25 | finding back home

"Oh uhm hey Isaac I didn't expect to see you here" I answered without thinking as I looked him in the eye. Words can't explain how much I missed looking him in the eyes while talking about god knows what and just forgetting everything else around me.

"This is my house" he stated matter of factly and I mentally slapped myself. Why am I so goddamn awkward?

"Yeah right that's why I rang the doorbell" I said and there was an awkward moment of silence and in that moment I just wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it without the intention of ever coming out again.

"So can I help you with anything?" he said and there was nothing more that I wanted to do than to punch him in the face because he looked at me as if he didn't recognize me. As if there was nothing between us at all. As if I was just one of a few but I refused to believe that. I didn't want to think that he used me like he probably used the girls before me. And let me tell you I haven't been this angry for a really long time and every nervous cell in body just left me in that moment.

"I want to talk" I said and I was impressed with myself at how confident I sounded.

"I don't think there's anything to talk about" he said and was about to close the door when I stopped him.

"Are you serious right now Isaac? You left me two months ago without a single explanation of why you did it and now you want to get rid of me again? I just want to talk. I'm not asking you to marry me"

I sat on my couch with a glass of whiskey in my hand when the doorbell rang. At first I didn't want to answer the door thinking that it was Jax who wanted to drag me to another party but I knew that it wasn't Jax because he would've rung the doorbell a couple of times or use the hidden key that he somehow found.

So I stood up to answer the door and my blood went cold when I saw who it was. Emilia. It feels like forever since I last saw her. And she looked as gorgeous as always.

I tried to get her to leave but that woman is just as stubborn as I am and she set her mind on talking to me today so I knew she wouldn't leave without having that talk.

"Are you serious right now Isaac? You left me two months ago without a single explanation of why you did it and now you want to get rid of me again? I just want to talk. I'm not asking you to marry me"

I wish she would ask me though. Just kidding. Maybe.

She pushed the door open and invited herself in without giving me time to answer her question or deny her the entrance to my house. I closed the door after she went inside knowing that there's nothing I could say that would make her leave without having that talk first and I mentally prepared myself for the talk that I successfully avoided for over two months.

"So what is it that you want to talk about?" I asked her as I poured myself more whiskey in my glass and I ignored her judgmental stare as I did so.

"Are you drunk?" she asked with her arms crossed in front of her chest and a mad look on her face and I almost had to laugh at how cute she looked but I knew better than to laugh at an angry women.

"Did you come all the way here to ask me that? No I'm not. If that was your only question you can leave now you can show yourself out" I replied, sat back down on the couch and was about to drink my whiskey when Emilia ripped the glass out of my hand.

"What the fuck" I said and looked at her.

"Yeah what the fuck Isaac. You really want to pretend that you don't care about me huh? You can try all you want but I know that you're just pretending"

"Oh you do?" I asked and she nodded.

"And how would you know?" I said sarcastically and laughed at her. Don't let your walls fall Isaac.

"Your best friend told me and your actions actually speak louder than the words you never say but actually think"

"You mean Jax who liked to mess with people and makes a joke out of everything? You know why he spoke to you that day? Because he likes to play with women and he likes to make my life a living hell! He messed with you in order to get you to annoy me which apparently worked out because you fell for the game!" I said without looking at her.

"That's not true" she said.

"Is there anything else that you want from me?" I asked ignoring her statement.

"I overheard the conversation you had with your father at the office. I tried to get over what I heard thinking that it doesn't matter but I just couldn't see past it" she said.

"What conversation are you talking about?" I asked and I closed my eyes hoping that it wasn't the conversation where I told my dad that I do in fact have feelings for her.

"The one where you told your dad that you like but that you're pushing me because you're scared to hurt me" she answered and her voice cracked a little at the end which made me look up at her. She looked absolutely broken now that I'm looking at her closely.

"I just said that to make him think that's the truth so he isn't mad at me that I lied to mom" I said trying my best to sound convincing.

"Stop bullshitting me Isaac. If what you told your father is true and I like to believe that it is the truth that let me tell you it doesn't make any fucking sense. You don't keep me from being hurt by staying away from me in fact this is what hurts me the most. It doesn't get you anywhere to push away the people you love and care for the most. If you keep doing that you end up alone and if that's what you want then fine I'll leave but I want you to tell me right here and right now if you lied to your father about your feelings towards me. If you did I'm going to leave and never talk to you again like you want me to"

"I did say the truth" I said in a defeated tone and looked at the ground not being able to look her in the eyes while I said it.

"Then why are you pushing me away? Doesn't it hurt even more?" she asked as she took a step closer towards me.

"You don't understand" I replied

"Then make me understand" she begged in a pleading tone that I just couldn't say no to.

"Emilia there's things you don't know and things that I don't want to talk about. All you need to know that I have a talent for ruining people's lives and I can't stand the thought of ruining your life and hurting you"

"I'm a grown woman so let me decide whether I want to get hurt or not. And if you hurt me then so be it. I'd rather let you hurt me than to continue my life not knowing what would've happened if we were together. I want you in my life Isaac and I know that you want me in yours too. I have nothing to lose except from you" she said.

„What the hell happened to the shy and innocent woman that I first met at the flower shop?" I asked with a slight smile as her face came closer to mine.

"She fell in love with a stupid asshole" Emilia replied with an even bigger smile than mine and I swear my heart missed a beat when I heard those words slip past her perfectly shaped lips

"What?" I asked completely shocked

"You want me to say it again?" she asked in a whisper tone and I swear it was the sexiest sound I ever heard

"Yeah I think I misheard" I replied knowing that I understood her correctly but I just wanted her to say it again

"I love you" she repeated

"I love you too" I said and then our lips met again after two painfully long months and in that moment all pain left my body immediately and all I could focus on was the gorgeous woman in front of me.

Happy Holidays everyone and Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it! I thought I'd surprise y'all with a new chapter and I hope you like it