can’t believe it when I see Ethan’s name on the screen. Do I have magical powers? I say his name, and then he calls.

‘Oh my gosh, it’s him,’ Isabel says, a giddy expression on her face as if she’d been waiting for the call herself.

I laugh slightly at how happy she sounds. I’m the one that should be feeling giddy, not her. But I suppose that’s why she’s such a good friend. She’s happy for me, and that makes her happy.

‘What should I do?’ I ask, just staring at my vibrating phone on the top of the table. I want to answer, but I don’t want him to know that I’m eager to speak to him.

‘Answer it, of course,’ Ella says, pushing it towards me.

I grab it, take a deep breath and say casually, ‘This is Sarah. Can I help you?’

‘Sarah, it’s me.’

‘Sorry, who’s me?’ I say as if I don’t have Ethan’s number saved in my phone.

‘It’s Ethan, your boss.” His tone is clipped, as if he’s annoyed.

I try not to roll my eyes. I don’t know why he had to add my boss. We both know he’s my boss, but I would’ve hoped he’d think he was more than that now that we’d slept together. Couldn’t he have said, “it’s me, Ethan, your part-time lover, or something?”

‘Oh, hello, Ethan,’ I say in a stilted tone because I don’t want him to know how excited I am.

‘What are you doing?” He demands as if he deserves to know the information.

‘I am out with my best friends, Ella and Isabel, and we’re—.”

“Okay, I see,” he says, cutting me off.

I frown slightly. I can’t stand it when he’s a rude, annoying asshole.

‘I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days,’ he continues.

‘Yeah, well, I’ve been working and—.“

‘Is the jingle ready?’

‘It’s not ready yet, but it will be soon. You gave me two weeks, remember?’

‘Well, I thought you might be finished with it earlier than that.’

‘Well, you thought wrong,’ I say. I’m starting to feel annoyed now. Why had I been so excited to hear from him?

‘I need you to meet me tomorrow,’ he says lowering his voice.

‘Okay, when and where?” I want to groan at how eager I sound.

‘4:00 PM at the Champagne Room,’ his voice is a low growl.

‘The Champagne Room?’ I ask, my heart racing suddenly. ‘Are you asking me—.“

‘I got to go.’ He clicks and hangs up the phone before I can finish my question.

I stare at the phone for a few seconds in disbelief and then look at my best friends. Their eyes are both wide and I can tell that they want to know what the conversation was about, but they’re nervous to ask.

‘I think he may have just asked me on a date,’ I say grinning, widely. I can’t help myself, I’m excited. Really, really excited. Maybe this is going somewhere, after all.

‘Wait, what?’ Ella says. ‘Like a real date?’

I nod slowly. ‘He wants to meet me tomorrow at the Champagne Room.” I squeal. “I mean, it sure sounds like a venue for a date.”

‘Oh my gosh,’ Isabel says, gawking. ‘The Champagne Room is only the city’s best, most exclusive bar.’

‘I know,’ I say, nodding slowly as I remember reading about it in a magazine. ‘Girls, what am I going to wear? Oh my gosh, I’m freaking out guys. I think Ethan Rosser just asked me out on a real date.’

I start jumping up and down, and they both stand up and join me. I grab their hands, and we’re all jumping up and down together as if we’re 18 years old and the quarterback just asked me to homecoming.

‘Guys, what do you think it means?’

‘I don’t know,’ Isabel says. ‘But what I do know is that he’s been thinking about you and he wants you and…’

Ella nods. ‘I think he might be about to change his five-day rule for you.’

‘Five-time rule,’ I say, giggling. ‘I don’t know if it’s five days or five times in bed or whatever. It doesn’t matter. Do you really think so?’

‘Girl, you blew his world and now he wants more,’ Ella says, nodding. ‘How exciting.’

‘I know. I’m freaking out. Should I wear my slinky red dress or that short black one I recently got that clings to my body?’

‘The short black one,’ Isabel says, cutting me off. ‘Definitely. When you walk in that dress, you look like a million dollars. If you bend over slightly, your ass is giving hotness.’

‘But do I really want to go looking like a hoe?’

‘Girl, you want him to stare at that ass,” Ella says, giggling. ‘You want him to look at you and think, holy shit, she is dynamite.’

