Mid-Thirties Slightly Hot Mess Female Seeking Billionaire: Chapter 27

Sarah

Dear Diary,

I’m writing this from heaven. That is all. My heart is broken. Sad Sarah.

My head is pounding slightly as I wake up. I try to stretch, but I feel that I’m encumbered by something. My eyes open slowly and I realize that Ethan is here in the bed with me. I turn my head over to the side and I gasp as I see that he’s awake and staring at me.

‘Hey, how are you feeling this morning?’ he asks, a look of concern in his face.

I remember the previous evening and how I danced for him and acted the fool, and fallen and bumped my head. How he’d rushed me to the hospital and stayed with me. How he’d brought me back, and here he was still with me.

My heart thuds as I stare at him. ‘I’ve seen better days,’ I say, my head pounding slightly. ‘I think that I should eat something.’ I lick my lips. My mouth is dry.

‘Would you like some water?’ he asks, and I nod slowly. He reaches behind him and grabs the water bottle and hands it to me.

‘Thank you,’ I say, as I open it and take a sip.

My dry throat welcomes the water and I just stare as he stares at me. It’s a weird feeling waking up with him in my bed. I don’t really know what it means. I don’t really know why he’s been so concerned, but I like it. It makes me feel closer to him. It makes me feel loved, which is something I haven’t felt in a really long time.

‘You scared me last night,’ he says.

‘Really? I’m okay, though. The doctor said I’ll be fine. I just nicked my ear on something.’ I roll my eyes. ‘Just my luck.’

‘You really should think about…’ He pauses and his lips twitch.

‘I should really think about what?’ I say. ‘If you’re going to diss my dancing…’

‘Would I do such a thing?’ he says. ‘I think you’re an amazing dancer.’

‘Liar,’ I giggle. ‘I know I’m not that great.’

‘No, you’re better than great,’ he says. He reaches over and touches my forehead, and then brushes my hair back. ‘You have really beautiful eyes. Did you know that, Sarah?’

‘Really?’ I blink at him. ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome,’ he says. ‘You have a really beautiful face as well and a beautiful nose.’ He kisses the tip of my nose. ‘And beautiful lips.’ He kisses my lips. ‘And a beautiful chin.’ He kisses my chin. ‘And a…’

‘If you say a beautiful breast or pussy, I’m going to slap you,’ I say, laughing.

‘What does that mean?’ He says, chuckling. ‘You don’t want me to suck on your boobs or lick your pussy?’

I stare at him with wide eyes.

‘Or is it too early for that? Do you not feel good enough for that?’

‘Ethan,’ I say. ‘I literally just woke up.’

‘And?’ He says, biting down on his lower lip. ‘Are you just feeling too sick to be treated well?’

‘What do you mean by treated well?’ I ask him chuckling.

‘I mean, loved on.’

My heart races at his choice of words. Is he hinting to me that he likes me like that?

‘Why? What are you offering?’

‘I’m offering to make you feel good,’ he says. He shifts slightly and my legs move to the side. I feel his hard cock next to my knee and I rub back and forth gently. ‘Fuck. You are a tease, aren’t you?’

‘I don’t try to be a tease,’ I giggle, as he pulls me into his arms and kisses me passionately. I moan slightly as I press my body into his and run my fingers through his hair.

‘You always make me feel alive, Sarah,’ he says, as he runs his fingers down my back. ‘You love to challenge me, don’t you?’

‘I don’t know about that. This time last month you didn’t even know I existed, and if you’d ever noticed me, it was just as the nerdy woman that worked in the copywriting department. You didn’t even know my name.’

‘Perhaps that’s true, but I don’t know the names of many people that work for me. But trust me, from that night I saw you dancing on that table, I knew.’

‘You knew what?’ I asked, wondering if he’s going to tell me that he knew he was in love with me. That he’d fallen for me at first sight, that he never wanted to let me go. I know I’m being ridiculous hoping for that, but I watch a lot of romance movies. I read romance books, and I even knew a couple of people that had fallen in love at first sight. Why can’t it happen for me?

‘I knew that you were a sexy, sexy woman,’ he says.

I feel slightly deflated by his words, but oddly still turned on. ‘You did now?’ I say, touching the side of his face. ‘Well, I’ll have you know that I always knew that you were handsome.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yep,’ I say. ‘Even when you didn’t recognize me.’

‘So did you write that ad because you wanted me?’

‘I’d already had you,’ I say. ‘Well, not technically, but…’

‘But what?’ He moves back and stares in my face. ‘Have you had dirty dreams about me?’

‘I plead the fifth.’

‘We’re not in court. Tell me, have you had dirty dreams about me?’

‘I may or may not have had a dream of us making wild, passionate love on a beach in the Caribbean before you have even said a word to me. Yes.’ I blush slightly. ‘Now judge me all you want.’

