The Baby Word War

It all started on a peaceful afternoon.

The babies were calm.

The house was quiet.

For once, nobody was crying—not even Lingling.

It should have been a relaxing moment.

But then—the competition began.

Orm, gently holding Norrawan in her arms, smiled down at her.

"Come on, baby, say 'Mama.'"

Lingling, sitting beside her, holding Sirilak like a prized investment, smirked.

"Or," she said smoothly, "say 'Ling.' Much classier."

Orm's entire body snapped toward her.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" Lingling shrugged. "'Ling' is a strong name. Simple. Powerful."

Orm squinted. "She's not calling you by your actual name. That's weird."

"No, it's elegant."

"No, it's emotionally cold."

Lingling tilted her head. "Then why do you love it?"

Orm opened her mouth.

Then closed it.

Then sighed like a woman who just realized she walked straight into a trap.

"Touché."

Lingling smirked victoriously.

"Besides," she continued, adjusting Sirilak's tiny blanket, "I should have some advantage since I literally carried you through labor."

Orm's jaw dropped.

"I HELD YOUR HAND THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING. I ALMOST LOST MY CIRCULATION."

Lingling waved a dismissive hand.

"Irrelevant. 'Ling' is happening."

"Over my dead body."

And just like that—

The war officially began.

Orm's Methods:

• Repeats "Mama" at least a thousand times a day. No exaggeration. She whispers it, chants it, sings it. It's background noise at this point.

Lingling has threatened to move out twice.

• Plays voice recordings of herself saying "Mama" while the babies sleep.

Full propaganda tactics. Orm has strategically placed Bluetooth speakers near the cribs.

Lingling, waking up at 3 AM to hear Orm's voice whispering "Mama" from the baby monitor, has nearly had a heart attack.

• Holds up flashcards with "Mama" written on them.

Educational manipulation.

Every tummy time? Flashcards.

Every feeding session? Flashcards.

Lingling walked into the nursery and found Sirilak surrounded by flashcards like she was studying for the SATs.

• Uses Becky and Freen as reinforcements.

Becky has started calling Orm 'Mama' just to brainwash the babies.

Freen just enjoys the chaos and yells "MAMA" randomly in the house to mess with Lingling.

Lingling's Counterattack:

• Whispers "Ling, Ling, Ling" every time she picks up the babies.

Soft, subtle, yet consistent.

Every cuddle? "Ling."

Every diaper change? "Ling."

Orm has started glaring at her every time she hears it.

Tells the nanny to refer to her as "Ling."

The ultimate betrayal: the nanny, completely neutral in the war, now refers to Lingling as "Madame Ling."

• Offers rewards.

"Say 'Ling,' and I will buy you a pony."

Sirilak blinked twice.

Norrawan drooled in what looked like consideration.

Orm nearly passed out from rage.

• Hires Milk as a double agent.

Milk swore loyalty to Lingling.

For the low price of free food, Milk has started whispering "Ling" into the babies' ears when Orm isn't looking. Orm found out and tried to bribe Milk back.

Milk is now playing both sides.

And so, the war continues.

Because nobody in their circle knew how to mind their own business, what started as a wholesome milestone for their babies quickly escalated into a high-stakes gambling event.

The Group Chat:

📲 Becky: Betting 100 on "Mama." Orm has the persistence of a cockroach.

📲 Freen: 200 on "Ling." Lingling is a villain and I respect it.

📲 Milk: 50 on something completely random. These babies have chaotic genetics.

📲 Suzy: What if one of them says "Becky" first?

📲 Becky: A BANGER OPTION. LET'S GO.

📲 Orm: WHY ARE YOU ALL GAMBLING ON MY CHILDREN?!

📲 Lingling: Betting is illegal.

📲 Freen: Lingling, you literally bribed the babies with a pony.

📲 Lingling: And?

📲 Becky: Oh, she's so self-aware.

📲 Milk: NEW BET: Which baby talks first?

📲 Freen: 100 on Norrawan. She has main character energy.

📲 Becky: 100 on Sirilak. She's silent but calculating.

📲 Milk: 50 on one of them just grunting and walking off.

📲 Suzy: 500 on the first word being a curse word.

📲 Becky: SUZY.

📲 Lingling: NO ONE IS TEACHING THEM TO SWEAR.

📲 Orm: You're all banned from my house.

📲 Milk: Then how will we know who wins?

📲 Orm: ...