“That’s true. I cannot believe that I have a date with Ethan Rosser. Okay, I need to calm down,’ I say, trying to stop myself from screaming. ‘And to think, I thought the reason I hadn’t heard from him was because he wasn’t interested, but it turns out absence does make the heart grow fonder.’

‘Or the dick harder,’ Ella says.

I stare at her for a couple of seconds. ‘What?’

‘Or the dick harder.’ She shrugs, looking a little sad. ‘I’m not trying to be a bitch, but we don’t know if it’s his heart or his dick that misses you.’

I giggle slightly. ‘That’s true.’ I shift my legs. I’m starting to feel wet just thinking about his dick. I know that’s a crazy response, but the thought of him in bed is enough to turn me on. I grin to myself as I think about him inside of me, growling my name.

‘Get your mind out of the gutter, Sarah,’ I mumble.

I don’t want to think about Ethan inside of me, but it was hot, and the grunts and the groans that he made and the way he held my body so tightly was amazing.

‘What are you thinking about Sarah?’ Ella asks, pinching me in the shoulder.

‘What?’ I say innocently, blushing.

‘Your face just went red and you were making moaning noises.’

‘No, I wasn’t,’ I say quickly, but Isabel nods.

‘You totally were. Were you fantasizing about Ethan just now?’

‘No. Maybe. Kind of,’ I laugh. ‘Oh my gosh, what is this man doing to me?’

‘I don’t know,’ Isabel shakes her head. ‘But I need to find someone who’s going to make me feel that way too.’

We all start laughing then and I wonder if Isabel is really serious about trying to find someone. She’s been single for even longer than I have, and I love her and I want her to find someone. I make a mental note to see if I can get her to join a dating app or at least go to some bars or speed dating events with me. Even if it’s just for some good sex. Ethan has made me realize that even though it’s nice being alone, it’s even better when you can be with someone.

I attempt to pull down the hem of my short black dress as I make my way towards the Champagne Room. I’m excited. I’ve never been in a bar as exclusive as this one before and I’ve never been on a date with a billionaire.

I wonder if Ethan’s going to bring me roses and chocolates or perfume. I wonder what it is that billionaires bring their dates. I realize I don’t know if he’s the sort that likes to spoil his women or not, and I don’t even know if I am one of his women. It’s only a first date and I haven’t even heard from him since the phone call yesterday.

I step inside the lobby and look around. A cute man is standing there right in front of the entrance. He’s got a man bun, which I normally don’t like, but he’s so handsome that it doesn’t matter.

‘Hi,’ I say as I walk toward him.

‘Hi, can I help you?’ He looks me up and down and I can see his eyes widening appreciatively.

I had spent hours on my makeup and hair, but I wanted to look my best for my first official date with Ethan.

‘Yeah, I am meeting someone here and his—.”

‘Oh, that’s a pity,’ he says, disappointment in his eyes.

‘Sorry, what?’

‘I was hoping you were going to say you were meeting a girlfriend or you were just coming to have a solo drink.’ He chuckles slightly.

‘Oh, why is that?’

‘Because I get off in a couple of hours and I’d love to take you out.’

‘Oh, well, I mean, I’m kind of here for a date and…’ I blush slightly. Was this cute guy really flirting with me?

‘All the gorgeous ones are taken,’ he says.

‘Well, you know.’ I run my fingers through my hair and laugh slightly. ‘I’m not quite taken yet, but…’

‘Ms. Kahan?’ I hear Ethan’s voice and I blink. I turn and look around and I see him standing in the corner. He’s wearing a business suit still, and there’s a blank expression on his face. My heart races slightly as I gaze at him.

‘Oh, there’s my date,’ I say, as I lift my hand up and wave slightly.

Ethan steps forward, but he doesn’t smile. I see three men following behind him and my heart jolts. Who the fuck are they? I put on a big smile and head towards Ethan.

‘Hi, I…’

‘What are you wearing?’ He whispers to me and I blink slightly as I see his eyes move towards my exposed thighs and back to my face. He shakes his head and then turns to the three men that were standing behind him.

‘Gentlemen, this is Sarah Kahan. She works in my copywriting department. I had her come because she has some good ideas for the new campaign. Sarah, this is Bob Discok, Bill Prints, and Joey Santorine.”