‘I’m not judging you. I think I kind of like that,’ he says. ‘It makes me even hotter.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. So you’ve really been digging me, haven’t you?’

‘Oh my gosh. You’re going to have such a big head now. I’m not trying to give you a bigger ego than you already have.’

‘Too late,’ he chuckles, as he slides his hand up the back of my shirt. ‘I want to make love to you, Sarah,’ he says, as he kisses the side of my neck. ‘And I don’t know if you’re up for it right now. I don’t know if you need to shower, or if you want to sleep, or if you want to have breakfast or you just want to rest, but…’

‘I want you too, Ethan,’ I say.

He growls as he pulls off my outfit, and I reach over and pull off his shirt. I touch his naked chest as he undoes my bra and kisses down my collarbone. I feel his lips on my nipple and I moan slightly as I dig my nails into his back.

‘You’re so fucking hot. You know that, Sarah?’

‘Is that all I am to you?’ I tease him as he kisses down my stomach. His tongue licks my belly button and I shiver slightly.

‘No,’ he says. ‘You’re more to me than a quick fuck. You know that, right?’

‘How am I supposed to know that?’ I say, teasing him some more as he grabs my shorts and my panties and pulls them down.

‘Well,’ he says, and bites down on his lower lip.

‘Well what?’ I ask.

‘I don’t know that I’m ready to say just yet.’ He glances at me and I know in my heart of hearts that he loves me and that he just doesn’t know how to say it.

‘Fuck me,’ I say softly, reaching up and grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck. ‘Fuck me now.’

‘So demanding,’ he grunts.

I watch as he pulls off his pants, his fingers moving up and down on his cock, making him harder and harder. He opens my legs and runs two fingers down my slit and my body starts trembling.

‘You’re so fucking hot,’ he says, as he positions his and slowly thrusts inside of me. He looks down into my eyes and kisses my lips. ‘I love being inside of you,’ he says, growling and I reach up and squeeze his ass cheeks and wrap my legs around his waist.

‘I love you being inside of me as well, Ethan,’ I groan as he moves faster and faster and I can feel my breasts bouncing up and down.

‘Fuck,’ he says. ‘Why does this feel so good? It’s never felt like this before for me,’ he says, as he increases his pace.

‘It’s never felt like this for me either,’ I say, looking up at him.

His eyes are glowing as he stares down at me. There’s a smile on his face and I can feel my heart racing. I reach up and touch his chest and I can feel his heart racing too.

‘Oh, yes,’ he grunts. ‘Oh fuck,’ he says as he clasps my hands to his. ‘Oh, Sarah. Yes.’

‘Me too,’ I say loudly, my lips parted as I stare at him. I just can’t hold it in anymore.

‘You too?’ He says, leaning down and kissing my lips and then my cheek.

‘I love you, Ethan. I love you, too. I’m falling for you. Maybe I’ve already fallen for you, but…”

“Fuck,’ he says, as he stills slightly and then slams into me hard two more times.

He pulls out and I feel him cumming all over my stomach.

‘Fuck,’ he says again.

‘It’s okay,’ I giggle, thinking he’s saying the words because I haven’t cum yet. ‘You can get hard again and fuck me again until I cum. I don’t always have to cum before you.’

He rolls onto his back and I see that he’s closed his eyes. I frown slightly as I glance over at him.

‘Ethan?’

He opens his eyes slowly and glances at me. There’s a bleak look in them. ‘I don’t love you, Sarah. I already told you I’m not looking for an emotional entanglement right now.’ He jumps up and grabs his top and boxers as my heart breaks. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I got to go. Will you be okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ I say, as coldness fills me.

I’m not going to cry. Not in front of him. I’m not going to let him see how hurt I am.

‘Look, I’m sorry. We can talk later if you want, but…’

‘No, it’s fine. Go,’ I say. ‘I was just saying that because we were making love and my head is still pounding and I wasn’t in my right mind. I don’t really love you. I was just…’ I bite down on my lower lip and turn away from him. ‘You should go.’

‘Sarah, I…’

‘It doesn’t matter. You know I’m a hot mess. You know I’m emotional. It’s fine. Go.’

He walks to the door, stops and looks back at me. I turn over and look at him. ‘Please text me or call me if you need anything,’ he says. ‘Okay?’

I nod and don’t respond. He sighs and walks out the door. I close my eyes as I wait for him to leave. Once I hear my apartment door closing, I burst into tears. I can’t believe I told him I love him. I really am an idiot. I can’t believe that he reacted that way. I can’t believe that I got it so wrong.

My heart feels like it’s never going to be the same, and I just don’t even trust the feelings in my brain or my head. How could he have looked at me with such love when obviously he felt nothing close to it?