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Word Count: 2193

~Sienna

I did end up falling asleep...eventually.

Not until Onyx wrung as many orgasm's out of me as possible. I was so exhausted, my body weak and thoroughly used that I couldn't help the fitful sleep I've tumbled into.

Only to stumble headfirst into an old memory in the form of a dream.

I can feel the pain, the grief. It's all over my body, but especially in my stomach, in my heart. The loss grapples with the loneliness as I sit with my back against a kitchen counter, the polished stone floor cold beneath me.

My mother's funeral was today. She died so quickly, so unexpectedly that it still doesn't feel real.

Unfortunately the numbness has melted into grief and the feeling that I'm truly alone. We escaped my father and now the only person I had is gone.

My throat is thick and sore and no matter how much I blot at my cheeks, they are immediately soaked again by falling tears.

It's late; past midnight at least. A strip of moonlight illuminates me through the kitchen window, and empty plate of muffins Diane made.

Footsteps wander into the kitchen behind me, near silent behind the sounds of my sobbing.

I freeze, pausing my crying as I glance up to see Onyx has circled the counter. He stares down at me, hair tousled, eyes tired. He's wearing loose sleeping pants and a charcoal shirt, clearly having come down to get something to drink.

I barely know Onyx. He's just been announced as Alpha, but other than living in the same house as him, we have nothing in common, as far as I know.

Despite being similar in age, he shows no indication that he wants anything to do with me. Ever since my mother and I arrived at his doorstep begging for a job, he's avoided me.

He's so beautiful, and tall and forbidden. He's only a young Alpha, still being mentored by his mother, but he's born for that position. He enjoys solitude and long, intent stares that make my skin warm.

I just wish he would talk to me.

Right now he stares at me blankly, dragging his gaze over my tear streaked face, rumpled clothing and splotchy red cheeks.

I expect him to turn and walk away, to pretend he never saw me. Instead, his brows draw together and he crouches down to my level.

"Sienna...is everything alright?" He asks, his voice as soft as silk.

"No. Nothing is alright." A fresh wave of sobs overcome me. I bow my head, letting my hair drape in a curtain around my face, not wanting him to see my shame.

"The funeral was..." He rubs a hand through his hair tensely. "Well...I'm sorry."

Sniffing, I risk a glance up at him. He's blurry beneath a sheen of tears. This is the most attention he's paid me since I arrived beyond a few sentences in passing.

"The funeral was perfect. Your mother did well," I murmur.

Onyx offers a smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "She did."

The effort put into it made my heart melt. Lucia loved my mother too, and so did Onyx. They are grieving too.

"It hurts, Onyx." I clutch my hand over my chest, wishing my heart below would stop aching so much. "I know you couldn't care less, but it hurts..."

He flinches. "You don't think I care?"

"Why would you? You're becoming Alpha, you've got so much going on and...well, you hate me." I shrug helplessly. I would never have the courage to admit that on any other day, but I'm too overcome by emotion to care.

Being that Onyx is only just stepping up into his new role, there is so much for him to do in a day. He's almost never home anymore, tied to duties I don't dare inquire into.

"Oh Sienna, of course I care. I just didn't know if any words would be good enough." Devastation and frustration at himself stain his expression. "And I do not hate you."

"You avoid me at all cost. It's like I annoy you or something," I mumble, wiping under my eyes.

"Look at me." He takes my chin in his hand, tilting my head so our gazes meet. "I do not hate you. I only avoid you because I feel as though I everything I say to you is wrong. I find myself losing my train of thought when you're near, and I can't explain it."

"Oh."

I've been faced with the same quandary. I wouldn't know how to speak to someone like him, with so much power and youth. His whole life is in front of him while mine has felt as though it's been ripped away from me. I don't know how to relate to him...

Perhaps that is my problem. I cannot fathom a world where Onyx would struggle to speak to me, but maybe we are different people, but face loneliness and isolation all the same.

"I've never had a sister before," he admits coarsely. "I worry I cannot eloquently communicate how I feel to you."

A chasm opens up in my chest. "You see me as your sister?"

I would be lying if I didn't say I had a crush on him...how could I not? Beyond his looks, I see the way he conversed with my mother and his own, and how fairly he treats his people. He's going to be a good husband, and I envy who will be his wife one day.

"No...no, nothing like that," he dismisses quickly. "Not that you aren't welcome here forever. Your mother's passing and me becoming Alpha has changed nothing here."

"I can stay?" I straighten.

"Forever if you please. That bedroom is always yours." He smiles gently, smoothing my hair back away from my face with a touch so tender it presses back the most jagged edges of my grief.

"Even when you marry?"

Something shifts in his eyes. "Even then."

I press my head back against the kitchen counter as he settles next to me, his arm brushing against mine. We both face the kitchen window, seeing the pale snow falling in contrast to the dark night.

