THIRTY EIGHT

"Say something," Cassie whispers after offloading her past to Xavier.  He has been quiet through it all and this is unsettling for her.

Xavier raises his head and looks at her, "Thank you for sharing." He says in a low tone.

Cassie nods, trying to process his reply, and then she pauses for a second before she shakes her head, "Is that all you want to say?"

"I mean, no one is perfect. I am definitely not."

She shakes her head in denial that someone can actually accept all she has told him easily. "You are just saying what you think I want to hear."

"No, because I know I am not a saint. I have slept with hundreds of girls, given them a good time. I probably should have gotten my money's worth." Xavier jokes.

Noticing the frown still on Cassie's face, "Sorry, bad joke." He says immediately. "Look my past hasn't been pretty either, drugs, gambling, anything you can name of. I am not going to judge you.  You are not perfect, neither am I but we are perfect together."

Cassie tries to maintain a straight face but she can't. She bursts into laughter.

Xavier smiles, "What?"

"You are so corny," Cassie says.

They both burst into laughter, suddenly Cassie stops laughing.

"We can't do this?" Cassie mutters.

"I don't understand." Xavier's smile drops.

"Us, this, I can't."

Xavier tries to make words but he can't, he just keeps on looking at her.

"The way you are looking at me right now-" Cassie says nervously as she avoids eye contact.

"I see this beautiful, amazing woman-"

"Well, I see a whore." Cassie burst out.

The room falls silent, Xavier tries to take her hands into his, she reluctantly gives it.

"Then you will have to look through my eyes. I will constantly remind you how amazing you are."

Cassie shakes her head, "It won't be healthy. When we break up-"

"When? Nice choice of word." Xavier scoffs.

"I don't want to rely on someone to see myself differently. I need to work on me and I believe you need to work on yourself too. I don't want to be the reason you go back to your old life."

Xavier trying to understand what's happening, he is in shock. "I don't understand. We have barely started dating."

"I thought I could do it. I thought I could ignore my past but clearly I can't." Cassie pauses, "I don't want to hurt you."

Xavier drops her hands in anger as he stands up, "This is bullshit. Something good is finally happening in your life and you are trying to self-sabotage. Telling me you don't want to hurt me? News flash, I am hurt."

Xavier picks up his jacket and walks out in anger.

"Xavier!" Cassie calls out.

~~~

Xander looks up from his newspaper staring at his brother walking into the dining room. "You don't look good." Xander comments.

"Coming from a guy who slept in a car," Xavier retorts as he takes his seat.

Xander drops his newspaper, "Did you-"

Xavier interrupts, "Drink, get high? No,"

"You drove off last night."

"I needed to clear my head."

"What happened? What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything wrong but she broke up with me either way. It's like I can't do anything well, I always fuck things up."

"It looks like it runs in the family bro," Xander jokes. "Well, I am proud that you are still sober."

"How about you? Are you okay?" Xavier asks.

"I don't know." Xander sighs, " My arguments with Cara is usually confrontational, this is foreign. So as much as I want to talk to her, I dread our conversation."

"If it makes you feel any better, Cassie says she looks out the window every time. You guys will be fine."

~~~~

"I made breakfast," Cara says in a cheerful mood as she ushers Cassie into the dining.

"I can see that." Cassie chuckles as she stares at the table.  Cara looks at her friend who's face is puffy and her eyes sad.

"Are you okay?"

Cassie nods slowly, "I am sorry for shutting the door on your face last night when you were trying to talk me last night."

"I deserve a door being shut on my face."

"Of course not,"

"I dragged you into this life-"

Cassie interrupts, "You mean the life with the nice house and cars, and did I mention the best job. I am glad you dragged me. I love this life."

"Yeah, it's pretty great isn't it?" Cara smiles.

They both stare at each other for a while, "You guys broke up, right?" Cara finally asks.

Cassie nods before taking a seat.

"I am so sorry," Cara mutters

"I will be fine. I just want to eat my feelings away."