I swallow hard as my face goes bright red. I’d gotten it wrong. This was not a date. This was a business meeting with clients and here I was looking like a dolled-up prostitute. I knew I didn’t look professional. I knew my boobs were about to pop out as well as my ass. I bite down on my lower lip. I can’t believe this. I want a hole to open up and swallow me.

‘Hi,’ I say, and I’ve already forgotten the men’s names.

Each one shakes my hand and I just nod as they say something to me. I can’t even comprehend what they’re saying. My brain is racing. I feel completely out of it. I feel like a fool.

I look over at Ethan and his eyes are narrowed. I know he’s pissed. But maybe not as pissed as I am. At both myself and him. Why hadn’t he told me this was a business meeting? Why had I assumed it was a date?

‘Shall we have a seat?’ One of the men says. I can’t remember his name, but he looks at me appreciatively. He looks like a slightly younger version of George Clooney. He’s very attractive, and even though his hair is gray, I’d decide I’ll still flirt with him even though I’m not into older men.

‘Yeah, that sounds good,’ I say as he pulls out my chair and waits for me to sit.

”So Sarah, how long have you been at Rosser International?’ The George Clooney lookalike asks me, and my mind goes blank.

‘Well,’ I lick my lips nervously as I attempt to pull the back of my skirt down again. This is not good.

‘One second. I just need to speak to Sarah for a moment,’ Ethan says, as he grabs my arm and pulls me over to the side of the room.

‘What are you wearing?’ He asks, his blue eyes blazing as they narrow.

‘What do you mean what am I wearing?’ I glare at him. “Clothes.”

‘What do you not understand by my question? Why are you wearing,’ he flickers over my breasts and down my long legs. “This barely nothing piece of material. It’s very inappropriate.’

I’m not about to tell him I thought he’d asked me on a date. There’s no way in hell I would let him know that.

‘I’m going out later to a pole dancing class,’ I say. ‘And I just wanted to be in the right attire.

‘A pole dancing class?’ His eyes narrow to a slit. ‘Is this your way of telling me that you really are a stripper after all?’

‘No,’ I say through gritted teeth.

‘This is very unprofessional, Sarah,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘You’re going to force me to report you to HR.’

‘Excuse me?’ I say staring at him. He’s gone way too far now.

‘I also saw you flirting with two men when you came in.’

‘What men?’

‘The guy with the long hair.’

‘Oh, you mean the waiter with the man bun?’ I ask.

‘Yes,’ he says.

‘I wasn’t, I mean, hey, he just wanted to know if he could take me out for a drink later. What do you care?’ I say, rolling my eyes.

‘I don’t care, but it’s very unprofessional. When you are on a business meeting lunch, you need to be professional.’

‘Oh, shut up, Ethan,’ I say, wondering why he’s acting like such a jerk.

‘Excuse me?’

‘I said, shut up, Ethan. You know what? Just kiss my ass.’

‘Oh,’ he says, his eyes glittering. ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ I say, rolling my eyes. ‘I’d absolutely love it, not.’

My jaw drops as he falls to his knees and I just stare at him.

‘What are you doing?’

He looks up at me and winks. ‘You wanted me to kiss your ass, right?’

He grabs a hold of my thigh and runs his fingers down the side. I swallow hard. I look over towards the gentlemen. None of them are looking at us, but all it will take is one glance and they will see Ethan on his knees next to me.

‘What do you want me to do now?’ He says. ‘Sarah, I bet you want me to lift up the bottom of that dress so you can sit on my face?’

My jaw drops, and he chuckles slightly as he stands back up. ‘But you’d maybe like that a bit too much, wouldn’t you?’

‘You are so inappropriate, Ethan Rosser.’ I glare at him. I’m mortified and annoyed and I can see that he’s wanting to get a reaction out of me. Well, he’s going to have to wait a long time for that.

‘Am I?’ He says, looking me up and down. ‘Or are you?’

I just stare at him for a couple of seconds and say nothing because he’s right, of course. I’m totally not dressed appropriately for a business lunch. But then again, I had thought it was a date. ‘To be quite honest, I’m bored of this conversation,” I say as I walk away from him. ‘I have things to do later, so let’s just get this meeting done quickly.”