32

Word Count: 2182

~Sienna

I drain my glass, feeling the sweet burn of alcohol in my throat.

I wish I could have fun. I wish I could enjoy this.

Thankfully my sorry state is going unnoticed. The entire back lawn of Onyx's estate has been transformed, holding more people than I ever could have imagined.

A sprawling white tent has been set up, sparkling golden lights raining down from the top, weaving into wreaths of natural greens and white flowers.

It's so pretty it's sickening.

"We can have a wedding like this one day," Kayn says from beside me, looking around with wonder.

After the ceremony, we were seated at a relatively unimportant table near the edge of the tent. The centre has been left open for dancing.

The ceremony was beautiful. Violet looked stunning walking down the aisle in a fluffy white dress, a gauzy veil raining down over her face, dotted with sparkling jewels that glimmered in the sunlight.

And Onyx...

I excused myself before the vows, claiming a stomach ache. In my defence, a deep, aching pain has taken up residence between my ribs, and seeing Onyx gazing down the aisle as his approaching wife nearly had me tumbling into a panic attack.

"I don't want one this big," I mutter into my third glass of alcohol.

Instead of a pleasant, distracting buzz, I'm stuck with a rotten feeling of sorrow.

Many people of prominence have approached me, mumbling contradictory statements. Some congratulate me on my new relationship, while others give me pitied pats on the shoulder, rambling about how hard it must be to watch my lover finally marry.

Worst of all, I have to grit my teeth and force a smile. I may not carry Onyx's title anymore, nor be in nearly as much danger, but the ruse must be maintained to secure my friend's legitimacy.

"But you are open to marrying me?" Kayn asks tentatively.

"I...one day."

That's the last thing I want to be thinking about right now.

"My mother wants me to marry soon." Kayn turns his body to face me, rubbing his hands together. "For the business."

"I'm tired of all these meaningless unions for political power" I grumble.

The only person benefitting from marrying in this instance is Kayn. I have no place in his family's business, and the one time I met them solidified that fact.

They wanted nothing to do with me.

"From what I can tell, Violet and Onyx are really in love," Kayn observes, watching the pair across the dance floor.

They are talking to another couple I don't recognise. Onyx rubs Violet's arm tenderly before excusing himself, vanishing out of the tent.

I watch him go, feeling the burning urge to follow him.

The interaction we had earlier was a nightmare. He acted like he barely remembered me like he was glad to move on.

Our friendship really is over.

"I think you're right," I murmur.

"Aren't you happy for them?" Kayn asks, offering me a smile.

I know what he is doing. He knows there was something between me and Onyx, and he wants me to move on. That way, maybe I'll finally give him all of my attention.

"Deliriously," I grumble, draining another glass of sparkling wine, coughing into my hand as the bubbles burn my throat.

Kayn gives me a sidelong glance. "Would you like another drink? You seem to be getting through them fast."

"Can you go grab me one while I head to the bathroom for a minute?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes but nods, getting up from the table. The moment his back is turned I gather my skirts and head off toward the same gap in the tent Onyx passed through.

It takes me out into the cool of the night. Temporary posts in the ground, dotted with lights, lead the way for guests to the manor so they can use the bathrooms.

I hurry down the path, my heeled shoes sinking into the grass with every step.

If I do see Onyx, I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. Mostly I just want to be in his presence for a moment, alone.

Pressing through the back door, I let the familiar smell of home roll over me. Tears threaten to prick at my eyes as I wander down the hallway.

Thankfully I saw Diane earlier setting up the food. I promised to visit her before I left tonight. Maybe that's what I should really be doing now.

A dark figure emerges from around the corner, hands stuffed into their pockets, head bowed.

My breath catches in my throat. Onyx.

He pauses at the sight of me, his entire body stiffening. He slowly looks over his shoulder, like he's contemplating walking in the opposite direction to evade me.

Unfortunately for him, I've already seen him.

I stop in front of him. "Hi."

His gaze considers me. Every inch. Knowing that he's seen me almost naked makes my cheeks tint, but more than that, I'm relieved to have his attention again. However brief.

"Hi," he greets smoothly. "I was just heading back."

"Congratulations. Seriously," I say breathlessly, offering a trembling smile.

I'm closer to him than I was earlier. I can smell his familiar scent, and see the finer details of his face. Fuck, I wish that, unlike our proximity, he didn't feel so far away.

He rubs his jaw. "I appreciate that."

He looks exhausted. Shadows linger under his dark eyes, which seem to have a solemn look about them. The sweet, gentle friend I remember who was full of life is gone.

"Are you okay?"

He straightens. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem on edge," I note.

He looks ready to launch past me to escape our conversation, his eyes flickering from my face to the door behind me. It's like my proximity disturbs him.

"It's just been a busy few weeks, is all." His eyes grow dark and haunted as rubs the back of his neck.

I should just let him go. I should forget I ever loved him, loved our friendship.

But I can't...

"I miss you. I miss our friendship," I blurt out.

The only acknowledgement of that I get from him is the slightest crease between his brows.

"You should come visit one day. You and Kayn." He sounds like he's in pain.