"You are with the right person."

~~~

It's been a week since the names; Alexander Black, Liza Woods, and Cara Green were pasted over thousands of blogs and gossip magazines, it almost felt they will be talking about it for years. But then, it's Hollywood, there's always a new story around the corner. Everyone was waiting for Liza's reply, comeback, or defense but it never came, so the story died.

She tried to get information against the pair but to no avail. Mark has completely cut her off and she has come to that realization. She sent a voice message of hate words to him every night for a week.

Liza hoped her silence will scare Xander and Cara but Xander not coming to see her is evidence they are not scared of her.

The only joy she has right now is with the current knowledge that they are living apart. She had given the paparazzi's information about Cara's new place earlier this week and they rushed there. After a few days of nothing interesting, they finally left.

Last night, she got into a fight with Dianne and after which, Dianne left. The hours after that were devastating for her, she has never felt so alone in her whole life. Millions of followers and she is alone. Liza called her mum hoping that once, she acts like a mother but her mum is still pissed about the information she gave her dad that helped him in their divorce case. As for her dad, he is too busy. Then her stepbrothers, they are clout chasers. They only want her around so she can be in their stupid YouTube videos.

She was so lonely. She called Xander several times before she fell asleep. In the morning, she hoped to see him but he wasn't there. Guess he has cut her off too if only she could do the same.

As for Xander and Cara, they still aren't on talking terms. Cara intended on ignoring Xander for a week and she did it. Today, he followed her for her doctor's appointment, so they had to talk but it was mostly about the twins.

The car ride back to the house was quiet, tension filled the air, so many things are left unsaid. Xander walks Cara to the doorstep of her house.

Cara opens the door, then pauses before turning back, "Want to come in?" She asks.

"Oh, this gives me first date vibes. Is she going to kiss me? Are we going to have sex?"

Cara let out a low laugh, "Shut up." She says as she walks in, Xander follows behind her.

Xander looks around as he walks in. "This place looks amazing."

"Thanks," Cara says awkwardly knowing that the talk is coming. They are both standing in close proximity to each other, it's intoxicating. This makes the conversation they are about to have a lot harder.

"By the way, Jessica says the nursery will be available by tomorrow. You should drop by and check it out if it's to your taste."

"I am sure it's good. I thinking of having a nursery here too."

"Why?" Xander raises his eyebrows at her.

"Because I can," Cara replies.

Xander's once soft facial features turn to anger, "Hold up, this is becoming ridiculous and childish. I have tried to be understanding throughout this week and also ignore how petty it was that you packed out of the mansion. Now you want to live here? "

"Petty?" Cara repeats his words not believing her ears.

"I apologized for being there for someone that once meant something to me when I thought her dad was dying. It is not like I had sex with her on anything."

"Great," Cara claps, "Why don't you go do that since that's the only thing that can justify my anger." She snaps.

Xander closes his eyes trying to calm down. This is not what he wanted when he was yearning to talk to her throughout the week.

"I am sorry, sorry." He says more calmly. "Look, if it's about Liza, you have nothing to worry about. She can't bother us anymore."

"And how are you sure? You seem to always fall for her tricks and that what bothers me the most. I don't care if she wants you as long as I know you got me."

"Hey, hey," Xander says bring his hands on her face, cupping her cheeks. Their eyes lock, "I got you." He whispers.

Cara puts her hand on his before removing it from her face. "When I first met Liza, you needed to see the confidence and certainty that she can get you back even after cheating. I don't have such confidence in what we have. The power she has over you-"

Xander interrupts, "She has no power of over, what she had was gratitude and I have paid all my debts."

"Prove it," Cara mutters.

"How? Tell me whatever you want me to do."

"I don't know, figure it out but for now I need a break."

"A break? F-for how long?"

Teary-eyed, Cara replies, "I don't know."

"This is fucking bullshit," Xander says in frustration "Why can't you see I fucking love you?"

"I think you should leave now."

His face softens, "Cara," He whispers as he tries to take her hands but she shifts backward.

"Please go," She mutters. After the two lock eyes for a second, before he does as he is asked.

~~~

WHICH BREAK UP HURTS THE MOST?