📲 Lingling: ...

📲 Becky: Oh my god, they want to know too.

📲 Freen: They're as messy as us. I love it.

And just like that, the first words of Sirilak and Norrawan became a highly anticipated, borderline criminal betting event.

It was a calm, unsuspecting morning.

The twins were happily playing in their crib, completely oblivious to the chaos they were about to unleash.

Lingling and Orm hovered nearby, watching them like scientists monitoring an important experiment.

On the couch, the usual suspects—Becky, Freen, Milk, and Suzy—sat in complete silence, eyes glued to the tiny humans like they were watching the final episode of a psychological thriller.

And then—

It happened.

The event that would shake the very foundation of their household.

Norrawan, tiny, innocent, and unknowingly about to start a war, opened her mouth...

Paused dramatically...

And proudly declared—

"CEO."

Time. Stopped.

Lingling choked on air.

Orm dropped the spoon she was holding, baby food splattering onto the floor like it had just given up on life.

The room fell into complete, unnatural silence.

And then—

Becky fell off the couch.

Not a gentle slip.

A full, dramatic, legs-in-the-air, body-flopping-off-the-cushions collapse.

Freen wheezed so hard she physically couldn't breathe, clutching a pillow for support.

Milk was crying with laughter, pounding the couch.

Suzy?

Face-down. Unmoving. Emotionally deceased.

And in the middle of it all—

Lingling.exe completely crashed.

She stood there, motionless, mouth open, eyes vacant, hands trembling.

Orm, still in shock, slowly turned to her.

"...Did she—"

Becky shot up from the floor like she had been resurrected.

"DID SHE JUST CALL YOU 'CEO'?!"

Lingling grabbed Orm's arm, horrified.

"What have I done?!"

Orm, howling, nearly collapsed herself.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU TALK ABOUT WORK TOO MUCH!"

Lingling gasped, clutching her chest.

"I HAVE FAILED AS A MOTHER."

While everyone was still recovering from the shock that Norrawan's first word was an actual job title, Sirilak, the quieter, more observant twin, finally decided it was her time to shine.

She looked directly at Lingling.

Held her gaze like she was about to deliver life-altering news.

And in a voice that sounded way too judgmental for a baby,

She tilted her tiny head and said—

"No."

Lingling's soul left her body.

Becky wheezed so hard she had to crawl away from the crime scene.

Freen had to wipe actual tears from her eyes.

Milk screamed into the void.

"SHE INHERITED LINGLING'S PERSONALITY. IT'S OVER FOR ALL OF US."

Orm, smug as hell, grinned like she had just won the lottery.

"Oh. My. God."

Lingling, still gasping, still completely in shock, clutched her heart.

"My own daughter... denied me..."

Sirilak blinked, completely unfazed.

Then, as if she knew exactly what she was doing,

She said again, louder this time—

"No."

Lingling physically fell onto the couch, clutching her chest like a dramatic old noblewoman in a period drama.

"This is my karma."

Becky, absolutely no help, wheezed from the floor.

"It really is, babe."

As Lingling lay on the couch questioning all of her life choices, Norrawan, still glowing with pride from her first word, babbled again.

Everyone froze.

Lingling shot up, eyes filled with dread.

"Don't—"

Norrawan clapped her tiny hands.

And in the sweetest, most innocent voice, she chirped—

"ROI."  (a/n: "return of investment")

Lingling let out a silent scream.

Becky collapsed again.

Freen was sobbing into a pillow.

Milk was on the floor, kicking her feet like a child.

Suzy?

Fully gone. Checked out of life. No longer here.

Lingling, devastated beyond belief, turned to Orm in slow motion.

"We have to fix them."

Orm, laughing so hard she was wiping actual tears from her face, shook her head.

"Babe, it's over. You already corporate-brainwashed them."

Lingling stared into the distance, defeated.

"This is worse than I ever imagined."

Norrawan, giggling, clapped her tiny hands again.

"CEO! ROI!"

Lingling covered her face with her hands.

"What if their first full sentence is 'quarterly profits are up'?"

Lingling, ignoring everything, dropped onto the couch like a woman in crisis.

"I need to read them fairy tales. I need to reverse the damage. I need—"

"Ling, it's too late," Orm snorted.

Lingling let out a long, defeated groan.

Then, just to send Lingling further into existential despair, Norrawan giggled and babbled—

"ROI."

Lingling screamed into a pillow.