Minutes pass in silence. Not awkward or tense silence, but blissful, accompanied silence.

Onyx doesn't hate me. I have a place here as long as I need it. So much has been lifted from my shoulders in mere minutes, and yet I'm facing this new future without my mother...without someone I love so dearly.

I'm crying again. I'm surprised I have any tears left, and yet the continue to fall and drip down onto my lap.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to handle this," I choke out.

Onyx guides his arm around me, pulling me close until my head rests against his chest. "Never apologise for your grief. I'm here as long as you need me."

His deep voice reverberates through him, matching the steady thump of his heartbeat. I curl my fingers into the fabric of his shirt which my tears will no doubt dampen, craving his warmth and comfort.

"I'm all alone now..."

"No, you will never be alone again, Sienna." His grip around me tightens. "I will be with you every step of the way, do you understand? You will get through this phase of grief whether I have to drag you from it or not."

I peek up at him. "Then what?"

He gazes down at me in intense silence for a moment, contemplating his intentions. I can almost feel the press of his gaze as it travels over the lines of my face, lingering on the tears drenching my face.

"I'm going to take care of you. Forever," he vows softly.

I believe him. For the first time since I escaped my father, I feel safe, protected.

"Thank you, Onyx," I breathe. I wish I could convey my gratefulness more, but no way seems enough.

"Let me take you up to your room."

He helps me stand, my legs wavering from sitting on the kitchen floor for so long. I let him steady me, wanting more excuses to touch him. I'm not ready to be out of his arms yet, to feel the cold grip of loneliness once more.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I can't bear to be alone another night," I ask quickly, anticipating an abrupt rejection.

Sleeping in the newly appointed Alpha's room would cause scandal, but no one would have to know. It could be an innocent, one night thing...

"Of course, sweetheart," he murmurs, lacing his fingers through mine. "Of course."

I'm pulled slowly and painfully away from the memory. I want to reach out and grasp it, to go back to the prominent memories of my mother and the night Onyx stayed awake to hear all about them.

Instead, my eyes blink open and I'm staring at a stained ceiling, dregs of morning light pouring through a crack in the curtains.

I'm back in the inn. Back in reality.

I sit up suddenly, resting a hand over my fluttering heart. Onyx stirs beside me, a frown pressing between his brows as he notices me sitting up.

"Hey, everything okay?" He smooths his palm up and down my back in an effort to comfort me, leaning up so he can examine my face.

"I had a dream," I whisper, my voice hoarse. "But it was more of a flashback."

"About what?"

"The night after my mother's funeral. When I was crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night." I lean into him, resting my head against his shoulder. "You came and comforted me."

Onyx releases a breath, relieved that nothing else is haunting me.

"Everything changed that night," he says.

I nod slowly. It truly has. I went from a grieving girl, to one pushing through into a new, uncertain life. I went from pining for a man I couldn't have to being in love with him, all the barriers between us shattering only for them to be erected again.

"I fell in love with you that night," I admit, turning my body to face him, the sheets sighing as I move. "You made sure I never felt alone for another moment after that."

"I fell in love with you too. Over and over again after that, but especially that night." His smile is tender, if not a little sad. "I realised we could never be just friends, that at some point we would become lovers."

At the time I wouldn't have never guessed he felt that way. Years after that we became close friends, but he was always so respectful and never indicated he was also in love with me.

"I'm glad we gave into that." I laugh under my breath.

His eyes warm. "Me too. Because today I get to marry you."

We both look down at my hand. When I'm away from Zion's prying eyes, I wear his grandmothers ring, wishing I never had to remove it.

"Married...wow." I shake my head in disbelief. "But no one can know, not even your own pack. If they do, Zion will realise Alston and I's marriage will be a sham."

"It will remain a secret, for now." He sighs begrudgingly. "Then once Zion is dealt with, and Alston has his heir, I'm taking you on a long honeymoon."

I perk up at the thought. "Where will you take me?"

"In a bed over and over again." Amusement dances in his eyes as I give him a playful slap on the arm. "Oh you mean destination? I was thinking a seaside village at the Northern border of my pack."

"I can finally see the sea," I murmur dreamily.

To think, I nearly ran away to see the sea before Onyx asked me to be his mistress. After that I couldn't, but I haven't stopped wishing I could. Now visiting to the sea feels like a tangible plan I can grasp onto to motivate me to get back to my mate.

He leans forward, pressing the softest kiss to my lips. "Like you've always dreamed."

"I love you. I'm so ready to marry you." I can feel the giddiness of excitement overcoming me. I've waited for this day since that moment in the kitchen, and it's finally coming to fruition.

"I love you too." He brushes his thumb along my cheek. "I've wanted this since I met you."

"Let's dress and sign this contract then." I kiss him again before scrambling from the bed, looking everywhere for the clothing Onyx practically tore off me last night. "I cannot wait a moment longer."

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