Chapter Thirty-One

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~Flashback~

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I remembered the night we talked by our windows.

She said she couldn't sleep because her pasts kept haunting her and jolting her awake, compared it to a nightmare so she wanted to have some company through the night.

She told me lots of things about herself at that moment, like where and how she lived before becoming a teacher. In those hours I noticed that she didn't want to be one, that it was not her dream but her deceased mother's she was left to accomplish. When she did become one, she didn't exactly hate it, thought it was decent but never thought that was where she truly belongs.

Karlene stared at the starless sky thinking, her mind full of imaginations. "When the time comes and I have to quit teaching, I'll probably start a business..." She shrugged as she spoke sounding unsure, then shifted her gaze to me. "Ellie, what do you think? You think I could do it?"

"What can't you do? Honestly..."

She might fool me making me think that she's new to this business thing, but I'm pretty sure she told me about it before, how she already saved enough money to start it, already researched it and have a clear plan about it... I think she just needs a little push and support.

"There's a high enough chance that it'll be popular in this town, I-I can use my page, I already have a page and followers for that!" She said excitedly. "And for the delivery, I could easily do that pshhh~ I have a car."

See? She even have a page, who make pages for nothing? Pfft~ She just needs a push, and she'll start it, trust me.

"But what if it flops, right? L-like what if they don't like my recipe? Shit..." She bit her finger nails, brainstorming.

"It's not gonna flop, you idiot." Seeing her stressed was making me stressed too. "If it does flop, then Evan and I would buy all of it, I would even recommend it to my relatives, god... They love cookies."

After a few minutes of her ranting about all the negatives and positives her future company would bring, the subject landed on me. She asked what was my plan after graduation, and to be honest, I have no idea, no dreams to chase, I felt like I didn't even knew myself that moment. What do I want to happen in my life? What are my interests? I asked myself for I didn't know where my life would lead me.

"I'm still waiting for a sign..." Hopefully, it'll come sooner. "My family said they'd support me on whatever track I would take."

It was true, they said I could go to college (though, I couldn't choose a specific course that I wanted ), or  they could take me in their company, start as their assistant or something, then they'll teach me all the way up (not sure if I wanted to spend my life in an office like them). That was me,  No plan at all...  Now sitting across Karlene felt uneven. I admired her passion on doing the things she loved, while she talked about it her eyes sparkled like stars, and even if the sky above us bear none, it wasn't as dull because in those moments it felt like I was face to face with one million stars combined.

I wonder why I couldn't shine like her, what would it take to...?

"You are so lucky, Ellie. You still have your family..." she said. "I don't. And it's pretty miserable if I were to say."

I didn't know what to tell her so I stayed quiet and let her have her moment to speak out all that has been kept hidden in her chest.

"All alone in a house that was supposed to be a home for a family-" she sighed. "Just fucking sucks- it's depressing, all this space I had been left with! We were supposed to move in, me and my dad. Then a stupid accident happened— it screwed me over!"

She looked up at me. Her eyes were just glowing despite the darkness around us. "Sorry, you had to hear me rant this late. I know you were sleeping, but you should get used to it, you know?" she joked.

All of the things she said were harsh and I felt more sorry for her, yet, why was it that I pull myself out of my daydream here and there because of my other thoughts about her?

"I don't mind. I like you." I said, then surprised myself with what came out of my mouth.

"Oh," she fixed her hair and tucked a strand behind her ear.

"I- uhh... I meant that I like you- uhh... Wait- I meant I like your- strongness...?"

Fuck, is that even a word?

Karlene just stifled a laugh and I caught a glimpse of her sweet smile.

I thought it was precious every time she did that. Like a bunch of butterflies flew around her face and rainbows appeared above her head.

"Strongness, really?" she teased.

"Don't make fun of me, I meant it!" I rolled my eyes. "You are just so strong and tough and I'm so fucking proud of you that you made it this far without giving up. If I was at your position I would've already poofed out of this world."

Karlene just laughed and I didn't know what was funny about what I said. Did she not believe me?

"You don't believe me? I'll shout it out if that will make it better."

She chuckled again, then tilted her head. "Would you really?"

I raised a brow. Inhaled air and prepared to shout.

"KARLENE MILLER IS BUILT DIFFERENT AND YALL ARE THERE SLEEPING ON HER!!" I busted out laughing when she blushed hard in embarrassment and closed her curtains. "BETTER FIX YOUR LIFE DECISIONS!"

Karlene peaked on her windows and threw a cookie plushie over my open window to shut me up. I caught it by hand anyway and teased her by sticking a tongue out. I guess it's mine now.

"Shh Ellie, you're gonna wake the whole neighborhood up!"

"Pfft~ Who cares?"

"I do!"

"Well, I don't. They really be sleeping on you though."

She squinted her eyes at me. "Hmm..." A tiny smile escaped her pink lips. "If you say so, I can't really argue." She did the famous Debby Ryan hair tuck.

Oh, she's really having her moment huh? Smh.

"C'mon, see? I knew you liked what I said!"

She rolled her eyes and said coldly, "Goodnight Ellie, sleep well."

Scared to admit it? She couldn't even stop smiling and she thought she was being sneaky only showing me half of her face.

"It was supposed to be 'good morning', Karlene. It's past midnight."

"Shit!" She cursed then sighed after. "What am I gonna do, we have a teacher's meeting later..." she pouted. She bit her lip as she looked down her window seeming to think of something. I leaned my body at my window looking at her. The upper part of her short hair was tied up,  reading glasses sat at the top of her head, she wore green pajamas (must be her favorite color since her robe had the same color), her face glowed in yellow-orange because of her room's light bulb. I was unable to look away at something so unexplainably captivating. She was the spindle on the spinning wheel that carries a curse, while she brought danger I question myself why getting close to her felt right. Have I been caught?

Then something snapped me back. My phone's notification rang and Anne sent me a photo, it was another picture of her and her new friends.

"Boring..." I said to Karlene while looking at my phone and pertaining to her meeting. "Sounds boring, no, it is boring."

"I know, like, kill me already." She whimpered.

"That's a mood."

We both laughed through the last hours before the sun rises. I would forever miss her company if she were to leave. Pfft~ I didn't knew that I liked being woken up involuntarily, I mean, if it was this great and fun... Then please wake me up everytime I sleep dreadfully, brighten me up and make me hopeful of what's ahead. Just stay, and you'll do just that. It was simple of a task, too easy, and it caught me off guard when I realized that that was all she needed to do to make me happy.

I look forward to every day I get to see her again. I long everytime for this solace. Who would've thought I'd find it in her...?

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