I smooth my sweating palms down my dress, a lump forming in my throat. He's only offering for Kayn and I to visit out of pity. He probably thinks I'm desperate, pathetic.

"I...yeah I plan on it," I force out. "Sorry,I haven't come sooner. It's been so busy."

He shrugs. It's like he doesn't care what I do. It's like he's entertaining this conversation to be polite when all he really wants to do is return to his awaiting wife.

When he takes a long pause, I turn to go. There's no point dragging this out until it becomes painful.

"Have you started your book?" He asks suddenly, almost like he can't help himself.

I turn back around. "I have. The nature there is incredible and I'm making a good living off the clothing I've been making and selling."

He lets out a breath, offering the slightest smile. He looks relieved.

I feel the urge to say 'don't worry Onyx, you didn't screw me up too bad" but I can't manage to form the words.

"I'm happy for you," he murmurs.

"I even made this dress," I announce. He always loved that I could take mere scraps of fabric and turn it into something beautiful.

"I noticed," he whispers. I almost don't catch it.

"What do you think?"

I spin in a circle, the skirt flaring up, swishing around my legs beautifully. When I look back at Onyx he's staring at the ground, his jaw clenched tight.

"You look nice," he forces out.

I rest my hand on the side of my face, a little dizzy from the spinning and the alcohol. I'm going to feel bad when I wake up tomorrow for more than one reason.

"So...Violet," I force out once I've righted myself.

"What about her?"

"I'm glad it worked out for you. You two seem happy," I offer, clearing my throat.

There is something about his choice of Violet that physically hurts me. She's the only one I could have seen him fall for, and to make matters worse, she is going to make an excellent Luna.

Unlike me. What everyone thinks they know about my lineage makes me incapable of filling the position.

If only they knew who my father was.

"She's a perfect fit," Onyx states. "My mother is happy, as you can imagine."

"So, when is she birthing our Pack's saviour?" I tease, trying to lighten the mood.

I'm scraping for reminders of the best friend I was once so close with. This person in front of me is foreign, unrecognisable.

He frowns. "I don't know."

"That was a joke. You know I don't care about any of that."

He rubs the back of his neck, looking off behind me. "Right. Yeah."

I should let him go now, but I can't help but cling on. I want him to go on and on about his favourite book, to hear him tease and taunt me, to see him in the low lighting of the barn while we talk for hours.

"I'll have you know that I've gotten Kayn into cards. I'm better than ever. We'll have to play a game soon so I can show off my skills," I offer, grinning.

"I doubt I'm any good anymore," he responds blandly.

I teeter back and forth on my feet, wishing I had that glass of wine Kayn was getting me. "Ah, well a clean sweep isn't any fun."

"True."

Wow. This is unreasonably uncomfortable.

If someone had told me earlier this year that Onyx and I would barely be on speaking terms, I would have laughed in their face. I would have told them that's a ridiculous notion because nothing could ever stop us from caring deeply about each other.

"Look, I should probably head back-"

In that moment he reaches up to scratch his head, his sleeve pulling down slightly.

The light catches on the silver setting of the bracelet on his wrist. It's the green speckled stone I found for him, that I made into a bracelet I told him never to take off.

"The bracelet," I gasp.

He immediately drops his arm. "Huh?"

"You haven't taken it off." My surge of hope is quickly smothered by melancholy. I was so happy when I gave him that bracelet, and so in love with him, albeit secretly.

He pulls his sleeve back, examining the bracelet with quiet contemplation. His breath seems to catch in his throat, a slight sheen passing over his eyes.

"You made it for me. Why would I ever take it off?" He murmurs, raising his gaze to me before he lowers his arm again.

Suddenly I feel it. Feel him. It's just a glimpse, so very far away, but I can tell my Onyx isn't lost entirely.

"I don't know. I thought maybe it would make Violet uncomfortable."

Perhaps I'm entirely off-base with that assumption. I've only ever been just his friend. Violet, probably thinks it's sweet, and to Onyx, it is merely a reminder of his past.

"I promised you I wouldn't," he says gently. "I would never break a promise."

It takes everything in me not to launch into his arms. With his strained expression, I see a broken man. Even his eyes seemed rimmed red, like he's holding back an onslaught of emotion.

"Do you think of me every time you see it?" I whisper.

He looks away, his jaw hardening. I get the suspicion in right about it. I want him to admit it, to admit why he never wrote to me.

"I should probably get back to the party. People...Violet will be wondering where I am." He rubs the back of his neck, looking anywhere other than me.

He suddenly brushes past me, desperate to remove himself from this situation.

"Wait," I call out.

I don't expect him to stop, but he does. He pivots, staring me down.

"I'm happy for you, Onyx. I mean that," I say earnestly. "You deserve happiness, and I hope Violet will give that to you."

He just blinks, his brows furrowed. He draws in a breath, gives me one more look then walks away.

I don't see him for the rest of the evening.

🤎••🤎

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Merry Christmas everyone and happy holidays!! Thank you for all the support this year, especially on this book. I much appreciate every one of you 💓🎄

~Midika 💜🐼